Fear of loosing it.

[Homer47]

Hi. Someone must be the same as what I experience none stop of fearing I will loose control and hit people that are near me. Like I am constantly monitoring myself if I was close to ladhing out. This always comes and goes. But doesn't want to ever go away. Always comes back when I haven't out else to worry about. Does anyone suffer same as this. Thanks. B

[MyNameIsTerry]

Hi Homer,

There will be plenty of people like you, I know I've seen posts about this, articles and experienced it myself.

It's the loss of control issue. Needing to control our lives is a very big issue in anxiety, as I'm sure you know, and this is just another element of that.

In OCD there are various themes that can have this involved e.g. harm-based, POCD, Hit-&-run OCD, Schiz OCD, etc. Sometimes it's even aimed inwards in that you fear selt harm.

The need to keep monitoring yourself is a compulsion and it will just keep the cycle going as it's a reinforcing action - it reinforces the subconscious building a new fear that you need to be protected from.

If you have fears about other mental illness e.g. schizophrenia, then it can be perhaps just a part of that theme?

What you need to remember, aside from the obvious stuff about how OCD sufferers don't act on their intrusive thoughts, is you. Who are you? Are you a violent person? So, if you aren't violent, and haven't been so in your past, why would you start now?

Have you known any violent people? I have and they wouldn't care about this, it's not wrong to them. Your deeper identity is what matters and this won't change because of OCD, in fact it's why we react so afraid of these thoughts on the first place (again, a psychopath, violent person, etc wouldn't react with our fears because it's the norm to them).

[Homer47]

Hi thanks for the reply. I do
Seem to monitor myself when this worry comes in. When the anxiety kicks in when I am near people I always think I was nearly close, gets to the point it's uncomfortable to around people especially at my work when it's worse. This always comes and goes when I don't worry about this subject probably because I,m worrying about something else. It's that feeling you get when you believe your going to act that is the main concern which I no is adrenaline running around my body, but I can see that but it's still feels horrible if you no what I mean.