Fay13
01-06-17, 10:30
Does anyone have any family members who increase their anxiety, and how do you deal with family obligations to see them? My parents massively increase my anxiety (over Christmas I was there for about 3 days and I was a wreck the whole time). They don’t know about my anxiety – my mum is pretty outspoken and has said in the past that people with mental illness just need to “start being more sensible” – and I don’t want to tell them as I know it would not help. I live about a 45 min drive from them and I almost never see them, they are trying to make me and my boyfriend go round for lunch this weekend and I really don’t want to go, I’ve had such a bad week, anxiety-wise and the idea of it is stressing me out so much, but my mum is laying on the guilt pretty thick. I know I don’t see them very often (people are always appalled that I see my parents probably twice a year) and do feel bad about that, but I don’t want to make myself feel so anxious. I also think my parents are to blame somewhat for some of my issues. I have pretty bad emetophobia and so much of my anxiety is centred around food, and I am fairly sure this is at least partly because of how I was force fed as a child (not told I couldn’t leave the table until I’d eaten, but literally had my nose held until I opened my mouth and then had food forced in, then my mouth held shut while being told that I had better not throw up). Not very surprisingly, this has not made me now eat the foods I was forced to as a child (the smell of carrots basically makes me gag) and going home for lunch to have my parents take the piss about what a fussy eater I am just makes me angry.
TL DR, how do you balance guilt/obligation to see family while not sacrificing your mental health?
TL DR, how do you balance guilt/obligation to see family while not sacrificing your mental health?