View Full Version : Can't Win!
Right, so I have pretty much conquered the Agoraphobia thingy, and I'm happy to go out to certain places now, either by myself or with others.... so all seems good eh?
Well, yes and no. See, I am more than happy with the super freedom I now have, and believe you me, I am trying to make the most of it but........
My bloody mates are crap. :mad:
I suppose I am still very new to going out and having a laugh etc, it hasn't happened for a while..... so why is it, when I call anyone, they are always tired, or have a cold (typical blokes really).
Maybe I smell? :ohmy:
I know people can't be out 24/7 due to financial reasons, and the wife of course, but is it my fault they got married? No. (and more to the point, I still had to pay for my booze (and most of theirs) at their Weddings).
So basically, there is no point to this thread whatsoever, except to tell you my mates are crap, and I guess you could offer me some suggestions as to what to do with my time. (anyone suggests a nice walk in the park, I will not be happy). :winks:
Rant Over
:lac:
hi ross
so youve got crap mates we all get them from time to time, a walk in the park i dont think so mind you saying that if you aint got a dog get one its amazing how many people stop and talk to you , hows about joining a gym, going to your local pub your bound to see someone there you know, what about art classes or photography classes, ross your such an easy person to get along with you should have no prob's making friends
all the best
denise :yesyes:
Hi Ross
Could it be because you've been off the scene for a while they've sort of moved on? Perhaps it'll take them a while to get used to you being out and about. Maybe you just need to give them a bit of time to get used to the 'new' 'old' Ross.
Glad to hear you're out and about tho' brilliant news!!
kay x
Awww Denise, that was so kind :blush:
I do have a dog, but he has a bad heart murmor, and is very old now, so excercise isn;t really an option for him.
Gym???? What's that? *goes to Google*
:ohmy: you want me to do that excercise thingy? :weep:
As for the local pub, yeah, I do pop down there from time to time and see who's around. There is invariably 'someone' to have a chat and a pint with, but not somewhere to spend an evening if you know what I mean..... (come to the pub, you will get the idea lol).
Kay, thankies for your reply :)
I think you are right, a couple have said "it's weird having you back out". I am bit of a case when on the juice.
Ross,
This is all very new for you, isn't it? So give it time, and try to sort out a new life. It will all come together in due course.
Now that you can get out and about, I'd aim to get my exercise levels up bit by bit, which you could combine as part of an interest. This could be swimming or regular walking. The gym doesn't appeal to me either!
I see anyone's departure from anxiety an opportunity to build up a new circle of friends.
Cheers
Mate
You are top man, next time I am down your way, I will get the beer in.
Milky bars on me :)
Chin up buddy
Jaco
Ross,
This is all very new for you, isn't it? So give it time, and try to sort out a new life. It will all come together in due course.
Now that you can get out and about, I'd aim to get my exercise levels up bit by bit, which you could combine as part of an interest. This could be swimming or regular walking. The gym doesn't appeal to me either!
I see anyone's departure from anxiety an opportunity to build up a new circle of friends.
Cheers
Your not wrong Ray. Just quite frustrating to be able to do these things now and not having anyone to share the experience with. I dont mind being out alone, and sometimes its nice to have a pint by the local river just thinking about things, but other times, I want a good evening, plenty of beer and good mates around me.
I can understand that I'm probably being selfish now, afterall, I did ditch these people (even though it was uncontrolable) so re-integration is going to take time I guess.
Thanks for your reply Ray :)
Mate
You are top man, next time I am down your way, I will get the beer in.
Milky bars on me :)
Chin up buddy
Jaco
Jaco, make it soon fella, my mouth resembles Ghandi's FlipFlop! :winks:
I'm sure the pint purchasing will be recipriocle. (sp wasn't ever anygood at English)
nomorepanic
07-05-07, 22:32
Ross
You could use the time to get out alone too.
I used to drive for hours to see how I would cope and build self-confidence.
As others have said you have been off the scene a bit so they are not used to you wanting to go out.
My suggestion is go out every day anyway - just get out the house and maybe a drive and a walk somewhere - just do anything to get you out.
Don't slip back into bad routines ok?
You can do it babe.
Ross
You could use the time to get out alone too.
I used to drive for hours to see how I would cope and build self-confidence.
As others have said you have been off the scene a bit so they are not used to you wanting to go out.
My suggestion is go out every day anyway - just get out the house and maybe a drive and a walk somewhere - just do anything to get you out.
Don't slip back into bad routines ok?
You can do it babe.
Thankies Nic. Just so bored now. It's almost like I just accepted that I was indoors, and that was that. Very Strange.
I will endevour to get out and about as much as possible, and never slip back. Thats the hope, thats the plan, and thats what will happen :)
TY Hun :hugs:
Woss....I'd suggest maybe a walk in the park perhaps!!!!! :D
Dunno what to say Ross hunny but You did so well in USA dont lose sight of that:yesyes:
I will be your mate........when are you up for a pint!!!!!:yesyes:
Luv Kaz x x x:hugs:
Just takes time hun when you've been off the scene for a bit - persevere with your mates and what about seeing if anyone is down the snooker club??
Piglet :flowers:
Ross,
u did good hun :yesyes:
Dont worry about what to do just go out and see wer u end up, thats what i do.
if i cant decide what to do i jump in the car and put it on autopilot and wahey i arrive somplace new and exciting every time (autopilot only works on batterd ford fiestas!, prefrably a blue one :shrug: )
seriously though Ross, u did really well to go to the states:hugs:
Woss....I'd suggest maybe a walk in the park perhaps!!!!! :D
*sings song* Bang Bang, I shot you down Bang Bang! :lac:
Dunno what to say Ross hunny but You did so well in USA dont lose sight of that:yesyes:
I will be your mate........when are you up for a pint!!!!!:yesyes:
Luv Kaz x x x:hugs:
Let me know where and when, and I will be there.
Just takes time hun when you've been off the scene for a bit - persevere with your mates and what about seeing if anyone is down the snooker club??
Piglet :flowers:
Yer, thats what I am realising....... shocking really. Thought all would be like it was back in the day. Still, a new day tomorrow, and the next and the next eh?
TY all xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
Ross,
u did good hun :yesyes:
Dont worry about what to do just go out and see wer u end up, thats what i do.
if i cant decide what to do i jump in the car and put it on autopilot and wahey i arrive somplace new and exciting every time (autopilot only works on batterd ford fiestas!, prefrably a blue one :shrug: )
seriously though Ross, u did really well to go to the states:hugs:
TY :D I dont have a Ford Fiesta though! :ohmy:
*looks through AutoTrader*
I think I need to broaden my horizons, maybe visit a few more of the pubs which I hated before all this happened, maybe.
Thanks Mynydd :hugs:
Southern_Belle
07-05-07, 23:47
Hi Ross,
I don't know the particulars but perhaps you were surrounded by people while in the USA and now you are by yourself again and feel lonely. It is quite understandable that you want to reconnect with your mates again. Why don't you invite them over to your house for dinner and a night of poker or some kind of card game? Or, invite them over for Stellas and to watch football? If that isn't possible I'd go out and go to the cinema, bookstore or just a park. Hope you can get together with them.
:hugs: ,
Laura :flowers:
Hey Ross, things do change when you're away for any reason. I noticed it when I moved away from an area for a few years and then moved back. The same people are around but the "scene" had changed to the point of being non-existent. I then moved back again and the "scene" had disappeared there too! It's the same the world over. It's also the reason why it's not helpful to try to recapture the past. The present is where it's at.
On a slightly different note (and possibly an unpopular one!), it might be good to try not to revolve your social world around the booze, especially if you are a bit of a handful when you've had a few - that's no fun for anyone (speaking from experience cos I was married to a yokel who also liked a drink or eight). There are much better ways to enjoy yourself - ones that embrace reality rather than try to alter or take time out from it. Carpe diem and all that.
I'm really looking forward to you having a different avatar one day - I reckon you're way better than that!
Just a thought.
Eeb x (annoyingly teetotal - yes, I know...sorry)
Hi Ross,
I don't know the particulars but perhaps you were surrounded by people while in the USA and now you are by yourself again and feel lonely. It is quite understandable that you want to reconnect with your mates again. Why don't you invite them over to your house for dinner and a night of poker or some kind of card game? Or, invite them over for Stellas and to watch football? If that isn't possible I'd go out and go to the cinema, bookstore or just a park. Hope you can get together with them.
:hugs: ,
Laura :flowers:
Your right that I am very much missing the 'aspects' of the US which made me very happy. I do have friends over quite a bit, and always cook a meal, and have plenty to drink etc. I spose it's just gonna take time. You lot over there dont really have the same 'Drinking Culture' as we do, so it's quite difficult to understand the want to be in a bar quite so much, but thats the differnce in our societies so to speak.
Many thanks for your reply Laura :hugs:
Hey Ross, things do change when you're away for any reason. I noticed it when I moved away from an area for a few years and then moved back. The same people are around but the "scene" had changed to the point of being non-existent. I then moved back again and the "scene" had disappeared there too! It's the same the world over. It's also the reason why it's not helpful to try to recapture the past. The present is where it's at.
On a slightly different note (and possibly an unpopular one!), it might be good to try not to revolve your social world around the booze, especially if you are a bit of a handful when you've had a few - that's no fun for anyone (speaking from experience cos I was married to a yokel who also liked a drink or eight). There are much better ways to enjoy yourself - ones that embrace reality rather than try to alter or take time out from it. Carpe diem and all that.
I'm really looking forward to you having a different avatar one day - I reckon you're way better than that!
Just a thought.
Eeb x (annoyingly teetotal - yes, I know...sorry)
Eeb, your more than welcome to enter your opinions, and they are taken on-board. I too worry that all my social time is based in or around drink, but that is the way it works down 'ere. As for Carpe Diem, I had Fish today. Was very nice.
Thankies for your reply :) :hugs:
Aha that must be why I've got no social life then. I'm only a few miles from you ;-)
Hi Ross
Great to see another positive thread - you are doing sooooooo well. Im kinda in the same boat as you - after being agoraphobic for years, the past few years I have found my feet and want out all the time! But friends have moved on and relationships change and its finding new things for YOU to enjoy. Now dont shoot me down but what about looking into some Volunteering Work - maybe befriending.
Luv Darkangel :flowers:
honeybee3939
08-05-07, 09:52
Hi Ross
I can really understand just how you are feeling, i myself have made good progress and it feels like i have got a new lease of life, i just want to be out having fun:) . I feel as if i have got lots of enthusiasm but the problem is no-one seems to want to share it with me:weep: .
I even went for a walk last night on my own, called at the pub at the end of the road on my own for half of bitter, husband wouldnt come he was too busy watching snooker!
At the moment im finding it so hard to just sit at home! Im wanting to be out doing the things that i missed out on over the last 10 years!:)
Theres no stopping us now Ross is there!
Hugs
:hugs:
Andrea
xxxx
Paddington
08-05-07, 11:57
Hi Ross,wow,what a change hey?Are you a fellow aquarian by any chance??:wacko: I ask ,as we are renounded for wanting to do things ..LIKE,NOW PLEASE FOLKS!!I AM BACK AND WANT YOUR COMPANY!:D Bit like a puppy,can i play now...pant pant...:D :D Give your mates a chance Ross,very frustrating i know..But as one said 'it's weird you being out '..to you it's being re-born and you want to LIVE each moment to the full.Problem is mate to them,it is nothing special,it is just every day life so they wont understand the urgency!:wacko: You could try explaing this to them so they can understand what a slap in the face it feels like when they aere less than enthusiastic..hey mate if we were nieghbours,i'd buy you a pint:) Keep it up Ross,the man done good!Love Paddie.xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
Hi Ross
Great to see another positive thread - you are doing sooooooo well. Im kinda in the same boat as you - after being agoraphobic for years, the past few years I have found my feet and want out all the time! But friends have moved on and relationships change and its finding new things for YOU to enjoy. Now dont shoot me down but what about looking into some Volunteering Work - maybe befriending.
Luv Darkangel :flowers:
I have been applying for jobs, but there is nowt really. Seems like the same old story. Volunteer work is something I have briefly thought about, but discounted it as I don;t know how to go about it. There aren't ever any advertisments in the local paper about it, and I don't know where else to look tbh.
Hi Ross
I can really understand just how you are feeling, i myself have made good progress and it feels like i have got a new lease of life, i just want to be out having fun:) . I feel as if i have got lots of enthusiasm but the problem is no-one seems to want to share it with me:weep: .
I even went for a walk last night on my own, called at the pub at the end of the road on my own for half of bitter, husband wouldnt come he was too busy watching snooker!
At the moment im finding it so hard to just sit at home! Im wanting to be out doing the things that i missed out on over the last 10 years!:)
Theres no stopping us now Ross is there!
Hugs
:hugs:
Andrea
xxxx
Awww Andrea, I am so pleased you are doing well! :) So we are in the same boat eh? I just wish there was a way to bottle this enthusiasm, because I know there will be days where I won't be able to get enthusiastic about anything, and would need a top-up.
Hi Ross,wow,what a change hey?Are you a fellow aquarian by any chance??:wacko: I ask ,as we are renounded for wanting to do things ..LIKE,NOW PLEASE FOLKS!!I AM BACK AND WANT YOUR COMPANY!:D Bit like a puppy,can i play now...pant pant...:D :D Give your mates a chance Ross,very frustrating i know..But as one said 'it's weird you being out '..to you it's being re-born and you want to LIVE each moment to the full.Problem is mate to them,it is nothing special,it is just every day life so they wont understand the urgency!:wacko: You could try explaing this to them so they can understand what a slap in the face it feels like when they aere less than enthusiastic..hey mate if we were nieghbours,i'd buy you a pint:) Keep it up Ross,the man done good!Love Paddie.xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
lol Paddington. Yes, I am indeed an Aquarian, not that I know anything about Astrology. Now the puppy bit, I do understand that!
It's weird, I feel like a coiled spring. All this potential energy just dying to become kinetic.
I'm sure it will all work-out in the end (not at a Gym though). :blush:
It's easy, really, just walk up and down the High Street wearing a sandwich board saying "New mates required cos my old ones are crap :D"
Problem solved :yesyes:
Kate
It's easy, really, just walk up and down the High Street wearing a sandwich board saying "New mates required cos my old ones are crap :D"
Problem solved :yesyes:
Kate
:laugh:
I might just do that! :emot-dance:
"i have been applying for jobs, but there is nowt really. Seems like the same old story. Volunteer work is something I have briefly thought about, but discounted it as I don;t know how to go about it. There aren't ever any advertisments in the local paper about it, and I don't know where else to look tbh."
Ross - you are a whizz kid on the computer so there is lots of info !!!!!! - Ive just looked up volunteering in your area for you and here is a link that may help
www.bristolvolunteers.org.uk (http://www.bristolvolunteers.org.uk)
luv darkangel x
eeyorelover
08-05-07, 17:50
Hey Ross -
I got the perfect solution for ya - you need to get married and have a few babies!!!! Then you will be too tired to want to go anywhere - LOL
Just kidding hun:winks:
xxx
Sandy
Lololol Sandy aye that would soon cure him hun xxx
Lindalou64
10-05-07, 14:35
GOOD ONE SANDY LOL.AWWWW ROSS YA KNOW PEOPLE COME AND PEOPLE GO MAN DO I KNOW,THEY ARE THERE WHEN THEY NEED YOU THO, THINK WHERE A TAD TO EASY ....SUCKERS AS I SAY...NO ITS BECAUSE WE ARE GOOD PEOPLES BIG HEARTS AND PEOPLE TAKE ADVANTAGE OF THAT NOT ALL BUT MOST IVE SEEN OVER THE YRS...BUT LIKE YA SAID AND EVERYONE ELSE YA BORN AGAIN YA WANNA GO GO GO.....CANT BLAME YA ..WHAT YA MEAN ON US AMERICANS DONT DRINK LIKE YOU LOL.........HELL SHOW ME A FEW WILL YA ...NO I KNOW WHAT YA SAYING, I WAS GONNA SUGGEST A JOB JUST STAY POSITIVE THINGS WILL START TO ROCK N ROLL FOR YA....IF YA GET THAT BORED LETS DO LUNCH......AT THE LOBSTER BOAT GREAT CHOWDA I HEAR.LOL..TAKE CARE KEEP ON KEEPING ON MY FRIEND......LOVE YA........LINDA XXX
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