Anxiety and wanting to be in a safe place

[beatroon]

Hi everyone

I've got a new symptom with my anxiety which is a desperate desire to be around family who make me feel 'safe' - and/or to be in their actual homes, or home cities. It's driving me mad as I have a perfectly nice home and lovely partner but at times like this, I just want to be with my mum!

Is this something anyone else gets?

B x

[braindead]

DID you leave home to early and still miss your mum, you may be wishing you never left home . is everything ok with your relationship :ohmy:

[beatroon]

Thanks Braindead. No I didn't leave home too early - went to uni at 18 and never lived at home for any length of time since. My relationship has been through its ups and downs but is my main source of stability, I don't understand why I'm feeling so unsafe, when I'm safe here! But I guess that's just the way anxiety works :(

[ana]

I have a number of places I deem 'safe', and they tend to be places with which I have good memories associated. Also, people can be 'safe' as well. Your mum makes you feel safe and secure, which is the opposite of what anxiety makes you feel like, so I think it makes perfect sense you'd want to be with her.
Maybe you can spend a day or so with your mum and then go back home to your partner to try and figure out what it is that you want your mum to provide you with emotionally that you seem to lack at the moment.

[MyNameIsTerry]

I think we all do this in various ways. Some carry a bottle of water, some need someone with them. For some of us we feel the need to retreat to bed.

It makes sense that when afraid we look for something to make us feel secure.

Mum's were the ones we went to for comfort. That's still in our brains so you can understand why we may feel like we need it. And in relationships a partner may never replace a mum in ways like this just as we need our best friends. Everyone has a slightly different purpose for us.

[Mermaid16]

I have this as well, I have my partner and my mum as 'safe' people. I have come to realise though that I am my own 'safe' person. I am the only one that can stop the anxiety from escalating. I can feel the anxiety build before my safe person leaves, but once they are gone I am able to cope with the anxiety and it usually goes. The 'Dare' books by Barry Donough are very helpful. You can get some information about it on the net.