Panthau
07-06-17, 12:34
Im not sure whats going on with me. Ive always had health anxiety but mostly in an intense way for short periods. The last two years this anxiety sky rocketed and i lost my job, which made it worse.
The funny thing is, i learned to handle my anxiety... i even dont care that much about it, when it comes up. But its the effects on my brain that worries me.
First i was afraid of losing my eye sight (i have one bad eye and lots of floaters in the other). I was able to overcome that. Now the last year my short term memory took a toll, which never happend before. I forget things, that i dont pay much attention to an hour or so later ("did i take that pill?") Also concentration problems. Sometimes my mind feels like its shutting down, especially in situations where i have some social interaction (paying at the cash). I also often have a hard time expressing myself, finding the right words. And sometimes i black out when doing tasks i do all the time and forget how to do them for a few seconds. My time perception is slightly distorted, but its getting better lately... often didnt know which day of the week was. All of this happens to some extend when i even feel quite relaxed. So theres this fear of dementia now. Is this really anxiety (or the depression arising from it)?
It seems its a fear of losing control. My childhood was quite bad, more then 10 years of sexual abuse... no wonder my mind wants to stay in control. But its starting to influence my life in a bad way now. I never felt able to do a full time job, but now i feel like even a 10h job is stressing me out.
Im going to do some checkup of my thyroid and blood the next time, just to make sure. But i wonder, will i ever be normal again? At least like 2 years ago, which wasnt normal in the way the word is defined but better then now. I tried so many forms of therapy, only one kind of worked but pulled up things i couldnt handle ("The Journey" by Brandon Bays).
I never tried AD or any other chemical stuff. I wonder if i should take that route, just to function again in everyday life. But it might make things worse, from what ive read...
Can anyone relate with the brainfog thing?
Thanks for reading.
The funny thing is, i learned to handle my anxiety... i even dont care that much about it, when it comes up. But its the effects on my brain that worries me.
First i was afraid of losing my eye sight (i have one bad eye and lots of floaters in the other). I was able to overcome that. Now the last year my short term memory took a toll, which never happend before. I forget things, that i dont pay much attention to an hour or so later ("did i take that pill?") Also concentration problems. Sometimes my mind feels like its shutting down, especially in situations where i have some social interaction (paying at the cash). I also often have a hard time expressing myself, finding the right words. And sometimes i black out when doing tasks i do all the time and forget how to do them for a few seconds. My time perception is slightly distorted, but its getting better lately... often didnt know which day of the week was. All of this happens to some extend when i even feel quite relaxed. So theres this fear of dementia now. Is this really anxiety (or the depression arising from it)?
It seems its a fear of losing control. My childhood was quite bad, more then 10 years of sexual abuse... no wonder my mind wants to stay in control. But its starting to influence my life in a bad way now. I never felt able to do a full time job, but now i feel like even a 10h job is stressing me out.
Im going to do some checkup of my thyroid and blood the next time, just to make sure. But i wonder, will i ever be normal again? At least like 2 years ago, which wasnt normal in the way the word is defined but better then now. I tried so many forms of therapy, only one kind of worked but pulled up things i couldnt handle ("The Journey" by Brandon Bays).
I never tried AD or any other chemical stuff. I wonder if i should take that route, just to function again in everyday life. But it might make things worse, from what ive read...
Can anyone relate with the brainfog thing?
Thanks for reading.