Can't stop the thoughts/worry that is constantly spinning around in my mind.

[Liquid]

I've had this issue on and off for about a year or so now, but it's come to a peak. It's anxiety over anxiety and my thoughts are constantly analyzing the way I feel and it drives me insane. It feels like whenever my mind is idle, my mind just spins in a circle about the anxiety, the way I feel and how I don't know how to change this or how to fix the thoughts.

I'm losing hope because it's becoming increasingly difficult to focus or concentrate on anything else that usually takes my mind off of it. And I've also depression setting in that makes me feel very uninterested in things that I usually enjoy, which makes it even more difficult to concentrate or become invested in anything else.

It just feels like something is broken in my brain, because I cannot seem to stop this worrying cycle. I've tried fighting the thoughts, reassuring myself, challenging the thoughts and also simply being alright with them being present, but it always eventually beats me in mental fortitude.

I'm to the point now that I feel like I will never be able to rid myself of this anxiety and the constant thoughts about it. I have anxiety over the fact that I have anxiety over my thoughts, it's a disgusting loop. I think this lack of hope has also contributed heavily to my ability to manage the stress over this.

I don't want to take medication for this issue, I would rather beat this on my own somehow, as I have a severe phobia of taking medications and simply don't enjoy the way they make me feel.

My Psychologist is pretty worthless. I've discussed these issues with her and she never has much to say to me other than "We need to start on a treatment plan, sound good to you?" Which always boils down to her telling me to do deep breathing and not much else. She hasn't in anyway discussed with me why my brain is doing what its doing or how the anxiety is impacting me, how to assess or treat it, etc. I feel like a quota.

[snowghost57]

I have the same issues, worry and the constant what if. After a major meltdown I tried meds and they aren't for me. I am seeing a CBT therapist and that helps. Reading this forum is a big help as I realize I'm not alone. I would recommend reading posts on the GAD board, there is a lot of helpful information there. Feel free to pm me if you would like. I'm in Virginia.

[Bill]

I think this lack of hope has also contributed heavily to my ability to manage the stress over this.

If you have a lack of hope, you'll have no confidence so you'll feel depressed, so you'll feel trapped with no means of escape, so you'll feel stressed, so you'll feel constantly anxious...

So let's try to give you some hope.

You've mentioned the following -
I've tried fighting the thoughts, reassuring myself, challenging the thoughts and also simply being alright with them being present, but it always eventually beats me in mental fortitude.

I know you know these don't work but I'll elaborate a little as to the reasons.

Fighting thoughts - means you tense up. Tension creates stress. Stress causes anxiety.

Reassuring yourself - only works if you Really believe in what you're trying to say to yourself but if you have no confidence, you won't have any confidence in what you're telling yourself.

Challenging thoughts - means you're engaging with them which means you're trying to talk to a lion whilst terrified it's going to eat you at any moment. I know they say you should but for me, I can't see that working either.

Simply being alright with them being present - that's like a bully knocking on your door, inviting them in and whilst they sit in the corner, you're saying it's ok for them to sit there knowing they make you anxious simply with them being present.

I know also you've said about distracting yourself which normally works. I agree it does but when you're feeling so anxious all the time, it can feel really difficult to focus your mind on something else.

You also say your psychologist hasn't touched on causes etc and my feeling is because you're in a stressed state, it'll make you analyse all the reasons which will fuel your anxiety.

However, see if any of the following helps -

Ask yourself what's going on in your life at the present which might be increasing your stress levels. If not, has anything in particular occurred recently that has worried you or have you been gradually struggling until things have become too much. Whatever the thought that comes to mind, something has stressed you that has pushed you over the limit and when this happens your anxiety gets triggered because you feel you can't escape from that stress, which often focuses on health, and your worry cycle begins.

So, going back to how you tackle those thoughts, there is one thing you've not mentioned. You remember about letting the bully in and accepting it as being ok with it being present - well, try not opening the door. That doesn't mean trying to block or lock it out though. It means trying to ignore it's knocking on your door because it will eventually give up when it thinks no one's home.

This maybe what that the psychologist is thinking. She maybe trying to suggest to you to not to engage with it because anxiety feeds on Any attention you give it.

However, anxiety also feeds on stress so if distracting isn't working, you first need to learn techniques how to keep as relaxed as possible. Try doing something physical, like a sport, walking or running so you don't think about what your body is doing. Any form of exercise is good. Sometimes just sitting trying to focus on something isn't enough. However, computer games are a good technique.

The most important thing to bear in mind though is the more you think about anxious thoughts and how you're feeling, the more you'll keep your anxiety alive so the trick is to find something so enjoyable that you give your mind a break from thinking about anxiety all the time. If you can learn to ignore anxiety, anxiety learns to ignore you...and That can be done so with practise there is Always hope.

[Ljj44577]

I've struggled with anxiety back in late 2016. I think that overcoming anxiety is a tough and complex process to overcome. If you want, you can try calling a suicide hotline. You can call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline in so you can find someone on a different line to talk to. They will try to help you feel better. I understand your situation. Even if your anxiety is tough on you, there are people like me that understand.

Please continues reaching out for help.

I'm sorry if this didn't help.