Why can't I be happy? I don't even have real problems

[worriedsoul]

Hi everyone

Why does anxiety make life so unhappy? I'm so anxious about going back to work cos I'm worried the job isn't for me but I should be really happy.

I have everything most people would dream for. A very well paid job, my own house, a brand new car, a loving relationship for 10 years.

[glasswater]

Because it's a sickness and sickness can affect anyone regardless of class or relationships or possessions.

[braindead]

Hi everyone

Why does anxiety make life so unhappy? I'm so anxious about going back to work cos I'm worried the job isn't for me but I should be really happy.

I have everything most people would dream for. A very well paid job, my own house, a brand new car, a loving relationship for 10 years.

STRESSING ABOUT YOUR JOB . GIVE THE JOB THE ELBOW AND TAKE A LOWER PAID STRESS-FREE JOB. Its has easy has that:whistles:

[Autumnx1003]

Bless your heart, I can relate so much! I feel exactly the same way most days! I've struggled with this illness my whole life, and the older I get, the worse the negative feelings get. I read almost daily on ways to feel better, but haven't yet found the trick. Luckily through this forum at least I don't have to experience loneliness, too.


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[poppadr3w]

Because anxiety and/or depression don't care about "real problems." It can merely me a chemical imbalance that is causing you to feel these sensations, emotions, or lack thereof.

Look at celebrities - they're rich, famous, socially connected to the highest elite. They are on TV, the radio, the big screen and more. Yet some suffer from the deepest forms of depression and anxiety, to the point they commit suicide. Robin Williams - one of the funniest and memorable men in recent history - is a perfect example. Some people are just good at hiding it.

So while you may not have financial issues, family issues, love issues, etc., your lack of happiness is real and problematic, just like anyone else's. You deserve the opportunity to FEEL happiness by seeking assistance, whether it be therapy, medication, other methods, or any combination thereof.

[RelaxYaselfDude]

I'm in the same boat, if it's not one thing I'm worrying about it'll be another. I just try and accept it and get on with life. The more you know about how this condition works the better prepared you'll be to cope with it. Be mindful when you're worrying and tell yourself that's all it is - Worry!

[Bill]

I have everything most people would dream for. A very well paid job, my own house, a brand new car, a loving relationship for 10 years.

And now you're going down a new unfamiliar route with lots of doubts as to whether you're doing the right thing when you feel you have everything to lose if things don't work out.

You're putting yourself under too much pressure and you're feeling the strain.

It's a state of mind. You need to push all your doubts to one side and focus on your new job just one day at a time.

Everyone's nervous before going back to work but you need to view the new job with excitement and opportunity rather than allow negativity to fill you with trepidation. You're simply stressing yourself out needlessly because if you ease the pressure off yourself by not allowing yourself to dwell on all your worries, you'll be absolutely fine.

Think of it in this way -

A race horse stands at the line waiting to race. He dashes off jumping all the fences until he reaches one, makes a mistake and falls. The next time he stands at a new race course's start line, he remembers the fence he fell at and is filled with "what if" it happens again, what if I make a mistake again, have I made the right decision to be allowed to race. He dashes off and all goes well until he sees a fence which makes him remember the fence he fell at. He leaps but makes the same mistake and falls.

The trainer then starts wondering why his horse keeps falling at the same type of fence so he takes him back to the training course to practise on that type of fence. The horse runs up and falls again, but he keeps trying until eventually he succeeds. The horse then has belief in himself that he can jump these fences. With more practise, his self-belief grows until one day he goes to the biggest race of his career, jumps all the fences without a doubt entering his mind and ends up winning the race.

Anxiety is created by worry and fear. If we focus on worries, fear will consume us and anxiety will control our lives but if we build confidence so we have self-belief, anxiety is kept at bay.

Anxiety is also triggered by too much stress whether it's from our work or at home which create worries due to the pressure but if we keep within our stress limits, again anxiety is held at bay.

Anxiety is a state of mind brought on by too much stress causing our lack of confidence or past traumas to create fear and worries but we can learn how to keep it under control if we remember our limits together with having the willpower and determination to not allow anxious thoughts to control us. It may be brought on by stress but the power of beating anxiety is in our state of mind which is why I firmly believe that the majority of us have the ability to learn to cope with anxiety.

As for yourself, just go for it. Ignore your doubts and fears and focus on enjoying your new job so you gain confidence in yourself. Just be aware of your stress limits and not allow yourself to take on too much.

[snowghost57]

As always Bill your post really explain our fears. That is the one thing I learned from you and your examples of how life situations create stress and fear and when we focus on the fear it becomes anxiety. Obsessive thoughts about "what if" we fail again. It is difficult to not to focus on these thoughts. We can change though. I am getting better each day with small activities. If we work on our thoughts and focus on building our self confidence we will be successful!

[worriedsoul]

Thank you bill

Your post really helped me today - I will read it again when I feel anxious

What you said about forget my doubts and fears struck a chord - my counsellor told me I need to let go of the past and move on.

[Bill]

It's very true.

I feel past events can help to explain the present issues to help us work a way forward but if you dwell on the past and analyse it too much it can also end up hindering you from moving forward.

I'm pleased to hear I was of help. Thank you.

As snowghost says, building confidence in our own abilities can really help because when you feel you know what you're doing, you have more self-belief so you fear less so anxiety loses it's power so that we feel stronger to keep moving forward.

Try to turn your negative thoughts that surface into positive thoughts by constantly reminding yourself of all your achievements and capabilities that have helped get you where you are. I think others have seen your abilities which your anxiety tries to hide from you.

[snowghost57]

Worried, another helpful post by Bill is in the GAD forum, look for Anxiety is a symptom. I think that's the title, the story is about a parrot. I copied and pasted it to Word on my lap top so I could read it any time I wanted. You can get through this!

[Bill]

Snowghost, this one I think? (if it works!) http://www.nomorepanic.co.uk/showthread.php?t=74152

Just realised I typed that 7 years ago. Doesn't time fly.

One thing I try to be aware of when I type posts like that is that not everyone will relate to everything within a post like that because it's impossible to generalise anxiety when we're all different but I do feel the general basis is true in many aspects so hopefully like it has for yourself, it will give insight to others too.

Something I found is that when anxiety strikes, for some reason it makes us think we have no idea why we're feeling so ill as if anxiety tries to deceive us. I find if you can uncover the causes it can help us to understand what's happened and that then can help in forming a plan to recover.

I know when I went through my really bad spell I didn't know what to do, I had no one to turn to and I completely lost all hope. If my posts can help others through my own experiences it makes posting all worthwhile so I'm really glad I've managed to do a little good for you.

[worriedsoul]

I'm having anxiety attacks again today. I've found out I can't go back to my old job and I only have until Monday on the sick note.

It's crunch time, leave or go to work and try to put this to bed.