Mav
14-06-17, 22:59
Hi everyone! I really want to write this post for anyone suffering with terrible anxiety right now, I just want to tell you that one day, things will be easier to handle. I just want to give you hope incase you're in a dreadful place right now.
For me, it all started with palpable "lumps" that I discovered were lymphnodes, and then upon googling lymphnodes I found out a lot of lovely things about them...things that ruined many, many weeks on end for me.
It's been 7 months now, I have had various tests and everything came out okay. In those 7 months, the C-word became the "unmentionable" for me. Seeing the C-word adverts, randomly popping up in articles (tabloids were the worst) or during my pleasurable reading time (which would turn reading very unpleasurable for me and I'd just shut the book and go to bed).
I can honestly say I'm much better now. It wasn't easy, and I can't say I'll always be like this. Maybe I will find a newer symptom and be back here again in a few months or years, but I am better and I'm going to cease the day. I know things are better because I can watch/read cancer related things and I don't feel absolutely frightened to death, even though I still have palpable lymphnodes or other symptoms I may have regarded as sinister all those months ago. Actually, upon watching cancer related videos I learnt to face the fear. I have learnt that it can happen to anyone, it could still happen to me but I'm not going to spend days consumed by something that may or may not happen.
Cancer isn't what we imagine. A lot of fear comes from not understanding the illness we fear, and the reality of it in the world. Many survive it, those who don't still laugh, smile, and do all the things we still can do, they just do it with an illness.
It really all comes down to how we think about these things, the truth is nobody wants the pain of having to go through an illness, but we are all stronger than we think.
We have many fighters amongst us in this world, many strong individuals that cancer doesn't destroy or deteriorate, including those who haven't survived it.
I think, cancer from a someone with health anxiety seems like the worst possible thing that could happen, but in another persons eyes, being drowned or burnt alive might be a worse way to die. It's all about prespective and how people see things.
We all die, and thank goodness for that XD just think of the implications of going on forever?
I think I just wanted to tell anyone who lives with a fear of cancer, I know how debilitating it can be, but things get better. I wish you all health and happiness.
But I honestly know at 19, I would never have appreciated life as much as I do if I hadn't gone through this torment, we all live and learn. :)
---------- Post added at 22:59 ---------- Previous post was at 22:53 ----------
also, I'm not perfect. I still have moments of doubt. I do sometimes fiddle with the nodes at start spiraling, but things get better, time does wonders but so does positive thoughts over the negative sinister ones.
For me, it all started with palpable "lumps" that I discovered were lymphnodes, and then upon googling lymphnodes I found out a lot of lovely things about them...things that ruined many, many weeks on end for me.
It's been 7 months now, I have had various tests and everything came out okay. In those 7 months, the C-word became the "unmentionable" for me. Seeing the C-word adverts, randomly popping up in articles (tabloids were the worst) or during my pleasurable reading time (which would turn reading very unpleasurable for me and I'd just shut the book and go to bed).
I can honestly say I'm much better now. It wasn't easy, and I can't say I'll always be like this. Maybe I will find a newer symptom and be back here again in a few months or years, but I am better and I'm going to cease the day. I know things are better because I can watch/read cancer related things and I don't feel absolutely frightened to death, even though I still have palpable lymphnodes or other symptoms I may have regarded as sinister all those months ago. Actually, upon watching cancer related videos I learnt to face the fear. I have learnt that it can happen to anyone, it could still happen to me but I'm not going to spend days consumed by something that may or may not happen.
Cancer isn't what we imagine. A lot of fear comes from not understanding the illness we fear, and the reality of it in the world. Many survive it, those who don't still laugh, smile, and do all the things we still can do, they just do it with an illness.
It really all comes down to how we think about these things, the truth is nobody wants the pain of having to go through an illness, but we are all stronger than we think.
We have many fighters amongst us in this world, many strong individuals that cancer doesn't destroy or deteriorate, including those who haven't survived it.
I think, cancer from a someone with health anxiety seems like the worst possible thing that could happen, but in another persons eyes, being drowned or burnt alive might be a worse way to die. It's all about prespective and how people see things.
We all die, and thank goodness for that XD just think of the implications of going on forever?
I think I just wanted to tell anyone who lives with a fear of cancer, I know how debilitating it can be, but things get better. I wish you all health and happiness.
But I honestly know at 19, I would never have appreciated life as much as I do if I hadn't gone through this torment, we all live and learn. :)
---------- Post added at 22:59 ---------- Previous post was at 22:53 ----------
also, I'm not perfect. I still have moments of doubt. I do sometimes fiddle with the nodes at start spiraling, but things get better, time does wonders but so does positive thoughts over the negative sinister ones.