I can`t deal with the guilt

[BlueEyesShining]

How to deal with the guilt when you did not have done something that you could?

I was late because no one told me she would be there.. I didn`t go to talk to her. And I needed to.

Deep inside I know that it is not my fault but I keep asking myself what If I did the opposite thing?

What if this was the last time I could talk to this person. But I missed my chance?

I am crying my eyes out.

Please help:weep:

[Fishmanpa]

With respect... that's pretty cryptic. Can you elaborate?

Positive thoughts

[snowghost57]

I'm a little confused as well. Did this person pass and you didn't get to talk to them?

[BlueEyesShining]

Oh well,now I am reading what I have written and I agree it is pretty confusing, I was in a really bad place last night.

The person didnt pass away, luckily. But I think this was one of my last chances to see her because she wont be here. I wont see her for a long time.

I will try to talk to her today, and tomorrow.

I am so afraid, this guilt is overwhelming, what If i dont get to see her anymore?

I swear I was doing the best I could in the moment and I am trying to convince myself that I did not have the information that she will go to that restaurant, so I just stayed home...

[ana]

Could you not talk to this person,explain yourself and apologise? I'm sure she would understand that it was an h9nest mistake. Meno male scusarsi :winks:

[BlueEyesShining]

Could you not talk to this person,explain yourself and apologise? I'm sure she would understand that it was an h9nest mistake. Meno male scusarsi :winks:


The thing is, I don`t have nothing to apologise for.
I am actually angry to myself because I wasn`t there to see her.

The thing is, I did not have done nothing bad actaully, but I feel unbearable guilt... for my absecnce
It is hard to explain..

[KeeKee]

I think I get what you mean. I feel guilt a lot too. Sometimes others say or do something bad and I'm the one who feels guilty, even though I myself have done nothing wrong.
Do you experience guilt a lot for other things too?

[BlueEyesShining]

I think I get what you mean. I feel guilt a lot too. Sometimes others say or do something bad and I'm the one who feels guilty, even though I myself have done nothing wrong.
Do you experience guilt a lot for other things too?

As a person struggling with anorexia nervosa, I feel guilty even for eating, or when I miss an exercise session.

I can`t stop crying for the thing that (did not) happened last night. And that `s the thing I feel the most regret for-my missed chance.

Hopefully I will see my loved one tomorrow
And I will get to spend some time with her, or else I will go crazy :-(

[snowghost57]

Are you seeking professional help for your eating disorder? I seriously don't think you will go crazy if you don't see your friend. Happiness and sanity must come from within. I suggest reading some posts on the GAD boards, there is a wealth of information there. Take care of yourself so you can be a better friend!

[ana]

Can't you tell her you feel guilty and that you'd like to see her? I hope you find a way to get in contact and see her.

[BlueEyesShining]

Are you seeking professional help for your eating disorder? I seriously don't think you will go crazy if you don't see your friend. Happiness and sanity must come from within. I suggest reading some posts on the GAD boards, there is a wealth of information there. Take care of yourself so you can be a better friend!

Yes, I am seeking help but I have been struggling with anorexia almost three years so it is not so easy...

[Bike Rider]

Hi BlueEyes Shining.

Everyone has at some time or another, the "What if" syndrome over something or another.

If you didn't know this person would be at the restaurant, how can anything be your fault or guilt? also, why didn't this friend tell you they would be there.

This is a bit of anxiety creeping in, coupled with your eating and exercise phobias. I have been in the same condition, not with an eating disorder, but with the "beating oneself up" for not doing something.

I would have a chat with your Doctor, tell him how you feel and see what he thinks.