looking4answers
09-05-07, 06:25
I hate feeling this way ..I had a rather good day today .got out and pushed myself to do things I dont normally do yet i felt missed beats all day long.
I have a friend or was my friend that is a nurse that I have yet another night worried all night with persistant questions about health.She says that there is nothing I can do about dying..She says that I dont have the symptoms of heart disease nor any other major failure or disease..
I have told her about my brother dying early ..then i mentioned that he was diabetic and that he may have had sirosis of the liver.Then she came back and said yes its not unusal to die of that combination..early.
I think questioned her about skipped beats and told her that I have rashes of them on certain days like today and she said that If I have them I should go to an ER or gp and let them listen to see if there is anything wrong..
Then she said that i couldnt have major problems because I dont have the symptoms of the problems and that I function too well to have issues..Then she said stop worrying and get on with your life .. I don't understand most of what I have experienced in my life .. doctors have never mentioned other than being anxious.
I was hospitalized one time and had several hundred of what I thought was skipped beats while on a holter the doctor checked and never found one.. That freaked me out.They did test after test after test bran scans with dye and also showing me my heart on a thing like you see a baby on..The cardiologist was sure that there was nothing wrong and i had a strong heartbeat.
Yet I was treated for what they said was tachocardia which later I think that they were treating me for anxiety all these years..They treated me with a mild beta blocker and anti anxiety but told me it was for tachocardia..
I have dealt with missed beats all my life since I was a child..I have had people tell me I hear your heartbeat in your chest or I see your chest moving when your heartbeats,
I even had my regular doctor years ago tell me that my sugar levels were up and then that i was diabetic but that my father being hypoglacemic and my mother diabetic that i would probably be able to control it with a diet..
Over the years since I lost weight and eat better I have had blood test and never anything found that would indicate being diabetic again ..but i discussed this all with her tonight and guess it was more than she could take..
So well she broke off line quickly and told me she had to get up early leaving me with the feeling its all just anxiety ..How could a body be so cruel to you all your life worrying you about things you shouldnt worry about .. making you scared when you shouldnt be scared .
Never knowing why you feel the way you do if its normal or not ,and then why it happens sometimes and why not others.. Its just not fair..For a few years I didnt care I wasnt anxious because frankly I had a dont care i want to die attitude..I dont want to be that person again.I want to love life again and not worry ..
I try hard everyday but im like a lot of you I make people mad with constant questions I fight the battle everyday to just do things that I used to do with ease.Do you just have to go to an attitude of i dont care whether i live or die to feel better about living? Or is that really living..It was great for awhile.. I challenged death but had a death wish I dont want to be that way again..
I just want to free myself of this misery of anxiety and worry ..I hate it with all my heart I want to be free of it.. and free of asking questions ,questions ,questions to most people that dont know the answers..Im not talking about here im talking about medical people that dont know everything but we look to them for support and to tell us we are ok when in fact they dont have a clue..
Everybody raves about not drinking or smoking.The medical community tells us not to drink,not to smoke not to indulge in anything .Could this be correct.My grandfather died at 93 and used to sit on the porch in the evenings laughing at three doctors that told him if he didnt quit drinking and smoking he was going to die...He outlived them and I have outlived two of mine ,im not 93 but 52 ..so what is a person to do.. Just live to you die and dont worry
Or worry everyday and not do anything that you enjoy ..Whats the answer here I want to know what to do ..How to keep from making friends mad and relatives angry asking the same redundant questions am I dying or whats happening with me.Like the doctors know or even your family knows.. nobody knows.. My wife was terminal ill about 14 years ago.They did an operation and told her that you are going to die..go home and get your things in order..
Well she went back two weeks later and the said oops.. we dont know what happened you dont have the disease anymore..What kind of medical personel says you are dying and then you dont..Same with my daughter about 12 years ago..pronouced dying and nothing they could do ..got better went into remission and is healthy ..This all sounds like im complaining but im not.
It just worries me so much .. for them to say your dying and you dont..what is to be of the people that they say you are healthy and have no symptoms..is it the opposite..i mean..when they think you are healthy and positive are you dying..when in fact people they tell are dying are perfectly healthy ..God help us all .. I guess my mother was right ..she always said im going to live till i die son and thats what she did at 79 and the year before she died she said im ready to go and i have had a good life.
I guess people on here could call me the rambling man since most of what i talk about is rambling.I swear to you I am jounaling too but I have the need to tell others my plight my thoughts and ask for answers someone to say hey its ok..We will all be ok..Its apparent the medical industry isnt going to help and its scarry to think of the results of their conclusions.Ill go now and try to sleep..Thank you for your support and patience with me..It means so very much to me ..and I wish all of you could be relieved of this misery too..So much i want this for all of us..God bless you all..
I have a friend or was my friend that is a nurse that I have yet another night worried all night with persistant questions about health.She says that there is nothing I can do about dying..She says that I dont have the symptoms of heart disease nor any other major failure or disease..
I have told her about my brother dying early ..then i mentioned that he was diabetic and that he may have had sirosis of the liver.Then she came back and said yes its not unusal to die of that combination..early.
I think questioned her about skipped beats and told her that I have rashes of them on certain days like today and she said that If I have them I should go to an ER or gp and let them listen to see if there is anything wrong..
Then she said that i couldnt have major problems because I dont have the symptoms of the problems and that I function too well to have issues..Then she said stop worrying and get on with your life .. I don't understand most of what I have experienced in my life .. doctors have never mentioned other than being anxious.
I was hospitalized one time and had several hundred of what I thought was skipped beats while on a holter the doctor checked and never found one.. That freaked me out.They did test after test after test bran scans with dye and also showing me my heart on a thing like you see a baby on..The cardiologist was sure that there was nothing wrong and i had a strong heartbeat.
Yet I was treated for what they said was tachocardia which later I think that they were treating me for anxiety all these years..They treated me with a mild beta blocker and anti anxiety but told me it was for tachocardia..
I have dealt with missed beats all my life since I was a child..I have had people tell me I hear your heartbeat in your chest or I see your chest moving when your heartbeats,
I even had my regular doctor years ago tell me that my sugar levels were up and then that i was diabetic but that my father being hypoglacemic and my mother diabetic that i would probably be able to control it with a diet..
Over the years since I lost weight and eat better I have had blood test and never anything found that would indicate being diabetic again ..but i discussed this all with her tonight and guess it was more than she could take..
So well she broke off line quickly and told me she had to get up early leaving me with the feeling its all just anxiety ..How could a body be so cruel to you all your life worrying you about things you shouldnt worry about .. making you scared when you shouldnt be scared .
Never knowing why you feel the way you do if its normal or not ,and then why it happens sometimes and why not others.. Its just not fair..For a few years I didnt care I wasnt anxious because frankly I had a dont care i want to die attitude..I dont want to be that person again.I want to love life again and not worry ..
I try hard everyday but im like a lot of you I make people mad with constant questions I fight the battle everyday to just do things that I used to do with ease.Do you just have to go to an attitude of i dont care whether i live or die to feel better about living? Or is that really living..It was great for awhile.. I challenged death but had a death wish I dont want to be that way again..
I just want to free myself of this misery of anxiety and worry ..I hate it with all my heart I want to be free of it.. and free of asking questions ,questions ,questions to most people that dont know the answers..Im not talking about here im talking about medical people that dont know everything but we look to them for support and to tell us we are ok when in fact they dont have a clue..
Everybody raves about not drinking or smoking.The medical community tells us not to drink,not to smoke not to indulge in anything .Could this be correct.My grandfather died at 93 and used to sit on the porch in the evenings laughing at three doctors that told him if he didnt quit drinking and smoking he was going to die...He outlived them and I have outlived two of mine ,im not 93 but 52 ..so what is a person to do.. Just live to you die and dont worry
Or worry everyday and not do anything that you enjoy ..Whats the answer here I want to know what to do ..How to keep from making friends mad and relatives angry asking the same redundant questions am I dying or whats happening with me.Like the doctors know or even your family knows.. nobody knows.. My wife was terminal ill about 14 years ago.They did an operation and told her that you are going to die..go home and get your things in order..
Well she went back two weeks later and the said oops.. we dont know what happened you dont have the disease anymore..What kind of medical personel says you are dying and then you dont..Same with my daughter about 12 years ago..pronouced dying and nothing they could do ..got better went into remission and is healthy ..This all sounds like im complaining but im not.
It just worries me so much .. for them to say your dying and you dont..what is to be of the people that they say you are healthy and have no symptoms..is it the opposite..i mean..when they think you are healthy and positive are you dying..when in fact people they tell are dying are perfectly healthy ..God help us all .. I guess my mother was right ..she always said im going to live till i die son and thats what she did at 79 and the year before she died she said im ready to go and i have had a good life.
I guess people on here could call me the rambling man since most of what i talk about is rambling.I swear to you I am jounaling too but I have the need to tell others my plight my thoughts and ask for answers someone to say hey its ok..We will all be ok..Its apparent the medical industry isnt going to help and its scarry to think of the results of their conclusions.Ill go now and try to sleep..Thank you for your support and patience with me..It means so very much to me ..and I wish all of you could be relieved of this misery too..So much i want this for all of us..God bless you all..