...to call the doctor...or not...?

[Cocobro1015]

So here's an internal dilemma I've been thinking about quite a lot lately. When is it appropriate to go to the dr and when is it appropriate to say to yourself "STOP". My medical bills are through the roof and not one thing I have gone to the dr for has turned out to be anything at all. If nothing else, it has just caused me to become more entrenched in the reassurance seeking cycle to the point where the thought of not going to the dr makes me go absolutely insane.
My biggest trigger as of late has been my skin. I've had 2 full on screenings and 3 biopsies (that I sorta pushed for) and another appointment today because of a mole on my foot that I think is acral melanoma and one on my hip that I think is nodular melanoma (perfectly round, barely raised, and hasn't changed in at least 6 months). I wanted so bad this time to be able to tell myself "hey, you've been checked not once but TWICE in two months. Trust the dermatologists and go about your day." But I can't. I start thinking they missed something and if I didn't get it checked early it would be too late and I couldn't forgive myself.

So where do we draw the line here? I know I'm being quite irrational, yet it's like I can't control my thoughts or impulses. Does anyone have a system for dealing with this? My therapist even said she wants me to back off of my dr visits and I'm trying but I feel like ignoring your health is irresponsible.

---------- Post added at 11:43 ---------- Previous post was at 11:41 ----------

Like I always hear cancer survivors say "trust your gut feeling" but our gut feelings are usually wrong and the consequence is not being able to break the reassurance seeking cycle

[nhelen79]

Great question. I would like to know too

[Fishmanpa]

Allow me to answer....

Concerning cancer and the "gut feeling". With anxiety sufferers, your "gut instincts" are skewed and short circuit more than they function so you can't really trust them. That being said, you can trust test results and medical professionals. That's what's apparent from your therapist to trust the doctor and move on. And because cancer symptoms, especially early on are so vague, you wouldn't know nor would have the "gut feeling". It wasn't until the 2nd round of antibiotics didn't work that I began to suspect something sinister. It wasn't as much a gut feeling I had it, it was more an "oh shit" there's a distinct possibility (and the doctor said as much). However, testing will reveal it. AND... if it's advanced and there are symptoms, there's no mistaking it (like in my case).

Let me add something about heart worries. I've had two heart attacks. There aren't words to describe the pain. You can Google all you want and site silent heart attacks and other rare instances till the cows come home but there was no mistake something terrible was wrong and I for sure wasn't on some forum asking strangers about it!

I WISH I got the clean results so many here get.

Positive thoughts

[Jackrabbit]

Allow me to answer....

Concerning cancer and the "gut feeling". With anxiety sufferers, your "gut instincts" are skewed and short circuit more than they function so you can't really trust them. That being said, you can trust test results and medical professionals. That's what's apparent from your therapist to trust the doctor and move on. And because cancer symptoms, especially early on are so vague, you wouldn't know nor would have the "gut feeling". It wasn't until the 2nd round of antibiotics didn't work that I began to suspect something sinister. It wasn't as much a gut feeling I had it, it was more an "oh shit" there's a distinct possibility (and the doctor said as much). However, testing will reveal it. AND... if it's advanced and there are symptoms, there's no mistaking it (like in my case).

Let me add something about heart worries. I've had two heart attacks. There aren't words to describe the pain. You can Google all you want and site silent heart attacks and other rare instances till the cows come home but there was no mistake something terrible was wrong and I for sure wasn't on some forum asking strangers about it!

I WISH I got the clean results so many here get.

Positive thoughts

I'm sorry that you've had to go through so much in your life. I mean that. In my more anxious moments I feel that I am behaving ungratefully because I know that there are those out there who wish that they could claim a good bill of health. I don't know how to describe it, but whenever I think about that, this weird blend of emotions wash over me: guilt, empathy, shame, i don't really know. But it is something that I can't control. A whirlwind of thoughts haunt me sometimes when I think about health and mortality and what determines who gets sick and who doesn't, its apart of what drives my anxiety. You seem like a nice person and I can tell even on here that you don't deserve the health problems that you have and that life can be a real b*tch sometimes. Not a pity paragraph or anything just expressing my thoughts.

[Fishmanpa]

A whirlwind of thoughts haunt me sometimes when I think about health and mortality and what determines who gets sick and who doesn't, its apart of what drives my anxiety.

And that is my point. There is no rhyme or reason. You could be in a car accident or some other freak occurrence tomorrow.

I have real physical issues that can bury me six feet under. Your anxiety is doing that to you above ground. I assure you, despite the physical issues both my wife and I face, we live each day to the best of our ability because we know how precious and fragile life actually is. Treating the illness you do have will allow you to enjoy life. Lastly... read the quote in my signature. It's a philosophy I take to heart and strive to do each and every day.

Positive thoughts