Terrifed he's gonna kill himself drinking

[Pinkflipflop3]

I'm at my wits end and I really don't know what to do, I suffer from really bad anxiety, My Boyfriend has had pancreatitis 3 times, the 3rd time he got his gallbladder removed and advised to stop drinking, that lasted around 8 months, now he's back on it properly? Any advice please? Sick of making myself ill worrying about it

[Catherine S]

If having his gall bladder removed hasn't stopped him, i'm not sure what anybody here can say to help you to help him stop drinking. Ultimately it has to come from him, but it must be really hard for you to witness. Have you tried the support groups for families of alcoholics connected to AA? They meet to talk about living with an alcoholic so it could be a good starting point for you if there's a group in your area.

ISB x

[ankietyjoe]

I was in a relationship with somebody that abused drugs once.

I realised after a while that my needs had to come before hers, I couldn't make myself ill looking after her any more.

[Fishmanpa]

I was in a relationship with somebody that abused drugs once.

I realised after a while that my needs had to come before hers, I couldn't make myself ill looking after her any more.

Sadly, that's true. Substance abuse and addition is a real illness and needs to be treated like any other illness. As suggested, support groups may be of help. Ultimately, it does have to come from him.

Sending...

Positive thoughts

[snowghost57]

You should seek a local Al-Anon group for support for yourself. One thing about any addiction is that you can't get them sober, they will have have to reach their own bottom on their own. Al-Anon will give you support and advise to help you through this.

[Pinkflipflop3]

Thanks guys, really appreciated! It's just tough knowing I can't fix something and have to sit back and watch it happen. Tough too when he thinks there's not a problem with it xx

[Bigboyuk]

Hi Good advice given here don't go it alone get support these groups are amazing and I went to one for my Gambling addiction and the support is second to none :) You will be made very welcome. Does your Bf ever talk to you why he drinks like he does? Is he not happy in some way I sure he will seek help soon! Good Luck :) and let us know hoe it goes. Cheers

[Pinkflipflop3]

It ended in a massive argument and I haven't actually spoken to him in 3 weeks but it's still making me worry so bad! I feel like I've failed in a way! I even gave up drinking to help him out now that doesn't matter. He uses it for stress relief from his job and to make himself feel better, and I'm sure it stems from loosing his dad at a young age but he won't accept he needs to speak to somebody. He seems to think now his gallbladders gone he will be fine even tho deep down the docs told him to stop

[Bigboyuk]

It ended in a massive argument and I haven't actually spoken to him in 3 weeks but it's still making me worry so bad! I feel like I've failed in a way! I even gave up drinking to help him out now that doesn't matter. He uses it for stress relief from his job and to make himself feel better, and I'm sure it stems from loosing his dad at a young age but he won't accept he needs to speak to somebody. He seems to think now his gallbladders gone he will be fine even tho deep down the docs told him to stopI feel for both of you :) Of course you feel bad but please don't blame your self it's not your fault, he has issues that he needs help with. Does he admit he has a problem? And yes 2 possible very possible things in his life has happened to him so he finds comfort in the booze. Yes his pancreas has been removed, what next liver damage? Seek help for your self for now, and hopefully he will see how it's helping you and join the main AA group :hugs: Cheers

[Mindprison]

Good advice all round here. Just wanted to add that you shouldn't beat yourself up or feel like you've failed in any way. I've dealt with addictions in my family and it's stressful for both the person with the addiction and the others surrounding them. You can only do what you can and nobody can ask for more than that.

Ultimately, the person has to help themselves, all you can do is support them towards the path to recovery.

I sincerely hope things get better for you both soon and that he can find his way on the road to recovery.

[MyNameIsTerry]

This can sadly be the case. Reaching rock bottom is what some unfortunately have to experience.

We had some recovered/recovering substance abusers at the charity walk-ins. One of them said the best thing that happened to him was being sent to prison. He was forced to confront it and he got the help he needed. Now he goes into prisons to talk to others in the same position. He still attends the AA's and the anxiety groups together as whilst there are overlaps, they have their different uses too. He had been dry over 8 years the last I saw him. He got his family back and was happy being a grandad.

I hope your partner finds the strength to see what they are doing and seeks help. What you are doing is great but please look after yourself as it's sadly not always enough and you don't want to make yourself ill in the process.