Anxious about things I have no control over

[Humly]

That's me. I'm mostly ok, just going through life as normal but sometimes something will happen which sets me spiralling into anxious thoughts which take over my mind. I know it's things that I have no control over the outcome and I get carried away with the "what ifs" and start catastrophising.

The thing is, I don't really talk about what's bothering me. I will when it first happens (the event), but then I just think about it in my head because everyone will think I'm over reacting, which I know I am. I want to talk about things that are bothering me all the time and I want reassurance that everything will turn out fine. My husband won't indulge me and tell me that everything will be ok, but that's what I need. But he's not that kind of person and that makes me sad because he won't do this thing for me to make me feel better. Just a few words from him would make a big difference and I don't care if he's lying, it's what I need. As a result, I don't talk to him much about how I'm feeling either. I'm ashamed to admit to friends and family the extent of my worries. I put on this front of being laid back and not concerned but it's not true. And I've got so much to be grateful for in my life, which makes me feel worse.

I feel like I need some sort of support group but not sure if I could go and talk about personal stuff in front of a group of strangers.

The thing is, once this current thing is resolved, one way or another, I will be fine and I don't get like this, to this bad extent, all the time. Last time was a year ago for exactly the same reason, incidentally, and it all turned out ok. I don't generally have anxiety for no reason. I can always pinpoint the reason why I am anxious, which makes me reluctant to take meds for it as once this is over, I will calm down and get back to normal. Meantime, overthinking and driving myself mad.

Sorry I am rambling on but it helps to get it all out, someone might read it, and maybe find out that I am not the only one like this.

[braindead]

if you don't need meds, fight on :shades:

[shakey1961]

Humly - I understand how you feel. You can give out wise words of advice to others which you know is correct and truthful, but when you're in the same situation, you doubt your own thoughts. You need to hear it from someone else to believe it.

This forum is great for doing that. Just wish there was a chat room we could all use and chat to people who not feeling well and all help each other in real time.

[Humly]

Thanks Shakey. That's so true. I sometimes say things and play down my situation, and pretend things are ok, but they're not. Yes I need to hear it from other people to believe it.

I was just about to delete this thread. I just think people haven't got time for me because I moan but won't take meds and they lose patience with me. Just need to talk to feel better.

[Bigboyuk]

Hi Humly people on here do care and actually don't mind if you vent,moan or what ever you want to call it And as for meds some members swear by them others don't some use therapy and meds together there is no one size fits all. See you been here for some years, can I ask how well you are recovering and sure we all have set backs. Are you receiving any out side support like therapy? We are all here for each other to help and advise where we can Cheers

[Humly]

Thanks Bigboyuk. Yes I've been on here for years. Used to suffer with health anxiety but not too bothered by that now. My anxiety is intermittent and not constant but sometimes it hits and I spiral downwards, usually when I over react to a situation which affects me or my family.
I've been on meds in the past but I don't think it's the right thing for me. I've had a short course of telephone guided cbt but didn't engage with it. I knew more about it than the therapist to be honest. I know what I should be doing but don't/can't put it into practice.
I'm quite ashamed of myself and embarrassed as I think lots of people have real and serious problems to deal with and mine are not really.

[braindead]

Thanks Shakey. That's so true. I sometimes say things and play down my situation, and pretend things are ok, but they're not. Yes I need to hear it from other people to believe it.

I was just about to delete this thread. I just think people haven't got time for me because I moan but won't take meds and they lose patience with me. Just need to talk to feel better.

If your anxiety is really bad you will take meds believe me , and if chronic you would walk over broken glass barefoot to fetch your meds , If you wont take meds your not that ill and dont need them :shrug:

[Phuzella]

My anxiety gets really bad and I won't take meds. Don't beat yourself up over that Humly :)

[Bigboyuk]

Thanks Bigboyuk. Yes I've been on here for years. Used to suffer with health anxiety but not too bothered by that now. My anxiety is intermittent and not constant but sometimes it hits and I spiral downwards, usually when I over react to a situation which affects me or my family.
I've been on meds in the past but I don't think it's the right thing for me. I've had a short course of telephone guided cbt but didn't engage with it. I knew more about it than the therapist to be honest. I know what I should be doing but don't/can't put it into practice.
I'm quite ashamed of myself and embarrassed as I think lots of people have real and serious problems to deal with and mine are not really. Np :) I think the key thing here is You know what you should be doing, but don't or cant put it in to practice if you cant then you still need to get some help on this :) If you don't put it in to practice then ask your self why, It doesn't matter if you only suffer now and then you still suffer right?! And your problems are just as real to you as they are the next person. Cheers

[Phuzella]

Regarding NHS "therapy ". I tried it twice. First time was with a very nice young lady, very young actually who I just couldn't take seriously :(. Second time was with 2 ladies and I spent the whole session educating them on mindfulness. So that was a waste of time lol

[Bigboyuk]

Regarding NHS "therapy ". I tried it twice. First time was with a very nice young lady, very young actually who I just couldn't take seriously :(. Second time was with 2 ladies and I spent the whole session educating them on mindfulness. So that was a waste of time lol
That's a shame really I mean it's often a very long wait only to be disappointed and let down I think sometimes. Cheers

[Humly]

Thanks for that Braindead! I certainly am not rock bottom but that's exactly what I mean about attitudes. I've tried meds in the past but I don't think they are for me. They didn't help my underlying issues which are the cause of this.
I seriously need to change my way of thinking and I shall have to get my cbt books out again and try harder to apply myself.

[snowghost57]

There is a chat room here, I'm in it very often, very nice people there and I've made friends. Under the logo NO MORE PANIC you will see chat room, click on it, it will tell you if anyone is in the room, come on over and join us. I'm in a different time zone so sometimes I miss people. You are not alone with intrusive thoughts. I have them as well and every day I learn to work through them. I have a great therapist, sometimes it takes a few tries to find one you can relate to. Look up mindfulness and being present. There is the Now by Eckert Tolle, pretty deep sometimes but he has a good concept. All we have is the now, our next thought is not in the future or past it arrives in the now. PM me if you would like I have several friends there as well as some people are shy on the forums. We are here to support each other and there are a lot of great people here.

[KeeKee]

If your anxiety is really bad you will take meds believe me , and if chronic you would walk over broken glass barefoot to fetch your meds , If you wont take meds your not that ill and dont need them :shrug:

Whether or not you choose to take meds is irrelevant as to how ill you are. Saying "If you won't take meds your not that ill" Is very undermining in my opinion.

---------- Post added at 13:54 ---------- Previous post was at 13:49 ----------


Thanks for that Braindead! I certainly am not rock bottom but that's exactly what I mean about attitudes. I've tried meds in the past but I don't think they are for me. They didn't help my underlying issues which are the cause of this.
I seriously need to change my way of thinking and I shall have to get my cbt books out again and try harder to apply myself.

Humly I will not take meds either and I too have taken them in the past so it's not like I'm making an uninformed decision. They don't work for everybody and whilst they did take away the sting of by depression they made no difference to my anxiety and body image issues. They also had unwanted side effects and I'd take feeling like **** over those anyday.

Do you have any idea what the underlying causes could be etc? From my experience CBT will not look to treat the underlying cause and it is all about the here and now, whereas CAT is more about why you feel the way you feel if that makes sense.

Either way I hope you get the treatment you need, it's such a lonely journey having mental health issues, although we aren't alone in this as this website more than proves, we are alone in the individual thoughts we have, we have to do to therapy alone etc, we have to fight out own thoughts and so on. So lonely and soul destroying. I wish you the best

[snowghost57]

No you are not alone in this. We all vent on here (in a nice way) There is a chat room as well. I don't take meds either. I do work on mindfulness and challenge my stinking thinking. Yesterday it did get the best of me. After 8 days of rain here and being alone for 2 days got to me. I am fortunate that I have a room mate that is supportive as he suffered panic attacks after his wife died. You can post as many topics as you want here, welcome and please vent away!

[Humly]

Thank you Snowghost and KeeKee. I'm not sure what the underlying cause is. Haven't had any childhood or major traumas in the past. Seems like a warped and sometimes negative way of thinking about certain things, being not in control or something. But feeling less alone now. Good advice, much appreciated :)