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Scaldris
28-05-17, 18:07
Hello!
Thanks for clicking on my thread. I'm a 17 years old girl and I'd like to ask your opinion about my unusually high anxiety levels and all.

So around 3 months ago I developed HOCD, I also need to add that there was unusual amount of stress in my life, about my finally good grades etc. I haven't been diagnosed by specialist, because I'm ashamed of this and also don't want to stress my parents about something not real issue *like me being gay or bi*, since then my life is hell. It started with huge panic attacks about HOCD, I felt like I will faint or throw up, I lost my appetite and lost some weight too, lost my motivation to draw and read and game , which all were my favourite freetime activities, and I become numb to good feelings and emotions. I've always dreamed of getting a boyfriend, now I have it, he is awesome cute and supporting he really cares about me but in the first weeks I felt like I was absolutely in love, like everything was perfect with him *when my HOCD let me have feelings, so these were on and off* but now when I stress a lot more, what I didn't think is possible, I feel nothing, absolutely nothing just fear of everything. I used to hate the weekend because I couldn't see my boyfriend but now I just don't feel anything at all,I wanna curl up on my bed and cry, I feel nothing towards everyone, only fear, I fear everything now.
I'm sorry I'm embarassed to write the entire story and it 'd be long, keeping it short, a bi girl was waaay to friendly with me, literally didn't want to leave me alone etc and I got a fear that she thinks I'm like her in orientation, which made me panic that what if I'm not the person I used to know, what if I fooled myself all along about having dozens of crushes only on guys and daydreams about a great boyfriend, I feared that it was all fake which is I know is not possible.I fear that this is not HOCD, even thought I know it is, I fear that I don't love my boyfriend, and my dear obsessive mind gave me more anxiety because lately I was so numb even when my boyfriend kissed me on my cheek I felt nothing only a little sparkle of calm and love, but only a little sparkle of it. This made me worried that I don't love him, don't want to be intimate with him, which again awoke a fear, even tho I've always dreamed about having a real boyfriend with everything a normal couple would do included and I enjoyed these daydreams.Now I feel scared that I might not like being intimate with my boyfriend, I'm terrified of the thought, even thought I love hugging him *maybe I'm just too young in soul to think about intimate things?* Can I be afraid of intimacy because I've never really liked when people thouched or hugged me? Of course I can tolerate it from my friends, and their hugs calm me but... Right now everything seem s so difficult and never ending.. I feel lost, numb and suicidal.

I've always been a really anxius child and teen,I'm also waaaay to sensible, I could cry of almost anything and this is still appealing, I constantly worried about everthing and anything, literally everything and anything I had really depressed periods when I wore all black and constantly cried. To be honest I've never had a real boyfriend, when I got into a relationship *I had to add pretty young, around 5th grade and 7th or 8th I dont remember* I felt good but always felt like I need time to trust, and when the relationship ended I was really depressed. Also lately *a good 7 months back* I felt soo long I was almost literally dying to have a boyfriend.

About my HOCD thing. I'm almost a 100% sure it's HOCD because when first the thoughts came I didn't considered them to be real*also I used to watch anime and when I accidentally watched one with lesbian scenes included I felt unconfortable and disgusted and didn't understand how could 2 girls do this, no offense*, I thought and felt they were alien, which lead me to discover OCD, and with that the facts about HOCD and that it is actually a common thing + it was a rollercoaster feeling, sometimes I felt like I was myself and I was calm and confident, sometimes it was pure hell and questioning and thinking, feeling I would rather die than to be attracted to other girls *I don'T want to offend anyone, I'm actually supportive towards the community and I know truly gay people and I'm also friends with them*.
Also what added to my anxiety is that I hate socializing, I just hate going to public, I feel awkward around other girls, even classmates maybe because I was bullied a lot in primary school, that I'm not beautiful enough, I'm not worthy, no boy would love me and all, also I rather watched anime and had my dream world where I was happy had a nice guy and didn't care about famous people and all. So I think I might have really low self-esteem, and I know I'm pretty insecure, also during my depressed period I couldn't study, I got pretty bad grades and everybody made me feel by treating me like I was really dumb. Now it changed I have great grades but still feel like everyone thinks that about me, I'm terrified to make a phonecall even when I just want to order pizza, or talk to a shop assistant for example.

Sorry about this all, I don'T think it makes sense, because when I started writing I knew what I wanted to tell but it just fell apart during writing. So all in all, I feel like I'm not myself, I feel depressed, lost and I would rather hide under my bed than think and do anything. I started don't caring about HOCD thoughts and I felt awesome after that and my feelings came back but lately I just feel oly anxiety and absolutely nothing and HOCD started to haunt me in my dreams, I'm scared of sleeping now. I'm also scared to ask my parents to see a pshichologist and I also scared that if I get taken to one they will say that this is not HOCD just a painful process of realization, also this starts to die down, because when I get better the little voice of doubt starts to disappear.

What do you think about all this? Is this really just a numb period or I don'T love my boyfriend? Can I just loose the feeling of love as a result of unusually high anxiety level? Or I never really loved him? I know it's hard to tell from this but I needed to write this out, I'm sorry I tried to keep this short I hope I didn't left out important information, and thank you if take your time and read this.

Fishmanpa
28-05-17, 20:19
You asked for an opinion....

I believe until you're diagnosed with a legitimate mental illness, you should not assume you have one. I also believe at 17 years old, you're experiencing the mixed feelings, uncertainty and anxiety that any 17 year old child with some obvious anxiety issues would experience in a new relationship.

As a parent, I believe you should talk to your parents about your feelings and ask for help. This is an internet anxiety forum and these are just words on a screen. IMO you need real life professional help to help sort out the feelings you're having.

Good luck and as always...

Positive thoughts

Scaldris
28-05-17, 20:36
Thank you for taking your time to answer, I know I can't diagnose myself but at that time of extreme panic I had to do something to calm myself down, also the thoughts were and still alien to me and that's what made and makes sense. I'm trying to talk to my parents, the difficulty is that 1. I live in a country where when someone sees a psychologist is marked as insane and a wreck 2. I'm embarassed about such thoughts. Thank you very much for taking your time to answer, I really do appreciate it, it is great to hear a parents opinion. I think I had a false imagination about the beggining of a relationship because I've read lots of teen romance books, and after talking to a friend of mine who is in a longer relationship she told me the same I just somehow couldn'T believe it or just didn't stuck in my mind if you understand how I mean, like when I doubt something basic about myself even the most obvious reasons won't stay in my mind long.
Thank you again, it really means a lot to me.

I talked to my mom and she offered to me to see a psychologist if I feel like, she was worried about me and about the fact that I fear almost everything, and worry about everything at such a young age. Thank you very much again, you encouraged me as a parent telling me this, I was just too scared to annoy her with my not-so-real problem. Now I will only need to conquer the fear and embarrassment of talking about all this to a psyhologist.Nevermind, they just seemed ti be supporting, now they can't stop sayi g things like : "get over it"" you have everything, you really have nothing to be sad for, stop cryi g" "what you gonna do later in life like that" and so o ...

God bless you and your loved ones.