wat143
04-05-17, 21:49
Hi everyone. Long time lurker first time poster.
I have had OCD and anxiety since around the age of 4 (I'm now 24). In fact my mum says she doesn't remember when I've not worried about things!
Around a year ago a moved out from my parents and since then I have been gradually becoming more and more anxious. I have managed to book a doctors appointment but it's not for a few weeks, hence why I am here to discuss my main fear.
I've worked in a Chemistry Lab for around 5 years. We work with a variety of chemicals but have quite a few things that are toxic, carcinogenic etc. It has got to the point where I feel like I can't even go in there as I imagine all sorts of scenarios - hazardous chemicals coming home on my shoes and getting carried around my house. Things getting stuck in my jumper or clothes and being brought into the house or dropping into my food. I also think about all the mistakes I've possibly made in the past (e.g. if I've accidently disposed of something in the wrong place, when there's been a drop of something on my gloves or glassware that I haven't rinsed properly and smelt it, accidently opening a bottle outside the fume cupboard etc). We used to have a sulfur waste container and each time we opened the cupboard we would smell it (it's been moved now) and I keep obsessing that these exposures may now have caused me cancer. That is just 1 worry and i have many more I keep going over in my mind. Over and over. Or things we have always used on the bench being reclassified or labelled as carcinogenic E.g. even our glassware washer detergent we discovered to be carcinogenic. I constantly question myself about things I may have weighed out on the bench in the past instead of the fume hood, or not washing my hands before leaving the lab.
Even when I wash my hands I worry about the taps, like if someone had touched them with gloves on and now I've touched it to wash my hands. Then I imagine chemicals getting onto my bag or phone which I bring home and then touch things in my house which then feels contaminated.
Basically I just don't know where to go from here. I am upsetting my boyfriend with my constant questioning for reassurance that every is safe. He also works in the labs and is not concerned. Last night I couldn't even get in bed as my sock touched my pajamas which I had walked on the floor with which is where I had walked with my shoes that had been at work!! I had to wash them all.
I love my job when I'm not so panicking and I am told I am very good at it.
I know I have other issues such as panicking about HPV (I never went for my jab due to needle anxiety and am now panicking I have cervical cancer - I am going to the doctor to ask for the jab also).
When I drive I always worry I've accidently been speeding and i will get a ticket.
Does anyone know if I am actually at risk here, or are this scenarios highly far fetched? To me they feel like real risks. My boyfriend says there is no risk but it is not 100% and therefore I panic. Does that make sense?
Thank you for reading my post!!
I have had OCD and anxiety since around the age of 4 (I'm now 24). In fact my mum says she doesn't remember when I've not worried about things!
Around a year ago a moved out from my parents and since then I have been gradually becoming more and more anxious. I have managed to book a doctors appointment but it's not for a few weeks, hence why I am here to discuss my main fear.
I've worked in a Chemistry Lab for around 5 years. We work with a variety of chemicals but have quite a few things that are toxic, carcinogenic etc. It has got to the point where I feel like I can't even go in there as I imagine all sorts of scenarios - hazardous chemicals coming home on my shoes and getting carried around my house. Things getting stuck in my jumper or clothes and being brought into the house or dropping into my food. I also think about all the mistakes I've possibly made in the past (e.g. if I've accidently disposed of something in the wrong place, when there's been a drop of something on my gloves or glassware that I haven't rinsed properly and smelt it, accidently opening a bottle outside the fume cupboard etc). We used to have a sulfur waste container and each time we opened the cupboard we would smell it (it's been moved now) and I keep obsessing that these exposures may now have caused me cancer. That is just 1 worry and i have many more I keep going over in my mind. Over and over. Or things we have always used on the bench being reclassified or labelled as carcinogenic E.g. even our glassware washer detergent we discovered to be carcinogenic. I constantly question myself about things I may have weighed out on the bench in the past instead of the fume hood, or not washing my hands before leaving the lab.
Even when I wash my hands I worry about the taps, like if someone had touched them with gloves on and now I've touched it to wash my hands. Then I imagine chemicals getting onto my bag or phone which I bring home and then touch things in my house which then feels contaminated.
Basically I just don't know where to go from here. I am upsetting my boyfriend with my constant questioning for reassurance that every is safe. He also works in the labs and is not concerned. Last night I couldn't even get in bed as my sock touched my pajamas which I had walked on the floor with which is where I had walked with my shoes that had been at work!! I had to wash them all.
I love my job when I'm not so panicking and I am told I am very good at it.
I know I have other issues such as panicking about HPV (I never went for my jab due to needle anxiety and am now panicking I have cervical cancer - I am going to the doctor to ask for the jab also).
When I drive I always worry I've accidently been speeding and i will get a ticket.
Does anyone know if I am actually at risk here, or are this scenarios highly far fetched? To me they feel like real risks. My boyfriend says there is no risk but it is not 100% and therefore I panic. Does that make sense?
Thank you for reading my post!!