niknakx
07-05-17, 07:31
Hi my name is Nikki I'm a 23 year old female, I've been having a crippling fear of ALS/MND for about a month and I am absolutely at my breaking point.
It all started when I was driving home from work one day and I noticed the muscle below my elbow felt very tired and weak, almost like I had been lifting weights beforehand. I ignored it and went on with my life. I kept noticing how tired my arm felt for about a week but ignored it, until I made the dreaded mistake of having a quick search on Google, and you can all imagine the fears it put in my head. One of the first things I saw was a story about a man who noticed his right arm was weaker than his left and that was the first sign.
From that point onwards my life has been absolute hell. I have been to the doctors twice to talk about my arm, the first doctor did a few neuro tests and said he couldn't find anything wrong and to come back in about two weeks. Two weeks later I'm back at the doctors because the symptoms have gotten weirder and worse. I started getting twitching up and down my arm, the weirdest thing being it is always worse first thing in the morning, immediately after I wake up, even from a 10 minute nap my forearm feels numb, weak and almost like it doesn't belong to me. As the day goes on it and my mood get better, but then I fall asleep and the symptoms and stress start over again the next day. The doctor sends me to have some blood tests because she wants to see if I'm deficient in anything. She also put my on Citalopram 10mg to try and calm down my anxiety.
My anxiety is so bad that I have no appetite, I've lost 10 pounds in two weeks, I am having trouble sleeping, my stomach is a mess and I vomit multiple times most mornings. I literally can't be happy because I'm my mind I am already dying and all my family and friends are going to see my die a horrible death. It's all I can think about and it's affecting almost every part of my life. I've also been referred to a mental health team who are going to call me for a phone assessment in just over a week.
I've been to see a chiropractor 4 times and he can't figure it what is wrong either with my arm so he's referring me to have some nerve tests done. No treatment I've had has made it better and I just feel like it's getting worse. I keep feeling like my grip is getting weaker in my hand but I might just be imagining that.
I've had 3 professionals now say it might be a form of RSI but it doesn't seem to fit the symptoms. At this point I'm debating just paying out of my own pocket to go private because I know the wait times for the NHS are insanely long and I can't go on like this anymore. I'd rather been a bit poorer and have my mental stability back than know that I'll have to be like this for another 2-4 months.
I'm so miserable and I can't stand how my worry is making my family so concerned. I feel so guilty for being this way and so stupid, but no matter what I do I can't calm down. I just don't know what to do anymore.
It all started when I was driving home from work one day and I noticed the muscle below my elbow felt very tired and weak, almost like I had been lifting weights beforehand. I ignored it and went on with my life. I kept noticing how tired my arm felt for about a week but ignored it, until I made the dreaded mistake of having a quick search on Google, and you can all imagine the fears it put in my head. One of the first things I saw was a story about a man who noticed his right arm was weaker than his left and that was the first sign.
From that point onwards my life has been absolute hell. I have been to the doctors twice to talk about my arm, the first doctor did a few neuro tests and said he couldn't find anything wrong and to come back in about two weeks. Two weeks later I'm back at the doctors because the symptoms have gotten weirder and worse. I started getting twitching up and down my arm, the weirdest thing being it is always worse first thing in the morning, immediately after I wake up, even from a 10 minute nap my forearm feels numb, weak and almost like it doesn't belong to me. As the day goes on it and my mood get better, but then I fall asleep and the symptoms and stress start over again the next day. The doctor sends me to have some blood tests because she wants to see if I'm deficient in anything. She also put my on Citalopram 10mg to try and calm down my anxiety.
My anxiety is so bad that I have no appetite, I've lost 10 pounds in two weeks, I am having trouble sleeping, my stomach is a mess and I vomit multiple times most mornings. I literally can't be happy because I'm my mind I am already dying and all my family and friends are going to see my die a horrible death. It's all I can think about and it's affecting almost every part of my life. I've also been referred to a mental health team who are going to call me for a phone assessment in just over a week.
I've been to see a chiropractor 4 times and he can't figure it what is wrong either with my arm so he's referring me to have some nerve tests done. No treatment I've had has made it better and I just feel like it's getting worse. I keep feeling like my grip is getting weaker in my hand but I might just be imagining that.
I've had 3 professionals now say it might be a form of RSI but it doesn't seem to fit the symptoms. At this point I'm debating just paying out of my own pocket to go private because I know the wait times for the NHS are insanely long and I can't go on like this anymore. I'd rather been a bit poorer and have my mental stability back than know that I'll have to be like this for another 2-4 months.
I'm so miserable and I can't stand how my worry is making my family so concerned. I feel so guilty for being this way and so stupid, but no matter what I do I can't calm down. I just don't know what to do anymore.