lunar.lotusblossom
11-06-17, 22:52
I feel somewhat embarrassed posting on here, as my health anxiety is something I have largely kept to myself, but it has gotten to a point where I seriously need help and this forum seemed like a good place to start.
I am an (ostensibly) healthy 21-year-old university student. I have a history of Generalized Anxiety Disorder, OCD, and anorexia, but for the past 4-5 years, my symptoms have been well under control. That is, until about 9-10 months ago, when I transformed from a happy, energetic young woman into an anxious, reclusive mess, seemingly out of the blue. Over the course of these months, I have experienced chest pain (which, on one occasion, sent me to the emergency room where a chest x-ray and an EKG came up totally normal); tingling/pins and needles in my face, arms, and legs; neck tension; feelings of being "off balance;" visual "snow" and floaters; heavy feelings of pressure in my head; intermittent joint pain; alternating bouts of constipation and diarrhea; hot flashes; brain fog; abdominal cramping; perceived muscle weakness (though, it should be noted, I can still exercise and lift relatively heavy things); difficulty swallowing (rarely when actually swallowing food or beverage, mainly just when swallowing saliva); random dull pains all over my body; extreme dry mouth; sleep paralysis; and, most recently, random, almost imperceptible muscle jerks. I have also experienced some significant anxiety related to my studies over the course of the past several months, though interestingly, during these periods, the aforementioned physical sensations seemed to become less noticeable.
The most unnerving thing is that none of these physical symptoms are outwardly visible at all, so everyone, even my doctors, are convinced that they are all in my head. While I accept that the symptoms may be anxiety-related, I am certain that the sensations are real.
When I went to the doctor less than a month ago, a complete blood panel came back totally normal, as did standard neurological tests. I haven't gotten any scans yet, as my doctor is reluctant to send me, as she chalks the symptoms up to anxiety. She's been my doctor since I was four years old, and usually I trust her, but I am finding it incredibly difficult to believe that there is nothing wrong with me, given that I feel so miserable. The most frustrating thing about it is that when one set of symptoms disappears, another crops up. Over these past several months, at various times, Google has convinced me that I have heart disease, stroke, MS, a brain tumor, ALS, colon cancer, salivary gland cancer...you name it, I've "had" it. I feel as if I'm going completely mad. Every day, I either feel as if either my death or complete mental breakdown is imminent.
So, I suppose I'm just asking for advice and reassurance. What has helped you? How can I get through this? I just want to get back to feeling like myself.
NOTE: I am a vegetarian, eat very healthily, exercise for an hour a day, and drink very little, but I have been smoking 5-8 cigarettes a day for the last 2 years (ironically, to cope with anxiety). I know that smoking is terrible for one's health, and I sincerely plan to quit, but could this level and duration of smoking have already caused severe health problems?
I am an (ostensibly) healthy 21-year-old university student. I have a history of Generalized Anxiety Disorder, OCD, and anorexia, but for the past 4-5 years, my symptoms have been well under control. That is, until about 9-10 months ago, when I transformed from a happy, energetic young woman into an anxious, reclusive mess, seemingly out of the blue. Over the course of these months, I have experienced chest pain (which, on one occasion, sent me to the emergency room where a chest x-ray and an EKG came up totally normal); tingling/pins and needles in my face, arms, and legs; neck tension; feelings of being "off balance;" visual "snow" and floaters; heavy feelings of pressure in my head; intermittent joint pain; alternating bouts of constipation and diarrhea; hot flashes; brain fog; abdominal cramping; perceived muscle weakness (though, it should be noted, I can still exercise and lift relatively heavy things); difficulty swallowing (rarely when actually swallowing food or beverage, mainly just when swallowing saliva); random dull pains all over my body; extreme dry mouth; sleep paralysis; and, most recently, random, almost imperceptible muscle jerks. I have also experienced some significant anxiety related to my studies over the course of the past several months, though interestingly, during these periods, the aforementioned physical sensations seemed to become less noticeable.
The most unnerving thing is that none of these physical symptoms are outwardly visible at all, so everyone, even my doctors, are convinced that they are all in my head. While I accept that the symptoms may be anxiety-related, I am certain that the sensations are real.
When I went to the doctor less than a month ago, a complete blood panel came back totally normal, as did standard neurological tests. I haven't gotten any scans yet, as my doctor is reluctant to send me, as she chalks the symptoms up to anxiety. She's been my doctor since I was four years old, and usually I trust her, but I am finding it incredibly difficult to believe that there is nothing wrong with me, given that I feel so miserable. The most frustrating thing about it is that when one set of symptoms disappears, another crops up. Over these past several months, at various times, Google has convinced me that I have heart disease, stroke, MS, a brain tumor, ALS, colon cancer, salivary gland cancer...you name it, I've "had" it. I feel as if I'm going completely mad. Every day, I either feel as if either my death or complete mental breakdown is imminent.
So, I suppose I'm just asking for advice and reassurance. What has helped you? How can I get through this? I just want to get back to feeling like myself.
NOTE: I am a vegetarian, eat very healthily, exercise for an hour a day, and drink very little, but I have been smoking 5-8 cigarettes a day for the last 2 years (ironically, to cope with anxiety). I know that smoking is terrible for one's health, and I sincerely plan to quit, but could this level and duration of smoking have already caused severe health problems?