Scared to not worry

[Chawk384]

Is anyone else scared not to worry? I feel like the minute I stop worrying about something that something bad will then happen....I know that sounds ridiculous but I have been worrying so long that I am not sure how to not worry- imagine that worrying about not worrying.....Lord help me lol but seriously anyone have any ideas on how to just let myself enjoy my life without thinking I have to worry or something bad will happen. Logically I know worrying about something does absolutely nothing to prevent something bad from happening- but it's like an addiction now almost. I have to say- I did start lexapro almost a week ago and I do feel some relief and I will start therapy in a month but I just wanted to get some thoughts on this

[ElectricAlice]

Yup you've hit the nail on the head and in doing this you've actually taken a good step towards recovery. It's good to realise that you're holding onto some sort of worry because you think it is beneficial to you. A lot of anxiety sufferers do this. Worry, when unmanageable, really doesn't have any benefit, because you can't change the future by worrying.

Sometimes taking small steps so you don't feel too 'out of control' can help. For example , choosing a time of the day where you 'alow' yourself to worry. Even write your worries down during this time. You're only allowed to worry in this time slot. And therefore you won't feel you're missing anything by not worrying. You just worry less. :)

Hope this helps, let go of the worry and practice some mindfulness too.

[Chawk384]

Thank you! I am going to try that!

[florida94]

I am the same exact way. I feel like its happened so much to me where I have finally been calm and at peace and then something goes wrong.

However, there have been times where nothing bad did happen. and I think this is where trying to talk to yourself helps a lot.

The best thing to remember is to speak words of calmness over yourself. For me, I like to say STOP.... STOP thinking negatively.

I just tell my mind to stop and my mind stops wandering.

I recommend taking up reading. Grab a book and read something to get your mind wrapped around somebody else's thoughts instead of your own. Do anything that helps you stay calm and happy. Things like funny videos for me always help get my mind off of what is stressing me out.

[lyndau63]

Hi,
That is exactly how I feel. Whilst I am desperate to get rid of the health anxiety, at the same time I am scared that, if I do, something will take me by surprise. As you say, deep down we know this can't be the case, but I know just where you are coming from.

[eshu55]

Oh I can so relate to this; I'm so afraid to stop worrying that if I am not worrying then I feel I should be worrying... it's a vicious circle. This is something that is called magical thinking, assuming the worst so that what does eventually happen is usually not as bad. It also comes down to wanting more control over life; and many of us who have this problem can look back to past reasons for it; childhood trauma, other bad experiences, a parent who also displays that sort of thinking. A psychologist once asked me if any of my scenarios had ever come true, and I had to answer, no.

Also to understand that really, you have no control over what happens in the future, so you may as well enjoy the present, the now, because worrying so much takes so much away from the present. I thoroughly recommend that people look up (free) podcasts from a wonderful Buddhist therapist called Tara Brach, especially her talks about on fear. She has helped me so much. I listen to her every day.

One analogy she gave was if you have been looking forward to a concert for a long long time, then you get there, and you just start enjoying the beautiful music, when you remember that you have left your door open (or stove on or whatever...) and you can't leave. She then talks on how your thoughts totally ruin the present experience... Another thing she speaks of is thinking of your thoughts as real but not true. They are real, because they exist, but they are not necessarily (or even likely) to be true.