New and looking to change things

[MsAnxiety]

Hi, never joined anywhere to speak about myself before this this is a big step for me. I am a happily married woman, who has a very supportive hubby, who loves me despite my troubles. So I know am I very lucky there.

Looking back it would seem I've struggles with anxiety since my late teens, I hated going out with my friends for a night out, and wasn't comfortable until I had a few drinks. Eventually I went down the ecstasy route most weekends for over a year. After meeting my hubby I stopped taking them and never looked back. But my anxiety was starting to take over, I would wake up on the morning of a family party or wedding, and I would be in such a state. I wouldn't want to go, and I made myself ill over it. Sometimes I made it to the event, but most times not. I've always hated going training on my own, and I've never walked into a pub on my own either. I've always been bothered with self confidence, body issues and low self worth. I have always been guilty of overthinking everything, and worrying about "what if".

In Sep 2012 I woke up one morning hysterical, thinking of suicide and how I was no good to anyone etc. I had lost my job, and couldn't see a future. I was diagnosed with depression and started on fluoxetine for it. I attended CBT too. It seemed to help and I got back on my feet and began working again in March 2013. I came off the AD that summer and felt fine until three years ago. I was put back on fluoxitine initially, but was then moved to Citalopram beginning of last year for it's calming effect as I was getting bouts of anger and irritability. The Doc kept increasing the does but then in December last year my Mum's cancer returned. I was switched to Sertraline increasing to 150mg after Mum's death in January.

It hasn't really helped and I had a panic attack at work last Thursday. I was given Diazepam and a prescription for Venlafaxine. I spoke to him about everything, and he's agreed that now it's anxiety thats the bigger issue.

For the last two years I've been working in mental health, I think this has played a big past in how I feel. I am more anxious about going to work, and being there than anything. Although I don't go out unless it's to the supermarket or to walk the dog, so I know the social anxiety is still a problem, but I avoid it.

I start a new job on the 19th of June and I'm really excited, but a little nervous too. I want to move on and to have a fresh start with my life. I want to be happy with myself and stop overthinking everything. I have used some of the Diazepam, but don't want to start on the Venlafaxine as I've read so many bad things about it. Plus I don't need to put anymore weight on, as in the last 3 years I've gained 3 stone, with doesn't help my feelings about myself. I came here last night and got caught up in deficiencies causing problems. After reading all day I've finally plucked up the courage to post and get some advice. Sorry for rabbiting on so long.

I'm looking at taking Omega 3, Magnesium, Vit C, Vit D and increasing my Vit B complex. I think I should add Vit K2 to the list as well. This is all with a view to taper off my AD's. Am I crazy or is it do-able?

Thanks
Paula

[venusbluejeans]

Hiya MsAnxiety and welcome to NMP :welcome:

Why not take a look at our articles on our home page, they contain a wealth of information and are a great starting place for your time on the forum.

I hope you find the as site helpful and informative as I have and that you get the help and support you need here and hope that you meet a few friends along the way :yesyes:

[Mark13]

Hello Paula and :welcome:to the forum.

[beatroon]

Hello there, nice to meet you although sorry you are here because you're in difficulties. I think a lot of people on the boards will be able to relate to how you are feeling though, so I am sure you will get a great deal of comfort and support.

For myself, I know that my chances of tapering off ADs successfully are vastly increased if I am well supported and take things extremely slowly. You might find more info about your particular meds on the specific boards on here. My psychotherapist's advice was to go really slowly, up your exercise, get a good night's sleep and avoid major life events in the middle of withdrawing, and to try to do it in summer and not around Christmas so as not to get triggered by any SAD feelings. Good luck! x

[MsAnxiety]

Thank you. I've had a good look around the Forums and at various articles :)

I've made some changes, maybe too many at once, but that could just be my overactive brain talking. I finished at my old job on Tuesday, and started Vit D and Vit B. Did my research and ordered Omega-3 EPA capsules and Magnesium. I tried fish oil but was nearly sick :eek: it's not for me. Wednesday I started Venlafaxine 37.5mg along with my Vitamins, on Thursday my Magnesium arrived so took that before bed, and yesterday my EPA arrived so started that too.

I know leaving work has had a big impact on me, but I was still really tense and unsettled especially overnight. Last night (Friday) I slept better than I have in months and months, I walked 2 and a half miles with my dog yesterday, which is the longest I've walked in ages.

I feel more aware of my feelings and how my anxiety affects my emotions, thoughts and actions. I'm trying not to overthink everything, which is one of my biggest problems. I'm going to continue with my Vitamins and I'm writing a brief diary of my sleep, my thoughts and how I am feeling throughout the day.