View Full Version : Do you drive people mad ?
Just wanted to ask you all if you talk about your health anxiety alot to your partner or friends without realising that you do ?
Ok , Ill explain, the past 2 weeks my panic attacks and gen anxiety has come back, so today my husband nicely told me that I keep talking about my health alot. Well as soon as he said it I realised that I have :blush: .
Then to top that I realised I am doing it to my friends too :wacko: .
Its so embarrasing , i felt like crying when he told me :weep: .
This is what I told my husband up until 3pm today when he told me.........
Ive woke up with a headache.
Ive got ear pains.
My sinusus feel blocked.
Im tired.
My blood pressure is low.
My temprature today is 36.5.
My ankle feels sore.
I think Im getting my period cos my stomach feels sore.
My boobs feel hard.
I felt panicky in that shop.
My breathing feels laboured.
My eyes hurt when I move them.
OMG , whats the matter with me ? Ive got to stop doing this, but the funny thing is I didnt know that I was doing it until my hubby told me.
So Id like to keep this thread going if its ok with you all ?
So I/we can come back and report how I/we are doing with this each day:yesyes: .
I really need help with this.
thanks for reading :winks: .
Hi Mirry, we have to tell our loved ones our troubles don't we?.
Not so much health issues with me, but work issues.
My partner and I decided to discuss things but keep it brief.
Hope you find the right balance Mirry, I'd be interested to know how you progress.
Dave:flowers: x
Hi,
You are not alone with this subject.
Today, I must of mentioned my eyes hurt on the hour, I can tell she is not listening as she is so used to me go on about anxiety.
Red
Hi Dave, the awful thing is , not only have I said all those things too him today, but I have also said each thing many many times !
I am sitting here now and I had a twinge in my leg, and I was just about to tell him.........managed to stop myself, its really hard for me.
Like you say I need to find the right balance.
t.c.
oh Red, thats just how I feel !
I said to my hubby , maybe I go on alot cos I feel you dont listen ?
But no, its me and my anxietys again.
xBettyBoopx
05-05-07, 22:29
Hi Mirry
You are by no means alone in this. People with health anxiety are constantly looking for reassurance, which unfortunately they never seem to find, you're prolly telling your hubby all these things that are happening in your body so that he will tell you that it's ok, or he's had 'that', or maybe you just need to get it off of your chest. Partners/hubbies/wives etc need to have the patience of a saint, don't they:yesyes:
When your anxiety level goes down you will find that you won't have as many symptoms or that you won't feel the need to speak about them as much.
You can get over the need to speak about them, I live alone and have no-one to tell, and it's ok!:shades:
Please try not to worry about it 'cause it'll cause more anxiety.
Take care
Elspeth
groovygranny
05-05-07, 22:42
Oh Mirry, please don't feel embarrassed:ohmy:. At least you're telling your hubby how you feel. Just another slant on this........
For so long I kept things to myself until everything just imploded. I say imploded because my mind and body just shut down so abruptly.
When you don't release things, no matter how trivial they seem to you, they just build up and up like pressure inside a volcano.
Because my hubby has his own health issues I felt I shouldn't add to his worries by saying how I felt, but this only served to make the pressure worse.
Now I try to say more, on his recommendation, he's always got his damn mp3 player welded to his ears - can't win can I? !!! :wacko:
I think I'm at the start of the menopause so he'd better remove it quick!
:flowers::flowers::flowers:
You must keep chatting Mirry, .. but you'll find that balance. :)
GG maybe hubby needs this mp3 kit?
62
Thanks for your replys on this :) .
Well I awoke this morning and said straight away.......
I need the loo because my stomach is hurting ,Ive held on all night .
Then I thought "Ive done it again" :wacko: .
This is going to take some practise,,,other people dont seem to tell people about their every little ach or pain do they . I am determined to cut it down as much as I can cos I dont like myself for it, so Im sure other people dont like it.
G.G, yes hormones dont help do they , my hubby has all that to look forward too ,lol.:flowers:
Elspeth, yes its looking for reassurance but my hubby never has much to say , infact no he doesnt reasure me much at all....but at the same time he cares about me alot cos If I cry he gives me a cuddle and he looks upset too.
bless him.
Hi Mirry,
how about setting aside 5 mins every day, say early eveing, when you agree to sit down with hubby and go through your days worries? I've tried this and find by the end of the day i can hardly remember any, but if somethings really bothering me i think whell at least i can talk it over then.
anx xx
Hi mirry
It's not so much I drive people to distraction but they set me off. Work was chatting about pensions and I was thinking about withdrawing from the scheme when someone said 'don't forget your death in service entitlement' at which point I had to walk out of the room! Same as when people say I look tired, sun tanned (yellow?) or that I've lost weight (cancer). So, I spose I drive people mad but only in so far as they are frightened to talk to me!!!
Kay x
mr spiral says your list of complaints would be the same as mine if you added in i feel fat 5 or 6 times... he says he doesnt mind tho and that it's better to talk about things.
my friends laugh at me for being a hypocondriact (spelling?) and they say it's not too irratating because i can laugh about it too.
Yep I hate my body too and complain to him about that everyday,lol.
Well today I havent said anything else :yesyes: and its getting into the evening now, so thats great !
Mind you, Ive had all sorts of pains today and sat keeping it to myself :wacko: .
Im the exact same!
My biggest fear is that this panic attack will be the last, the chest pains and palpatations is the start of a heart attack. So much so that nearly every day iv convinced myself that iv got some serious condition lol. Dont know how many times iv had cancer, brain tumours etc etc. All pretty irational stuff.
Gryphoenix
08-05-07, 05:06
Most of the times I keep it in but it feels so much better to let it out, and if it's a particuarly silly instance and I don't see it, someone else will and they'll tell me so. Then I can step back and laugh too.
Mirry - Sky has just written a post applicable to this yesterday!!
It really is about finding a balance, yes on the one hand a problem shared is a problem halved but as anxiety sufferers we can become terribly self interested and no that is not fun for those around us!!
I honestly think once you become aware of it like you have, then that shows a real desire to break the habit and I think you are to be applauded for that mate - it will also have a knock on effect of hopefully making you focus less on these issues!
Good post hun!!!
Love Piglet :flowers:
piglet, where can i see skys post ?
Thanks for the kind words....
I am doing well today, havent complained about anything althought its not natural for me lol.
It should have been under active topics when you logged in hun - or put skylight in the search box and it will take you to it.:yesyes:
Love Piglet :flowers:
ItWillPass
08-05-07, 16:56
its very difficult. I go through the same thing... I talk non-stop about it. For some reason once we let it out, it almost becomes easier to handle. My problem now is that people are so used to me complaining, that no one takes it seriously when I say I am sick. I can tell that people just assume it is anxiety and nothing else. Sometimes I feel that I would have to be dead on the floor before anyone would do anything to get me help when I say I am not feeling well.
I used to be the same but with my daughter - I noticed that the more I talked about how I was feeling and in particular syptmoms then it would fuel the panic and make matters worse. Now I tend to let the symptoms pass and not talk about them, it has helped me.
My ex husband would never listen to me, he just walked away or would shout at me - thats why he my ex lol. Anyway I have found a lovely new caring and understanding and supportive partner but I do limit the amount of time that we talk about how I am feeling.
I think its about getting a balance and once your mind is focussed on something else then the symptoms tend to pass by that little bit quicker.
Luv darkangel x
Under~The~Stars
08-05-07, 17:57
Hi Mirry, and all :hugs:
I totally understand what you are saying Mirry about talking about symptoms all the time. I used to talk about every little thing that I got, as my logic in it was that if I fell down anywhere and collapsed or anything then at least someone would be able to tell a doctor what I had been feeling i.e. sore stomach etc! :blush:
But since having counselling etc, and when my anxiety is lower I tend not to talk about all of the symptoms as much, probably because they aren't there. A lot of things with me were probably brought on due to anxiety. However, just now my anxiety is very high. And I've started worrying about all the physical symptoms again. It's a vicious circle. But I'm not as bad as I have been in the past, as a lot has happened since then. I've had a lot going on in my life just now so I'm understanding that is why my anxiety is really high at the moment. I split up with my fiance a couple of weeks ago (not because of my anxiety though), and he used to get really annoyed with me talking about my symptoms all the time, but that didn't stop me. Even though we have split up, he phoned me the other night, and I ended up telling him about all my symptoms lol as I was panicking. I find now that no-one ever takes me seriously when I get something wrong with me, not my mum, dad, ex, doctor, therapist etc. They don't seem to understand how hard it all is.
Time is a great healer hun, so you keep going, it sounds like you are doing well. Just take things one step at a time. You will see improvements each day. You might have blips, but that is all they are, and they are important in recovery. You will be a stronger person after all of this :hugs:
I will be keeping up with this thread, well done for starting it, and remember take each day as it comes :winks: You will begin to see a difference. We all understand how hard this is, and what seems like nothing to others, is something to us, a small thing is a big thing (i.e. if you get a symptom and manage not to say anything about it straight away then thats an improvement, and we all understand that).
Lou xxx :hugs:
louise, Ive been really good since he told me so feel I am seeing a difference, I have had a hard lump that I never mentioned and glad Im Glad I didnt , cos it turned out to be just a cyst !
Today I am going to the doctors so I can have a good moan there ,lol.
I cant decide if I should take medication or not for this, its not an easy decision but I have this little voice worrying about every little thing going on in my body.
thanks for your replys and reassurance.
Yep, i try to do that, too - say 'OK, I know I moan - can I just say everyting that is hurting/borthering me and then i'll try REALLY hard not to mention them again?'. This seems to work for me and him quite well, as by the end of five minutes moaning, I realsie how ridiculous it is and start laughing about my daftness.
chellebelle
15-05-07, 02:10
I definately drive everybody mad!!! Anytime I have a pain that I interpret as possibly dangerous I feel like I have to tell either my partner or my parents if they are with me so that they can tell the paramedics if they need to come. I seek constant reassurance from my poor family, I find it impossible to keep to myself even as I see the frustration and sometimes anger building in my partners face! I guess there's only so many times you can tell somebody the same thing before it starts to get a bit old!
I also feel i must drive my partner mad but he says that i dont and is always ready to listen and always has a positive answer:yesyes:
my doctor even said he is doing a great job of counselling me as i am a lot better bless him:hugs: carol
Under~The~Stars
15-05-07, 11:17
Mirry, just checking to see how you are? Hows things? :hugs:
Lou xxx :hugs:
Hi Mirry
I do this all the time and also i keep thinking if I tell someone and if something should happen they will know what to say to the doc or something.I know that people is tired of hearing it esp my family cause they the only ones that know I have anxiety and I keep thinking that what if this time the pains and symptoms are really something serious they will not be taking note of me.But I really want to get out of that habbit cause i sound like a broken record LOL anyway let me know it goes
Glad to read im not alone with this problem.
Im doing alot better thanks Louise xxx
Ive done quite well but today I had a major dizzy spell whilst walking down the street, felt like my head was too heavy and I was falling !
So told my hubby when he got in from work (sigh)...
Ive had a stomach pain for the past 2 days and I dont know why.....
and yep I mentioned that too. But thats all,lol.
Also Ive notised my hubby changes the subject really quick if I mention pains in my body,,,which sort of leaves me feeling hurt.
But Ive notised something else , when I speak to my mum on the phone nearly everyday - she moans about all her aches and pains every single time, so I think Ive picked up the bad habit from her. This helped knowing why I am like I am and has made me more determined to stop this bad habit !!!
take care all xxx
hi Mirry, i am sorry but i laughed out loud when i read your list of ailments. I have just sat down to ask you all for help and found most of my list already written, i have to add that my head feels numb and my breath echoes in my head.
I also try not to tell my husband as his stock answer is "don't worry oyu will be OK!" He tries to understand - BUT - my way out is usually to write down every symtom. Keep a note book at your side. write date and time and symptom.
Unfortunately it is not a cure but it does occupy your mind for a while.
And sometimes you can say " gosh i had that yesterday / last week and i was OK".
Strangely enough i feel a bit better just typing this in.
Luv June
June,
I started doing just that about 3/4 years ago particularly about my palpitations. I wrote the exact symptoms and my doctors response to them.
I re-read it a few months ago after a gap of a year and saw that my new symptoms were exactly the same as they had been 3/4 years ago - didn't half make me feel better!!!
Piglet :flowers:
my head is giddy and my arms ache - my breathing pattern is all over the place and i am raked with guilt.
I am so sorry
I said that i laughed at Mirry's problems - Please Please understand that it was a VERY relieved laugh that someone else actually knew what i was feeling.
I feel really bad now.
Sorry everyone.
June
June hun - we all know what you mean, it's the sheer relief of finding you're not alone with it. Mirry won't take any offence and neither will anyone else!
Ok - :hugs:
Piglet :flowers:
Because we have health anxiety, we are hyper-aware of every ache and pain. When I was at my worse, going away anywhere used to make me panic about being away from home. I used to printout maps of where the local hospital was so we could find it quickly. We went to Dunoon in Scotland - looked like the middle of nowhere, but I was thrilled to find it had it's own little hospital. At home, I used to take my mobile phone to the toilet if case I needed medical care whilst I was up there. Had my husband's number on the screen ready, so he was one button-press away.
Last summer I spent weeks obsessing about a lump on my leg - worried it was a thrombosis. Went after a bit - probably an insect bite. I have had some genuine health worries which made me forget about these little ones for a while, but the worrying tends to come back when the big issue is resolved.
Basically, our anxiety will find something to latch on to. If we do not have a genuine anxiety we will find others which aren't.
Spuds I do exactly the same!
Wherever I go I check for H A&E Signs on route so I know there's a local hospital near by incase I faint or feel really bad but most of the time I haven't needed to thank goodness!
June I knew you were being nice :hugs: , typical worrier just like me !
Hi mirry,i had to laugh when i read your post.THATS ME..!!!
The reason i laughed is cos you counted up the times and i say exactly what you say!!!,im sure if i counted up the times i talk about my health,pa's and anxiety it'd be a damn site lot more than yours.
Why dont we ever focus on the positives eh...?
Take care and keep smiling,Candie xx
Amanda3266
28-05-07, 10:03
So glad that other people out there drive their partners mad too.
My hubby just says "worrying won't change anything" - not the answer I want as I am seeking reassurance when I point out symptoms. Bless him he has no idea.
Do you know what the really mad thing is though - if somebody else had the same symptoms as me I could completely rationalise it for them - just a pit I can't do it for myself.
Hiya i too do this all the time .My partners abit sick of it now to be honest and so am i,me always wanting to get checked out with the doctor,so i try not to mention anything to him and try to distract myself.
Hugs
xx
yes thinking about it, I think it is looking for reassurance.
come to think about it my parents never reassured me ever , and my husband just listens but doesnt say much.....Im sure If he went into it all and talked about it id end bored with it all , lol.
Youve all helped me cos I have cut it right down most days now, its nice to know im not alone. xxx
Under~The~Stars
30-05-07, 17:45
Mirry, really glad to hear you are doing well with this just now, keep up the good work hun! :yesyes:
Everyone else too, just keep fighting, I know how hard it is :hugs:
Lou xxx :hugs:
Yeah, know exactly what you mean :-) I used to give such detailed descriptions of my symptoms to my friends they didn't have a clue what I was talking about half the time. Or another thing I used to do is ask them 'can this cause such and such?' They'd say know and two minutes later I'd ask the exact same question lol. I guess I just wanted reassurance :yesyes:
worrywart29
06-04-15, 17:47
I know my mother is sick of me she's the only one that at least try to reassure me my fiance just say you gotta calm down youre OK but That's not What I need to hear when I don't feel OK.
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