Apothael
01-05-17, 14:06
Only read this if you have dealt with Solipsism or if you are more resilient to fear inducing thought loops. I don't want anybody else to get this, and I know the irony in that.
I went through some pretty moderate Health Anxiety last month and now that it seems to have died down I think I've latched onto something else to torment me. A group of likely coincidences and misrememberings have brought forth obsession and fear over the reality I now live in. And ironically, the unreality of the situation seems so very real.
I think it snowballed after one night where I looked at my digital clock and it appeared to go backwards in time by a few minutes, several times throughout the night.
Memories that felt concrete are now apparently wrong.
Every time I operate a computer or anything technological I get weird glitches like information being presented twice in Spotify, and Amazon, and I've also noticed the same information being presented twice in real life two brand of store twice within 200 metres at the bottom of my street or receiving two identical pieces of mail from my Dentists - which may be partially explained by the fact I live with my brother but it's still weird.
Objects also seem to move about my room without me touching them.
And people who I've known for a while seem to be doing things that are very off character for them.
This seems like a really small list but there are so many other weird things and contradictions to what I thought I knew all my life that have happened lately and they've given birth to various scary notions like Solipsism or that I'm living in some kind of inconsistent simulation. I'm really susceptible to these lines of thinking, and have fallen into these thought patterns before to a lesser extent.
The problem is when these things happen they seem so real or entirely too coincidental, and I immediately look for rational ways of explaining them and disproving them and sometimes I can't find any. I'd like to just let it go, but I have this irrational fear that the frequency at which these events are happening now means something is going to happen and I have no idea what but I'm terrified. I had my first session with a therapist on Friday and he asked me to look into ACT and work on the notion that my thoughts are separate from me but I don't really know how to do that.
I know how it seems like an oxymoron, coming here for help despite the fact I'm entertaining the idea of Solipsism/Brain in a Vat, but that doesn't making the feeling any less real. I just want to know how others beat this thing. I had it before to a lesser extent and it just went away when I busied myself, but I spend a lot of time on my own now which gives these thoughts time to gestate.
I went through some pretty moderate Health Anxiety last month and now that it seems to have died down I think I've latched onto something else to torment me. A group of likely coincidences and misrememberings have brought forth obsession and fear over the reality I now live in. And ironically, the unreality of the situation seems so very real.
I think it snowballed after one night where I looked at my digital clock and it appeared to go backwards in time by a few minutes, several times throughout the night.
Memories that felt concrete are now apparently wrong.
Every time I operate a computer or anything technological I get weird glitches like information being presented twice in Spotify, and Amazon, and I've also noticed the same information being presented twice in real life two brand of store twice within 200 metres at the bottom of my street or receiving two identical pieces of mail from my Dentists - which may be partially explained by the fact I live with my brother but it's still weird.
Objects also seem to move about my room without me touching them.
And people who I've known for a while seem to be doing things that are very off character for them.
This seems like a really small list but there are so many other weird things and contradictions to what I thought I knew all my life that have happened lately and they've given birth to various scary notions like Solipsism or that I'm living in some kind of inconsistent simulation. I'm really susceptible to these lines of thinking, and have fallen into these thought patterns before to a lesser extent.
The problem is when these things happen they seem so real or entirely too coincidental, and I immediately look for rational ways of explaining them and disproving them and sometimes I can't find any. I'd like to just let it go, but I have this irrational fear that the frequency at which these events are happening now means something is going to happen and I have no idea what but I'm terrified. I had my first session with a therapist on Friday and he asked me to look into ACT and work on the notion that my thoughts are separate from me but I don't really know how to do that.
I know how it seems like an oxymoron, coming here for help despite the fact I'm entertaining the idea of Solipsism/Brain in a Vat, but that doesn't making the feeling any less real. I just want to know how others beat this thing. I had it before to a lesser extent and it just went away when I busied myself, but I spend a lot of time on my own now which gives these thoughts time to gestate.