Do you think anxiety makes you frighten yourself?

[worriedsoul]

I have been thinking over and over about going back to work and frightening myself that it is a huge career fail.

I have looked into other jobs this afternoon that I would prefer but now feel frightened I wouldn't be able to cope with them.

I can't seem to win either way. My only feeling of comfort seems to be being at home on the sick and not having to face these decisions

[Fishmanpa]

Do you think anxiety makes you frighten yourself?

The subject matter of this entire forum confirms that ;)

Positive thoughts

[worriedsoul]

My feelings of being frightened are akin to being on an aeroplane and the engines stalling

[Phuzella]

Yes

[GlassPinata]

Yes. It makes me distrust myself, also, which is a GOOD thing, I suppose, since I usually always assume the worst possible outcome, and it never turns out that way in real life.

People talk about that "sixth sense" or that "Mom sense" or whatever... but I've come to recognize that mine is badly awry.
Thank heavens.

[MyNameIsTerry]

Fear of fear, anxiety. Quite typical of GAD sufferers.

We then start to avoid situations we fear and this just shrinks your bubble and you lose your confidence, self esteem, etc.

I'm not afraid of the situations that cause my fear - not in the slightest. I am afraid of how they make me feel.

[snowghost57]

Fear of fear, anxiety. Quite typical of GAD sufferers.

We then start to avoid situations we fear and this just shrinks your bubble and you lose your confidence, self esteem, etc.

I'm not afraid of the situations that cause my fear - not in the slightest. I am afraid of how they make me feel.

I agree Terry, any suggestions on how to increase our bubble, confidence and self-esteem?

[MyNameIsTerry]

I agree Terry, any suggestions on how to increase our bubble, confidence and self-esteem?

With the bubble, the more you retreat the worse it gets. You then have additional battles in fighting your way back with something pushing against you even harder. But retreat is sometimes needed to get a break from the pressure when it's really bad so sometimes what choice do we have?

So, increasing that bubble must be about the opposite. Do more, build more confidence since that will increase self esteem. Look to what can make you feel fullfilled as this again helps with self esteem.

It's exposure that seems to work for this but it's hard.

I knew the minute I gave in and went off work I would just see my anxiety focus on everything else. It did. I became housebound for a short time. Then came clawing my way back out of that and the fear involved. If you can not go there in the first place, it's better.

Learning through whatever methods to become more comfortable in more situations will help.

[Bill]

Hello Terry,
I haven't noticed a thread but did you see that programme on BBC1 about Stress and ways to cope with it?

There was one bit I found interesting that I didn't know and that was when the presenter was told she had to (I've forgotten what you call it!:blush:) hold on to handle attached to a rope from a tall tree while she travelled to the ground. She said she felt all the symptoms of stress but the professor told her to say to herself "I feel excited".

The reason was that the feelings of excitement are the same as the feelings anxiety causes so it's easier to change the negative thought into a positive thought rather than say the opposite by telling yourself to be calm. It made sense to me.

It made me think that like in worriedsoul's position, instead of focusing on the fears, focus on the job as an opportunity - a new venture to get excited about. Think of it in a positive way and make the stress work for him.

Did you see the programme? I wondered what you thought. Thank you.

(Just found the thread.)

[flipp]

I look in the mirror and get frightened,which brings on my anxiety.:mad:.

[Bill]

Why does the sight of beauty in your mirror cause you fear?:winks::)

[flipp]

Just taking the piss out of myself Bill.xx.:D.

[MyNameIsTerry]

Hello Terry,
I haven't noticed a thread but did you see that programme on BBC1 about Stress and ways to cope with it?

There was one bit I found interesting that I didn't know and that was when the presenter was told she had to (I've forgotten what you call it!:blush:) hold on to handle attached to a rope from a tall tree while she travelled to the ground. She said she felt all the symptoms of stress but the professor told her to say to herself "I feel excited".

The reason was that the feelings of excitement are the same as the feelings anxiety causes so it's easier to change the negative thought into a positive thought rather than say the opposite by telling yourself to be calm. It made sense to me.

It made me think that like in worriedsoul's position, instead of focusing on the fears, focus on the job as an opportunity - a new venture to get excited about. Think of it in a positive way and make the stress work for him.

Did you see the programme? I wondered what you thought. Thank you.

(Just found the thread.)

Hi Bill,

I'm afraid I missed it. I've seen the threads and it appears to have been less than popular.

It's interesting about excitement for a few reasons I can think off.

Firstly, I've had times where I've been excited and then worried those feelings will somehow go too far and become panic. The result was predictable as my anxiety shoehorned it's way back in to ruin a better day.

I found this is part of recovery, learning to go with the flow rather than question what seemed like new feelings because I had got so used to being anxious all the time. I've spoken to others on here and at walk-in groups who've also experienced this.

Secondly, we get our feelings & sensations quite mixed up. And the subconscious likes to make associations based on what we feed it. Very soon that normal elevated heart rate from exercise, or just walking up the stairs, becomes a trigger.

Finally, whilst it may have been received poorly in the threads I think what has been missed is the concept of changing our thoughts about the perceived fear. Negative reactions only feed the cycle and whether you prefer CBT or Claire Weekes, both try to get you to change this.

Change to positive/neutral reactions works. It certainly does with intrusive thoughts and is used to treat them. That might be CBT or even something like Mindfulness but the basic message is the same in that your subconscious learns it's wasting it's time sending the "data" for a decision on what to do because it learns the scenario is irrelevant.

They mentioned excitement, I've seen others say laughing at these thoughts worked. The basic message is the same. And couldn't we argue that it is turning towards your fear and embracing it in the spirit of acceptance?

We know desensitisation works.

So, perhaps it was pitched at helping people apply a more healthy way in dealing with it and it's perhaps more basic because of this?

I think you are right about changing focus. It's not easy but it can work. Positive thinking is very important to recovery. My dad recovered from depression over 40 years ago and when talking to him he told me to change how I viewed things and be more positive. There was no therapy, Claire Weekes, etc in his day but the same beliefs can be seen.

A recovered panic sufferer who has left the forum talked about the power of wanting and how his therapist had him work on this. It can allow us to shift the balance.

I did this to resolve some hard to shift compulsions. I still did them but told myself I was choosing to do so and would hold onto the compulsion longer (touching compulsion) until I was ready to stop, not because my fear was driving me. This helped me then work on elimination the ERP way.

I've felt empowerment at times and the charity I used to attend had empowerment as one of their 12 steps to wellness. It makes sense as feel helpless & hopeless at times.

[Bill]

Thank you Terry,
Something I always find interesting in your posts is your depth of knowledge on the subject which is why I was also interested in hearing your thoughts about the programme.

For me, the programme did feel like a basic survival guide to day to day stress. I think severe anxiety is much more complex for them to attempt to cover but I always think any raising in awareness about mental conditions and illnesses is good because I think educating people will hopefully help to ease the stigma so people feel more able to talk which is so important in recovery.

In my experience, I feel any true help has been rarely offered so I feel I've had to learn a lot for myself by learning to understand my thoughts that trigger my anxiety then like you say, counter those negative thoughts with positive ones. I think though when I went through my really bad spell, I just don't think I was well enough to listen to any therapies, even though the help I did receive was extremely poor. I think the one thing that I felt I really needed that would have helped me I just couldn't find and that was just someone to talk to who would say to me, it's ok, you will get through this because I'm here for you. I had no one I felt I could turn to.

I must admit there is still one thing I just can't seem to learn to cope with no matter what I try and that is, how to cope with emotional pain. The only way I know is to try to focus my mind on other things but in a way, I feel like I'm just keeping it at bay because sometimes something will happen and it all comes back until I push it back in it's box.

Anyway, that's going off the subject really.

Thank you for replying. I appreciate it. I knew you would have something interesting to say. I've found that's how I've helped myself over the years by teaching myself based on my own thoughts and what I feel I needed to do, and by listening to people like you who know lots of things I don't. For instances, there are terms and some therapies I've not heard of before but you explain the technicalities. I think you could probably say I've learnt like your dad did (although I'm sure I'm not as old as him) because although I had access to CBT etc, I was never taught how to use it properly because looking back the therapists were just hopeless. Their behaviour towards me and some of the things they said were flippant and inappropriate. I ended up having no faith in them at all but I would like to stress, that was 20 years ago and I've since met some brilliant therapists who really knew their business.