Guys only want girls in their early 20s

[scaredgirl86]

I'm 30 and I've noticed and read a lot of stuff from guys and it seems they all want girls in their prime which is early 20s. This has destroyed my progress with my anxiety. I don't want to leave my house anymore. I've never been with a guy before it's all I wanted and I want to have a family but I guess I shouldn't bother hoping since I'm "old". I spend my days wishing to be 20 again this way guys will like me which is funny when they didn't like me then either. I still look same too better even but it won't matter to guys since I'm 30. I feel like nothing compared to younger girls now. It sad that guys see this what makes these girls better that's not huge age difference. I don't even want to bother looking for a guy anymore cause what's point they'll reject me. This has been bothering me since I like a guy five years older but he won't date someone my age on early 20s. I don't think those girls are more attractive but it doesn't matter since guys think it. I need advice to what to do or if kshoukd bother to hope for a boyfriend or if it's too late Andy advice is appreciated

[snowghost57]

Who said girls are in their prime in their early 20's? Men are attracted to women their own age whether it be 20, 30 or 40. You are focused on finding a boyfriend instead of enjoying life! Age is all in the mind, I'm 57 and could care less if I have a boyfriend, I have to many other things to do. You think you're old at 30? I don't think so. You are too focused on "I need a boyfriend" in the mean time your life is passing you by. Get out of your head and go out and have fun!

[scaredgirl86]

They say it's scientific or something that they are wired to be atttacted to that age cause they are most fertile or something it's not true but that's what guys think. They did surveys about and that is what results were. They have on that horrible bodybuildingforum with the most shallow loser guys talk about women after 30 are worthless and the redpill guys too who think this it makes me hate guys reading this.

[Phuzella]

Bodybuilders lol what do they know?! No offence if there are any on here :D

[KeeKee]

I've read posts on that forum before when I've kidded myself that I was going to get fit and they sound like a bunch of idiots. Some seem pretty decent but I've noticed a lot of posts where they put each other down.

That being said as I'm approaching 30 myself (well I'm almost 29) I've noticed a lot less male attention. It's making me feel horrendous to be honest, I feel well and truly past it.

[Barry boy]

Scaredgirl you really don't want to be looking on bodybuilding forums for dating advice. If you want to build giant muscles using steroids by all means have a look. No offence to guys who want big muscles but them places are full of f**king idiots.

[bottleblond]

You're 30!. You're young with your whole life ahead of you. Why on earth would you look on a body building forum for statistics.

I went out with a body builder when I was 23. (I'm not by any means saying all body builders are like this). When he wasn't working, he was training. When he wasn't training he was Fake tanning, when he wasn't tanning he was eating. Needless to say it didn't last long before I finished it.

You have your own personality and values and I'm quite sure to the right man, that will mean more than anything.

P.s My friend met her husband when she was 37, had her son when she was 39 and her daughter when she was 41 and a happier family, you couldn't meet.

Lisa:hugs:

[scaredgirl86]

I went on there to see what guys like it's a form of self torture I do I figured they would out down girls they don't like.

[Iwant2bhealthy]

I'm in my thirties and I'm getting more attention from men than when I was younger.

To my experience, majority of men are not as shallow as popular media (or bodybuilder forums) present it. Men are human too, so they also need someone to talk to, and someone to laugh with.

If you want to meet someone my advice is not to look online. Go to a party at a friends house, join a language course or some other group where you are forced to socialise. This way you can have a chance to meet someone without the pressure of a date. And who knows? Maybe you'll like each other enough to meet again?

[Citydeer]

Girl! The only thing destroying your chances is your own self perception! Try to focus on the positives: you probably have better fashion sense than you did at 20 - you know your own style better now, you know what suits you most, you know more about the world so you have more thoughts and opinions to offer in conversation and in general you know more what you are looking for in a partner and life. Any guy who is simply looking at age/for girls younger than them is not the type of guy who is looking for a long term relationship anyway and is not worth your time. It's a good way to rule out the losers! You've gotta love yourself before you can love someone else, so start focusing on all the good things you can offer a partner and your new found confidence will make you even more attractive


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

[snowghost57]

Most fertile? Oh puh leeze, I have cousins, friends that are in their late 40's never had children, never got married. Women are having children later in life as they put their career first. I'm 57, slim, dress nice and I get plenty of attention from men, I really don't worry about it. I'm no here for their entertainment, (thank you Pink) Like I've been telling you. Your 30 go out and enjoy life. Listen to city girl and by the way men no matter what the age will check out girls. I even had a guy blow his horn at me when I was pregnant and I was with my mother! No offense guys but some men are just hound dogs. You need to get past this, your worrying will age your face then you'll be upset about that. Get out of your head and trying to get into guys minds and have fun. How can you share your life with a life time partner if you don't have one?

[scaredgirl86]

Thanks for all the replies. I feel like those younger girls are better even though I look young I feel I have no chance against them but I feel I have no against any other woman either. I've been treated like crap by every guy I've liked they made me feel other girls were better and now it's worse cause they think 30 is different from 29 it's stupid that guys care about age but they do all I've wanted was the a boyfriend the right guy who will love me even as I grow older but I don't see it happening guys hate me and there's nothing I could do to change it

[MyNameIsTerry]

I've read plenty of threads on there where looking into training/supplements.

Honestly, it's bizarre. Very homophobic at times. You might as well use Tool Academy or Big Brother as your example. Very shallow in most cases from what I've seen on BB.com and lots of body shaming going on.

[Barry boy]

To my experience, majority of men are not as shallow as popular media (or bodybuilder forums) present it. Men are human too, so they also need someone to talk to, and someone to laugh with.



Very much agree with this. In the past I have said and done things that I didn't agree with just to fit in. I still see men well into their 40s behaving like it now.
If I don't agree with something nowadays I just keep my mouth shut, unless it's really extreme then I will say something.

Also just like to add, there's nothing wrong with body building. If body building lifts your self esteem and makes you feel better that's great. As with everything just don't over do it.

[Bee84]

My fertile years are exclusively for me and my own femininity, health and worth and never only for procreation.

I honestly couldn't cope with male attention back then! When I first ventured out alone at 15, it was inappropriate and pervy that men were calling out to a 15 - 17 year old it was weird to me but I could've looked older to some. I couldn't wait 'til I got older or had a boyfriend to walk with so it would stop! Leering and catcalling is just rude and it's just so ungentlemanly. It's super embarrassing for me now for some reason probably because my social anxiety is stronger now. I've tried to pretend but I just don't find it flattering.

I'll bet these younger women in their 20s, in relationships with older men are in need of a father figure. I have my own daddy issues but I am not attracted to much older men. At 30 you could easily get the interest of a man in his 40s or 50s so wouldn't the women his age be left feeling the same way you are describing? And their fertility is coming to an end quite sooner than yours would be.

Throughout my childhood years, my mum would talk about how she fell pregnant at 16 and then me at 22 so I deeply believe that aside from the teen years, early 20s is way too young to have children but that's my preference. I'm 32 and I absolutely don't regret it in my wildest dreams and I'm no alpha career woman.

If its relevant to you maybe have a look at your issues surrounding your father. How was he to you growing up? Were you abandoned? Did he respect your mum?

It's deep stuff to go through but our parents are the primary influencers in our lives whether you're aware of it or not. Your father is the first man in your life, if you don't have a dad to call up, spend time with and lavish attention on, you'll do it to to the men you date which is hideously desperate to them. Like barry boy said, men just say stuff and banter in front of their friends to feel manly. Men want a relationship guaranteed.

[akb]

Women are in their prime around their late teens according to my midwife, who's talking about ease of giving birth.

I was a bodybuilder. It is very narcissistic and most women don't want to date those kind of guys.

30 is definitely still young. I agree with the other posters. Stop thinking negatively and go out and enjoy yourself. Your problem is self image which is nothing more than an opinion, not what others think of you

[Fishmanpa]

Age is relative. 30 is younger than anyone older than 30! I've dated women younger, older and the same age as myself. The way I see it, if a man is that focused on age, then he's not worth bothering with anyway.

Positive thoughts

[beatroon]

Hey there, hugs to you, and sorry you're feeling so low.

It sounds as though you are fixating a bit on this thing of not being in your early twenties at the moment. I say that with total love and understanding, it's exactly the kind of thing I would do, and the hallmark of an anxious/depressed mind. It's a symptom of how you're feeling, which is a bit low-self-esteemy I'd imagine, and doesn't represent reality. Anxiety loves to throw in these cognitive distortions. As the other members have testified, men of all ages like people of all ages and are not as picky as the snippet of opinion you have picked up on suggests!

If I were a CBT therapist I'd probably be muttering things about 'all or nothing' thinking and 'black and white' thinking, where you firmly believe a situation can only be one way or the other, based on your past experience or the gloomy predictions of others. But who's to say it has to be that way? Maybe you'll go out tomorrow and meet someone lovely. You just don't know what the future holds.

I would recommend that you stop beating yourself up about what you perceive as wasted time, and focus on the small triumphs that have got you to this point. Make a list of the things you have achieved! For starters, you suffer from anxiety and depression, and yet you have made it through this most pernicious of illnesses all the way to your 30th year, even though you brain has been trying to kill you. That's a triumph, right there, and shows your grit and courage, and you should be proud.

Hope you start to feel better soon, don't let this drive you to despair - you deserve to feel good!

[scaredgirl86]

Thanks all
Very good
advice. I would say none of those guys on the sites are the kind of guy I'm into but I went on there to see what guys think but won't be going on again. Most of what they think isn't true they really think women aren't fertile in their early 30s which is not true. I also think most guys wouldn't know what age woman is from looking. I hate that some shallow guys make me feel all guys are like that which I know is not true. I don't think girls in their early 20s are better a lot of them look aged already from sun and drinking.

[MyNameIsTerry]

Whenever I've been on that site most of the conversations consist of things like "nice wheels brah, no homo", "you got fatceps", "you mirrin" and many other things that make me think of teenage lockerooms.

I need a transalator!

[scaredgirl86]

I have an obsession with my age now I get this hopeless feeling like even if I get rid of my anxiety it's too late cause I'm 30. I missed out on all of my 20s cause of anxiety and there's a lot of things I want to do and I feel it won't be same doing them at 30. I also get stared at given dirty looks by a lot of people when I go out and it makes me feel like I'm nothing. I look same as I did 20s better even but still I'm not that age and i hate feeling old and that those girls are better I really need someone to help with this

[MrDanny]

I have an obsession with my age now I get this hopeless feeling like even if I get rid of my anxiety it's too late cause I'm 30. I missed out on all of my 20s cause of anxiety and there's a lot of things I want to do and I feel it won't be same doing them at 30. I also get stared at given dirty looks by a lot of people when I go out and it makes me feel like I'm nothing. I look same as I did 20s better even but still I'm not that age and i hate feeling old and that those girls are better I really need someone to help with this


You are still young i dont see the problem, i know people way into their 30s and still going out and having fun and doing "20 year old" stuff etc. The people who judge you etc just ignore them, they are not worth it, just do what you want to do and have fun.

[scaredgirl86]

Thank you MRdanny. Your right I shouldn't think like this I let what some guys thought ruin my progress that I was doing. I hope most guys don't think a woman looks best early 20s then that's it. I always thought they worried if they were attractive not their age that's what started this feeling.

[MrDanny]

Thank you MRdanny. Your right I shouldn't think like this I let what some guys thought ruin my progress that I was doing. I hope most guys don't think a woman looks best early 20s then that's it. I always thought they worried if they were attractive not their age that's what started this feeling.


Not everyone is like that the people who are are just vain. Easier said than done saying dont worry (believe me) but in time you will see you shouldnt, anyone with any dignity wouldnt go near those men/women.

[Bee84]

I dreaded turning 30! But then I cried tears of happiness on my big day! The reality is, we can see growing older as a great thing. Immature behaviour sucks. Having babies is basic human nature. There is more.

You are meant to overcome these challenge's in your mind with just the tiniest thought that you may be wrong about this and that there could be a better way. A blind leap of faith. I don't know... There's nothing else to do really during our temporary stay here on earth... There's other ways for you to perceive it if you're open. There's a bigger picture here.

Are you aware of what you're really deep down scared of?

[scaredgirl86]

Thanks MRDanny
Bee- thank you I think I've always been afraid of growing up and also of getting old and dying of diseases

[Phuzella]

Guys or girls like girls or guys for their attitude. Confidence for example or a sense of humour etc. Walking round looking like one has the weight of the world on their shoulders is a big turn off. Seriously work on your self esteem and having a life without thinking of men for a while. Otherwise the years will have flown by and you really will be old. :)

[scaredgirl86]

lol thanks for your reply I know your right but it's difficult to change the way I've been thinking for years

[Phuzella]

Yeah I know but give it a go OK ?

[scaredgirl86]

I will work at it

[MyNameIsTerry]

I've always preferred older women. Even at 41, that hasn't changed, just the age ranges have to go up a bit further.

I agree with Phuzella. A confident woman is an attractive woman. The same for an intellgent woman.

[scaredgirl86]

That's good to know there are guys who prefer older thank you :)