nikkinik
24-05-17, 12:16
For the most part I do ok with my anxiety, I still have massive social anxiety issues, but I know the rest has improved.
I have some health issues that my medication (amitryptlene) was helping for the past 5yrs, but that's stopped working and I'm slowly coming off it. I am wary of the anxiety I may feel later on when I'm on my own if you like as I know ill health does cause some anxiety in me. But on the whole I'd like to think I do ok.
I just don't know what's going on with my marriage. My husband says all the right things but he just doesn't seem to want me iykwim. It feels like empty words to placate me. I shouldn't let it all affect me but it does.
I'm 37 and we've been together 13 years and I just feel like he's bored of seeing me or something?! I could be standing in front of him in my underwear and he'd just carry on watching the tv.. Yet he'll notice any pretty woman within a 10 mile radius, just not me. I can't lie, it's that that makes me feel inadequate and kind of ugly if I'm honest.
I'm not Cindy Crawford by any stretch... I've lost some of my hair because of the health issues, I'm not in my early 20's anymore and I'm not about to get any younger either, so I can't compete with whomever he finds attractive. But I try to right all the things I feel could be better, for instance I've been working out for the last 1.5 years and my body is improving (albeit slowly), it's such hard work because I'm struggling health wise, but I don't miss a day if I can help it. I always try to look nice, I try to get a balance between just being comfy some days to making a special effort the rest (I don't want to try too hard iykwim)..
But he's told me everything has to be just so for him in order for him to come near me, meaning his ideal time for intimacy is a Saturday afternoon, and as we have a child together who on occasions stays with my Dad the odd Weekend that means we'll only be intimate twice a month.
I appreciate that's how he feels, I don't want to pressure him or make it into a situation but deep down it does affect me. Why do the conditions have to be just so to come near me, yet everyone else piques his interest no matter where we are.. I've just come to the conclusion I can't be attractive enough. Short of saving up for plastic surgery this is who I am :/
Sometimes Ive wondered if it would be easier being on my own, at least then I could probably accept me for me and not have to worry(!)
My husband will say he's " fat, old and bald" but I tell him I fancy him, I show him I do and in my eyes it doesn't matter what he looks like, I'll take him however he comes.. Don't get me wrong he's not depressed about his looks, we've both changed/got older, but that doesn't bother me about him.. Where as if ever I gain any weight (again, healthy vs ill health /flare up) he's been known to poke at my belly "look at that".. Yet I've never been bigger than a size 10!?
He doesn't have to do anything at home because he works longer hours than I do and I want him to feel that when he does get home he can chill out, enjoy his hobby or do whatever he likes and not have to worry if this or that needs doing.. Again, I try to strike the balance between showing I care and not coming off like his mum doing everything for everyone. The point is, I know there's no stress here as such..
I did nothing for a while, that made no difference.. Now I'm trying (and have been for the last 2 yrs) and that's made no difference either.
I don't know... :wacko:
I have some health issues that my medication (amitryptlene) was helping for the past 5yrs, but that's stopped working and I'm slowly coming off it. I am wary of the anxiety I may feel later on when I'm on my own if you like as I know ill health does cause some anxiety in me. But on the whole I'd like to think I do ok.
I just don't know what's going on with my marriage. My husband says all the right things but he just doesn't seem to want me iykwim. It feels like empty words to placate me. I shouldn't let it all affect me but it does.
I'm 37 and we've been together 13 years and I just feel like he's bored of seeing me or something?! I could be standing in front of him in my underwear and he'd just carry on watching the tv.. Yet he'll notice any pretty woman within a 10 mile radius, just not me. I can't lie, it's that that makes me feel inadequate and kind of ugly if I'm honest.
I'm not Cindy Crawford by any stretch... I've lost some of my hair because of the health issues, I'm not in my early 20's anymore and I'm not about to get any younger either, so I can't compete with whomever he finds attractive. But I try to right all the things I feel could be better, for instance I've been working out for the last 1.5 years and my body is improving (albeit slowly), it's such hard work because I'm struggling health wise, but I don't miss a day if I can help it. I always try to look nice, I try to get a balance between just being comfy some days to making a special effort the rest (I don't want to try too hard iykwim)..
But he's told me everything has to be just so for him in order for him to come near me, meaning his ideal time for intimacy is a Saturday afternoon, and as we have a child together who on occasions stays with my Dad the odd Weekend that means we'll only be intimate twice a month.
I appreciate that's how he feels, I don't want to pressure him or make it into a situation but deep down it does affect me. Why do the conditions have to be just so to come near me, yet everyone else piques his interest no matter where we are.. I've just come to the conclusion I can't be attractive enough. Short of saving up for plastic surgery this is who I am :/
Sometimes Ive wondered if it would be easier being on my own, at least then I could probably accept me for me and not have to worry(!)
My husband will say he's " fat, old and bald" but I tell him I fancy him, I show him I do and in my eyes it doesn't matter what he looks like, I'll take him however he comes.. Don't get me wrong he's not depressed about his looks, we've both changed/got older, but that doesn't bother me about him.. Where as if ever I gain any weight (again, healthy vs ill health /flare up) he's been known to poke at my belly "look at that".. Yet I've never been bigger than a size 10!?
He doesn't have to do anything at home because he works longer hours than I do and I want him to feel that when he does get home he can chill out, enjoy his hobby or do whatever he likes and not have to worry if this or that needs doing.. Again, I try to strike the balance between showing I care and not coming off like his mum doing everything for everyone. The point is, I know there's no stress here as such..
I did nothing for a while, that made no difference.. Now I'm trying (and have been for the last 2 yrs) and that's made no difference either.
I don't know... :wacko: