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amyamyamy14
11-06-17, 17:59
I've had anxiety since I was 11, but health anxiety has been a major issue of mine since I was 18 (I'm 24 now). It all kicked off for me after getting pea-sized swollen lymph nodes in my neck. After that, I've diagnosed myself with every illness on the planet. It's very obsessive and takes over my life. I withdraw myself from daily tasks because I'm googling symptoms.

My twin sister discovered a grape size painless lymph node in her armpit around 6 weeks ago (but she only said something last week). She had an ultrasound last week, her breast came back clear (thankfully as our mum had stage 2b breast cancer), but the radiologist wants to still do a fine needle biopsy next week to rule out cancer. Our general doctor just thinks it's caused by hormonal reasons, but I'm convinced she has lymphoma. I can't find any evidence that suggests that such a lump is normal.

My parents are angry at me for scaring her, but I can't get lymphoma out of my head. Like I said, I get obsessive over illnesses. I'm feeling so anxious about her biopsy and I hate the fact that I'm making her scared, but I can't help it. I'm addicted to Dr. Google.

Fishmanpa
11-06-17, 18:04
I can't help it. I'm addicted to Dr. Google.

As with any addiction, if one doesn't have the inner fortitude to break it, professional help is required. Perhaps that's something you should consider.

Positive thoughts

Melonpony
11-06-17, 18:22
Agree w seeking professional help. I'm sorry you are going through this. I can relate, and can assure you that therapy DOES help manage and limit the anxiety.

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amyamyamy14
12-06-17, 05:25
I did therapy 4 years ago and my therapist said my health anxiety becomes an issue as I use it as a distraction without knowing. Perhaps I should reconsider doing therapy again, though I'm not sure if I can afford it atm. I was on Lexapro for a few years but came off them last November as I found it too emotionally numbing (which was difficult being a creative writer). Ever since stopping, my health anxiety is now at an all time high. I've also been taking more Diazepam than usual since stopping Lexapro to help numb my health anxiety.

I just hate that I'm freaking out my sister. She's already scared about having a biopsy on this lymph node and if it is something, the last thing she needs is me getting bad thoughts in her head. It's an endless cycle.

My twin sister is my best friend (I don't have many friends unfortunately) so the thought of losing her or her getting really sick scares me so much