New here - Advice?

[Cbarnett213]

So I have been dealing with stress my whole life, I am a 29-year-old man that's had a lapse of anxiety issues.

Two-three times I went to the counselor, and hearing them honestly pisses me off. I understand from them that maybe I need to "figure it out myself", but there isn't anything trauma-inducing in my life to be causing it. I just have it, period, and I don't know why there needs to be a reason. Yet, every time it's trying to figure out if I have daddy issues, child abuse, or some history that's causing it when really there is no history or reason.

Also several times I been trying to tell people that I been feeling "numb" to sensations, feelings, or overall enjoyment. My two biggest emotions are panic and neutral and I hate it.

So enough babbling, I know there are others who have been through with it, I really don't want to take any medicines, but what have you guys done to cope/lower your anxiety?

Edit: Also want to add that at times during work, it get so bad that my brain literally locks up and I can't think or act on the next course of action.

[Cakelady]

Hi. I completely get where you are coming from, I have had counsellors in the past dismiss me for the same reason, because there was nothing that had happened they were bemused & even had been told theres nothing they can do to help!
I completely understand the medication line, I know for some it really can help but there are other routes too. Talking therapies are good, not trying to go over the past to look for reasons but working with the symptoms now, things like cbt & dbt. I'm in the UK so not sure how you access therapies over in the US, hopefully another NMP member can help. Very best wishes Jacqui x

[snowghost57]

Welcome CB. First of all you need to learn how to deal with your stress. Stress leads to anxiety, anxiety leads to depression. Have you tried a CBT therapist? Cognitive Behavior Therapy, where the therapist talks to YOU, not about your past. I discuss what is going on, my feelings and my therapist gives me suggestions. The past is the past she told me and what I need to focus on is right now, what is in front of me. Not the past or not the future. I took mediation during a major meltdown, and it helped me, but left me in a fog, so I'm learning to deal with life without them.

We can get better. It can be done. When you mind locks up at work, have you tried to center yourself and do some deep breathing? Calm your mind down so you can think of what the next step is. Feel free to pm me if you would like. One time my therapist had me wear a rubber band, anytime my thoughts were spinning I was to snap the rubber band to make me come back to the present, it really helped.

[Bill]

Your anxiety is simply telling you that your mind has reached it's stress limit and it can't take in any more, That's why it locks up because it's feeling overloaded.

Meds can ease the anxious feelings but to cure the anxiety you need to look at your lifestyle and the stresses that are causing your anxiety so that you make a plan to reduce them.

For instance, if you're feeling stressed out by workload, look at ways of prioritising your load or delegating so you don't attempt to take on everything at once.

If you can't do anything about the workload, allow yourself timeouts for your mind and body to take a break but during those time outs make sure you find somewhere to chill out and relax.

At home, look at your routine. Give yourself chill out time before you go to bed. If you're overloaded at work but don't give yourself time to relax at home, you'll burn out and anxiety will take over.

Find enjoyable interests and hobbies to take your mind away from work worries.

If you think of it like running a marathon and your body feels so worn out that you'll collapse if you keep pushing yourself and compare that with your mind running a marathon at work and at home, the end result is the same unless you give your mind or body recovery time.

There is one other type of stress in the workplace though and that's what I call boredom stress. Instead of being overloaded with too much to fit in, you find yourself with too little to keep your mind occupied. This means the mind will wander onto negative thoughts and those thoughts will be based on worries and fears which result in causing stress.

In other words, the mind is best suited to a happy medium. Enough to keep it interested without being overloaded. You could say, make sure you attempt to strike the right balance mixed with business and time for pleasure to keep your mind balanced and happy.

You will find if you can ease your stress, your anxiety will ease too.

[Hollow]

Hi,

Might be worth trying some type of meditation like Mindfulness, ive read that quite a few people have had success with it and it does have some scientific research behind it.

[poppadr3w]

Hey friend,

We are close in age (I am 28, 29 in July of this year).

I am not a medical professional, but I believe that some people have anxiety, well... just because. Maybe there are even underlying stressors that you're dealing with that you do not even realize. For me, some of my stressors were right in front of my eyes and, at the time, they didn't bother me. I think subconsciously maybe they did and it just collected over the years. One day other stressors collected on top of it and ignited this pile of crap, and I've had more profound anxiety since.

My anxiety comes and goes. It is much better than years ago, but I still have bad times and moments. For example, today I feel pretty crappy overall. I am fatigued, anxious, feel out of it, etc. All of that fun stuff lol.

I use a multifaceted approach to help diminish my anxiety. I do take medication and see a therapist once every other week, but I also eat a relatively decent diet (I could do a lot better, but I am not eating fast food or junk food daily, for example), I exercise (to the best of my ability at the moment due to a recent wrist surgery), take supplements (Vitamin D, Fish Oil), etc.

If you want more information on exercise, I do write for a blog that I'll advertise here only as I deem necessary. It's really geared towards people with anxiety/depression. The URL is www.anxietypress.com

I hope you find your way and start to feel better. Any questions? Shoot me a message.