xlauracx
29-10-04, 22:26
Hey, im 16, in 5th year at a big scottish high school (1600 peeps! it amazes me that number! its just so many!) I suffer from anxiety problems and panic attacks if i sit still too long or have too long 2 think. Ive seen my doctor and been refered somewhere but its takin forever! (and i forgot to ask how long it would take cos i was so worked up at the docs!)
I hadnt been able to go to classes for about 6 weeks or so now, but i am making progress, for example i went to a biology class on weds and a home eccies class on thurs, but today i didnt manage any. My mum and dad dont really understand and i feel horrible because i think they think im just bein akward, but as i hope youll understand it is really difficult.
And last night (thurs) My guidence teacher called the house to speak to my mum, to say he thinks i should drop a subject and that my mum, dad, him, my head of house, the educational psycologist and me were to go to a meeting on tuesday. I really didnt want to and id already told the educ. psyc. tht i really didnt want to, and shed sed, ok, wel find another way you dont have to go. But they went and arranged it anyway! My mum and dad are working so its been called off, but i was so upset and stressed out about both the meeting, and being told to drop a subject, so i didnt sleep well and i think that contributed to me not managing to go to any of my classes today.
But when I couldnt go to a class today and told my mum she was like "but you had made such good progress," and tutted. Why must they put the extra pressure on me? and the other one thats a usual comment is "you'll fail if you dont go back soon, youll fall behind" but i am keeping up with the work in 4 out of 5 subjects, and the fifth the teachers going to catch me up on next week! I just dont know how to make them understand, or feel what i am feeling! If only we could do that freaky friday thing, where they live each others life for a while.
Anyway, i said "if it will amke you happy ill aim for 2 classes a day next week" and she said "theres 6 in a day, its hardly gona help you pass" I just dont know how to make her understand!!!!!!!!!!! And now if i dont go 2 2 a day ill feel really bad, and shell say that i said i was gona, and ill let everyone down. Im so amazingly panicky and stressed just now, for a friday night!!!!!! And i have the whole weekend to go!!!!!!!! Ill calm soon.
Thanks for reading, any advice appreciated of course! xxxx
~Laulz~
I hadnt been able to go to classes for about 6 weeks or so now, but i am making progress, for example i went to a biology class on weds and a home eccies class on thurs, but today i didnt manage any. My mum and dad dont really understand and i feel horrible because i think they think im just bein akward, but as i hope youll understand it is really difficult.
And last night (thurs) My guidence teacher called the house to speak to my mum, to say he thinks i should drop a subject and that my mum, dad, him, my head of house, the educational psycologist and me were to go to a meeting on tuesday. I really didnt want to and id already told the educ. psyc. tht i really didnt want to, and shed sed, ok, wel find another way you dont have to go. But they went and arranged it anyway! My mum and dad are working so its been called off, but i was so upset and stressed out about both the meeting, and being told to drop a subject, so i didnt sleep well and i think that contributed to me not managing to go to any of my classes today.
But when I couldnt go to a class today and told my mum she was like "but you had made such good progress," and tutted. Why must they put the extra pressure on me? and the other one thats a usual comment is "you'll fail if you dont go back soon, youll fall behind" but i am keeping up with the work in 4 out of 5 subjects, and the fifth the teachers going to catch me up on next week! I just dont know how to make them understand, or feel what i am feeling! If only we could do that freaky friday thing, where they live each others life for a while.
Anyway, i said "if it will amke you happy ill aim for 2 classes a day next week" and she said "theres 6 in a day, its hardly gona help you pass" I just dont know how to make her understand!!!!!!!!!!! And now if i dont go 2 2 a day ill feel really bad, and shell say that i said i was gona, and ill let everyone down. Im so amazingly panicky and stressed just now, for a friday night!!!!!! And i have the whole weekend to go!!!!!!!! Ill calm soon.
Thanks for reading, any advice appreciated of course! xxxx
~Laulz~