terrified

[susie1]

please can someone help me. I have had a lot of pins and needles and feeling rubbish. My GP checked my vitamin B12 levels and results are back with a raised cholesterol . I'm ok with that but my alkaline phosphatase is also slightly raised. She said they will retest in a month and it may be due to the amatriptiline and citalopram I am taking. But I have been on citalopram for a long time and had the same test a year ago and it was normal. Like an idiot I have googled and it comes up with bone or pancreatic cancer. I am in a state of meltdown. I am wobbly, hot, can't eat. how do I get through the next 4 weeks before my blood is retested. I just don't know what to do? has anyone out there had this? Can anyone help? please? feeling really desperate

[Melonpony]

Ok, I haven't been through this, but I have a friend that did. He was terrified bc all of his blood results came up as definitely cancer via Dr Google. He's fine. No cancer, no issues. In fact, after weeks and many rounds of blood work, he's fine. Well, he has anxiety and depression...but no physical disease.
4 weeks is a long time. What I would do is chunk it up. See if you can make it 10 hours waiting. Then 12. Then 24. Then another 24. Reward yourself with something for successfully getting through small chunks of time.
How to get through?
Distraction (activities, movies, walks, etc). Mantras(I am healthy. I am calm. I am alive. I am breathing. I can do this). Deep breathing (belly out on in breath, belly in on exhale). Insight is a GREAT APP w guided meditations. It's free. I highly recommend it.


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[susie1]

Thankyou for replying. I am in such a mess. I cannot see how I am going to get through the next 2 hours lets alone 4 weeks at the moment. I feel like my world has imploded and I can't see how to cope

[Melonpony]

I know how you feel. When I was younger, my boyfriend at the time contracted hepatitis c (tattoo), and I had to get tested. HORRIFIED for the wait. I'm really sorry you have to go through it.
I really think it's going to take serious mental control and will power. Unfortunately there is no easy answer. I mean, you could remain high on heroin or be drunk for a month, but that isn't realistic and I do NOT recommend either!
Stay connected here, also. But I do think distraction will serve you the best. Movies. Netflix.
Do you go to the gym at all?

Try to remind yourself that if they really thought something was horribly wrong, they would EXPRESS your results.

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---------- Post added at 18:51 ---------- Previous post was at 18:51 ----------

How long have you been on the amatriptiline?

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[susie1]

Thankyou. I appreciate your support

---------- Post added at 20:24 ---------- Previous post was at 19:56 ----------

anyone else. please

---------- Post added at 20:33 ---------- Previous post was at 20:24 ----------

Anyone else?please?

---------- Post added at 20:46 ---------- Previous post was at 20:33 ----------

I'm sure you know how this feels. You are in a state of panic. you ask for responses. few come in and you think/know it is because everyone must be thinking that it is definitely the worst case scenario. I am terrified of dying / death but right now don't want to be here. how does that work then? My husband has been so supportive over the years but really has had enough and who can blame him. I just don't know what to do

[NervUs]

Thankyou for replying. I am in such a mess. I cannot see how I am going to get through the next 2 hours lets alone 4 weeks at the moment. I feel like my world has imploded and I can't see how to cope

Melonpony gave you some really good ideas. Follow that advice.

Several years ago now, I found a lump in my breast. LOng story short, surgeon decided excisional biopsy was the way to deal with it so, between finding it and finally getting my results of that surgical biopsy was 5 weeks. I had really worked myself up and probably lost 15 lbs...but....I got through it. I think the most important things are not to google your fear cancer and also the I'm alive, I got this self-talk is really useful, whenever negative doom feelings crop in. Take long walks to burn off the adrenaline, find something that really engages you. You will get through it and might even find it gets easier not to ruminate. Don't google!

[susie1]

Thankyou.