Extreme HIV fear. Irrational or not?

[neuroticcat]

I had an HIV test done a few years ago. (3 years after the possible exposure).Nobody explained me the result but I assumed it was negative based on what I read online. It was (around) 0,164 but it had no reference values. There were no other numbers on that paper. It was only mentioned the method that they used and "non reactive". I was assured for about 4 years that I don't have HIV until January this year when I think my PMS triggered my anxiety.
It actually started as a fear that a member of my family will get hurt and then changed into health anxiety over chronic hepatitis B(I found out Iater that I am vaccinated). Phisically I was in very good health but after a while started having IBS-D like symptoms which made me Google my symptoms and all hell broke loose as I was reading that not all HIV test have a cutoff value of 1. Even if my test said non reactive I am still scared that my result was actually positive. Now I have a sore throat and a weird flesh colored lump in my throat (not a swollen tonsil,) and I'm going nuts.
I have to mention that this is not the first time I'm having irrational fears. When I was around 19 I was reading that there are some rare cases when women still get a period while being pregnant. I did around 10 pregnancy tests and a ultrasound and I was only reassured for the moment, after a few days my fear would be just as bad as before the test. I guess it stopped when I didn't give birth:D
Please help me. I don't know if I should do another HIV test or not.

[Melonpony]

Your HIV status sounds clean. I empathize with you. When I was single, I used to get the HIV scares all the time. Once, I had an HIV test as part of regular screening, and then about a month later I had (protected) sex with someone new that I had been dating, and went back to get re-tested. The nurse evrn said "you just had one..." LOL
I never saw the results- just got a negative letter in the mail.
Your result sounds clean. Those HIV tests are EXTREMELY sensitive.
I also had pregnancy fears in my teens and early 20s. I am beyond embarrassed for my younger self when I recall going to the OB at 16, asking for a pregnancy test DESPITE NEVER HAVING HAD SEX!!!! Oh man. :/
Haha but anyway, I actually had a very real scare once when my boyfriend at the time was diagnosed with Hepatitis C (tattoo). I was petrified going in for that test. The nurse told me that there are no false negatives, but there can be false positives. She said it's a very sensitive test, and nurses need to do them if exposed to a dirty needle etc. Anyway, I don't have Hep C. Or HIV. I don't think you do, either. My guess is the lump and sore throat are from a cold or allergy. I bet they go away in a week or so.
I hope that helps. It's no fun having a fear of infectious diseases!

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[neuroticcat]

Thank you for your reply melonpony.
I don't doubt the sensitivity of the test, but the fact that i just assumed it was negative. I was reading that a test with a value less than 1 it's negative ( mine was 0.164) . On my test they didn't mention any reference values, it only said non reactive witch means negative.
When my anxiety striked again, I started googling HIV test result again and I found out that some tests have a different reference values(for most of them the reference value is 1, tho) and than I started doubting my result, even if it was non reactive written there. I don't know what to believe anymore. I am scared or doing another test.

[Melonpony]

So even though there are different tests with different parameters, you can only go by the one you took. The lab knows which test they use, and what parameters they need to look at. The different tests likely factor in different things, so it's all the same. You know what I mean?

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[neuroticcat]

Thank you so much for your support melonpony. I know what you mean. My rational mind is telling me that since they wrote non reactive I shouldn't​ even be bothering​ with the reference values. It could be less than 1 or it could be 0.200. it doesn't matter since is non reactive. That means it was lower than the cutoff value, whatever that was.
However, anxiety is telling me that I should worry about it. That maybe it's positive and I don't know it.

[Melonpony]

Yes, exactly. I know what you feel. Remember, though. There are no false negatives, but there can be false positives. It's hard when you think you have a horrible disease.
This is a weird thing that works for me, and I'll share in case it works for you. If I get worried, I think back to a time when I was relaxed or happy-just definitely not worrying. And I tell myself that I know i didn't have HIV at that time, so I don't have it now either.
Super simple and may not help others, but its always helped me for some reason.

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