Hi - new & struggling

[Summer Breeze]

Hi,
(Why did I give myself a name that sounds like an air freshener, huh...)
I am realising that I need help. I am SO scared all the time (when I am not having hideous intrusive thoughts - I guess my head is versatile).
I am very frightened of ageing and also very frightened of dying. I am fast approaching a milestone birthday (with the multitude of problems I have had over the years, the fact I have made it this far is really something). I look in the mirror and see how I am ageing. I berate myself for being so shallow. (I know that ageing is a privilege denied to so many, and off I go again with the self flagellation)
I am single with no children, and I come from quite a "Husbands and wives" environment which can be hard. I get panicked when I see the life insurance commercials on TV. (It can be really exhausting to be me)
I have struggled with OCD and intrusive thoughts for many years.
I think I need a hug (or a shake?) but I have to be strong.
Thank you to anyone who has read this. xx

[venusbluejeans]

Hiya Summer Breeze and welcome to NMP :welcome:

Why not take a look at our articles on our home page, they contain a wealth of information and are a great starting place for your time on the forum.

I hope you find the as site helpful and informative as I have and that you get the help and support you need here and hope that you meet a few friends along the way :yesyes:

[Bigboyuk]

Hi Summer Breeze What a nice username you have :) Sorry that you have struggled so long with your problems, why though? Has your Dr helped in any way and are you receiving any therapy? Welcome aboard :)

[Summer Breeze]

Thank you for the messages venusbluejeans and Bigboyuk :)

(I was having a very wobbly day yesterday! It definitely helped me to post and thanks again for reading and the kind words)

Bigboyuk, you name it, chances are I have tried it... Medication, counselling, alternative therapies... I was taking Sertraline until the beginning of this year but a combination of weight issues (aaargh, caveat: I can't say for sure that the Sertraline was messing with my weight) and the fact that the intrusive thoughts were still (very) intrusive made me stop taking them.

It hasn't been TOO bad today - work and exercise helps.

Lots of love,
SB (ok, now the "Summer Breeze" song is in my head...)

[Bigboyuk]

Thank you for the messages venusbluejeans and Bigboyuk :)

(I was having a very wobbly day yesterday! It definitely helped me to post and thanks again for reading and the kind words)

Bigboyuk, you name it, chances are I have tried it... Medication, counselling, alternative therapies... I was taking Sertraline until the beginning of this year but a combination of weight issues (aaargh, caveat: I can't say for sure that the Sertraline was messing with my weight) and the fact that the intrusive thoughts were still (very) intrusive made me stop taking them.

It hasn't been TOO bad today - work and exercise helps.

Lots of love,
SB (ok, now the "Summer Breeze" song is in my head...) Hi SB
Well you may have tried many things, the thing is never give up that's the key here :) Some meds can cause weight problems, so always best to go back to your dr tell them your concerns and ask for some thing else to help you! Have you tried Reiki some times s combination of different therapies can work too Glad you weren't too bad today :) Take care Cheers

[snowghost57]

I was just like you. I tried the meds therapy and it didn't work. I did take medication a few months ago and I just couldn't deal with it. I am sticking with my therapy. Today's therapist is more proactive, not the typical take notes and shake their head. My therapist told me we all age at the same rate of speed. You should try finding a therapist you can relate too and keep posting here when you feel the need.:welcome:

[Summer Breeze]

Hi Bigboyuk. I hope you are well. Yes, I tried Reiki back in the day. (I could write some kind of book on everything I have tried... Tolstoy may look at the length with awe, heh) I think I wanted the meds to stop the intrusive thoughts altogether (stop thinking, stop thoughts!) and that obviously didn't happen... I currently take a truckload of Rescue Remedies, drink chamomile tea by the gallon and go to the gym, but I can certainly never say never to taking the meds again...

Thank you for the reply snowghost57 and very best wishes to you.

*hugging kind people in thread and on forum*