RareNovember
07-06-17, 23:03
First let me preface this, my life actually HAS been ruined by my recent string of health problems. I'm a military aviator, and ever since I first became "sick" I've lost my flying status, and am stuck in limbo in the military medical system waiting months on end for appointments for mental health.
So I'm here because I've seen this forum plenty of times in googles about anxiety, and I finally decided it would be best to share my story and see if anyone has any input on what is going on with me.
It all started in December, right after I finished my flight training. My parents were visiting me, it was one of the happier times in my life. After going out to eat a lot, drinking a lot, etc while they were down to visit I began to develop strange abdominal pain. It wasn't very severe, mild cramping below my rib cage. Eventaully it developed into bloating and a general feeling of nausea, and I went to a general doctor who took some blood, did x-rays, and labeled it as IBS and nothing to worry about. Come back if it gets worse.
At this time I wasn't too concerned, and I went off to visit family for Christmas. During this time I became sicker, developing hot flashes, powerful fatigue, and worse cramping and bloating. I began the downward spiral of health anxiety now. I needed to figure out what was wrong, because a year prior I went in to the doc for some odd stomach problems and they found out I had appendecitis, and had an emergency operation. Ever since then, I take my health more seriously.
Eventually came back to work from Christmas, extremely miserable. Constant cramping, bloating, no idea what was wrong with me. Still no detectable illness in bloodwork, and I never really carried a fever either. My doctor ordered a CT scan, and they looked through it and found only "Minor inflammation of the colon". I talked to a GI specialist (two actually), both seemed not at all concerned but I elected to do a colonoscopy anyways. THey found nothing, and recommended a change in diet.
So now I do that, first thing I tried was gluten free. I had been tested for celiacs, but I knew that some people with IBS had success with it. I messed around with my diet this way for a few months, and eventually started feeling better in my abdomen, and no whenever I eat wheat I get EXTREMELY tired, and have minor cramps. So I have no idea what's up with that, but it works so I haven't changed it.
NOW, all would be fine and fixed if not for a new development that occurred, at the beginning of March. After a night out with friends drinking, I woke up with a hangover that NEVER went away. And this is where my misery today began.
I was lightheaded, light sensitive, generally felt foggy and out of it. In addition, my symptoms seemed accompanied by daily fatigue, head pressure that migrated through different parts of my skull all day, strange tingling sensations in different parts of my body, and had awful trouble falling asleep. Often before REM I would have hallucinations that caused me to jump out of bed, or would feel sensations like suffocating, falling, lots of spasms. This seemingly all came out of nowhere!
I was sent to a TWO neurologists who both concluded nothing was wrong with me, and then had an MRI done anyways of my head, which found nothing concerning to the docs, however they did find a defect with my brain called "partial empty sella" syndrome, which they assured me was congential and nothing I needed to worry about. Still, it wasn't the "perfectly normal" I really needed to hear.
For months now these symptoms have persisted. Every day, some days are worse than others, and my condition rarely improves through the day. It just depends on how I feel when I wake up. Whenever the lightheadedness is really bad, the light sensitivity is also usually worse. Most of my head pressure has migrated away after the MRI (no coincidence right?), but I still experience DAILY lightheadedness and fatigue.
I was beginning to accept that this was ALL health anxiety, until three weeks ago I discovered lumps in my throat that felt odd. They're located about an inch beneath the jaw line, felt roughly the same in mass, are a bit rubbery and can be moved with pressure. My doctor told me they were submandibular glands, nothing to be worried about. I asked an ENT the same thing, and he agreed and was not at all worried.
Still, maybe through OCD I began to play with them a bit frequently because I could swear I had never felt them there before, and soon they became tender and the one on the left was larger than the one on the right.
Now in the last three weeks I have developed:
- Inflammed neck node (glands or lymph nodes, I dont know for sure and apparently neither does my most recent doctor visit yesterday)
- Chronic fatigue that is getting worse
- Shortness of breath - this is entirely new and only randomly came on in the last 3 days. It comes on randomly throughout the day when I'm not even thinking about it or my health. Feels like my breaths aren't very full.
- Hot flashes/chills, especially at night before bed.
In addition to the other symptoms I've listed above. My doctors aren't concerned, and I've been waiting months now to see military mental health (because its underfunded and takes forever to get in). Right now, I feel utterly convinced that I have lymphoma and it's spread from whatever cancer we missed back in December that was mislabeled as IBS. :(
I know this was a whole lot of text, I apologize for that. I'm just fed up with all of this, and I need help understanding why this is health anxiety and not cancer! 6 months of fatigue and feeling ill can't be anything but really bad!
So I'm here because I've seen this forum plenty of times in googles about anxiety, and I finally decided it would be best to share my story and see if anyone has any input on what is going on with me.
It all started in December, right after I finished my flight training. My parents were visiting me, it was one of the happier times in my life. After going out to eat a lot, drinking a lot, etc while they were down to visit I began to develop strange abdominal pain. It wasn't very severe, mild cramping below my rib cage. Eventaully it developed into bloating and a general feeling of nausea, and I went to a general doctor who took some blood, did x-rays, and labeled it as IBS and nothing to worry about. Come back if it gets worse.
At this time I wasn't too concerned, and I went off to visit family for Christmas. During this time I became sicker, developing hot flashes, powerful fatigue, and worse cramping and bloating. I began the downward spiral of health anxiety now. I needed to figure out what was wrong, because a year prior I went in to the doc for some odd stomach problems and they found out I had appendecitis, and had an emergency operation. Ever since then, I take my health more seriously.
Eventually came back to work from Christmas, extremely miserable. Constant cramping, bloating, no idea what was wrong with me. Still no detectable illness in bloodwork, and I never really carried a fever either. My doctor ordered a CT scan, and they looked through it and found only "Minor inflammation of the colon". I talked to a GI specialist (two actually), both seemed not at all concerned but I elected to do a colonoscopy anyways. THey found nothing, and recommended a change in diet.
So now I do that, first thing I tried was gluten free. I had been tested for celiacs, but I knew that some people with IBS had success with it. I messed around with my diet this way for a few months, and eventually started feeling better in my abdomen, and no whenever I eat wheat I get EXTREMELY tired, and have minor cramps. So I have no idea what's up with that, but it works so I haven't changed it.
NOW, all would be fine and fixed if not for a new development that occurred, at the beginning of March. After a night out with friends drinking, I woke up with a hangover that NEVER went away. And this is where my misery today began.
I was lightheaded, light sensitive, generally felt foggy and out of it. In addition, my symptoms seemed accompanied by daily fatigue, head pressure that migrated through different parts of my skull all day, strange tingling sensations in different parts of my body, and had awful trouble falling asleep. Often before REM I would have hallucinations that caused me to jump out of bed, or would feel sensations like suffocating, falling, lots of spasms. This seemingly all came out of nowhere!
I was sent to a TWO neurologists who both concluded nothing was wrong with me, and then had an MRI done anyways of my head, which found nothing concerning to the docs, however they did find a defect with my brain called "partial empty sella" syndrome, which they assured me was congential and nothing I needed to worry about. Still, it wasn't the "perfectly normal" I really needed to hear.
For months now these symptoms have persisted. Every day, some days are worse than others, and my condition rarely improves through the day. It just depends on how I feel when I wake up. Whenever the lightheadedness is really bad, the light sensitivity is also usually worse. Most of my head pressure has migrated away after the MRI (no coincidence right?), but I still experience DAILY lightheadedness and fatigue.
I was beginning to accept that this was ALL health anxiety, until three weeks ago I discovered lumps in my throat that felt odd. They're located about an inch beneath the jaw line, felt roughly the same in mass, are a bit rubbery and can be moved with pressure. My doctor told me they were submandibular glands, nothing to be worried about. I asked an ENT the same thing, and he agreed and was not at all worried.
Still, maybe through OCD I began to play with them a bit frequently because I could swear I had never felt them there before, and soon they became tender and the one on the left was larger than the one on the right.
Now in the last three weeks I have developed:
- Inflammed neck node (glands or lymph nodes, I dont know for sure and apparently neither does my most recent doctor visit yesterday)
- Chronic fatigue that is getting worse
- Shortness of breath - this is entirely new and only randomly came on in the last 3 days. It comes on randomly throughout the day when I'm not even thinking about it or my health. Feels like my breaths aren't very full.
- Hot flashes/chills, especially at night before bed.
In addition to the other symptoms I've listed above. My doctors aren't concerned, and I've been waiting months now to see military mental health (because its underfunded and takes forever to get in). Right now, I feel utterly convinced that I have lymphoma and it's spread from whatever cancer we missed back in December that was mislabeled as IBS. :(
I know this was a whole lot of text, I apologize for that. I'm just fed up with all of this, and I need help understanding why this is health anxiety and not cancer! 6 months of fatigue and feeling ill can't be anything but really bad!