London on the train!

[southernstar66]

I have been going through a bad patch with PAs recently and have been really struggling to make myself work through them trying not to avoid things like going to work and out and about as in the past this has led me to periods of agoraphobia. I have avoided the temptation to take time off work (which itself is a great source of stress). However just when I thought things couldnt get any worse there is now a possibly that I may have to attend a stressful meeting in London due to my work and worse still it is in central London which will mean getting the train! I avoid public transport and have not been on a train for over 2 years (and last time went with my partner) as it causes me great anxiety. So now I feel like not only may I need to attend a stressful meeting in London (dont like that either cos of the crowds etc) I may have to go on the train to get there - a double whammey!

I have tried to sit and think logically about how I get round this ...ie maybe a colleague can come with me ...I can get a taxi from the main station to where we are going but I am just filled with dread at the thought of having to tackle this big hurdle but at the same time I dont have much choice as it is my job:ohmy:

[Jaco45er]

I can sympathise totally.

I have to go into London alot, and I hate it.

I tend to drive to a tube station as close as to where I am going to, and grin and bear it from there.

Its situations like that when the beta-blockers come out.

Have you anything you can take for the journey?

Jaco

[southernstar66]

Thanks for sympathising - I have an emergency supply of Lorazepam which my GP prescribed for me to go on the Euro tunnel so that will take the edge of the anxiety a bit. It makes it harder I think that I dont feel I can tell anyone at my work about it either ...

[Jaco45er]

This might sound a drastic tactic, but I actually did tell people. Not everyone, but my technical director for one (at the time, I am self employed now).

I found this kinda a "do or die" attitude. I just explained that sometimes, in meetings and stuff, and traveling on public transport I can get panic attacks.

He actually was cool about it, which I found out afterwards, he had had panic attacks in the past (not so uncommon me thinks ;)).

It did take a little pressure off certain situations.

I am not saying this is the tactic everyone should take, just my experience.

TC

Jaco

[ksmith]

Hi Southernstar

I have to go to London now and again (from Wales which means going through the flipping tunnel) and I usually have a 2 mg Dialzepam for the journey. I distract myself by going to the buffet when going through the tunnel for a coffee or whatever and people watch to keep me occupied (my work doesn't distract me enough).

I don't even try and get a tube so head straight for the taxi queue (which work won't pay for as they give us tickets with zones on for the tubes). Fortunately I don't have to do it too often but I find thinking about it worse than actually doing it.

Good luck

Kay x

[southernstar66]

Thanks for your advice - I have thought about this more and asked a colleague if they can come with me for support. I would be able to tell this person who is going to be my new manager at the end of the month as I used to work with them so it would be a small step in revealing my difficulties. I find in meetings at the moment that I try to manage it with strategies such as "I can leave if I want to" etc but the train and going to London gives a whole new dimension where that wont work!
I appreciate hearing your experiences - it all helps.

[nomorepanic]

I can sympathise.

Can you drive there instead? Would that be ok for you instead of a train?

[southernstar66]

Hi
If only I could drive but it is in central London in the Strand and however I look at it I will have to go on the train for some of the journey. I had thought about driving as far as I could and then getting the train for the rest of the journey. I will definitely get a taxi from the mainline station as there is no way I can do the tube as well as the over ground. I'm trying to plan my journey as I do for when we go on holiday - ie things to do on the train to distract me and using the Lorazepam if I need it but the big difference with those journies is that my partner comes with me on holiday and it is not at all possible on this occasion due to work commitments:ohmy:

[honeybee3939]

Hi

Have you to travel far to get to london?if so could you maybe go the evening before when it would be alot quieter on the public transport and maybe cheaper tickets too, and find a travel lodge or similar near where you are having the meeting?

Just a thought

love
Andrea
xxxxx

[southernstar66]

Thanks Honeybee that it is a really nice thought. I have to travel from Eastbourne to London which is about 1 hour 30 minutes to Victoria. My meeting is in the Strand so I can get a taxi from Victoria to the strand. The idea of spending a night in London would be more stress for me as I would have to find someone to look after my daughter but the idea in principle is a really good one. Thanks :hugs:

[Breatheon]

Hi

I think distraction is the answer, and at least starting from Eastbourne hopefully you will get a seat.

I travel on the train and tube each day and I think its bad reputation is sometimes unfair (I don't work the Underground by the way!!) and it is a lot quicker than trying to drive into London.

Take care and I hope your journey goes well.

[southernstar66]

Thanks Breatheon I think you are right as this is the technique I use to try and go on holiday. I am going to at least plan my journey in case I do have to make it and then just try and adopt as positive an attitude as I can!

[southernstar66]

Well its been confirmed - I do have to go and its tomorrow! When I found out this morning I was quite stricken with panic but as the day has gone on I have just tried to rationalise my fears and look on the positives. For one thing my manager is coming with me and so I wont have to do the journey alone and we are going from her home town which is a more direct route so we can walk when we get out of the train to the venue. She knows I am anxious about the trip but not really about the PAs and I dont really want her to know. I am trying to see this as a challenge now and think about how I will feel when its over as opposed to trying to think how difficult it will be! I'll let you know how it goes tomorrow - :shades:

[honeybee3939]

Hi Southern Star

Good luck for tommorrow,:) im sure you will be fine:) and will be looking forward to hearing all about your trip when you get home.

Hugs
:hugs:
Andrea
xxxx

[up a ladder]

Southernstar

Had exactly the ame problem a couple of weeks ago..
A couple of days before and I got extremely anxious.
Oddly enough the morning of the meeting, I was not too bad.
When I actually got there, it was okay.

All the best for tommorow and please let us know

[southernstar66]

Well I'm all geared up to go! I've listened to my relaxation CD as soon as I woke up this morning and have been busy getting everything ready checking my bag for all essential things - like print out from this website, CD and Lorazepam (for emergency). I think I do feel almost now like I want the challenge to prove I can do it yet at the same time I'm scared - its weird. Like the first time I went on an airplane after my Fear of flying course. I keep saying the train instead as bad as the plane was but each fear I try and conquer always seems to have something unknown to it. Anyway I have to be off so will let you all know how it goes later ...keep positive thoughts coming my way:hugs:

[honeybee3939]

Hi SouthernStar

Hope today went well for you hun !!:)

Hugs
:hugs:
Andrea
xxxx

[feartie]

Good luck for tomorrow Southern Star!

I've had a similar problem recently with having to get a train through to Glasgow from Edinburgh and found it hard - but I managed! Do you have any books that you find comforting to read in times of stress? If so, take one or two along and try to distract yourself. I like to read "The Power of Now" by Eckhart Tolle, and "Feeling Safe" by William Bloom. Almost anything to read helps if I don't have those...

I really hope the day goes well and you return home feeling empowered!

Linda x

[feartie]

Sorry! Somehow missed the rest of the thread. I hope today went well for you!

Linda x

[southernstar66]

Well I was so tired yesterday I just got in and collapsed in the chair! It was a really positive day in that when I arrived at the train station I kept focused getting my ticket and getting a drink before the train arrived. I felt really anxious getting on the train and waiting for it to leave but tried to keep myself busy reading and talking. Once we were underway I felt initially quite anxious but as the journey progressed it got better. When we arrived in London the whole thing got a bit worse as I was anxious knowing I had to be somewhere at a certain time and the stress of the people and getting lost. However with my manager leading the way I got there ok and despite the meeting being a stressful event too we rushed back to the station to get a train. It was a slightly more stressful journey back as it was packed and I felt more claustrophobic than I had on the way up. I kept trying to think I am on my way home and texting people to keep me occupied. Once we had changed and was on the last leg I just felt wacked out. On the way home in the car I did feel a certain sense of achievement but almost want to do it again without the stressful meeting bit so that I could maybe try and enjoy the journey. I feel I have to do this again soon to prove to myself that it wasnt as bad as I ever thought. Thank you all so much for your support :yesyes:

[feartie]

Hurrah! Well done!!!

Doing it again soon, for pleasure this time, sounds like a very good idea. Hope you do manage to enjoy the journey next time....

Linda x

[honeybee3939]

Hi Southernstar !

http://i110.photobucket.com/albums/n89/lstoner_2006/welldone.gifyou !!!:yesyes:

Even though at times you felt anxious you proved to yourself that nothing bad would happen and it will have boosted your confidence, sounds like the distraction techniques r.e mobile phone worked for you too !!:yesyes:

Im really pleased you managed the trip:yesyes: , what wonderful news !!:yesyes:

Love
:hugs:
Andrea
xxxx