Instrusive unwanted sexual thoughts

[lolafartep]

Hi,

so im 16, never had a boyfriend or anything. also have very bad anxiety
the other day on youtube a video was recommended and it was of a daughter dating her dad and they kissed and I was so revolted. then I just imagined me dating my dad and having, you know..... with him and I was so disgusted and desperately got the thought out of my head.

then at school my teacher talked about how a dad started dating one of his adopted daughters and then again the thoughts of me and my dad came into my head and I brushed them away with anger and disgust. but it wouldn't leave me alone until I thought about it deeply. so I kept thinking about it and the thought seemed normal after a while (AHHHHH GROSS).

I've had a great relationship with my dad, his caring loving and amazing and like a best friend. so these thoughts scare me. they used to disgust me so much and then after a while I got used to it so it seemed normal.

then today It came up again and I was thinking, is this just society putting it into our heads that its wrong to be with your dad when its not? and I kept thinking AM I SEXUALLY IN LOVE WITH MY DAD? THESE THOUGHTS WONT GO AWAY WHATS GOING ON. And I no longer found them intrusive and the thought of having it with him didn't really bother me like it did.

Am I attracted to my dad or is this just my anxiety freaking out? I'm so scared like shouldn't the thought still disturb me? AHHHHH

[Bee84]

Yes, that video is absolutely inappropriate. Unfortunately many young girls may have an inappropriate bond with their fathers with always unwanted touching.

Its understandable that you reacted with disgust to something shocking that you've probably never seen before and then made comparisons to your own relationship with your father. I would personally feel very sad and angered watching that. I'm really glad you have a great and healthy relationship with your dad.

[Bigboyuk]

Terrible I really am angered by such vile stuff on the net (think we have lost our way sadly in society (: ) Why isn't it taken off ( because of free speech on all that ********)
Glad you did find it disgusting, but now you are saying that having these feelings don't bother you You know they aren't normal in any way shape or form. Cheers

[lolafartep]

yes definitely. but did u read what I said how I kept getting those thoughts and suddenly got used to them and they no longer disgust me, am I attracted to my father? can u re read and answer pls I'm desperate

[Bee84]

Those thoughts will never, ever result in you becoming sexually attracted to your father. I'm being real with you.

Could it be that you are imagining yourself in the place of that victims role from perhaps guilt of having had such a wonderful father when other girls weren't so fortunate?

There are many, many people in society who believe that there is nothing wrong with incest (sexual relationships between family members). You are not one of them.

At age 16 we are at an age where we truly realize that kind of abuse exists and how wrong it is and also figuring out our own sexual identity.

When you've grown a lot more into your womanhood and when or if you get a boyfriend/start dating I'm sure everything will fall into place.

[Bigboyuk]

I didn't need to re read it. You haven't watched the video since I hope? They are just thoughts and not feelings, but feel you should perhaps talk to a trusted teacher at school about this, or even your Gp Society is really messed up glad I am not growing up as a child in this world. Cheers

[Bee84]

My dear have you tried mindfulness meditation?

Whenever you try hard to push thoughts away they will only ever become stronger. Allow the uncomfortable thought to pass through on its own without resisting. Breathe very deeply. Then ask yourself "am I sexually attracted to my dad?" Then let your higher mind/god thoughts answer you back. (The answer will be no).

Please talk to a trust worthy female teacher or relative they will understand if you tell them what you told us. You could even show them this thread you posted or write a letter.

[lolafartep]

but I'm so confused now

[Bee84]

I think this will pass on its own as it was just this week it started.

You're young and your character is still developing, figuring out and deciding what's right and what's not. That would be confusing.

If it carries on over the next couple of weeks ask someone else for help.

[Bigboyuk]

I think this will pass on its own as it was just this week it started.

You're young and your character is still developing, figuring out and deciding what's right and what's not. That would be confusing.

If it carries on over the next couple of weeks ask someone else for help. I agree with this, but will also add it needs to be nipped in the bud now, not later :) Cheers

[Bee84]

it needs to be nipped in the bud now, not later :) Cheers

Well said Bigboyuk :)

[Bigboyuk]

Well said Bigboyuk :) What worries me is how many more youngsters have watched videos like this, think it's totally irresponsible of You Tube and the vid should be taken down it's as simple as that it's not entertaining in any way makes my skin crawl, and it's incest :scared15: Cheers

[Bee84]

Yes these videos need to be reported and disallowed to begin with. Abuse is being normalized and younger people especially are left shocked and bewildered after having seen it on such a popular video sharing website.

I was thinking that maybe lolafartep could report the video. Then it may ease her mind as well as help the YouTube community to be safer.

[Bigboyuk]

Yes these videos need to be reported and disallowed to begin with. Abuse is being normalized and younger people especially are left shocked and bewildered after having seen it on such a popular video sharing website.

I was thinking that maybe lolafartep could report the video. Then it may ease her mind as well as help the YouTube community to be safer. Isnt You Tube moderated in any way?? and it's not just youngsters that need protecting adults do too Yes you are right lolafartep 'should' report this to who ever it's reported to. Bet there is many more on there which should be deleted doesn't matter if a few viewers like watching them that's not the point. Cheers

[MyNameIsTerry]

There are similar threads to this which can help you. I've put a fair bit in this one so it will save me time as it addresses your situation:

http://www.nomorepanic.co.uk/showthread.php?t=184847

---------- Post added at 15:27 ---------- Previous post was at 15:20 ----------


Isnt You Tube moderated in any way?? and it's not just youngsters that need protecting adults do too Yes you are right lolafartep 'should' report this to who ever it's reported to. Bet there is many more on there which should be deleted doesn't matter if a few viewers like watching them that's not the point. Cheers

How can got stop it? The only way is to stop the upload. Since the government can't sort out the problems with uploaded media on these sites, there is clearly a problem.

There are adult videos on YouTube. They give a 18 warning. Whilst I'm not defending this video, it's probably in that category?

The OP clicked as we often do out of curiosity. She needs to remember that doesn't mean she is in agreement. We often read things we choose to judge as wrong or Immoral to us, and that's the important part. Being shocked is a natural reaction. Is it so different to reading someone's opinion and disagreeing e.g. homophobic remarks on the bottom of a newspaper column?

[Bigboyuk]

There are similar threads to this which can help you. I've put a fair bit in this one so it will save me time as it addresses your situation:

http://www.nomorepanic.co.uk/showthread.php?t=184847

---------- Post added at 15:27 ---------- Previous post was at 15:20 ----------



How can got stop it? The only way is to stop the upload. Since the government can't sort out the problems with uploaded media on these sites, there is clearly a problem.

There are adult videos on YouTube. They give a 18 warning. Whilst I'm not defending this video, it's probably in that category?

The OP clicked as we often do out of curiosity. She needs to remember that doesn't mean she is in agreement. We often read things we choose to judge as wrong or Immoral to us, and that's the important part. Being shocked is a natural reaction. Is it so different to reading someone's opinion and disagreeing e.g. homophobic remarks on the bottom of a newspaper column? Fair point, will add if you tube didn't allow incestial videos in the first place that would be a start is it moderated in any way like here for eg? Doesn't matter if its listed as 21 and over it's sick and no one should watch this sort of muck sorry but its bad. Exactly don't think she is happy about it. Yes I under stand you last bit and no difference really apart from there is no image/video to watch. Cheers

[MyNameIsTerry]

Fair point, will add if you tube didn't allow incestial videos in the first place that would be a start is it moderated in any way like here for eg? Doesn't matter if its listed as 21 and over it's sick and no one should watch this sort of muck sorry but its bad. Exactly don't think she is happy about it. Yes I under stand you last bit and no difference really apart from there is no image/video to watch. Cheers

There is plenty of incest porn out there on the Internet. Obviously, we are talking adults, not children, therefore it's not abuse. Some people enjoy it, but then some people enjoy being physically harmed for mutual sexual pleasure. We all have our opinions of what we believe is appropriate & what's not when it comes to our own morals & beliefs.

Incest is portrayed on TV. Remember Blue Lagoon?

The important thing here is what we believe. Regardless of whether we agree with Internet content, we all agree incest is wrong (paedophilia is as wrong either way but morally even worse here?) and our morals guide us.

The OP is just going down the intrusive thoughts rabbit hole.

But she can certainly report any inappropriate content. Her parents will certainly have concerns there. If this was a portrayal of paedophilia, definitely report it.

[Mav]

I have had experience with intrusive thoughts for a large part of my life, and this one in paticular has caused me discomfort and funnily enough it's almost exactly the same thought I've been dealing with and it's been triggered by certain events.

Firstly, the sheer discomfort you feel when the thought pops into your head shows that you don't actually feel any of those things. Secondly, a lot of people deal with uncomfortable thoughts but they brush them off immediately rather than obsess over them like sufferers of mental health.

I have learnt to cope with intrusive thoughts by realising it happens to a lot of people and it's simply just a thought. Nothing more than that. You end up killing the initial uncomfortableness of the thought when you stop letting it bother you, otherwise I find that if you keep feeding the thought by thinking about it, it grows more and more to frighten you and cause you anxiety.

I suggest, brush it off as a simple thought.