Discussing Some Topics

[Rick(amateur)]

Hi everyone! I'm Rick and I've joined this forum somewhat recently. What I have in mind here is to just discuss my thoughts on topics I found related to anxiety. The topics have no specific order as I'm going with a list I simply made on paper. This is very subjective and just meant to share my view. If you have a different take, feel free to post below as I enjoy listening to different perspective. :)

-Expectations-

We have expectations for ourselves and so does our loved ones. One classic example is our parents having expectations of us going the "safe" route where kids go to school, get a degree and then get the job in that field. I'm sure everyone have heard of the life advice from their relatives and friends regarding their future.

One problem is, by trying to meet the expectation of your parents or other people, you are trying to become the person they want to see in you. You aren't being yourself and, as a result, you sacrificed your own happiness and future. We all had big dreams when we were young. Some of us want to be singers, writers and other profession. Then, our parents tell us that we cannot make a living out of those and be more realistic.

Take me for example. I went to university because I listened to my parents. I believed in their advice about going to school. Now that life is a mess for me, I'm starting to question if I made the right decision. Lots of people probably listened to parents and, when it doesn't work out, they question whether they made a mistake to listen to others. In addition, we also get into a situation where, since this wasn't our passion to start with, we lack the motivation and drive to overcome difficulties.

Life will have ups and downs regardless of what we do. What makes us keep moving forward is a drive or passion that we really want to succeed in a certain thing. When we do things that make other people happy but make ourselves miserable, we basically give up and don't want to do it anymore once failure and tough challenges come around. I've decided that, regardless of what my parents say, I need to pursue a dream I'm passionate about. I will encounter obstacles for sure but, at the very least, I will welcome the challenges as each one gets me closer to my dream.

[LadyPoldark]

After reading this I think I've realised how much high expectations from childhood have affected my anxiety. At cognitive behavioural therapy I was told that I pretty much grew up to be afraid of failure, as such doing new things frightens me, one of the many reasons I cannot drive is my fear of making mistakes. That makes me anxious in itself because I hate it when people ask me 'why I can't drive' and I have to mumble some excuse about not getting around to it...so yes there's another expectation in itself.

[Rick(amateur)]

After reading this I think I've realised how much high expectations from childhood have affected my anxiety. At cognitive behavioural therapy I was told that I pretty much grew up to be afraid of failure, as such doing new things frightens me, one of the many reasons I cannot drive is my fear of making mistakes. That makes me anxious in itself because I hate it when people ask me 'why I can't drive' and I have to mumble some excuse about not getting around to it...so yes there's another expectation in itself.

Thanks for reading! :)

I'm sure you aren't the only one who had grown up afraid making mistakes. It's the way our schools taught us which is a terrible way to live our lives. I will one day get to this but I have quite a few topics to cover before I get there. I know it's difficult now but you must learn that failure is part of life. They say experience is the best teacher and each mistake is a lesson that gets you closer to success. :)

---------- Post added at 09:34 ---------- Previous post was at 08:17 ----------

-Expectations 2-

For most of our lives, we're trying to meet the expectations of other people like parents, teachers and employers. I personally felt the need to change my mindset and have my own expectations of myself. Have goals and dreams that I wish to pursue.

If you told me five years ago I should try door to door sales where I knock on doors of complete strangers and talk to them, I'd tell you that you're crazy as I was an introvert. I see this as something impossible and, yet, I managed to do a month of it. I couldn't make a living off of it but I managed to do it consistently for a month and learn a lot from it. If I could do this, what else could I accomplish that was supposedly impossible?

When people say something is impossible, I'm starting to see it as they themselves think it's impossible. As someone with different experiences and skills, you could do what they think is impossible. Before people were sent into space, there are so many people who think such a task is impossible. We have achieved that so the impossible suddenly became possible. In other words, other people's expectations are similar to the expectations they put on you. What they think is impossible is believed to be impossible for you as well.

When you start making your own expectations and make them higher than what other people put theirs at, you will push harder to reach bigger goals. You have belief that you can accomplish what others see as impossible. Sure, it won't be easy as you must work hard and persevere. Look at the athletes who compete in the Olympics. They had untold challenges and difficulties to get to where they are at. What we see is just the result of their hard work and many athletes will likely tell you that competing is the easy part.

You are also the only one who can make expectations for yourself since only you know yourself well. Your own expectations reflect what you're capable of. Other people's expectations are lower and, while you will reach it, you won't ever unlock your full potential. So what if you dream big for something that seems impossible. Sure, no one else had done it. What better accomplishment than being one of the few or the first person to achieve something great. Other people's expectations will make you mediocre. You own expectations will push you higher than what other people can only imagine. Live your own life and stop living what other people want to see in you.

[Rick(amateur)]

-Success-

We must first know how we define success. There's this common image of success related to being in the top 1% bracket. To have financial freedom and basically have more money than you need. This is, however, an image portrayed in our society.

From a young age, we've been told that we want to be successful and not failures. In doing so, we were told that we mustn't make mistakes while we must aim for high but realistic goals. That's why we're told to go to school, get a degree, get a job and then work our way up. Naturally, a lot of people will want to be CEO of a company. Yet, there are only so many CEO position available while there are so many people working below them. In other words, the odds are still against you in these advice given to you by your parents and teachers.

Let's not forget that our own definition of success is different. This is the same with expectations where we must chart our own path instead of trying to follow a norm of our society. I'm not saying you cannot be CEO but it's certainly possible that this isn't the future you see yourself in. Sure, your odds in succeeding anything else is equally low but your passion and drive will get you further than doing something you hate. I cannot emphasize how many people I know who hate their 9-5 job and wished they did something differently.

I believe the saying that money cannot buy you happiness. If getting all that money forces you to do a job you hate or do something you never feel proud of, then would you define it as success? If making money is your only goal, that can be defined as success. Yet, I'm sure a lot of people want more than what money could offer them in life. They want a purpose in life.

Now, what is my definition of success? I just want to make a comfortable living doing what I love and help people at the same time. I don't need to be a millionaire or billionaire, though I do believe that, when success comes my way, those are achievable if I wish for them. Some people might say my standards are too low and I should aim higher. My response is my dream job is different from other people. I don't want a 9-5 job. There are challenges I face along the way and I intend on overcoming them. I feel that, if I achieve my dream, I'd accomplish more than a lot of people could ever hope to accomplish. After all, I decided to listen to myself rather than those around me.

[Rick(amateur)]

-Success 2-

We cannot talk about success without talking about failure. I'm sure many people, like me, don't want to fail in life. Even at school, we were told to not make mistakes and fail. For instance, we have tests where, for each mistake we make, we lost marks. Essentially, we will fail if we make enough mistakes. I feel this isn't a healthy mentality since mistakes and failures are part of life.

We all know that experience is the best teacher. We could read all the books and listen to the wisdom of all the people but these cannot compare to the things we personally experience. When you're afraid to make mistakes as you fear failure, you start going the "safe" route that is often going to school, get a degree and get a job afterward. However, there are no "safe" path since life is filled with ups and downs. Lots of people have been unjustly fired from work and suddenly they're unemployed. This is just an example of what we face in life.

Using me as an example, I'm relieved I experienced failure when I did. I'm still young, single and have more options in life without my options being limited and hands being tied. Imagine if I was married and had children when I lost my job. In this scenario, I have other people relying on me and risks are worse since more people are affected. Likely, I have to find another job I hate to support the family and it simply gets worse. At the moment, I can pursue my dreams and, if things don't work out, I'm the only one affected. I don't even need to worry and have the guilt about harming my loved ones.

Don't be afraid to make mistakes. By learning from these mistakes, you'll reach better goals and go further in life. If you are too afraid and try to go "safe" paths, you will learn that you eventually have to pay the price. It might not be too late for regret and change then but you will have a much steeper path ahead of you. You cannot eliminate mistakes and failures in life so accept and embrace them. Use them to get further ahead as opposed to seeing them as the demons that stop you from moving forward. When you can accept mistakes and failures in life, you'll find that life becomes a little easier since you aren't fighting a natural part of life.

[Hollow]

Good posts mate, i agree there is a lot of pressure in life to follow a certain path, get a degree, get a job, get married. Also the added pressure of your parents depending on you. And when things go wrong for example me having to my quit my job, the only good thing in my life, it's hard to come back after that.

[Rick(amateur)]

Good posts mate, i agree there is a lot of pressure in life to follow a certain path, get a degree, get a job, get married. Also the added pressure of your parents depending on you. And when things go wrong for example me having to my quit my job, the only good thing in my life, it's hard to come back after that.

Thanks! We are all faced with a lot of pressure in life regardless of what path we take. I think it's better we take a path we like so we will enjoy the journey and, if things don't go well, we won't be busy blaming others. Once we set out on the path we want to go on, we won't ever want to go back to our old lives. :)

---------- Post added at 12:33 ---------- Previous post was at 11:25 ----------

-Success 3-

Too often in our lives, we are too focused on the destination. For those in sales, there's a quota we must meet. At school, there's a grade we want to get when we get our report card. Destination is more of a guideline of where we want to go and treating it as more than that will make our life more difficult.

What we should focus on and enjoy is the journey itself. Dreams aren't easy to reach and often require a long journey. If all you focus is the destination, then you'll soon lose hope as the destination seem no closer and you lose motivation to keep going. If you enjoy every moment of the journey through the ups and downs, you will, even in the situation of never reaching the destination, find the journey rewarding and fulfilling which essentially give you a sense of accomplishment.

For most people like me, the start of the journey will be a lonely one. When we pursue our dreams, our family and friends will be opposed to it. They want us to pursue the norms dictated by society. If we stumble during this stage, we need to pick ourselves up and keep going. We have no one to turn to regarding our problems so we must learn to cope ourselves. This is the growth that people experience allowing to succeed later in life.

The great thing about these journeys is that we will meet like-minded people. These are people with similar dreams who understand you and will have your back. They are no different from you, even if they have slightly different destination and different method on how they reach their destination. You needn't put up an act or be someone else where you interact with these people. They are attracted to you because you follow your dreams. Such acceptance is something we all need as we could be true to ourselves as well.

Another benefit of this journey is the small accomplishments along the way. These might not seem like much but, as you accumulate them, you'll feel a real sense of pride in yourself while building up your confidence in your abilities. Meanwhile, you should learn as much as you can on the journey and make friends along the way. This is essentially why I said you must do something you love. That way, you love every moment of the journey and reach the destination before you realize it.

Then, you want more of this so you pick a further destination and are eager for more of the journey. You continue to enjoy this which basically is your life. You can pick a journey you love and enjoy or pick one picked by others and regret every moment of it. There are no short journeys in life nor one without hardships and challenges. We just got to pick which journey we want.

[Rick(amateur)]

-Success 4-

We all know about shortcuts where we are trying to reach a destination and the shortcut allows us to get there quicker. I gave the impression in the last entry that the journey is more important than the destination. We grow, learn and become a better person during our journey.

I like to see success as an accumulation of a lot of smaller successes. We could see these smaller successes as tiny building blocks. As a gamer, I like to use game analogies to get my point across. Let's say we are in a game where we need to collect a lot of coins or building blocks to get an achievement. To gather all of these, we need to explore the entire map. If we don't collect all the items, we won't even get a trophy.

This is true with real life as well. If we take shortcuts, we miss out on opportunities and people, both of which could play a critical role in our success. Once we reach the supposed destination, we discovered that the success we achieved was much less than what we expected. That's only due to us skipping so many experiences in life that could've created more success. By taking shortcuts, we are only fooling ourselves into thinking that there's a quicker way when there is none.

I learned this the hard way with university. I was more or less slacking in first and second year of university resulting in a weak foundation overall. This weak foundation becomes more apparent later in school when I struggle in courses. It didn't have to be like this and, in hindsight, I should've worked harder. I was taking shortcuts where I put less work and I got less result out of it. The world is fair in that aspect. We get as much as we invest in.

We all have 24 hours in a day regardless of where we are at. The only difference is how we use those 24 hours. We can either work hard, give it 120% and push for our dreams or we can wander aimlessly, take whatever shortcuts that may appear and have regrets later in life. I have been in the latter camp and working hard to change myself so I can be in the former camp.

[Rick(amateur)]

-Success 5-

When there are no shortcuts, we must take the entire journey. As a result, we cannot hope to achieve success without investing a lot of time into it. This is obvious with the successful people we see in our society. We only see the outcome of their hard work and the time they invested into it.

One example I like to use is the Olympics. The athletes don't actually compete for very long if you look at what they compete in. Yet, it's the hard work and the time they spent outside of the competition. The endless hours of training and working towards their goals. They had to not only push their own limits but also compete for a spot to represent their country.

Time is really a valuable resource. If you run out of money, you can go earn more of it. Since time only moves forward, the time you use up isn't coming back. I admit that I do procrastinate from time to time and working hard to change all of that. I'm 25 now and those 25 years aren't coming back to me. I have regrets about how I used those time but I'm still relatively young and, if I make use of my time from the present onward, I can make my dream come true.

People tend to forget that everyone have 24 hours in a day. What separates the successful people and those who wander aimlessly in life is how they use their time. Back to the example of the athletes, these people work every single day pushing their limits. People who go to the gym regularly likely won't come close to these athletes since the difference in the time invested is noticeable.

There's a mentality we must have when we have found our purpose. There are people who have all these dreams but they never get started in their pursuit. As a result, each day that's gone is a day lost in getting them closer to the dream. That's why I'm working hard to make better use of this valuable resource. No one can take away my time and proper use of it will get me further.

Use your time wisely! Don't even pray for a time machine since that will cause more problems. Time, along with hard work and perseverance, will get you to the success you always wanted.

[Rick(amateur)]

-Success 6-

Regardless of what we want to achieve, we will always encounter critics who tell us that we cannot do it. Sadly, a lot of the people who critique us are people we care about. Usually, it's our parents who don't approve of our dreams. I personally have this issue where my parents would rather have me attend school to get a degree as opposed to pursuing my dreams.

The thing about success is that is doesn't come easy since there are no shortcuts. During this long journey, we will have moments where we doubt ourselves and wonder if we made the right decision. The truth is the only person who can talk us out of our dreams is ourselves. I believe that, if you are pursuing your dream, you need to get through the highs and lows because you'll later look back at the path you took and say you have no regrets.

The critics tell you that you cannot do it because they don't think they can do it and they lack the confidence in you in doing the seemingly impossible. No one knows you better than yourself but don't let them bother you. They'll always be there and there's nothing more satisfying than silencing your critics by doing what seems impossible. You need confidence and put faith into yourself to make your dream come true and find success in life.

There will be days you don't want to get out of bed. There will also be days when you consider quitting altogether. Critics will be there during the lowest part of our journey. Let's say a person hasn't been doing well with his/her business. The critics will be the loudest at this moment with the "I told you so" mentality. These are the biggest challenges in our lives so we must be determined to weather the storm.

For me, the idea of helping myself and other people are what keeps me going regardless how the situation goes. I want my dream to become a reality and achieve the success that has my name on it. I won't let my critics, including my parents, from stopping me from achieving that. There will come a day where I find success and even my parents will admit that they were wrong about me. I look forward to that day!

[Rick(amateur)]

-Success 7-

Last entry, I was talking about how we will encounter critics along the way to our dreams and success. Sometimes, the critics can be those very close to us. My message was to keep going and not let them bother you.

After experiencing some events in life and watching numerous motivational videos, I see a clear difference between those who find success and those who wander aimlessly in life. What separates them is perseverance. And if anyone of you have seen my website, you'll see the image of a mountain.

I find the mountain to be a perfect analogy for life. Basically, we start at the very bottom and our dreams along with success are found at the highest peak of the mountain. Naturally, we wouldn't be able to reach the peak very easily. We need to condition our body and work regularly to reach newer heights. What makes this mountain more challenging is that, when we stop pushing, we start sliding back down until, given enough time, we'll be at the base again.

To climb this mountain, we'll need to persevere. There might be harsh weather like storms that threaten to knock you back down. There will also be moments you get sick and feel like you cannot get up, let alone make progress. During these days, we need to learn how to continue pushing and moving forward. Most importantly, we got to learn to keep looking up.

If we are too busy looking down, we can easily dwell on a past that we no longer have control over. When you look up, you will keep your focus on where you're headed. Of course, it might appear that you aren't making any progress since the peak looks no closer than before. Know that progress is being made but you need time to really notice it. It might not appear so but, as long as you continue pushing and never give up, you will eventually see the results of your hard work.

Know that the challenges in life aren't going to be easy to overcome. We deal with critics, financial problems and health problems to name a few. These things can slow you down but, as long as you haven't given up, you will overcome them and move slowly towards your dream. Along the way, avoid making excuses like you don't have enough money or you're too old. With perseverance, you'll go much further than those who had given up on their dreams, some of whom gave up before they even began.

Be optimistic and remember you have more control over your life than you think. Each challenge in life is a lesson that makes you wiser and stronger. When you reach your dreams and find success, you'll be standing at the peak looking down. Once you're there, you can tell others how you began at the base of the mountain and now stand above all others. That would make you feel fulfilled and happy as you made something of your life.

[Rick(amateur)]

-Success 8-

While chasing our dreams, we tend to have a habit of making excuses. For example, I blamed my professors when my studies weren't going well. The thing about excuses is that it's so easy to make. I don't have enough time. I don't have enough money. If we don't want to do something, we can make excuses with ease.

The problem with excuses is that we are trying to blame other people or other things. The cruel truth is that we are the reason why we aren't succeeding. Yet, we are busy blaming others. The time we used to blame others could be instead used to further our goals and get closer to our dreams. In addition, blaming others also see us dwelling on the past and unable to focus on the present and future.

The other issues with blaming others is basically trying to justify that our problems are out of our control. We cannot control how another person respond or how the economy will work. Essentially, we are trying to say that these problems are caused by things out of our control and we basically cannot fix it. This is a dangerous mindset where we convince ourselves that we cannot change anything due to all these external factors.

I've done that before when I couldn't find a job or internship. I blamed society for my problems so I had to accept what was given to me. After some thinking, I realized that this isn't the case. I played a role for my failures. I could've worked harder at school so my grades aren't suffering. With better grades, I could've found internship opportunities.

Another common excuse is I don't have enough time. I used to use that excuse a lot. Looking back, I realized that I could change that. I use to watch a lot of YouTube videos that contribute nothing to my life other than serving as entertainment. If I ever think I need more time, I could cut down on watching videos and use the time for something more productive. Of course, I also procrastinate which means more time is wasted as a result. These time could have been used for my dream and who knows how far I'd get if I had dedicated more time into it.

A lot of these excuses really makes no sense if you look at them. If you need to blame someone, blame yourself since this will put the responsibility on you. When you put the burden on you, you are in the mindset where you control your present and future as opposed being at the mercy of other people's decision. Sure, there are things we cannot control like our family and the environment we grow up in. Yet, we can change our situation by taking charge of where we are headed and how we want to see ourselves in 5, 10 or 20 years from now.

[Rick(amateur)]

-Success 9-

We will encounter doubt on our journey to our dreams and success. Doubt is natural since we are moving out of our comfort zone. For example, you wouldn't have doubt if you have done something for over 20 years. You are comfortable with it and have plenty of confidence in yourself as you more or less mastered the task.

When doubt arises, it's normal so don't treat it like it's deadly and would stop you from accomplishing your dreams. Just note that doubt is a sign of you stepping into the unknown. You are pushing your boundaries. This might be terrifying and doubt may cause you to wonder if you made the right decision or not.

You must remember that if we stick with the status quo. A status quo where we aren't following our dreams, do what others tell us and essentially not living our lives. There will come a time we have regrets and wonder why we hadn't walked a different path. Therefore, let doubt be that sign of you moving towards your dreams and success.

Dreams and success won't ever be easy and some parts of the journey will make you consider turning back. I must emphasize that getting started is one of the bigger challenges we face. I knew people who had dreams but they never really acted upon it. They have doubts from the very beginning and then basically talk themselves out of it thinking that they simply couldn't do it. For instance, we have talent shows around the world and, while many auditioned, there are probably more who considered this but decided against it in the end.

I believe the best way to prevent doubt from stopping you from pursuing your goals and dreams is to simply take action. We normally have doubt when we have hesitation. For instance, my website hasn't been gaining much attention. Doubt starts forming but, instead of letting it take root, I just go and make a video so I have something else I can upload to it. Basically, I'm distracting myself from the doubt by taking actions that move me closer to my dreams. As a result, there won't be time for doubt to really develop within me.

As I continue doing what's needed to make my dream a reality, doubt will steadily become irrelevant. After all, I'll be doing it for many months or many years so it becomes the new norm. Just keep moving forward and doubt is basically a sign that you are heading in the right direction. The day these doubts vanish for good is the day you reached your goals and know, with confidence, that you can do it.

[Rick(amateur)]

-Success 10-

The bigger your dream is, the more lonely you'll be in the initial stages of the journey. Your friends and family members will see you as a big dreamer who will one day realize that you were too unrealistic. As a result, you will lose friends and even family members if you wanted to pursue the dream.

Given that dreams don't come easy, you need to invest a lot of time and effort. This results in less time to hang out with friends and family members. These are sacrifices one have to make if they want to make something of their life. If they have people supporting them from the very beginning, then these are fortunate people. For most people like me, it's a long and lonely journey where we will have plenty of doubt and look back often.

Our society can be cruel so, unless you have great friends, you will find yourself alone during the time of need. Nobody is going to be there for you. When I was depressed, I have no one to go to and that pushed me towards my suicide attempt. Going on this journey will in a way help you determine if your friends are there for you or if they're fair weathered and gone at the first sign of trouble.

We must also remember that, on this journey of ours, we will encounter other people who are like-minded. These people have similar goals and dreams so they understand you. They will be there for you since they know you'll do the same in return.

During these moments when we are alone, we are also learning to do everything and becoming more independent. We learn new skills and/or improve some of our existing skills. Normally, we might do half the work while someone else does the other half. In this situation, we are forced to do the entire task. We discover that we can do more than what we thought was possible and slowly build confidence.

The first few stages of the journey won't be easy. It's filled with critics, doubts, challenges and loneliness. Keep going on this journey and you will find people you can count on. People who will have your people so you have people you can treasure for the rest of your life. Part of the success we seek is finding friends who will be with us through our highs and lows. While the journey seem daunting, going through it will be far more rewarding than sticking with the status quo.

[Rick(amateur)]

-Loneliness-

You will encounter loneliness in your life. You will have highs and lows throughout your life. During those lows, you will discover if you have fair weathered friends or not. These people want to be there during the good days but will abandon you as soon as the going gets tough. Of course, some people will have friends who remain by their side. For most of us, we will find out we are actually quite lonely during those days.

When we are lonely, we feel like we're outcasts of society. We feel empty and simply don't belong anywhere. We might not act different or look different but we simply don't fit in. For me, my university campus is pretty big and, as a loner, I'm just going between classes. Other people have friends they hang out with, chat with and laugh with. It's never a good feeling seeing myself have no one. For most of my life, I have been a loner where I'm just by myself. The feeling of loneliness just eats me up from the inside if I ever let it.

Loneliness can be a terrible thing. I believe it's the main factor for my suicide attempt. I'm certain a lot of people had similar feelings as me at the time when they're lonely. It seemed like, if we were gone today, no one would notice the very next day. Our existence seem so insignificant that, regardless of whether we are present or not, the world would go on spinning as though nothing had changed.

Having been there, I know dwelling on the loneliness allows it manifest into something terrible. It eventually overwhelms us and push us towards the extreme. Loneliness will happen eventually in your life. It's a phase in our life and it's not always a bad thing. We just got to learn how to utilize this feeling and use to help us seek a better future.

There are ways to combat loneliness. First, view it as a phase or phases of your life. By seeing it as a phase, you know that it will pass. It won't pass overnight but, give it enough time and put in some work, it will pass and be something of the past. Secondly, treat loneliness as a sign about what you must do with your life. When you feel loneliness, something must not be working out well so changes are in order.

I've been a loner all my life so far because I never followed my dreams, my heart and listened to my heart. I'm seeking the friends that click with me. We all know those moments where a conversation with a stranger just click instantly as though you and that person had known forever. If I want to end this loneliness, I must make changes like pursuing my dreams. As I said in the last entry, I will find those friends I always sought after.

[Rick(amateur)]

-Envy-

Everybody have been envious of others in the past. When I was a kid and my parents weren't particularly wealthy, I was envious of other kids who had the newest and coolest toys. They basically had the things I wished I had but were out of reach at the time.

Envy is something natural as it's part of being human. For some people, envy might be their main motivation in life. They see other people with great car and house so they decided that they want the same thing. Envy isn't necessarily a bad thing but it can blind people in their journey.

Let's use the great house and car as an example. What if the family purchasing those items are now heavily in debt? They could have borrowed a ton of money from the bank along with accumulating a bunch of credit card debt. If this family is paying the minimum amount each month, they would take forever to pay it off as the amount of interest they pay at the end is quite staggering.

The issue with envy is that people are too focused on being like someone else. They want the life of luxury presented by these other people. First, they are blinded from seeing what's needed to make such a lifestyle reality. Can you imagine living a life where you worry about if you can make the monthly payments? Too many people nowadays are living beyond their means and their debt accumulates each year until they are slave to their debts.

Secondly, envy blinds you from knowing what you want to achieve. In our society, success is commonly associated with owning a great house and car. What ends up happening is, if they get those, they might discover they aren't happy since they get plenty of debt in the process. Of course, these are also material things where, if a person is only focused on them, they will be compensating in other areas and feel unfulfilled in life.

Envy is natural and just shows that we are human beings. We shouldn't be too focused on what other people have since we have our own path. Trying to gain what other people have makes us walk further from the situation we truly want to be in. We have different definition of success and different methods to get there. Don't let your envy determine how you want to see yourself.

[Rick(amateur)]

-Habit-

We all have our habits, both the good and the bad. We know that good habits are hard to come by while the bad habits are the easiest to do. To sleep in and to procrastinate are two of the most common bad habits we have. Good habits like going to the gym daily require a lot more work and lots of discipline to get them established.

Good habits are hard to accomplish but they are good for our wellbeing or even our success. Most of us heard about the three months needed to establish a good habit. We need to do the same thing continuously for every single day for it to become a habit. For instance, you probably need three months of going to the gym daily before it simply becomes a part of your routine as opposed to this chore you force yourself into doing.

Bad habits are so easy to get and very difficult to get rid of. Take me for example. I have procrastination which is one of the worst habits to have. People like me usually delay and plan on doing something the next day. The thing about life is that opportunities don't come back the very next day. If you missed it, it's forever out of reach. I know this and the push to stop procrastination has been an uphill battle.

Habits also say something about the person. If the person has a lot of bad habits, they have been taking the easy way out. I'm not here to judge anyone since I was no different. I also see bad habits as one of the reason why school or work isn't going as well as they did. I thought I had plenty of time so I kept procrastinating at school. Now, I realized that I have this timebomb ticking down and, unless I make changes soon, things will go further downhill.

Since habits define who we are, we want to have many good habits. Having multiple good habits means you are better disciplined than those who have fewer good habits. This sort of discipline sees you better focused on your goals without giving in or getting distracted. It's far better getting disciplined now and enjoy life later than taking the easy route now and regretting later in life.

[Rick(amateur)]

-Work-

Work is what we need to pay for our expenses. After graduation from high school and/or post-secondary, you'll be spending most of your time working. It's a big part of your life so it's natural you want to do more than just tolerate it. From my personal experience, I've done a lot of part-time work while I was attending school. I had some jobs that were really pushing my tolerance for them so I wanted to leave as soon as possible.

First, you should enjoy the work at least to a certain extent. For example, you might be doing customer service. You should at least enjoy the interaction with the customers so work doesn't seem that bad and passes relatively quickly. If even customer interaction, possibly the main portion of your duties, is awful, then most days are terrible, if not worse should something happen with one of the coworkers.

Secondly, you must also feel like you're making progress at work. You don't want to go to work knowing what will happen and what you'll accomplish before even starting. At this point, work feels like a chore and most people, including me, don't look forward to doing chores at all. These make work so dull that you never want to go to work and would go to any lengths to avoid it without getting fired.

My worst job experience was at a fast food restaurant. Much of it was pretty miserable where my shift began before the restaurant opened. I was there to do prep work and, with us being shorthanded a lot of the time, it gets real tough to meet the deadlines. The only upside was being cashier but I was rarely assigned that. The management wasn't great either so not enough pros to even rival the cons.

I was going there feeling like I'm headed nowhere. It's a fast food restaurant where the only future seem to be becoming a manager at the restaurant. I'm not saying it's a bad job but it's simply not one that could bring out my full potential. When I left, it was such a relief and I know I won't ever look back at it with regret. I probably regretted not leaving any sooner honestly.

If you are searching for a job, you need to find one you enjoy and/or see a great future for yourself. There's nothing worse in life than getting a job you hate which gets you nowhere in life due to limited career options. I couldn't imagine myself working at the fast food restaurant full-time for the rest of my life so I cannot imagine how people do a job they hate as a living.

[Rick(amateur)]

-Work 2-

I want to elaborate on finding work you enjoy. This usually involves finding work related to your hobby or interests. If you enjoy programming, you can go into website design or game designing. If you are into photography, you could work for a magazine or a newspaper. There are lots of opportunities out there but you definitely have to search for it.

Some of these jobs might appear sparse but you need to work for it if you want to land such a job. When we are determined, we will eventually find what we are searching for. Perseverance and determination along with the belief you can succeed will yield the success you sought after. Such opportunities are attracted to those who really want it. It's a bit like the "ask and you may receive."

You must know what you are asking for. Therefore, you must narrow down to what you actually want. Being vague usually gets you nowhere since it could include multiple possibilities, several of which aren't even related to what you have in mind. Asking alone isn't enough as you must work towards it. Afterwards, it never hurts to ask nicely.

It's not always possible to find a job related to your hobby whenever you want to. In the meantime, you have the option of finding a job where you help other people out. When we help people out and get a smile out of them, this seems like a nice reward in itself. Just as negativity spreads, positivity also spreads so, as you make more people happy, you get that in return. If you made four people smile, the joy you feel will match the combined joy of those four people.

In our society, we are too focused on ourselves. We wonder how we can make ourselves happy and feel fulfilled. The irony is that we often need to give if we want to be happy. I'm not talking about giving physical things like money or gifts. At times, a simple gesture of greeting someone or asking someone distressed if they are alright. Even if you cannot solve the problem, the act showing that someone cares can go a long way for those lonely souls.

When helping others, you may never see the end result but, as long as you know you are doing something that helps others indirectly, that knowledge alone will brighten your own mood. Considering how much time work occupy in our lives, we really should take extra steps to finding one that makes us happier and more fulfilled.

[Rick(amateur)]

-Work 3-

I want to elaborate on finding work where you feel like you have a brighter future if you remained there. My example was the time when I worked at a fast food restaurant where I felt like I was getting nowhere in life. Essentially, I just go there to get a paycheck, pay my expenses and repeat that process over and over again. Nothing really happens in life as a result.

Nothing is worse than feeling like you're getting nowhere in life. You start to wonder if there's something more in life. We have this feeling because there is indeed something more. Regardless of what background and what education you have, people have incredible potential that just isn't easy to tap into. To tap into this potential, people must get out of their comfort zone and learn from the mistakes they make in life.

The safe and stable path is going to school, get a degree and get a job from that degree. Of course, it's questionable if this is safe or stable. Sure, you might get a job but a company might go bankrupt or need to cut cost. You could easily be let go by the company which sees you out of a job. We heard this often enough so where's the safety and stability people believe this path held?

Let's say you have worked at a company for 5 years and you heard about an opportunity. There's a new company led by an ambitious individual. No one knows if this company will succeed or not. If you had a family, you must take into consideration of their well-being. Yet, you must remember that, if you get let go after working several years for a company, you are left with nothing as well. If you are single, ambitious and your gut tells you to do it, there's really no downside in trying out this opportunity.

Even in the situation the company failed, the lessons you learned could be of some use in the future. For instance, you might want to start your own company. There are lots of opportunities out there and some are great learning experiences. Taking risks does reward those regardless of the outcome. Until we take risks and tap into our hidden potential, we will always have this feeling of us never really fulfilled as though we are missing something. Later in life, we have regrets as we wondered about all those opportunities we passed by due to hesitation.

[Rick(amateur)]

-Loss-

Loss can cover a lot of subjects so I want to cover the loss of a loved one for this entry. The cruel thing about life is that we don't know when our loved ones will be gone. They could encounter an accident, an illness or something we never saw coming. Losing such a special person leaves behind a void which we can never fill in.

The loss also leaves behind a scar that never really heals and it can act up to remind you of the loss. Yet, we, despite the uncertainty regarding the future and the fate of our loved ones, must learn to treasure our loved ones. Spend time and care about a loved ones are two of the best ways to show that we recognize what they have done for us so far.

It doesn't help that time passes in one which is forward. I know people who wished they could spend more time with their parents. In their pursuit of dreams and careers, they weren't able to spend much time until they got news of the deteriorating health of their parents. Then, it's basically an attempt to catch up what little time they had left.

The problem with catch up is that we only do so when there's not much time left. Of course, people are quite busy nowadays with life and some people have to move away from their loved ones. Finding time to talk once a month is still better than those who only have a chance to do so once every few years. If you get past the excuses and procrastination, you will find the time to visit.

When we lose a loved ones, we realized that there are many things we wanted to say and many things we wanted to do. Some of us even had promises we never managed to keep. Grief is overwhelming in itself so it only gets worse when you have all these regrets.

When loss of a loved one is something none of us could predict, we need to do what we can. We must walk a path with a few regrets as possible and not spend time with a loved ones could be some of our biggest regrets in life. Don't wait until it's too late to do what's right. We can live with fewer money in our bank account. We can go without a few vacations in life. We cannot turn back time hoping to get a second chance with people most precious to us.

[Rick(amateur)]

-Loss 2-

Losing a loved one isn't easy as it leaves behind a void as though we lost a part of ourselves. Naturally, the recovery from grief and the loss is never easy. It takes time. However, I don't like how people tell those people to just move on. I just don't like the term since it implies that you should forget about the past and don't ever revisit it.

I do emphasize that we shouldn't dwell on the past but we mustn't throw the past away. We have good memories with our loved ones which we most definitely should treasure with us. Those memories shaped us and made us who we on. Instead, I think we should move forward instead of move on. By that, I meant that we turn our focus on the present and future more often instead of only focusing on the present and future.

During our recovery, we do need to revisit the past. For instance, maybe the loved one we lost had a dream. If possible, we might want to make that dream come true. We might have also made a promise or promises to a loved one. Maybe we promised we would quit smoking or quit drinking and never managed to get to it. I don't think it's ever too late to keep these sort of promise.

The loss usually reminds us of our mortality. It reminds us that we don't have infinite time in life and we should do something in our lives. No one knows how much time he or she has left. Instead of fearing about when your end arrives, it's far better living everyday to its fullest. Do things you have been dreaming or thinking about but have yet to take action.

We all respond and recover differently from a loss. Just like everything else in life, we must learn how to cope with it from experience. Yet, we must never forget that there are still those with us. For example, a person losing his or her spouse might have children who needs caring. Remember those you lost but treasure those who are still with you.

[Rick(amateur)]

-Loss 3-

The last two entry has been rather gloomy so I hope to change things up a bit this entry. I will discuss about losing one's job. We probably all know someone who lost their job due to mismanagement, poor economy or cut costs in the company. This is very disruptive as the lifestyle you were so used to is suddenly at risk. You don't have the money to pay for the expenses resulting in a lot of pressure.

It's not a good feeling when you had a great life only to have everything gone since you cannot afford them anymore. Recovering from these situations isn't easy either since you aren't as young as before anymore. As a result, other companies don't see you as such a great asset when they had younger recruits they could pick from. Now, you are faced with unfavorable odds and the situation deteriorate very quickly.

I want to emphasize that knowledge is the great asset you can gain regardless of your age. An employer could take your job. A bank can take your home. All of these material things can be taken away from you and you can do nothing to stop them. Yet, nobody can take the knowledge you gained over the years that makes you more valuable than other people.

This knowledge isn't what you take from school. Schools teaches you the basic stuff for you to get out into the real world. Knowledge you acquire outside of school during your own time is what you can use to make yourself far more valuable in your field. There's so much information out there so it's not wise to absorb everything before you. Be picky on what you want to learn since our brain, like our computers, have a limited storage before it's overloaded.

Knowledge can be power if you seek out the right ones. If you want to start a company, read books written by those successful business people. Absorb the right knowledge and, regardless of what happens in the world, you will thrive more than other people. Sure, there are challenges along the way. Yet, you have fewer obstacles as the knowledge will get you through them more efficiently.

While we cannot get back the loved ones we lost, we can get back the material stuff that were taken from us during our financial struggles. Gain knowledge as it cannot be lost. Respect its power and use to the best you can. If given a choice between money and knowledge, take knowledge so you can use it to generate more money than you can ever imagine.

[Rick(amateur)]

-Loss 4-

We will be talking about loss of friends where they essentially no longer want to hang out with us. There are many paths we have to take and some of them are lonely. We won't have people there to support us. We won't have friends who are understanding and accept us for who are. Instead, we have friends who tells us that we cannot do it and we should give up.

These are people we generally want to stay away. By staying with them, their negative thoughts and beliefs also spread to you. Now, this doesn't make losing them any easier. Loneliness is tough. As a loner for my entire life, I know the emptiness when I have no one to talk to regarding anything. It seems like I'm just wandering aimlessly as I struggle to find my future.

The path of loneliness does have its benefits. It teaches us how to become more confident and more independent. For instance, I liked group projects in high school where I can do what I'm comfortable with while others could do what they're comfortable with. As a result, I'm not getting out of my comfort zone and, in a world that's constantly changing, I'm basically falling behind due to a lack of skill sets needed to make me a success.

We must also remember that loneliness is temporary. There are so many people out there and nobody can stop us from making new friends. Sure, you can be an introvert like me but that's just an excuse. As we do what we enjoy and love, we will find people who have something in common with us. Then, we don't even need to go out of our way to make friends. The friendship just forms naturally without those awkward moments. We all had moments where we clicked with a person we knew almost nothing about. These connections do exist.

Remember that losing friends isn't the end of the world. Those people aren't worth your time and effort. If they are your true friends, they won't abandon you during the toughest parts of your life. If you stop seeing them results in them not contacting you again, it's a good sign that you need better friends. Better friends are out there but they won't just show up. You must go on the journey you are meant for and, along the way, you will find them. Essentially, you are losing the bad friends to make room for good friends.

[Rick(amateur)]

-Exclusion-

Exclusion is basically barring someone from a place or a group. I will be tying this to anxiety and depression. To use my own experience, I will refer to the time when I was livestreaming regularly. I was just talking about anxiety and focusing heavily on the time when I was suicidal. I was just discussing my thoughts on the matter regarding my mental state at the time.

Two people showed up in chat and these were basically the two things they brought up. First, they called me an attention seeker. They claimed I'm using anxiety to attract viewers and use drama to get the attention I need. Secondly, they literally told me to kill myself since it would make it easier for me. They suggested that it would be all over if I just ended my life.

These responses saddened me greatly. Mental illnesses aren't taken seriously and many people see these call for help as attention seeking. I'm one of the fortunate ones to have failed but there are people out there who haven't. Yet, their stories would never be known since they are essentially unknown in society, possibly just another number in a stat few people care about.

Words can hurt people more than most believe they can. I managed to develop thick skin for these as, being my biggest critic, I had said much worse things. As a result, these people must be more original if they want to get a laugh out of me. With these people out on social media and various parts of internet, people either remain silent or seek help by going to forums where they wouldn't be judged.

Being part of a few forums and some social media, I learned that my experience wasn't unique. People with anxiety and depression are made fun of and aren't taken serious of. A common thing men suffering mental illness hear is to man up. If this was so easy, mental illness wouldn't be such a serious issue. Yet, the stigma we face with mental illness means this keeps happening.

These sort of actions create these barriers where those suffering from real issues feel like they don't belong. It's another form of exclusion where we feel like we aren't normal and don't belong to the society we're in. To avoid this exclusion, we often remain silent because we don't want to be seen as different. Many of us even go long lengths to change ourselves in order to fit it and avoid this exclusion.

[Rick(amateur)]

-Exclusion 2-

Exclusion generally happens when a group sees someone who is too different and don't want this person. In a society where mental illnesses isn't very understood, those of us suffering from mental illness feel like we don't belong. Even talking about the issue results in a number of unfavorable situations like being called attention seeker so our call for help goes unnoticed.

Human beings want to find a place where they belong. They are social animals who are afraid of being alone. This could be due to our ancestors where, due to many dangerous predators, there is strength in numbers. Nowadays, going alone doesn't have the same consequences as in the past but it's difficulty to overcome what has basically been part of our instincts.

Many of us, facing the prospect of exclusion and loneliness due to our mental illnesses, usually take two paths. First, we choose the path of silence where we don't discuss our issues. We bottle it up inside of us hoping others cannot see it so they won't notice it. Sadly, bottling up the negative thoughts and emotions lets them eat us from within until there's nothing left.

Secondly, we change who we are. We change how we act, how we dress, how we look and anything that could improve our chance of fitting into a group. We put on this mask which allows us to fit into groups where we finally feel like we belong somewhere. Yet, there will be moments where our masks have cracks and people will notice. They will then abandon you nonetheless as they had seen the real you andee only accepted the you with the mask on.

Remember that bottling everything up isn't an option. There are others facing similar challenges so you can find them if you look. In addition, you shouldn't change yourself as this doesn't help you. Be yourself and, if you are lonely, go elsewhere. Explore the world and go on journeys that will bring you in contact of people who will be there whenever you need them. We face many challenges in life already so we don't need more by being false to ourselves.

[Rick(amateur)]

-Exclusion 3-

Exclusion isn't necessarily a bad thing. This happens when you are different which, in our society, is often portrayed as something bad. Different is associated with outcast and someone who isn't part of the norm. Yet, we must look at the successful people in our society today who have found success other people could only dream of but could never hope to achieve.

This makes these successful people different but we don't view this as bad. Therefore, you being excluded means you are destined for greatness. You are different because you are given different tools, thoughts and dreams than other people. What you possess will get you success others people can only dream of. Does your difference still appear so negative now?

Many of the successful people also got scoffed at and excluded in the past. Many of them were excluded as they were seen as too radical and too weird. Instead of letting these hold them down and forcing them to become someone they're not, these people kept going with their ideas and dreams until they achieved a situation where they couldn't care what the critics say.

What's stopping you from finding similar success? You might be excluded and have no friends. Yet, these factors won't stop you from achieving new heights. The lonely road will make you stronger as long as you stay true to your journey following a dream only you can see. The only person who can stop you from completing this journey is you.

Don't see exclusion as something bad. You probably outgrown where you are spending most of your time. These people aren't those you want to befriend. Sure, they want to be your friends when you find success but they will keep their distance during your lows in life. Better accept loneliness as a gift that will make you more than ordinary than stay with people who fear what you are capable of. In addition, the exclusion saves you the trouble from needing to rid these people later on in life.

[Rick(amateur)]

-Falling Behind-

I have personal experience with falling behind where I'm struggling with my studies while the others seem to be doing very well. They are either graduating or close to graduating with jobs lined up. I don't even know when I'll be graduating so you can probably understand why I'm feeling discouraged. As a result, I started making excuses and playing the blame game for why this is happening to me.

After experiencing life, watching videos and learning more about myself, I realized that I haven't really fallen behind. These are just stumbles in life that happens to everyone. However, making excuses and playing the blame game was making me fall behind because these were how I was spending my time. Time, as we all know, is a valuable resource which isn't renewable.

We all have hopes and dreams. To achieve our dreams, we need a certain number of small steps and I'll use a million small steps for this example. Since there are no shortcuts, we cannot take a thousand small steps to reach our dreams. To simplify things, let's say we need hard work and time to make our dream a reality. Everyone can work hard to meet the steps needed.

If I was too busy making excuses and pitying myself, I'm essentially investing no time in the pursuit of my dreams. This is time I won't ever get back which means that, the more time I waste, the less likely I'll be able to reach my dreams. I'm not saying it's impossible but it gets even more difficult the later it gets. Therefore, the wiser approach is to make the best use of my time now and start taking these small steps.

Failing in studies isn't falling behind. Stumbling in our journey is part of life and life was never really a race. We all have different paths to walk so even something like comparing with others is a waste of time. The best use of time is focusing on the road ahead of us, steel ourselves during the challenges and invest every bit of it on the dreams we always had.

[Rick(amateur)]

-Falling Behind 2-

In our society, it seems like we are living a very fast paced life. We also want instant gratification where we don't want to wait for something good to happen. Due to these factors, I can actually see falling behind being a good thing. Instead of racing with others to the destination, we can take a moment to look around our surrounding and admire the beauty of it.

The journey is always more important than destination. The journey also has numerous lessons we need to learn before we can reach newer heights in life. If we rush through the journey, we miss those valuable lessons and later look back wondering what we missed. Since time flows only one way, we won't get to experience the same journey again so we won't have a second chance at obtaining all the skills to tap into our full potential.

It's true that falling behind is tough. We see the backs of other people who are sprinting into the distance to their definition of success. Yet, we will stumble in life and sometimes we don't get back immediately. During this struggle to get up on our feet, we take a moment to get our breath back and a quick glance around made us realized that we missed so much of what life can truly offer us.

Sure, we can gain a lot of information on social media and google. Yet, these can never rival what we can experience in real life. We can easily forget something we read online but the experiences we have stick with us. Even if we cannot recollect the details, the experience will always have a place in our memory and it can be brought out at various moments in our lives.

When I was falling behind, life actually had something planned for me. It allowed me to do a month of door to door sales. This changes my life and taught me more about life than all of the school I've taken up to that point which is closing in on fifteen years. Therefore, falling behind is just a way life tells us that we have other paths to take. If we are daring enough to take advantage of the opportunities, we will find ourselves surpassing the other people in no time.

[Rick(amateur)]

-Purpose-

We all want to believe we have a purpose in life. We are here for a reason and something great is waiting for us to accomplish. We usually think about our purpose when we experience the lowest point of our life. When I was depressed and suicidal, I thought and honestly believed that I don't have a purpose in life. The world wouldn't change if I left as though it could go forward without me even existing.

I even had the belief that the world would be a better place without me using up resources. I'm sure a lot of people have similar experiences when they face anxiety and depression. They wonder why they are existing on this world. However, I now believe that everyone have a purpose. People have great potential and possess a gift that would enable them to do the seemingly impossible.

The main issue with this purpose and gift is that we struggle to discover it. Things like education can bar us from discovering our true purpose. Let's use our schools as an example. Schools teach us to not make mistakes, get good grade until we get a diploma or degree and work until we retire. Society makes it so any path that doesn't follow education is seen as foolish.

As a result, many people don't unlock their potential. These people might do well at school but there is something they could do better. When we are told that school is the only way for success, we become too terrified to do something different that's out of our comfort zone. Now, there are people who do find success after going to school and doing what society praise as the norm. Yet, this isn't the path for everyone.

Regardless of whether we feel down or happy, we must find our purpose. Once we find it, we will know what we excel at. Things we can do better than other people. Things other might believe is impossible but, since this is a gift we are given, we can accomplish and change the world to make it a better place!

[Rick(amateur)]

-Purpose 2-

We all want to find our purpose but we wonder how we can do so. One method that usually doesn't work is searching on the internet for answers. There might be a lot of information on the internet but it's just so easy for us to experience information overload. We also become overwhelmed as we see so many opportunities out there. We start dreaming about what we can do and dreams don't come true by dreaming alone.

I believe people must see more of the world if they want to find their purpose. If you lack the budget to see other parts of the world or another part of your country, you should explore you own city or town. There are rich histories that probably isn't well known. Go to a library and look at older newspapers to see what sort of secrets are hidden from much of the public.

Doing something out of your comfort zone is another method. If you haven't found your purpose from your immediate environment, it might not be available from where you are at. Be bold and, when you succeed, you build more confidence. Too often, people lack confidence to pursue their dreams even when they know this dream is what's needed to make them happy. Start building confidence so that, when you discover your dream, you can pursue it without hesitation.

Therefore, you shouldn't always remain indoors when there's so much to see outdoors. Don't always sit in front of your computer unless your purpose and dream involves game designing or software programmer or anything requiring a computer. We don't experience by reading things on a monitor. We only experience by doing something, talking to people and making mistakes that teach us valuable lessons. Go out there and know that opportunities and special people are there waiting to meet you.

[Rick(amateur)]

-Purpose 3-

We define purpose differently and here's how I define it. There are a few requirements before you know you found your purpose. First, a purpose is tough and doesn't become a reality until time and effort had been invested into it. We all know the saying of easy come easy go. The same applies to purpose where, if you lower the bar and it comes true very quickly, you began to wonder if there's more to life.

Secondly, a purpose must be something you enjoy and are passionate about. It must be something you truly believe in and no one could convince you otherwise. If this isn't the case, then you will likely give up when the going gets tough. If life taught us anything, it's that things don't normally go our way and our resolve and determination are tested often. You shouldn't be dissuaded from your purpose ever regardless of the situation.

Thirdly, our purpose should affect a lot more people. We see people with goals like being rich so they can afford all the bells and whistles. There's a lot more to life than wealth. If you can do something that helps other people like getting them out of poverty or give them hope during their darkest moments, you will find those moments much more fulfilling than having more money than you know how to spend.

Purpose also doesn't have to be something incredible. Our society portray people who found their purpose as those millionaires or billionaires or people who are fighting things like poverty. Yet, purpose doesn't have to be at such an enormous scale. It could be something small but impactful. One example I can think of is creating a stronger community where you live.

There are communities out there where people don't necessarily know their neighbors. Other than exchanges of a few greetings, neighbors don't interact with one another. Someone could change that by ways like organizing a barbecue and inviting all the neighbors. You are letting them know one another more and create stronger bonds. This results in a stronger community where people will support each other during the tough moments in life.

Now, this won't show up in the news or be well-known across the world but it can be impactful. We shouldn't underestimate how small gestures can change the world. A better community see people more positive and positivity can spread further at workplaces or other locations outside the community. If we have a million of these small changes, we can see a larger impact on the world as a whole. Remember that our purpose might not make us famous but it can improve the world in ways we cannot imagine!

[Rick(amateur)]

-Sleep-

Sleep is sort of a weird topic but I can see it tie closely with success, purpose and how we live our lives. There are many people who watch motivational videos like me and we no doubt come across some videos where the speaker tell us that we should sacrifice sleep for a dream. They say that, if it's big enough of a dream, we should put more time and effort into it.

I personally can run off five to six hours of sleep a day where I remain somewhat productive. There are definitely people out there who can run on less sleep. For me, I don't see myself able to function with less sleep than five hours. I just start dozing off as my body complains and no amount of willpower, at least none I have discovered, can gets me to overcome dozing off.

I believe that, at the very least, we should try to avoid oversleeping. During the weekends, we might be tempted to remain in bed, especially during the dark winter days where it's warmer in bed. However, the extra sleep doesn't necessarily help us. I find myself becoming more drowsy when I oversleep and don't even feel rested. Therefore, we don't need to sleep in as seven to eight hours is about the most we need. Anymore and we will be cutting into time we can use to pursue other things in life.

Now, we must find a balance between sleep and work. When we are young, we can stay up late studying for exams. If we do this regularly and even later when we are working, we get into a habit that will affect our physical health. When we get older, we'll develop various problems because we didn't take better care of ourselves when we were younger. After all, we feel invincible when we are younger.

The reason why we sought out our purpose and pursue our dreams is to achieve happiness. Yet, we cannot find happiness when we are sick all the time. How positive can we be when we have a terrible headache and struggling to recover? If you can push yourself when you are young, you should do so. Yet, keep in mind that the body shouldn't be neglected. We shouldn't be so focused on making our dream come sooner that we lose sight of how we still need our bodies to enjoy the bright future we create for ourselves.

[Rick(amateur)]

-Motivation-

Here I want to talk about my thoughts on motivation including their pros and cons. Yes, there are cons for motivation but I will be covering that for a later entry. Motivation is generally the drive or passion people have which sees them start or continue doing a certain task regardless of how difficulty it made be. If we ask a lot of people why they aren't pursuing their dreams or why they aren't changing certain habits, chances are they will answer that they lack motivation.

Motivation comes in many forms and I'll be discuss one of them for this entry. Let's use the scenario of someone who had gone to school, got a degree and have been working at a job for ten years. He or she might suddenly wonder if there's more to his or her life. Essentially, life seems mundane and not necessarily what these people had in mind. It's also quite possible that they thought back to the dreams they had in the past like singer, writer and game developer to name a few examples.

What happens is these people desire more in life whether it's a better job to afford more stuff or more exciting life. This motivates them to change what's happening in their life and habits or ideas could be changed. Maybe a change in budget sees more saved up for vacations or trying out new hobbies when the person normally sits in front of a television. The desire gets the person to change because he or she doesn't want everything to be practically the same every single day.

We all know that, often, starting something is the most difficult. We all have great ideas but we often need a good reason to do it. Sometimes, we wait for encouragements from other people. Other times, we need something to happen in our lives. In the scenario above, it's the fact that nothing is happening in our lives that makes us want to do something about it. The motivation simply gives us the reason to do and, for some people, that's all they needed. A push in the right direction and they would do the rest.

[Rick(amateur)]

-Motivation 2-

Motivation is also great when we are already pursuing our dreams. In the early stages, we will encounter difficulties which is normal in life. We, after all, don't find success instantly. Even the small victories we need won't show up until we have been pursuing a dream for awhile. I will be using a business as an example for illustrate this.

At the start of a business, there's a good chance that there is very little, if any, revenue. The only customers might be your family members but this isn't how your business will grow. You need to reach out to the wider market and other people to buy. Naturally, you do marketing and advertising to get attentions but, as a new and small business, time is needed before you really find a loyal customer base to make the business grow.

After a few months, your business might be losing money and your family members along with friends suggest you quit and cut your losses. This is one of the tougher moments regardless of what your dream is. You had all this drive to start your dream but it does disappear after awhile. This is when we are tested in how determined we are to make our dreams come true and this is also when motivation can be quite helpful.

Before any victories, we will be discouraged by the lack of success. Motivation can help by rekindling the fire we had when we first started. We all need a few pushes along the way to get back our momentum and not lose hope. Listening to successful person, especially someone who is your role model and have done what you wish to accomplish, is vital in that they will share their experiences, some of which being quite similar to what you are experiencing at the time.

It's not smart to underestimate what motivation can do. They can get you to do something you always wanted but maybe hesitate to do. They can continue fueling the fire inside you so you can persevere and move forward without ever giving up. Yet, motivation do have their cons as they aren't perfect and I'll be discussing those in the upcoming entries.

[Rick(amateur)]

-Motivation 3-

We'll be starting with the cons of motivation which seems like rather odd. After all, I did mention how motivation can spark us into doing something or give us the push to keep doing what we started. Know that I'm not saying motivation is bad. I'm just saying that motivation comes in all forms and sizes and isn't always necessarily the only way to find success so we shouldn't rely solely on it.

One of our motivation is fear. People afraid of losing job or being homeless will be motivated by fear. It's not great motivation but it's motivation nonetheless. There are a few issues with fear being your motivation. First, it's never a good idea to stress out about life all the time. We have all been there where we have some exam and we stress out on whether we did well or not. This is not a healthy lifestyle at all.

Secondly, fear is only motivating us when it's there. We no longer found the drive to keep going when the fear is gone. Let's say you work at a company and heard news of possible downsizing. Fearing you might be one of those people to be let go, you decided to work extra hard and your performance improves dramatically. The downsizing then happens and you keep your job. No longer fearing the loss of a job, you stopped working hard and go back to your old routines. It's quite possible that, if you kept working hard, you would have moved up the company much faster.

Another sort of motivations can be illustrated with the example of a guy wanting a girl but the girl doesn't want an overweight guy. Therefore, he went to the gym daily and dropped a lot of weight until he got the girl's hand. Now that he got the girl as his wife, what's motivating him to keep going to the gym? Therefore, there are motivations that are terrible and aren't worth the trouble. When we are driven by fear or goals that are short term, we are only temporarily motivated before we return to our mediocre self.

Motivation can be great but we must be very careful with what motivation we use. Temporary motivation won't get us anywhere since anything great or meaningful takes time. Fear is also something we don't want running our lives. We must focus on what's important and not let negative emotions control us or our every single day would be miserable as we never see the positives of our future.

[Rick(amateur)]

-Motivation 4-

Another con for motivation is the reliance of people on it. When these people are asked why they aren't pursuing their dreams or do something they know is good for them, they respond by saying they don't feel like it or feel inspired enough to do it. Things, unfortunately, don't go that way since we generally have as many lows and the highs in our lives. I was definitely like that when I was depressed as I never felt like do anything other than stay in my room and do nothing. No bit of motivation could've changed that.

As someone who watches motivational videos quite often, I can say from my experience that these videos are very powerful. Yet, one issue I've noticed is how they only work temporarily. In other words, the inspiration and motivation might last an hour or so before they dissipate. The words felt more like a brief inject of "drug" to make me feel great. Motivation appear to be a temporary measure but it shouldn't be the dominant force for why you are doing something.

We must always figure out why we are doing a certain action or pursuing a certain dream. If people are doing certain actions due to motivation they got from a certain talk or video, they will likely give up the moment the motivation wears off. Motivation is there to spark something inside us and/or make the fire brighter if it's already lit. Yet, we cannot expect it to maintain the fire for the entire duration of a dream that takes years, if not decades, to come true.

As for this why, we need focus on more than ourselves. For instance, we might want to accomplish a certain goal to make our life easier. When the journey to reach this goal becomes tough, we might not see this as worth it so we give it up. When we are doing this to help other people, there's some strange strength that we acquire. There might be something you can relate to those people so something is triggered within you to keep going. When more than ourselves are at stake, we are more likely to persevere.

Don't be too reliant on motivation. We cannot always feel like it so we must push ourselves and discipline ourselves to do a certain task regardless how we feel. Life is filled with ups and downs so those who succeed are those who kept chasing their dreams during their downs as well. In the end, what truly motivates us isn't what other people can say. It's really what we feel about a certain dream and the why we justify for our dream in the first place.

[Rick(amateur)]

-Motivation 5-

I'll be focusing solely on motivational videos this entry. I myself watch a fair bit of motivational videos and will be discussing the cons on what I've watched. What makes videos so powerful is that we have pictures and clips that go along with the audio. With the right combination, these videos can essentially change lives which is naturally the goal of these videos.

There are videos where we have multiple speakers and the clips shows the speakers their respective accomplishments. For an athlete, this might be a moment when the person competes in the Olympics and broke a world record. Essentially, we are seeing the highlight reel of a person as they reached the peak of their career and their dreams became a reality.

My main issue is that this seems very motivating. We feel pumped watching these highlight reel and find some fire burning inside us. Yet, these videos can accomplish the opposite. Let's use the scenario of person wanting to be a professional athlete. He or she got pumped from watching the video and headed into practice the next day. There's a possibility that, after a poor performance at practice, this person feels discouraged and wondered if he or she could achieve the next level.

I personally feel these videos would be a lot more powerful without showing the success of the people. We have enough exposure with news outlets and magazine. Instead, the videos should focus on the training regime. What most people must understand is that much of the work is done outside of the competition. These professionals work harder than other people and, even when they reached their peak, they disciplined themselves to continue working hard.

People nowadays don't need to see what success is. Instead, they need to see what is needed to get to that success. Maybe a clip of an athlete's daily training regime could be enough to tell our youths what they have to do to find success. People got to see what happens behind the scene because they would otherwise get the impression that success can be reached easily as showcased by the video. They get distracted by what was shown and don't necessary hear what was being said.

As a content creator, I know it's not easy to make those videos. I commend those people who make motivational videos but that doesn't meant they all accomplish the goal they aim for. We must get through to people how perseverance and hard work are needed for success. With videos being such powerful tools, we can do exactly that if we don't create illusions that fool people, especially many of our young people who have yet to experience things in real life.

[clauds1]

yes

[Rick(amateur)]

yes

:)

-Change-

Change will always happen in our lives regardless if we want it or not. We might move to a new country or a new technology has been introduced changing the ways of how we live. Maybe a new member enter the family like a new baby or an adopted child. With change, we must learn to adapt to it to continue thriving in our environment and minimize the negative impact of change.

With school not going well along with other things in my life not optimal, I'm also in the process of adapting to change. These changes were largely things I didn't want happening to me at the time and, as a result, I get really stressed out and anxious. The biggest thing I'm working on is my mindset which I learned is so vital in these sort of situations.

A lot of people can working on their mindset like me. It's something that seems insignificant but it can be such a large impact on our lives without changing anything else. Essentially, we need to adjust our mindset to accept the changes and be open-minded. Since change is unavoidable, we must make the best of it and, from what appears as chaos, find what we need to get further ahead in life. In the process, we also learn a bit about ourselves to better know our strengths.

Many people are, unfortunately, afraid of change. It's an interesting perspective where people like me with unfavorable situations want change while those with acceptable lives reject change. What we must remember is that change helps us grow, mature and find opportunities that had never existed before. When people fight change, they will find themselves struggling. For instance, those who couldn't embrace internet when it was picking up soon found themselves replaced in the job market by those who took advantage of the change.

The world is constantly changing without us doing anything. We can stay in our room and just do our hobbies but the changes will still come. Change isn't a bad thing and is more of something that's natural in this world of ours. It's normal to fear it but rejecting it outright without giving it a chance usually ends poorly.

[Rick(amateur)]

-Change 2-

There are lots of changes we have no control over. Let's use the scenario of a morning where we wake up, eat breakfast and drive to work. For a specific day, there was a car accident on the route you normally take and traffic gets congested as a result. Then, you are pretty much guaranteed to be late for work and here is where mindset can play a role.

If you choose a negative mindset, you'll likely curse and be very frustrated with the development. Of course, this negative attitude doesn't end there. You'll be asked by your boss why you are late. When we are negative, we aren't in the best mood and that shows when we talk. The boss wasn't too happy about us being late already so our negative attitude likely makes it worse.

The boss, with a negative mood as a result, decides to make our life more difficult by being more picky on our mistakes. The day at work would be ruined but it wouldn't end there. We'd return home only to spread the negativity to our family which can cause fights and arguments. Overall, a day that started poorly just kept going downhill until it's just plainly a horrible day.

Conversely, we can be positive about the situation by accepting we will be late and think of ways to make up for it. We sincerely apologize to our boss and work harder/smarter to make up for the time. This would make a good impression on our boss who wouldn't be as hard on us the next time we're late. Given how things tend to happen often, there's a good chance we'll be late again in another situation we cannot control over.

Day at work went well and we returned home where, being in a more positive mood, we can communicate with family members properly without sparking conflicts. We would also be more likely to listen about their day when we aren't negative and this could help improve their day. With a positive attitude, the poor start was the only low point of the day and the rest of the day would be more than merely salvaged.

In our lives, we will encounter changes everyday and some might be in unimaginable ways. Yet, we can dictate how we decide on it. With a positive mindset, we can turn any day to a good day despite what sort of start we had. If we can maintain good days throughout the year, then we'd have a good year. Keep this up for a few decade and we'd have a much better life than many other people.

[hanshan]

Hi Rick - I read a report of a study recently that found that the 'safe' path recommended by well-meaning family members (ie finish high school, get a university degree, find a 'safe' job with an established career path, get married, buy a home, have children - and in that order!) was the best predictor of financial security in later life, and also (I think) of having children who would head off on the same path.

I'm not sure that that model fits everyone, but unconsciously it is the 'default' idea of a successful life for many people. I don't know about other countries, but in Australia we also have the 'gap year' between high school and university when young folk can head off overseas for wild and reckless adventure before returning home and settling down.

[Rick(amateur)]

Hi Rick - I read a report of a study recently that found that the 'safe' path recommended by well-meaning family members (ie finish high school, get a university degree, find a 'safe' job with an established career path, get married, buy a home, have children - and in that order!) was the best predictor of financial security in later life, and also (I think) of having children who would head off on the same path.

I'm not sure that that model fits everyone, but unconsciously it is the 'default' idea of a successful life for many people. I don't know about other countries, but in Australia we also have the 'gap year' between high school and university when young folk can head off overseas for wild and reckless adventure before returning home and settling down.

I see the 'safe' route as a path for some but not all. The issue is our society assumes this is how everyone needs to go in order to succeed and paints this image while not giving any alternatives in life. If people's dreams happen to require this 'safe' path, then they should definitely take it. I just know people like me who struggle at school have other paths available to us and finding it is part of the struggle.

Here in Canada, we sadly don't have a 'gap' year. I'm a standard example where, as soon as I graduated from high school, I head straight to post-secondary. Some adventure would help but it doesn't seem very common, at least in the circles I've been part of.

-Change 3-

I wish to talk about people fearing and resisting change in this entry. The main factor is the uncertainty involved when change happens. People like to have control of what's going to happen, how it's going to happen and, in an unfavorable situation, be in complete control during the damage control. This is difficult when a lot of changes happen when we least expect it.

Change brings a lot of unknown variables into a situation. Most people had situations where they made a plan and it went perfectly. This is always a great feeling where we felt we are in control and things go exactly the way we want it to. Change, however, makes our plans irrelevant. I was planning on finishing school to get a good job but change saw me failing courses and failing to get any internships.

When we thought we had life figured out, change arrives when we least expects it and sends us back to the drawing board. This bit of uncertainty is why people fear it. It's a bit like us playing a horror game where we enter a new area. Due to the atmosphere, we are worried and fearful despite not seeing any immediate threat in front of us. Our imagination create these horrors that may or may not be in the game.

What happens to us in real life is our minds generate things regarding uncertainty. We cannot see that far ahead and mindset plays a big role here as well. If we are negative, we think up all the worst case scenarios regarding a certain change. There are positive scenarios but our mindsets lets us only see the negative scenarios. Therefore, we do everything in our power to fight and resist change to avoid these worst case scenarios.

People scare themselves and some of these thoughts might be external. They might have heard stories from other people which gave them ideas. We must remember that we won't have control over everything so it's critical we don't create the negative scenarios before even attempting something. In this case, we are essentially delivering a mortal blow to our morale before the fight is even fought.

Don't conjure up anything when you think about the future. Everyone have their own lives and what happens to others won't necessarily happen to you. Simply make the best of your situation and be positive that everything will work out eventually. Then, you will get an average situation in the worst case scenario while you thrive in the best case scenario.

[Rick(amateur)]

-Change 4-

Change forces us out of our comfort zone. That, alone, make it terrifying and undesirable for people. Comfort zones are the limits we place on ourselves. These limits are there before we even know what we are capable of. Change lets us step outside to see what we are truly capable of. Sure, we eventually find our real limits but we'll discover that these new limits far exceed what we placed on ourselves originally.

I was an introvert who was afraid of talking to strangers. The thought of it was terrifying for me. Yet, a month of door to door sales allowed me to discover the courageous side of me. The limits I put on myself no longer apply since I accomplished what seemed impossible for me. What ends up happening is we get comfortable with something new and, as a result, our comfort zone expands.

For too many people, they aim too low and fail to learn their true limits. They might reach the limits they put on themselves but such a scenario fail to tap into their inner potential. Later in life, these people wondered if they could've accomplish much more. Change makes this irrelevant by forcing you to get out of those limits regardless if you feel ready or not. You have to deal with it and, when you find success, you build confidence knowing you can achieve much more.

Change doesn't let you aim low so you are aiming further and higher. Even if we reach for the stars but never reach them, we'd reach unimaginable heights as a result. The odd thing is that, when we were younger, we don't believe in limits. This could be seen by the things we've done and learned as a kid. I like to use riding a bike as an example here.

When we were young, we try to learn to ride the bike the first time. Sure, we might fall the first few times and cry a little but we always get back up and try again until we succeed. As we grow older, we fear pain and do anything to avoid it. This often sees us unwilling to accept change or try new things. If we had this mentality when we were younger, then we'd quit the first time we fell and would never learn how to ride the bike.

For most adults, biking is something so simple. We went from not knowing how to becoming very comfortable with biking. Our comfort zone expanded to include this so we never even think twice before biking. This is true with other things in life. When we step out of the comfort zone, we aren't staying out of it forever. We are merely practice and learning until we include something new in the comfort zone. This would be the case for the Olympic athletes as well.

They had to push their limits to get to where they're at. Sure, they look so natural in competition but that wasn't always the case. They had injuries and doubt along the way but, with sufficient practice, they turn it into something natural. We can do that for everything when we try something new. It's not easy initially and requires hard work. We might even get hurt in the process but, as long as we try it and keep going, we'll be able to do it with comfort due to the confidence in our abilities.

For many people, change is so vital as they cannot get out of their comfort zone alone. What we are trying to accomplish to to expand the comfort zone to include things we, at one point, thought were difficult. As we keep learning and growing, we develop the skills to do harder tasks with relative ease. Our goal in life is really making incredible feats no different from riding a bike. We do it without hesitation and we never question our abilities.

[Rick(amateur)]

-Anger-

Anger is one of the more powerful emotions we possess and it can be quite destructive. Many people, like me, had moments when we are frustrated and our limits are pushed. We might be doing some task and it isn't going our way so we decide to turn to anger. The thing about anger is that, when it takes over, it takes over us completely.

We are no longer rational when we are angry. We might yell, throw tantrum or even use violence to express our anger. When we are angry, we are most certainly negative. We don't search for a solution or find a positive side to a situation. We generally want to take the situation into our own hands and, if yelling doesn't work, we resort to our fists.

The worst thing about anger is that it usually doesn't dissipate very quickly. It's a dangerous beast where it generally escalates the situation. Your anger can spark anger in other people and those situations get out of hand very quickly. With enough escalation, violence will happen and people will get hurt at the very least.

Another issue with anger is that it's one of the ways we vent out our frustrations. For some people, the venting is such a relief that they might resort to anger to rid the negativity not knowing that they are actually fueling it. Anger doesn't solve the root of the problem and often makes matters worse. For example, there might be talk of divorce between a couple. There could be a chance to resolve the issue but one anger moment transitioning into violence could end all hope.

Anger is a powerful emotion so we don't want it to take over us. We have no control as we become someone completely different. Then, we do things we regret later and, at times, we do things that cannot be salvaged. In life, we generally want to keep our anger under check. There are very few situations where anger is suitable so we must use it with caution.

[hanshan]

Hi Rick - I'm surprised that Canadians don't have the idea of a 'gap year' - perhaps it's not just called that. Also, in Australia, you can take your gap year in the middle of your higher education or between higher education and full-time work. Because Australia is so far from most anywhere and many countries have working holiday visas for young adult Australians, they head out to see the world and wait on tables.

But it seems that you had a gap month selling door-to-door. I can't think of many things harder for someone with a reserved personality as you say you have, so congratulations for that.

Generally, I'm not happy with anger. Sometimes I get angry with myself or with the world. When it's gone, I'm glad that in most cases only I knew about it. Anger with another person can lead to violent words or actions, or be turned back on yourself - none of which is desirable.

[Rick(amateur)]

Hi Rick - I'm surprised that Canadians don't have the idea of a 'gap year' - perhaps it's not just called that. Also, in Australia, you can take your gap year in the middle of your higher education or between higher education and full-time work. Because Australia is so far from most anywhere and many countries have working holiday visas for young adult Australians, they head out to see the world and wait on tables.

But it seems that you had a gap month selling door-to-door. I can't think of many things harder for someone with a reserved personality as you say you have, so congratulations for that.

Generally, I'm not happy with anger. Sometimes I get angry with myself or with the world. When it's gone, I'm glad that in most cases only I knew about it. Anger with another person can lead to violent words or actions, or be turned back on yourself - none of which is desirable.

If there's a 'gap year,' I wasn't aware of it. For higher education and during the transition period, we aren't forced to finish everything in one go but it's generally how it goes. We have a mentality where we should get it over with so we can start working and make money.

For door-to-door, I wouldn't call it a gap month. It was more of a life changing event that happened when it did. It's one of those moments where you search for answers in life and you get it shortly after.

Anger can be a dangerous emotion but we must remember that it's also what makes us human. I do think anger is needed at times but there are ways not hurting other people. Anger can be dissipated through exercising or music, both of which are beneficial for us humans.

-Past-

The past is history. It has happened and we cannot change it. Therefore, we shouldn't be dwelling or focusing on the past. Why spend so much time on something we cannot change regardless how hard we work at it? The past can be a complicated matter and, for many people, it can be difficult escaping from it.

With the past, we are usually dealing with the regrets and the what ifs. We have regrets due to doing or not doing something. We like to think about what we could've done to change all of that. We post those what ifs wondering if things could've been different with the situation of us picking a different decision at the time. In the end, all of this does nothing but bring us more pain.

Yes, we might have good memory from back then. When I was at the lowest point of my life, I thought about my childhood. I thought about the carefree lifestyle where, outside of school and whatever activities my parents planned for me, I can just have fun. I didn't have any responsibilities and can just focus on having fun the best I can. Those days seems wonderful compared to now.

Yet, I'm not longer a kid anymore. I'm an adult with responsibilities and priorities in life. Comparing the past with the present, I feel pain. I realize I had wasted so much time that I could've used to make my life better. I could've gained new skills to make myself a better resume. Dwelling on the past only emphasizes the terrible present we have now which, as a result, makes us more miserable.

The past is important but we mustn't dwell on it. When we are busy dwelling on it, we cannot focus on the present. We cannot walk forward if we are looking back. Sure, we can learn to walk backwards but, by the time we mastered this ability, we would've lost more time in the process that we won't be getting back.

We can look at our past from time to time but it should never occupy our focus. Life won't wait up for us while we dwell in our history. We must resist the urge and keep pushing forward. The past may call on us but we should cover our ears and walk towards the future. We cannot ever be happy if we cannot move on from our past.

[Rick(amateur)]

-Past 2-

We still need to look at our past from time to time despite the necessity of not dwelling on it. The past holds many lessons because, in our lives, everything happen for a reason and part of our job is to figure out why it happened to us and not others. We might have regrets like not finishing school, giving up on a dream or not asking a girl out at school.

What we must do is inspect our past to see what happened and why it happened. However, we must make sure not let regrets cause fear in us. If something happened, we shouldn't let it haunt us for the rest of our lives. For example, a bad experience with a girl shouldn't stop us from giving other girls a chance. The lessons we're learning aren't how to run away from things that hurt us.

We need to learn from our mistakes and really figure out why something happened. As much as we want to do it, we mustn't blame others. All of our mistakes are caused by ourselves due to poor judgement or simply lack of experience. We must understand that we will make mistakes in life and shouldn't be ashamed of it. The moment we let these mistakes create fear within ourselves, we'd lose our way forward.

There will be times where revisiting the past is tough. It's never easy going through some of the memories we'd rather leave behind. Don't dwell on it but know that these memories usually have the most to teach us. I had troubles revisiting my suicidal attempt but, by going through it and analyzing it properly, I realized that I was lonely and the silence was what drove me to that decision. This realization is partly why I started doing these journals.

For some of us, we must also defeat the demons from the past. We need to overcome a certain fear or conclude something for good. We need to move on so we can focus on the present and future. When we don't tie up the loose ends, these things can haunt us later in life. Given that we are mortals, we have limited time and it's better invested in the present and future than the future.

Never dwell on the past. Learn the lessons they offer you and move on. Each of these lessons you learn and master will get you further in life. The experience can be painful but, the more pain they cause you, the greater the lesson they can teach you. Don't shy from the pain that's temporary. If you are trapped in the past, then the pain will be permanent until you overcome it.

[Rick(amateur)]

-Present-

Out of the past, present and future, I believe the present is the most important. People generally think future is the most vital and underestimate what present can offer to us. I'll use myself as an example. I started pursuing my dream in hopes of helping those with mental illnesses. When I had the idea, I could've easily dream on it and keep planning until the right moment shows up.

Instead, I decided to act and dive in head first. Yes, I am inexperienced and have much to learn. Yet, I'm taking the first step which seems so difficulty for so many people. Now, this dream, like so many others, is called a dream because it seems so impossible that accomplishing would still appear like a dream. As a result, something this big takes time and I should start now so it can become a reality sooner rather than later.

Why not now? People keep dreaming and thinking when they hesitate to start now. The present is something we have direct control over. We cannot control our past and we have indirect control over the future. The present is when changes happen and, with the right changes, we can chart a much brighter future than the one we saw before.

Changes also don't happen overnight. Habits, especially the good ones, take time to develop. If you start your change now, then it can be developed much sooner and then you can move forward a step at a time. When people wonder when's the best time to do something, I honestly believe now. Procrastination takes away our most valuable resource, time.

The present is the most important. You can have all the best ideas but, unless you take action now, those ideas will remain ideas. Now is the best time to do anything and all it requires is you getting up to do it. When we can take advantage of our present, we are making use of time to pursue what truly matters to us.

[Rick(amateur)]

-Future-

The future is important as it's the destination I talked about. While I did say that journey is more important than destination, we cannot really have a journey without one. Maybe you and a friend decided to go somewhere on a day off but neither of you have an idea where. Therefore, you two wander aimlessly and, if you're lucky, you might arrive some place that gives you an enjoyable experience. Otherwise, you'd waste that day with hardly anything done other than a lengthy car ride.

Regardless of what your journey might be, you must first determine your destination. The further you set the destination, the longer and the more rewarding the journey will be. What's great about setting the destination is you have a lot of freedom regarding when you want to reach it. This could be tomorrow, next week, next month, etc....

As you are picking the when, you might be tempted to choose a realistic timeline. I honestly believe that it never hurts to push the boundaries. Take a bit more risk and aim higher. For a business, this might be getting more products done than what was anticipated without the quality suffering. As we push this boundary, we are actually pushing ourselves to be better and better. As long as we keep improving, we'll be able to reach newer heights.

The future also contains many surprises, some good and some bad. Know that those good surprises could change your life forever. You might find a great friend or find that other half you've been searching for. You might also encounter a person who will play a big role in getting you closer to making your dream a reality. The incredible thing about life is you never know how an encounter could change your life. It either makes it better or teaches you a valuable lesson you won't ever forget.

People without a destination often wonder if there's more to life. That's why you must have something you want. We all have things we desire but it's up to us to work for it. The future will be in the present for a split second before it becomes the past. Therefore, you must prepare so that, when it arrives, you can take advantage of it. Maintain a positive mindset and you'll get more during the journey that is basically preparing you for the future you have envisioned.

[Rick(amateur)]

-Future 2-

There are two "cons" regarding the future. The first con sees people who fear the future and its uncertainty. They might have heard certain things on the news like the predictions of the economy crashing. These things make people take what they believe is the safe and conservative path which often sees them giving up on their dreams or doing things that eliminates all the progress they made towards their dream.

People should never let fear govern their actions because they more than likely pick choices they'd regret later. While you don't know what will happen, the uncertainty also allows you to write out your future. They essentially provide you with blank pages which you can fill in with what you want. When fear is controlling you, other people will fill in those pages and naturally those people don't know what's best for you.

The second con is people dreaming and planning all their lives but never actually take action. For instance, a person wanting to be a professional singer might often dream about a large stage with numerous loyal fans cheering for him or her. This person probably had goals for each year planned out which is solid. However, this person made the mistake of focusing too much time on dreaming and planning while not putting close to enough time in putting everything into action.

I learned in life that most of our plans won't go according to plan so we need to adapt. Regardless how many contingency plans we have in place, life have surprises we would never see coming. Having a destination is good. So is have a rough plan on how you'll get there. Just remember that the details for the plans will change as you move forward and adapt properly.

We don't need to worry about how we would make a dream come true. Take the first step that so many people are afraid to take. Once you're on this journey, you will find the how along the way. I didn't know how to turn my life around until I did door to door sales. This was probably the last thing I expected but it has taught me what I had to do next. For everyone else, there are ways life teaches us the how as long as we go on the journey leading to our dream.

The future is great when we have goals and dreams. Simply remember that dreams isn't enough. We must put in work and action to make dreams come dream. The present is when we take action while our future is what gives us a general direction. Meanwhile, the past contains the lessons we must learn to move closer to that future we always wanted.

[Rick(amateur)]

-Pain-

Pain comes in many forms and sizes. Some are physical pain and others are mental pain. More often than not, you can go to doctor regarding a physical pain and determine what's causing it. For mental pain, it's usually tougher and, sadly, fewer are willing to see doctors due to the stigma we have towards mental illnesses.

People have different ways to dealing with ways and some are just horrible approaches. These approaches causes more problems where facing problems head on yields much better results. One of these approaches is denial where people deny there was anything wrong and/or the pain doesn't actually exist. Such denial can only do so much to keep the pain at bay. I like to see this as erecting a wall that has cracks forming. It stops the pain initially but, as time passes, the cracks grow bigger and the pain returns.

The denial makes you refusing to see a problem exist whether it's physical or mental. This actually makes you vulnerable since, when we don't see problems, we don't seek solutions. For example, someone might feel some minor pain and assumed they were just tired. A few years later, they discovered they had cancer which could've been taken care of with ease when they first felt the pain. We underestimate what something can do until it's so big we can no longer ignore it.

When we don't see the problems, we won't ever find solution and others cannot help you either. When we are dealing with mental illnesses, that's a challenge we face. We don't know who to turn to but, by keeping the problems within us, it eats us from within. Our primal part of our brain teaches us to avoid pain. This was a great approach when we are fleeing from predators. Given how complicated our brains are, fleeing isn't the best solution anymore.

Denial, basically a form of fleeing, won't stop the pain. It can buy us time so we can better prepare for it but that's about it. Know the many problems had to be dealt head on or the pain will haunt us the rest of our lives. We shouldn't pay a greater price simply due to our reluctance to deal with a problem when it was still manageable.

[Rick(amateur)]

-Pain 2-

Another way people deal with pain is distraction. Many people believe that, if they are distracted, the pain wouldn't be as bad. These distractions come in many different forms. One example might be a failed relationship forced a person to work extra hours. Since this person is so busy working, he or she wouldn't have time to let his or her mind wander to the relationship that had ended in failure.

Another distraction could be drugs. We all know drugs are terrible but, for some people, they feel their pain is so bad that the consequences of taking drugs is minor compared to what they're dealing with. They also have the belief they can stop taking drugs when the pain is gone. To them, drugs are a temporary solution which they could end whenever they want.

The third distraction I want to mention is food. For many of us, we have our comfort food which aren't always necessarily healthy food. Despite knowing this, eating these food helps make us at ease and can keep the pain at bay, even momentarily. Whenever the pain returns, people can get into the habit of returning to eating to keep it at bay longer.

All three forms of distractions mentioned above all have negative outcomes as a result. Working extra means your body gets less rest, especially when you are pushing yourself to exhaustion to not let your mind wander to the pain. We can handle these sort of workload when we are young but our body suffers and we'll see the consequences later in life when our body complains.

Drugs are dangerous due to how destructive they are. They can destroy so many lives and willpower alone isn't normally enough to quit them. For those we resort to drugs, they are playing a dangerous game where they are trading the pain for something that's far worse. As for food, obesity leads to heart problems and other health issues so this isn't any better.

Denial and distractions don't help as neither approach really aims to resolve the issue at the root. One is refusing to acknowledge there's a problem while the other is running away from it. I believe that tackling pain, no matter how much it hurts and how much we fear it, is the best approach. I'll discuss this in the next entry.

[Rick(amateur)]

-Pain 3-

Running from pain isn't the solution and the only way to overcome it to face it head on. This approach isn't easy but it's necessary if we hope to leave it in the past and move towards the future. After all, running only lets the pain haunt you from time to time while it's never really gone. Constantly feeling pain is certainly not a way we want as we progress through life.

Pain reminds us of things and teaches us a lesson. When we were kids and get burned on the stove, we learn not to touch it when it's hot. Pain at times is the best way we can learn valuable lessons we need to make progress in life. Pain never happens without a reason so we need to figure out why it's there. When we figure it out, then we use this bit of knowledge to understand what we can obtain from it.

Pain can tell us that we made poor friends or got into a bad relationship. We will make mistakes in life and many of these mistakes will cause pain. Some pain are temporary and will go away on their own while other pain will remain until you deal with it. The latter is what's often holding people back as they cannot let go of a past thinking that letting go would make the pain worse.

In our lives, pain is very much like failure. Nobody wants it but it's necessary in our lives. If we are too busy trying to avoid all pain, we'd never have anything accomplished in life. We'd let fear grip us so fully that we lost control of our lives. When pain does come into our lives, there are various responses which includes suicide. It's our response that determines how our future would be shaped up.

To tap into our full potential, we must accept that pain and failure will happen. They are there to make us tougher so we'd be ready for bigger challenges in life. We learned how to ride a bike this way so we most certainly can accomplish anything when we are older, wiser and stronger. Remember that the greatest people in history had to endure the greatest pain. Therefore, you are meant for greatness if you are suffering incredible amount of pain!

[Rick(amateur)]

-Sharing-

From a very young age, we were taught to share with classmates and friends. Somewhere along the way, some of us changed. I know I changed where I don't want to share and would rather keep everything to myself. I never figured out why but I don't even want other people touching my stuff and became much more selfish.

This situation was worsened when I wanted more stuff. When I was a kid, my parents weren't wealthy at all so I often watch with envy as other kids have lots of things that I have none of. Essentially, I wanted to keep all that I had and wanted more for myself. Looking back, I feel ashamed of this mentality after what I experienced recently in life as an adult.

The more selfish and self centered I am, the less I'm willing to share whether it's laughter or money. As a result, I was never really happy since I lost track what truly mattered. After all, we gain things by giving and sharing is the first step towards giving. When I refuse to share, I, while didn't realizing at the time, was going down a spiral where, no matter how much I got, I won't ever be happy or fulfilled.

After experiencing the lowest points of my life, I learned there's more than just wanting more. For my channel, I just wanted to share my stories. Despite it being ordinary stories with failures many people experience, I hope this could give people hope and courage when they are facing their own struggles in life. When we can change lives by sharing, we get things that no amount of money can buy. After all, we learn we are living more than just ourselves by touching other people's lives.

[Rick(amateur)]

-Sharing 2-

Sharing is so important and we need to teach kids when they were young. Classic example of sharing that comes to mind is two kids with a single toy. Sharing will see both kids getting a chance to play with the toy but neither of them will have sole control. Essentially, the kids must learn to compromise since only one toy is available for both of them.

The kids learn that they must make sacrifices in the process which is roughly how the world works. We cannot get all the good stuff and compromises have to be made. Two parties might have to work together to both benefit from the cooperation. We might get less than we wanted but we get something rather than failing by ourselves and gain nothing at all.

We have all seen selfish and self-centered people in our lives. They want everything to themselves thinking that the world owes them. How willing are you to become these people's friend? Quite unlikely since such a one-sided situation is nothing people want to be in. At the very least, people want friends who will have their back when required. You won't get any of that from a selfish person.

If a person, from a young age, was spoiled by parents, then he/she will expect to get anything he/she desires. The real world, sadly, doesn't work that way. The issues lies in that, as a person get older, it much harder to learn how to share. Changing these sorts of mentality isn't easy for adults and, the longer a person delays, the worse it gets for the person's life. After all, life does have to teach some of us the hard way if we don't learn early on.

Something else gained from sharing is learning how to cope with disappointment. If people learn to compromise, they learn that they cannot have everything to themselves. Sacrifices had to be made so both sides can benefit. This can lead to some disappointment since a person might want the whole thing. If kids were taught at a young age that disappointments will happen and can respond maturely, they will get through life much easier.

[Rick(amateur)]

-Sharing 3-

I'll be focusing on the workplace of nowadays. We are busy competing with our peers to get promotions and raises. Oftentimes, this competitiveness blinds people and makes them less willing to share. A person might have great ideas but, in order to obtain an edge that could give a person a better chance for promotion, he or she will keep it to themselves.

At the workplace, there are two types of people who get promoted (note this is very generalized). One type is a person who knows how get on the good side of his or her superiors. This person compliments the boss and do the "right" things to make the boss like him or her more. When a promotion comes up, this person will be considered due to the personal preference of the boss.

The second type is a leader. A person who has the skills to thrive in a higher position and can bring many positive changes to a company. For a good company, the leaders are picked for the management due to merit. One thing leaders do differently is they share their knowledge. Some people might scoff at this action which seems to be ruining their chances of moving up the corporate ladder.

A leader wants more than just themselves thriving. They want the company to thrive because they believe in what the company is offering. By sharing knowledge, these leaders are mentoring the people below them so one day those people will rise up and take over. Mentors are so vital in companies since they are the people who ensure if a company just survives or thrives.

Something great about leaders is that they have nothing to fear. If they lose their job, they can go elsewhere with confidence in their skills. Sometimes, they might even start their own business and competes with their old workplace. When you are a leader, you don't fear anything. You have everything you need to thrive in this world.

These leaders are different because they put more emphasis on sharing and cooperation. Competitiveness can be good but our society has very much neglected cooperation. When you share so everyone in a group benefits, you have a strong team who can multiply success many folds. If you are competitive and everyone is for him/herself, then the group's efficiency falls and only a few successes can be found.

[Fishmanpa]

Just wanted to say this is some really good stuff you're sharing and valuable regardless if you suffer from anxiety or not.

Positive thoughts

[KatiePink]

Enjoyed reading all your posts. Your thoughts are very similar to mine, great thread!

[Rick(amateur)]

Just wanted to say this is some really good stuff you're sharing and valuable regardless if you suffer from anxiety or not.

Positive thoughts

Thanks! I just wanted to give people a perspective so it's more food for thoughts! I do hope to spread positivity so people can move forward past their obstacles easier! :)


Enjoyed reading all your posts. Your thoughts are very similar to mine, great thread!

Thanks! I know it's odd but anxiety and depression helped shaped my view. I probably would be a very different person if I didn't suffer as much in life! :)

-Journey-

Life is a journey where we have a starting point and an ending point. Those two points are the only things we are certain about life, though the when of the end point remains unknown to us. These journeys are rarely straight lines since they contain many surprises and numerous turns. Regardless of how these journeys are shaped, we will see the beauty and ugliness of our world.

Now, we cannot have much of a journey without having a destination. Can you imagine going anywhere without a destination in mind? This is one of the biggest challenges in life and people, as a result, tend to have very vague destinations regarding their life. For example, they might want more money and more love which, while decent destinations, are so vague that they don't specify what they want exactly.

The destinations in life can be vague when you first started but you will need to focus to a single point eventually. Otherwise, you are just traveling aimlessly in a large territory and only dumb luck can get you what you truly want. A vague destination is fine when we were kids. I was asked what I wanted to be when I grew up and I said doctor. I was way off point after what I experienced!

Our society expect our eighteen year olds to know what they want to do. This is just too early. Graduating from secondary school should see young adults seeing more of the world or more of the city they live in. There nothing that can replace wisdom which could get people further ahead. Sure, there are lots of information on the internet but information doesn't bring wisdom. Experiences does!

Before deciding on what we want to do, we must see more of the world and experience more of what it can offer. During these experiences, we must learn two things in life. First, we must discover what this world has to offer. Technological advances bring more opportunities and make some traditional careers disappear. Secondly, we must learn more about ourselves so we know what destination suits us best.

[Rick(amateur)]

-Journey 2-

We need a destination to have a journey. The destination can be vague initially but we have to narrow it down eventually to know where we're headed. One of the things we need to determine our destination is being informed of what this world has to offer. The world is constantly changing and, as a result, we must adapt to better thrive in the new environment.

When I was in elementary school, there might be a computer lab if we were lucky. Personal computers were only just picking up and life was quite different back then. Nowadays, we have smart phones that possess more computing power than the computers back then. These technological advances will happen since we, as humans, want to move forward in progress.

These changes are unavoidable so we must learn how they can benefit us. With new technology, some jobs that were popular back then might be disappearing nowadays. We all know about automation that sees some company hiring a lot less workers since machines and robots could do the same work at a lower cost. These opportunities would, as a result, take a pretty drastic change.

What we must do is better inform ourselves of these changes. I'm not saying you cannot pursue opportunities with more competitiveness. You need to be informed to know what you are getting into and, if you have enough passion, you still should do it. Remember that, when you enjoy what you're doing, it's only a matter of time before you rise above all of your competition.

When determining our destination, the information we gather will affect it. I'm not saying that we should pick the easier opportunities when a tougher one seems more enticing. Listen to your gut when you pick your destination and just go do it. When you are young, it's fine to have a rough idea of where you're headed. As you get older, you need to be more specific or you'll wander aimlessly in life.

[Rick(amateur)]

-Journey 3-

To find our destination, we must know who we are. This might sound a little awkward but, for most of us, we don't really know who we are. Society and our family members have expectations for us. Since a young age, we want to please other people and, to do that, we must do what they want to see. This isn't necessarily what we want but we are too afraid to do otherwise.

Doing well at school gets us praise which makes us feel good. Since we like this feeling, we want to keep doing well so we can continue getting such praises. By doing so, we are making other people happy like our teachers and relatives. The real question is whether or not we are happy ourselves. Does meeting other people's expectations bring happiness to us?

We had our own dreams like singers and writers that encounter lots of resistance from our family members. In addition, some of us not only don't thrive in school but also get destroyed by it. If a student is struggling due to the teaching methods, he or she doesn't know that and thinks he or she is dumb. This lowers self-esteem that has profound impact on his or her future.

The main reason why we go to school is to pursue a certain degree or diploma. Getting a piece of paper can take awhile and this time could be used elsewhere. Therefore, it's vital for the young people to know themselves better before they make such an important choice. Not only will they not get the time back but, as they age, learning becomes tougher.

Learning who we are ties in with seeing more of the world. There are beauty and ugliness in this world and seeing things with different perspective helps us by offering more choices. Too many choices can be a bad thing so knowing who we are narrows down the choices. We want to work towards our strength which excels in some fields more than other fields.

Once we know who we are and what we truly desire, we can finally decide on our destination. Wandering aimlessly doesn't get you ahead and time isn't going to wait for you. If you destination requires a degree to open doors, go to school so you can get it. If you don't need degrees, pursue your dream so that, when other people are just graduating, you'd already invested a few years in your pursuit of success.

[Rick(amateur)]

-Journey 4-

Let's assume that we have determined our destination like being a business owner or become a professional singer. We might have a destination but this doesn't necessarily mean that our journey has begun. We all, at one point in life, had great dreams of what we wanted to do, especially when we were kids and believe nothing is impossible, but many of us never go through with it.

The issues lies in the lack of courage for most of us regarding starting on this journey. There are many uncertainties and challenges along the way and these terrify us. After all, we only think about a new destination when we aren't happy with our lives. There are things in our lives we'd rather not have so we desire change. The irony lies in that we might be unwilling to experience the change.

When we start on a new journey, we must abandon our old journey. This isn't always a bad thing but people have familiarity with their old journey. The new destination isn't going to happen overnight and might happen years or even decades from now. The terrifying prospect of the new journey makes people, despite how much they hate it, stick with their old journey.

As a gamer, I like to use a game as an example. Let's say we want to play an adventure game and we just finished our character creation. We then have an open world to explore and we can decide where we want to do. Do we hesitate to begin? Do we fear hostile enemies waiting out there? Or do we charge head first ready to tackle any challenges that might come our way?

The character creation is basically us defining ourselves from our old selves. It's through this process that we determine our new destination. We might not charge head first in real life due to the inability to save and reload if anything goes wrong. Yet, we must remember that, the more we hesitate, the less likely we'll reach the destination.

In addition, we go through life exactly like this. Remember the first time you started a job. You weren't confident in your skills and wonder if you can keep working there. After a year, you're like a veteran and what seemed terrifying becomes something you're comfortable with. That's how we go through life. We go from a terrifying experience to something we can do with ease. Take that first step knowing it won't be as terrifying a hundred steps in!

[Rick(amateur)]

-Journey 5-

Let's assume that we have taken our first step on our journey, a feat many failed to take. We might have taken our first step but this doesn't meant things will get easier. In video games, the start of the games are generally easier with the difficulty increasing the further you go. For real life, it works quite differently where you'll found yourself facing many challenges from the very beginning.

We will encounter resistance from family members and critiques from complete strangers. We will face lots of pressure which constantly feeds doubt into us if we let them. The beginning is often very rough and, for many people, this is also where many gave up thinking they cannot do it. It's one thing to get started but another thing altogether to keep going.

You might wonder why people want to experience a journey where the beginning is so rough. Let me use an example of you getting a 98% on a test. You will feel great and your chances of revisiting everything related to the exam is nonexistent. You might be a good student and check what you got wrong but that's about it. This goes for the journey as well where, if you are doing well, you won't change.

Our society has gotten into a mentality that emphasizes we don't change what isn't broken. If things are going along, we don't do anything regarding it and fail to adapt to situations we never saw coming. If a journey begins easy, we'd think we can complete it with ease not knowing that we are ill-prepared for the challenges up ahead. That's why we need a tough start. We have to learn that things won't get easy and we must work hard for every bit of progress.

Now, why can we not start easier and tackle the challenges later? We have more at stake later so we don't want to take the same risks. Let's say you started a company when you're single where failure would only affect you. What if things went well and you got married along with getting kids? Challenges arrive and you feel pressured since there are more people affected by the outcome of how you do with your company.

I don't think any journeys really get easier later on. There might be greater challenges up ahead. The only difference is you. You possess different skill sets and your mastery of them differs. The more you were challenged at the start, the better you can tackle obstacles and you can take calculated risks as opposed to going into the dark hoping you end up where you want to be.

[Rick(amateur)]

-Journey 6-

Last entry, I talked about the challenges we experience at the start of the journey. These aren't there to stop you but, rather, teach you and prepare you for the unexpected challenges up ahead. Let's say you overcame these initial challenges because you found the reason and passion to keep moving forward. While the journey won't get any easier by much, you at least have what it takes to keep moving forward.

When we go on a journey or adventure, we should enjoy it and have fun. We shouldn't be so goal orientated that we miss out on our surroundings. After all, the journey would be a lot more enjoyable if we are having fun. Instead of feeling like we are doing chores or hard work, we do something we love and the goals will be met with ease and you'll achieve them without even noticing.

The journey will show you the beauty of the world and people who you want to become part of your life. That's why we want to go on these journeys. We won't meet them if we are too afraid to leave our comfort zone. Remember that only you can enter your comfort zone so it's a lonely experience if you dare not step out of your comfort zone.

I'll use myself as an example. I started Dwaan because I wanted to help people. The start hasn't been easy as my website and channel have yet to get much attention. I know these are slow processes so I remain patient and keep working away. It's a steady grind where I can only be victorious if I keep going. Knowing that what I'm doing will help people, I have no reason to give up on this dream of mine.

Along the way, I met with people who joined me on podcast. That hasn't been possible lately with real life getting busy but I'm still working away with the social media to get people's attention without spamming. I also got comments, mostly in forums where I do these sort of journals, and I get the impression I'm heading in the right direction. Progress might seem nonexistent but I'm definitely charting the right course.

Of course, I set goals as to what I want to achieve with my website and channel. However, those goals are secondary to what I really want to do. I won't let the lack of results bother me since almost everyday brings something unexpectedly pleasant into my life. I'm just enjoying the journey best I can and, before I know it, I'll finish a few goals and can progress to bigger goals!

[Rick(amateur)]

-Journey 7-

I want to elaborate on my general idea of a good destination. There are two things destination must have. First, it have be able to support you financial. This might not be financial freedom but you'll enjoy financial stability with the income provided from whatever dream you have picked. There's nothing better making a living out of something you love!

The second thing is regarding how many people benefit from your destination. If all you're focusing on is making yourself happy and fulfilled, then you'll find yourself in a situation where it's still not enough. You are trying to fill a void but you cannot fill it since you constantly want more. Such a situation would see you never happy and that isn't the destination you had in mind.

We have heard stories of rich people who aren't happy. They can afford anything they want and yet this doesn't bring them happiness. Why? It's quite simple. We as humans want to help people out! We get a good feeling when we take time helping strangers. I'm sure a lot of people had those feelings when they volunteered for something that matters. Nothing can truly replace that sort of feeling.

Therefore, we feel more joy when doing what we love also help other people. Let's say you build houses and rent them out. Part of your destination/dream is building housing that are affordable for low income families or students who need places to stay while they go to school. You aren't doing this for the thanks from these people. You are doing it because you know it makes a difference. That is what gives your life a greater meaning.

When you help people, you aren't expecting anything back. You don't need gratitude or thanks. Humans might appear selfish often but I'm certain people, if given a choice, want to be selfless. The environment can have a major impact in shaping who we are. In a selfish society, we naturally become that way. However, we still see selflessness in our society so we mustn't ever give up hope. We can all be selfless if we work hard enough.

We must also remember that, when we purchase something nice, it's great for a few days or months before the feeling is gone. When we help others, we know we made a difference and that feeling lasts forever. You might still remember the smiles of those you help later in life because those moments are priceless.

Let's go back to the example of making affordable housing. Maybe the parents of a family got laid off due to bad economy and not due to laziness or other negative traits. There's nothing more rewarding seeing them get through difficult times and they thanking you later in life because you cared about them first. When we help each other more, there's more happiness and positivity resulting in a better society as a whole.

[Rick(amateur)]

-Hope-

Hope is very valuable because, when we lose hope, we generally give up completely. Let's say we are part of a sports team and we see ourselves at a huge deficit. If we lost hope about a comeback, we won't even play hard and probably wish the match would be over already. No miracle can change that since we have stopped working towards the small chance of a comeback.

For many people dealing with anxiety, depression and other mental illnesses, hope is such a critical factor related to their chances of overcoming their challenges. They need hope to continue the fight until they can be victorious eventually. These battles don't last a few day, weeks or even months. Many constantly deal with this issues for years and hope is often one of the reasons they keep on fighting.

In our society, people facing such issues have a very uphill battle. We have a stigma towards mental health which is a large obstacle in itself. This results in fewer resources invested in mental health treatment. We can see this with where we can go if we were physically ill. There are clinics, family doctors and emergency rooms for various physical illnesses. The same cannot be said about the mental illnesses.

This is only complicated when gender is involved. When so few resources are invested in mental illnesses, we see very small portion of it invested in boys and young men. People assume that men can simply "man" up and deal with these issues. If mental illnesses were so easy to deal with, we wouldn't have such a problem in the first place.

When those suffering cannot find help, they lose hope in their fight. When they lose hope, they will search for ways out and some go for suicide. If we can better tackle mental illnesses and give people the help they desperately need, then suicide rates should drop dramatically. People might point to all the information online but these cannot be compared to actual interaction with another person.

A person can have the most incredible writing and type it all online. A touching story can be great but the typed words cannot do it justice. Neither do video do justice to a powerful speaker since there are things you only feel when you are in their presence. The same is for those seeking help. They need real live people who can offer them comfort and give professional advice. Their physical presence give anchor to those fighting what appears to be a losing battle.

For those fighting these incredibly difficult battles, they need hope to not only keep fighting but also hold onto the belief they can be victorious. Such hope cannot be given over the internet or over the phone. Such hope can only be given by the physical presence of someone who has been there and won the war. As great as videos are, there's nothing more powerful than being present to the storytelling of a veteran of mental illnesses.

[Rick(amateur)]

-Hope 2-

When we lose hope, we practically give up completely. The opposite is also true where even a glimmer of hope can get them back up. If we were stuck in a very dark setting where there's no light, we feel helplessness and despair. If a firefly came along, we see hope. The firefly might not give much light but it provides enough to get us going again, especially in absolute darkness.

While a sun or flashlight might be nice, a firefly is the smallest thing we need to overcome a darkness that's completely overwhelming. When we are young and deal with various mental issues, we don't know where to go or who to seek help from. If there was a firefly acting as our guide, we'd never notice the darkness. After all, the illumination would be the only thing catching our attention.

I knew that, when I was experiencing the darkness and attempted my suicide, a small firefly would've made all the difference. Most of us don't need a lot of hope. A glimmer of hope that doesn't vanish after a few seconds provides us with strength we never thought we had. With that strength, we won't let any obstacles or challenges stand in our way.

That's why we need to give people hope. We don't need famous and successful people to give hope. Ordinary people can change lives, especially if they faced similar demons in the past. They don't need to give a lot to those in need. All they have to do is share a small act of kindness or give some words of encouragement. Small things matter and we mustn't forget that.

There are people out there calling for help but their voices are often lost. Most times, their silence say more than what comes out of their mouth. Do the small things like greet people or give hugs. They might refuse to accept at first because they only saw ugliness of our world. Eventually, we can show them the beauty of the world by providing them light through the small acts of kindness.

[Rick(amateur)]

-Hesitation-

While I was exploring my past regarding what I needed to improve, I realized that I hesitated a lot. I thought about a lot of changes and got many great ideas but, after some hesitation, I never went through them. I'm sure this is the case for a lot of people reading this. Whenever we do something new, we tend to hesitate since we doubt ourselves and wonder if this idea was good or not.

When we hesitate, we often think about the worst case scenarios if we went through with it. There might be good things but all our brain comes up with happened to be a list of bad thing. In essence, hesitation gives our brain time to come up with the list to help dissuade us. If we simply went through without hesitation, the list wouldn't show up and we likely would go through with it.

Now, this is essentially how brain is designed. It's built to protect us from danger and it worked very well for our ancestors who were hunting out in the wilderness. Basically, trying something new back then risked more. A mistake and they become some other creature's meal. That was the case then but no longer the case now. In many ways, failures nowadays doesn't meant immediate death.

I honestly don't think our brain has evolved. It still responds similarly as it had with our ancestors regarding pain, fear, pleasure and other responses. What changed is how our society operated and the technological advances we made over the centuries. We no longer run the risks of simply dying following a bad gamble. If anything, our current society rewards those who risks and never give up.

Hesitation no longer suits us nowadays when failures are basically lessons to get us further in life. Our brain might use hesitation to dissuade us but it's not always right due to how it's programmed. If we have a big dream, we shouldn't hesitate or there's a good chance it won't even get started. When you know you found your purpose, don't let hesitation stop you!

[Rick(amateur)]

-Hesitation 2-

Here are some ways I believe can help people overcome hesitation. Like most things in life, we need to figure out why we are hesitating. There are generally two reasons for why we hesitate, though there are a lot more other reasons depending on the person involved. The first reason is the lack of confidence. This is quite common where we aren't certain of our abilities to do a certain thing.

This lack of confidence might be due to low self-esteem or failures that were never forgotten. When we try to do something new, it's not hard to think back to our failures and begin doubting our abilities to do so. The fear of more failure easily transitions hesitation to outright rejection. No one want to fail and, as a result, the only route would be not taking action at all.

The second reason is the lack of courage. We lack courage to face our fears and the uncertainty. We might fear embarrassment following failure. In our society, many people want the approval of others. In a classroom setting, the person who stands out the most is usually the weirdo or the class clown, neither of which are really desirable for most people.

Regarding lack of confidence, people must know that they have the potential. They must also remember that things they could do confidently in the present wasn't always like that. For instance, people don't know how to bike when they were born. They had to learn and, after a few falls with some scrapes and cuts, master biking. This is the same with everything else as they're no different from biking.

As for lack of courage, people are braver than they think. This is often seen when they try out new things in life. This might be trying out a new cuisine or go to a new environment. For many people, the transition from elementary school to high school wasn't exceptionally smooth. It's a pretty big change with the pacing and the subjects learned. If people are adapt to these transitions, they can adapt to many other things and just have to believe in themselves.

In addition, the fear is natural because how's our brain is wired. Being fearful is part of being human but we mustn't let fear control our lives. This allows an emotion take over our decision making as opposed to our rational side or our gut. Our gut always have the best intention in mind while fear only gives our the options of fight or flee, neither of which are optimal when we try to pursue a dream.

The fear and confidence can be overcome by making small goals. Big dreams won't happen overnight but they are still made up of small building blocks. The building blocks can be accomplished each day and each of these achievements chase away a bit more fear and builds up a bit more confidence. Take these small steps and, before you know it, you have reached a certain milestone you never thought you can reach.

[Rick(amateur)]

-Procrastination-

Procrastination is basically delaying or putting off something until the last minute. I'm sure people reading this have experienced procrastination in their lives. I'm one of those people still working hard to change procrastination and it's a slow process. After all, we all know the difficulty of changing a bad habit which seemed to easy to adopt in the first place.

One of the main reasons why we procrastinate is due to the "I don't feel like it." We all heard people responding when we asked them if they did their homework or performed a certain chore. Now, why don't we feel like doing it? First, we lack the motivation to do the certain action. I firmly believe that things we need motivation to be done won't ever be done.

Motivation rarely lasts long and, when we lack it, we lose whatever got us started in the first place, assuming we started. Given how unreliable motivation can be, it's not a good enough reason to get something done. A better reason is fighting for a better future. A person who works full-time while studying will study harder than those who live with their parents and don't have such a heavy financial burden.

Essentially, those who are faced with problems like starvation and homelessness won't need more motivation to work hard. No amount of motivation for someone who's more fortunate can rival such a desperation. That's partially why I haven't done as well in school and I know there are people out there who invested more time and effort in school than me. We don't need more motivation in our lives. We need a better reason for why we are doing certain things.

Secondly, boredom also promotes procrastination. Many people like me see homework as boring so we procrastinate. We of course never procrastinate when we are doing fun things. When was the last time we put off the invitation of a party or an event related to our hobbies at the very last minute? For things that are boring, we don't see it as exciting and that's usually a good enough reason to delay it until it's unavoidable.

Procrastination really hinders our ability to move forward, especially for our dreams. Our dreams might be big and need five or ten years to become a reality. When we keep putting it off to start, we'll never get started and we cannot finish if we never start. The start of a dream is usually dull and boring so we need more than motivation to get started. Then, we also need a why to keep us going.

[Rick(amateur)]

-Procrastination 2-

Here are some other reasons we use to justify our procrastination. We might claim we don't know how to do something. That's clearly not a good reason since, in life, we don't have all the answers. Yet, that shouldn't stop us from moving forward. How many of us know how we should study or excel at school? How many of us start a job knowing how to do every single task?

The how actually becomes irrelevant because we'll learn how eventually. We need to have a good mindset heading in. This mindset sees us learning everything we can and mastering skills that will benefit us the most. We must also accept that mistakes will be made and learn from them. Life has an interesting way to showing us the how when we move forward. If we are too afraid to make the first step, even life couldn't show the how to us.

There are also situations where people do all this research about a certain thing and feel overwhelmed. Our internet has so much information and much of it will be useless for you. They won't benefit you in your journey leading to your dream and filling them in your brains means less useful info can fit it. Doing some research can be good but it's far better going head in and do research along the way for things you actually encounter.

Another reason is the fear of failure. This is closely tied to not knowing how. If we don't know how, we think up the worst case scenario. At school, we might think we'll fail and drop out. At work, we might worry about being fired for making a terrible mistake. There might be nothing supporting these but our imagination can be powerful and convinces us that there's a good chance of these happening.

Ironically, there are also people who fear of succeeding. Now, I have never experienced this and it doesn't make a lot of sense to me. However, I have encountered people with this issue. They worry that, by getting a certain task done, the expectations are higher for them. When the bars are raised and they fail to reach them, they fear that people might accuse them of cheating the first time.

In life, we cannot hope to stay where we are all the time. That's the only way we truly fail in life. We cannot move forward if we choose to anchor exactly where we stand. Now, success is a good thing if we use it to keep working harder. We all want and need a chance to shine. There's nothing better than tapping into your potential and have people who recognize your worth.

It's one thing to find success and another to maintain this success. Then, it's something altogether different to reach newer heights after your initial success. We all have a purpose of inspiring the new generations so they want to pursue on these difficult journeys leading to their own definition of success. When we stand still, we become nobodies and no one want to be nobodies in our world.

[Rick(amateur)]

Hey everyone! Someone made a comment on my procrastination entries and this is my response to it.

-Procrastination 2A-

He talked about how procrastination is closely tied to his depression. I can certainly see that as a case where they feed one another. We all know that, when we procrastinate due to fear of something, we create stress that put a strain in ourselves. This stress feeds our anxiety which, in turn, causes more procrastination resulting in a rather vicious cycle. The two things are tied but their severity differs from people and I'm no expert in the matter.

He also question my definition of being better and striving for success. I understand that these two things can be vastly difference when we compare people to people. We have different interests and goals in life. Our values, culture and everything we encounter in life shape our perspective of these two things. Since no two people experience the exact same things, there's no set definition that accommodates two or more people.

This is what I think should define our success. This is more of a rough guideline that serves are a basic structure. What people add onto it really depends on them. I think success must have happiness and fulfillment. Two things that cannot be bought with money alone which is why I think too many people are striving for the wrong things in life.

What makes us happy? Our hobbies, interests and things we value are all good indication. If you like playing games, then games make you happy. It might be a distraction or escape but it gives you happiness, even if it's temporary. This is what it separates happiness from fulfillment. Fulfillment is aimed for long term and isn't something fleeting. Therefore, fulfillment cannot be achieved by doing something for a short while.

Let's keep using gaming as an example. You might use gaming to bring happiness while you go to school. It helps you relax and not worry about the problems in life. Yet, does it feel meaningful in life? Does it give you something that, when you look back when you're old, you feel proud of? For me, gaming as a hobby won't do that for me. Of course, I cannot say the same for other people.

Our success, which differs for everyone, must bring us both happiness and fulfillment. This is merely a balance of us getting both short term and long term satisfaction in life. The short term will remind us we are heading in the right direction while the long term will be proof we picked the right journey and destination in life. Essentially, you have found success when you found a good balance that doesn't require you to sacrifice anything to achieve your definition of success. You still have ups and downs but you won't regret going on this journey.

Now we move onto being better. What does it mean to be better? Once again, I cannot answer this for anyone other than myself. I believe we all have great potential and a unique talent no one else can rival. Our job is to find that and share our talent with the world by changing it in unimaginable ways. Finding it is merely the start but, when you do, you can start aiming to be a better version of yourself.

You are better when you tap more into your potential. Humans have incredible abilities since they can make the impossible possible. We don't have limits except for those we place on ourselves. Even physical limits are questionable since we have people breaking world records in the Olympics. When do we get to a point where we are certain we reached it? Maybe when the records can no longer be broken?

Now, not everyone agree we have a purpose. However, I do think everyone has a role to play on this planet. I'm not religious but I believe everything that happens in our lives weren't coincidences. Every person we meet and every event we experience are there to shape those we encounter. Some of us might not be here to change the world but we can change lives by giving hope and encouragement.

Being better takes place when we know who we are or we're in the process of searching. We don't let others decide who we should become as nobody knows us better. We must remember that our heart/gut knows us best so we must listen to that. When we are living our lives to its fullest everyday being who we are, that's when we know we are becoming better/best versions of ourselves.

[Rick(amateur)]

-Procrastination 3-

I want to discuss how I think we should deal with procrastination so it won't hinder our lives. One of the reasons causing procrastination is fear. We have fear of failure, fear of success and fear of uncertainty to name a few. When we let fear govern our decision making, we very easily think of the worst case scenarios that, while very unlikely, will stop us in our tracks of doing something.

These worst case scenarios can get so bad we actually see the act of doing something having the potential to kill us. We must remember that times have changed and things we procrastinate usually don't kill us. Let's use dreams as an example. Let's say you have an "unconventional" dream of being a singer or a writer. It's true that, when you start and before you become famous, your life will be tough.

You will be scraping by and making do of little to no income while you try to make your dream a reality. You need to constantly work hard and improve yourself. That and a little bit of luck will eventually see you succeed. However, scraping by is different from trying to survive in an environment where you are a prey to other animals.

Our ancestors, those from a time where civilization was just starting and much of the world is still wilderness, faced these kind of threats. A mistake by them might see them eaten by wolves or bears. They can ill-afford mistakes since they have only one shot at life. Nowadays, we cannot say the same since most of the mistakes we make won't kill us. If anything, these mistakes make us stronger as a result.

When we pursue a dream, we often travel a lonely journey faced with numerous obstacles. I never said such a journey would be easy but we don't face the threat of death like our ancestors did. That's why, despite the impression that our brain is protecting us, we must convince it otherwise with logic and rationale. Our brain is different from those of other animals due to our ability to better reason with ourselves and each other.

Here's one instance where internet can be useful. We can search up stories of people who achieved feats similar to our dreams. If we read about their stories, we see the hardships they encounter but, more often than not, most of these hardships don't come close to death. At the very least, they usually don't rival the worst case scenarios we thought up of due to our incredible imagination.

When fear is causing our procrastination, we need to do some research. Not too much or we'll never get started. We need to learn if there's any reason supporting the fear and not let the most unlikely scenario dictate how we approach an issue. When we can tackle the source of our fear, we'll allow our rationale, not fear, decide our future!

[Rick(amateur)]

-Procrastination 4-

This entry, I want to talk about procrastination caused by boredom or the "I don't feel like it" mentality. For both of these, we need to figure out our why. Not everyone needs a why to rid procrastination but I feel a stronger why can help many people who find themselves procrastinating regarding things like pursuing a dream they always wanted.

Regardless of what dreams we have, the beginning will be tough, dull and won't see us make much progress in our pursuit. For those who have started on their dreams, it's usually this stage when they give up. Things weren't as exciting as they believed it was initially. After all, we might pursue something we saw on the internet or television and those are the success stories.

We must remember that the start will get tough and might be filled with boredom. We must plan, make goals and do things that weren't fun. For instance, I have a YouTube channel. I enjoy making the recordings but those are only part of my tasks. I must also edit and, if the recordings didn't go well, I must redo the recordings. There are times when I have to make the same recordings multiple times until the sound quality is acceptable given my equipment.

We'll also encounter mistakes early on and these mistakes make it worse. We not only feel bad about being a "failure" but we also develop doubt in ourselves. We don't like the feeling of "failing" and these can discourage us enough that we give up altogether. For other dreams, they have their own frustrations and lack the short-term gains people often desperately search for and needing to justify their decision to walk this path.

At the start, we are building a foundation necessary to our success. The foundation is hard work that doesn't feel especially satisfying but we cannot ignore it. Imagine a high rise with a terrible foundation. How much trust would you put into something that can collapse onto itself because someone took shortcuts and didn't do the work need?

What gets us to build a strong foundation is our why. Why do I make videos and write these entries? I want to help people by providing a perspective and start a discussion. Too often, I heard stories of people suffering mental illnesses state they cannot find a place they can belong to. These people search for forums but I feel there's only so much that can be accomplish with words typed on a screen.

I want to make videos and podcasts where people can hear others talk about serious issues. We aren't always in the mood of reading something but we can listen. If someone cannot sleep, they can maybe turn on one of my podcasts and listen. They can hear how they aren't alone. They can also see both the similarities and difference between themselves and others with similar problems.

Having suffered but being fortunate to not deal with as serious issues as many others here, I think I have a duty to help those who seek for help. We cannot always expect the government to do something about mental health issues so us ordinary people have to stand up for it. That's my why so I'm not going to stop until I make my dream come true.

As soon as our why involves more than us, we stop fighting for ourselves. When we fight for only ourselves, we give up easily if we don't want to deal with it anymore. When we fight for other people too, we are constantly reminded that we cannot give up for their sake. That belief is what separates those reaching their dreams and those who give up shortly after they started!

[Rick(amateur)]

-Realistic-

In our lives, we all experience situations where people tell us to make realistic goals and realistic dreams. We shouldn't be dreamers and do crazy things. I heard this countless time and had agreed to it for a long time. Yet, times have changed and, after experiencing some lessons taught to me by life itself, I began to hate it when people tell me to be realistic with my future.

After all, what do they mean by realistic? Whose standard is this realistic based upon? What is realistic to one person might be unrealistic for another person. I'm a pretty skinny guy so it's unrealistic to see me lifting weights like I do it regularly. For those training for years, it's realistic for them. Until we define what's meant by realistic, we are basically sending the wrong message to people.

We each have our strengths and weaknesses so a vague term like realistic simply doesn't work. Our society has a mold which is considered realistic for everyone. We go to school, get a degree and then get a job. This is the most realistic view our society promotes, especially through our schools. Anything that strays from this path is unrealistic and frowned upon.

We must remember that not everyone can study and do well in exams. I'm one of those people who can do alright but it's not how I learn. The way schools teach and test are probably the worst match for me. On the contrary, I learn best with things I enjoy and I self teach myself. With my YouTube channel and website, I learn from guides online and obtained more useful things than what I can grasp from my lectures.

This is likely the case for many other people where the school environment doesn't suit them. They cannot sit still and need other ways of learning which is why our schools must diversify how classes are taught. If we use the same standards for all students, some will fail since they cannot excel in such an environment. This is especially bad for the newer generations who, after failing, get the idea they are stupid and worthless.

I was fortunate to learn from experience that I'm not stupid and worthless. I've merely been pursuing the wrong path and stumbled every bit of the way. I'm charting a proper course now and would have been on the way long ago if schools were so terribly structured and forcing its students into a mold. I have learned that the realistic expectations, goals and dreams society expect of us don't suit me so I'll walk my own path!

[Rick(amateur)]

-Realistic 2-

Last entry, I talked how we shouldn't let society or other people decide what's realistic for us. What's possible for one person might not be for another. We know ourselves best or, at the very least, we are in the best position to discover who we are. The early stages of our life are discovering what we are truly capable of but this cannot be achieved by going to school.

Sadly, schools nowadays are aimed to teach us what to think and not how to think. They emphasis this mold we must fit into or we'll be outcasts and failures in our society. We can only discover who we are by seeing more of the world with our own two eyes, not through a monitor or screen. Only by seeing more of this world and meeting more people can we slowly piece together what makes us unique in this world.

For this entry, I want to talk about us setting realistic goals for ourselves. This is the realistic we determined for ourselves. We have picked what we wanted to pursue in life and what awaits us is to get there step by step. To get there, we make goals for ourselves and, by accomplishing each goal, we get closer and closer until the dream is a reality. However, goal setting isn't as easy as many people think it might be.

When we set unrealistic goals, we get into a situation where we don't meet it and get discouraged. Discouragement can be so powerful that many people give up on their dreams due to it. When we set proper goals, we can avoid this altogether. Now, you might wonder what I meant by unrealistic goals. One example would be expecting ten thousand loyal subscribers within the first month of making a YouTube channel. This isn't impossible but your odds are probably worse than winning a lottery.

There are unreasonable expectations in life and we must realize them. Too many people nowadays expect success instantly or very early on. Unrealistic goals are generally those that support these crazy expectations. When these aren't met, those people no longer think they can do it when they are actually experiencing what anybody else would experience in their situation. Some might get faster growth but, generally, the start is the toughest.

I personally believe that the early goals for people, regardless of what they pursue, is to make as many mistakes as possible and learn from them as quickly as possible. Early on, we shouldn't be expecting any success and, instead, learn how to build a strong foundation. Any success is just a bonus but we shouldn't expect these to happen.

It's through making mistakes and getting through the learning stages that we learn what goals we can set for ourselves. It's never a bad idea to set smaller goals but there's a difference between smaller and low goals. Small goals are merely breaking things down so we can see progress easier and build confidence through them. Low goals are lowering our expectations and killing any momentum we could have by playing too safe.

Setting goals is never easy and it's a constant learning process. The successful people nowadays are those who made plenty of mistakes and set goals they can reach. That's why we shouldn't be too focused on goal setting at the very beginning since we tend to make them unrealistic. Instead, we should learn when we can afford mistakes and become better informed in the matter to set better goals.

[Rick(amateur)]

-Instinct-

Instinct has been with us humans for thousands of years. This has kept our ancestors from way back when alive against all the dangers posed in the environment they lived it. These dangers are usually in the form of wild animals that are bigger, faster and stronger than our ancestors. One mistake would see a human being a meal for these wild creatures.

I wish to talk about instinct because there has been mentions for a number of my entries regarding gut feeling. I spoke about how we should trust our gut in pursuing our dreams. Our gut feelings are very accurate like certain dangerous situations and we might not know what's happening. Our gut tells us to flee and, by listening to it, we avoid unfavorable fate.

Yet, our gut can also dash our dreams and this contradicts with what I said in the last paragraph. Essentially, our instinct is a double-edged sword and can work either way. It's a matter of how we use our instinct that determines whether we'll find success or not. While the part of our brain controlling our instincts haven't changed much since our ancestors, other parts of our brain have developed and we should use all of them.

We see our instinct as a feeling where we don't have logic. It's that sixth sense people talk about but couldn't explain. Then, we have other parts of the brain that process the information and use a logical approach to figure out the best approach. When we see an accident up ahead blocking off an intersection, our brain tells us to turn so we can avoid it altogether.

There are some situations where we shouldn't question instinct because the split second decision might be the difference between life and death. There are also other situations where our life isn't at risk but the fear within us equate the scenario to that of getting eaten by predators. The latter situation is where we must process the information from our instinct to see if the fear has basis or not.

We have examples of where we do suppress some of the messages sent by our instincts. We have soldiers who are going on dangerous missions. Their instinct will tell them how dangerous the mission can be but they still proceed forward. Not only are lots at stake depending on their mission's outcome but the actions promoted by instincts will likely spell failure due to how oversimplified our instincts makes in our decision making, either fight or flight.

[Rick(amateur)]

-Instinct 2-

I wish to discuss the fear related to our instinct. When we get into situations that are dangerous, our instinct tells us to fight or flee. More often than not, we are told to flee because it's the safer of the two options. Fighting might see us wounded or killed so it's a last resort when we have no other options. It's exactly this flee mentality that affects so many people in their decision making.

For our ancestors from a much unforgiving environment, instinct will increase their odds of survival. Nowadays, we live in a much different world. Sure, we have dangers like criminals in cities and wild predators in the wilderness. These dangers still linger but, for the majority of the people nowadays, we don't face close to the amount of dangers faced by our ancestors. As a result, we don't need to rely on instinct as heavily.

Uncertainty is one of the biggest causes for our fears nowadays. We don't know how the future will hold and this can be a very terrifying experience. Yet, many things we deal with now cannot equate with what our ancestors felt. Therefore, it makes no sense when we are using the same decision making as our ancestors where flee or fight are the only two options available to us.

Sadly, our society promote an image where making mistakes can equate to a fate as bad, if not worse, as death. Our schools tell us to not make mistakes and those who make a few too many drop out. Exams are used to test how few mistakes you can make. These standards aren't suitable for everyone but our society has reached a stage where making mistake is frowned upon and too many people fail life as a result. No progress can be made by those who fear mistakes and that's been proven over and over again in history.

This image promoted by society and our instincts kicking in when we attempt something new basically reinforce each other until we are fully convinced with what we're told. Our instincts are outdated in certain aspects which is understandable but we have no reason to keep our way of thinking primitive. We aren't making progress if only technological advances are made and no improvements are made to our minds and ideas.

Therefore, we must learn when we can trust the judgement of our instinct. Nobody can teach us that except the experiences we have in life. Instinct has saved lives but it has also destroyed lives. Essentially, we shouldn't completely rely on it. There are other parts of our brain that can be used in decision making but, regardless of which parts you're using, don't let society or others control how you think. Nothing in life is perfect so we should question things to see if they're valid or not. As for our own lives, no one knows it best than ourselves!

[Rick(amateur)]

-Instinct 3-

Last entry, I talked about how instinct can be bad for us. This is tied more closely to the fear factor of instinct. However, we cannot neglect the desire aspect of instinct which's one of the keys to future success. Just as instinct can end dreams for some, it can also be a powerful driving force for others which ultimately sees them reach success yearned by many but few can achieve.

Why is the desire so important? Here's what I see in people who only use logic during their decision making. With logic, we like to analyze the situation so we can weigh the pros and cons of a decision. Let's use the dream of becoming a professional singer who sells albums regularly year after years. This is a dream some people like to pursue but only a small minority reach the dream.

If we use logic, we see the odds being way too low. It's probably easier winning the lottery than becoming one of the top singers revered around the world. What happens when we see this overwhelming odds? Our logical mind searches for alternatives to see what route has better odds. Now, there's nothing in life that has a hundred percent success rate but there are certain paths with better odds than something like professional singer.

Of course, the logical mind will also take into account of talent. If we are convinced that we lack the talent, then we'd never think we can succeed. We would question how we compete with someone with so much talent that they can do incredible things with ease. As a result, we stop ourselves from even trying the moment we see people who are more talented than us.

Sadly, talent doesn't necessarily define success. Those who, despite lacking talent, work harder than everyone else and perseveres will. Yet, our logical mind won't believe that and wants the path of least resistance. That's how our logical mind works. It will suggest the easier paths because it makes more sense and odds of success, whatever this success might be, is more likely.

For people who deny their instincts, I feel they are walking a dangerous path. Logic can work for some areas but it cannot fulfill in every role we need in life. At least, it won't be enough to get us the success we desire in life if we rely solely on it. We mustn't neglect logic but we shouldn't see it as the sole method of thinking either. After all, many crazy things done in the past like going into space weren't accomplished simply through logical minds alone.

[Rick(amateur)]

-Instinct 4-

In the last entry, I basically described a situation I see if we rely solely on logic during our decision making. To make our dreams come true, we must stand out and be different. Being the social animals we are and believing that numbers represent strength, our logic clearly indicates that being different is unfavorable in various situations and therefore we never take the first step needed to start on the path of making our dreams a reality.

Therefore, we need instinct or, more specifically, the desire aspect of instinct. Our desires are things that we want and we are often willing to sacrifice a lot for it. It's true that desires make us do terrible things sometimes but logic isn't exactly innocent either. Both desires and logic, if pushed to the extremes, can make people do terrible things so people agree the extremes can be very dangerous.

For desires, I want to use an example of a young person who has recently gotten his or her driver's license. This person wants a second hand car and, after talking to parents, he or she got into an agreement with the father who is willing to pay half the cost. This person could then find a job and work enough hours to save up enough money. Let's say the job opportunities are few at the moment and a job was found relatively quickly.

After a month, the person found the job conditions pretty awful. The management cares little about its employees and, whenever something goes wrong, this person is blamed regardless of the truth. Our logical mind most likely tells us to ditch the job since this suffering isn't worth it for the car. It tells us that we can always find another job. The other jobs proved to be no better and logic eventually convinces the person that the car can wait until later.

With desire, the person won't say no to the car so he or she keeps tolerating the work environment until the money is made. Then, he or she can leave the job for good and gets the car. In addition, the person learns perseverance since lots of things in life won't go our way. Most of us won't find our ideal jobs early on and have to work in poor work conditions. Without perseverance, we won't ever stay at a job long enough to gain experience to ensure better job opportunities.

Logic sadly tells us to go the easy way out. It's convincing us that no pain is worth it and, with stories of people getting lucky breaks, logic persuades us that this can happen to us as well. At least, the odds of lucky break is higher than pursuing a seemingly impossible dream. This is why logic isn't ideal for all situations and desires can be such a powerful driving force if we are just too stubborn to say no to our dreams!

[Rick(amateur)]

-Instinct 5-

The desire factor of our instinct can get us to do things other people fear. By trying new things, we learn and, by learning, we improve until we become the person we always wanted. It's true that some people have better instincts than other people. They can differentiate the desires they need and desires they want so their decisions would result in better outcomes.

If our instincts aren't correct, we might even make terrible mistakes but, as I discussed in the past, mistakes aren't bad things. We cannot grow if we don't learn from mistakes and this is made impossible if we live so safely we avoid mistakes at all costs. Making mistakes also help sharpen our instincts so our judgement improves. In our current society, we can afford mistakes and nothing teaches us faster than experience itself.

For example, a person might invest all his money into stocks because he wanted to get rich quickly. He heard from others how this stock has a bright future ahead so, without thinking much, he invested everything. When the stock does very poorly, the person loses all his money and might become homeless. This lesson might actually teach him the meaning of never putting all the eggs into one basket, a lesson that couldn't really be taught until he experienced firsthand the losses.

Do note that going homeless doesn't mean his life ends. In the past, this could end poorly as the wilderness is very unforgiving. Yet, some of our most successful people had experienced some sort of homelessness in their lives. The mistakes we make now often change our lives dramatically but we still have opportunities to claw back up and reach newer heights as a result.

In life, no one can teach us how to find a balance between instinct and logic. Logic alone won't get us far and instincts take time to be fully developed. Only through making mistakes can we learn and develop our instincts. People believe that instinct is too outdated but the truth is instinct is equally valuable to us since it's a part of what makes us humans.

I like to see instinct and logic as tools available in our 'life' toolbox. For those working with tools long enough, they know which tool to use for what situation. What we try to achieve in life is knowing our 'life' toolbox so well that we can pick with ease the best tool for the situation. The most successful people have made so many mistakes that they know the best time to use instinct and the best time to use logic without hesitation just as experienced mechanics can select their tools without a second glance.

[Rick(amateur)]

-Role Models-

Role models can be very important in shaping us. When we are young, we need guidance during our development into adults and advice to help us with our decision making. What role models usually have in common is their success in the eyes of those looking up to them. They don't have to be celebrities but, if they achieve a success we are in awe of, we will look up to them. Of course, role models, like everything else in life, have pros and cons.

Let's say someone really loves a certain sport and sees a professional athlete in the same sport as a role model. The role model can be powerful inspiration since this person strives to be just like the athlete. This could be the drive to get the person working hard in pursuing their dreams. This is more powerful than simply watching motivational videos where we listen to people from so many different fields.

If you strive to be a singer and you listen to the talk of a successful entrepreneur, the talk might be less powerful than that came from a professional singer. In this case, it's very unlikely the person would see the entrepreneur as a role model. Therefore, it's rather important when it comes to picking our role models but role models also have a duty when it comes to what they share.

We all encountered situations where a professional athlete wins a championship for the first time and shares his/her thoughts. What this person talks about can change or destroy dreams. If the person shares the training he/she went through to get to the point, he/she is helping the younger generation by showing them all the hard work behind the scenes that went into this victory. Young people must understand that even these role models didn't get to their position without hard work and dedication.

The opposite effect can happen if the athlete thanks his/her loved ones and explained the teamwork leading up to that championship victory. There's nothing wrong here except it gives the wrong impression on the young people. If success wasn't found, the young people might make excuses like they lacked family members who supported them and their team wasn't good enough dragging the person down. This could see the person quitting altogether with all these excuses and possibly the idea he/she isn't good enough.

Role models can be powerful figures but they must be aware of what they should share to help inspire the newer generations. If they don't explain the hard work they had to do like working twice or thrice as hard as others, then they don't paint the complete picture resulting in those looking up to them to only see the fame and money that success brings them.

[Rick(amateur)]

-Role Model 2-

Last entry I discussed how role models can be very powerful and inspiring if they talked about the difficulties they encountered in their journey to success. Of course, they can also create a false image if they fail to mention this resulting in the opposite effect of making young people give up their dreams. This entry, I want to discuss role models who are using bad behaviors to their advantage.

For many young generations nowadays, they are struggling more with loneliness due to the introduction of the phones and other things technology offered us. They can text friends and use social media like Twitter and Facebook. The issue here is the lack of contact with an actual person. Sure, we can communicate with other people online and see the likes or replies but these can never replace the face to face talk.

Our world is changing very rapidly and problems will arise with the introduction of new technology. As our younger generations make full use of what's becoming a norm, they are also putting themselves more at risk with these empty relationships in life. To fight the loneliness that eating them from inside, they try to get attention, fit in and have people say nice things or like their comments online.

With the desire of getting more attention, they'd naturally turn their attention towards role models who are famous. There are good role models but there are also bad ones. Some of the bad ones might take drugs, commit crimes or do other bad behavior. Yet, their status allow them to get more attention, more famous and more rich. This is not the image we want the younger generation to see.

For our youngsters, copying the role models could put their lives into a downward spiral. They could go to jail or their lives might be ruined by becoming drug addicts. They don't understand that these things have consequences since their role models do it. That's why it's critical that we have more good role models so younger generations won't be mislead and have regrets for the rest of their lives.

The false image painted by role models who don't mention difficulties merely done so by oversight. Yet, some role models thrive on making the front page and would do anything regardless of the price they must pay. Our younger generations might not always know who is a good role model and it's up to us adults to help guide them and show them the way to a brighter future!

[Rick(amateur)]

-Role Model 3-

Last two entries, I was talking about role models who are famous. Those who are professional athletes or show up on the front page of newspaper and magazines. Yet, we mustn't overlook the role models who are very close to us and are generally very ordinary. Our parents are exactly those role models and their influence over our lives cannot be underestimated.

Our parents are the people we interact the most before we go to school. We are the most malleable then because we are just discovering the world and ask lots of questions. Our parents are those who shape our views and our personality through the actions they do and the words they say. We all know the saying monkey see, monkey do. We were monkeys then and like to copy our parents.

Because parents play such a critical role so early in our development, they serve as role models who can effectively make us who we become for years to come. Let's say parents who are alcoholics or drug addicts. Their kids would assume this is the norm in their world and do what their parents do. After all, who else can tell them what's right and what's wrong when they mostly spend their childhood with these parents?

What is equally cruel than the example above is single parents. Single parents have it tough raising their kids but most kids cannot develop properly if they lack a mother or a father. They need both role models to teach them how to interact with the same and opposite gender. Lacking one and they lean too far to one end which often gives them a more extreme view of the world. Like everything else in life, there needs to be a balance when it comes to families.

Good parents can do the exact opposite where they raise children with stronger self-esteem and greater confidence. They teach their kids how to think and not what to think. In addition, they let their children follow their dreams and, if that doesn't pan out, they make it known that the children can return home to where they will always belong. These are naturally tough because parenting is something we learn from experience and no amount of books can explain to us how to deal with each unique case.

To those parents out there, I know you have it tough with your responsibilities and burdens. Life might have never been kind to you but know that you are the critical factor to the early development of your children. You are their role models when they need guidance the most and your actions have far greater impact than you can imagine. How you raise your children will ultimately see how they fare in this relatively unforgiving world of ours!

[GaryP]

Hi All,

I really need some advice if possible. I didn't want to open another thread. I am going on holiday this Monday and there's a few things I can't get off my mind. I am going through a bad period, where relaxing is very difficult, I'm sleeping all day, if I can sleep. Normally I get nervous before my holidays but I'm usually excited as well. I'm just not sure how I'm going to be able to cope while travelling. I am having panic sometimes when I try and sleep, threrefore worried my holiday will be ruined by this. I am finding it hard to relax, and the thought of going on a plane is scary, because I'm worried about feeling anxious. The thing is, i love planes, love going on holiday for the food, and have been on 5 holidays abroad since I was aware of my anxiety. Each time I had sleeping tablets with me, this time I have sleeping tablets with me, however just less than usual.

My doctor doesn't usually give me diazpeam, but my mother gave me 3, so I plan to take one on the plane in the hope it will give me slight relief, therefore I can focus on just enjoying the plane. I've travelled to many places with zero sleep, getting up at 4 am to go, and survived, yet at the moment, things seem harder to control. Quite simply, normally I worry about going, but I am positive that once I'm there, I will relax. However this time, I am signed off work, struggling worse, and concerned I will not be in a good place the whole holiday. I am panicking over sleep, sometimes it affects me, but been trying not to care, as eventually I will sleep. The holiday destination has everything I love. Supermarkets for any food i want, food every night that is better than what I eat at home, sun, a nice pool I can jump in if I am too warm, nice balcony, and finally, at night time I love walking and seeing different places. I'm not feeling any positive thoughts towards these now, which is making it tough.

Any tips on how to rationalise everything, and how not to react to such worries? I've saved a lot to go, paid a lot to go, and it just sucks that I am not focused positively on the fact, I'll be away home, in a more relaxing setting. I hate where I live, and being off work, I've hated it more.

[Rick(amateur)]

Hi All,

I really need some advice if possible. I didn't want to open another thread. I am going on holiday this Monday and there's a few things I can't get off my mind. I am going through a bad period, where relaxing is very difficult, I'm sleeping all day, if I can sleep. Normally I get nervous before my holidays but I'm usually excited as well. I'm just not sure how I'm going to be able to cope while travelling. I am having panic sometimes when I try and sleep, threrefore worried my holiday will be ruined by this. I am finding it hard to relax, and the thought of going on a plane is scary, because I'm worried about feeling anxious. The thing is, i love planes, love going on holiday for the food, and have been on 5 holidays abroad since I was aware of my anxiety. Each time I had sleeping tablets with me, this time I have sleeping tablets with me, however just less than usual.

My doctor doesn't usually give me diazpeam, but my mother gave me 3, so I plan to take one on the plane in the hope it will give me slight relief, therefore I can focus on just enjoying the plane. I've travelled to many places with zero sleep, getting up at 4 am to go, and survived, yet at the moment, things seem harder to control. Quite simply, normally I worry about going, but I am positive that once I'm there, I will relax. However this time, I am signed off work, struggling worse, and concerned I will not be in a good place the whole holiday. I am panicking over sleep, sometimes it affects me, but been trying not to care, as eventually I will sleep. The holiday destination has everything I love. Supermarkets for any food i want, food every night that is better than what I eat at home, sun, a nice pool I can jump in if I am too warm, nice balcony, and finally, at night time I love walking and seeing different places. I'm not feeling any positive thoughts towards these now, which is making it tough.

Any tips on how to rationalise everything, and how not to react to such worries? I've saved a lot to go, paid a lot to go, and it just sucks that I am not focused positively on the fact, I'll be away home, in a more relaxing setting. I hate where I live, and being off work, I've hated it more.

Hi Gary! If you want to rationalise, I suggest you start a list or a journal. You say you are anxious but you are vague why you are feeling this way. When we are vague, it's hard for us to pinpoint why we are feeling this way. You mentioned that you feel you will love this place and negative thoughts is clouding your mind. I find negative thoughts usually come in the forms of what ifs like what if I get sick or what if the plane gets delayed and my vacation is cut shorter. These what ifs might have causes that you want to tackle so they won't spring up again.

Sometimes, a few distractions can also help because, when anxious, our mind tend to wander. Maybe making a detailed list of things you want to do and things you want to see. Do research on where you're going and, if you have done so, do it a second time. A busy mind can keep the worries away and maybe you'll find things that makes you excited. Imagine having a good time might work as well. If there's a certain place you really look forward to or a certain thing you want to do, imagine how it would work out. Visualize the ideal scenario and write it down. If you get worried, read it over and over until that's all that's in your mind.

As for hating where you live, I guess you might be considering a change of scenery but something is rooting you there. If you aren't happy where you live, moving might be the optimal choice as you need an environment to fend off worries while you figure out what to do next. It's quite difficult making important decisions when we are worried all the time.

These are the best suggestions I can think of and I hope the best with your trip! :)

---------- Post added at 19:52 ---------- Previous post was at 19:51 ----------

-Role Model 4-

Even if we have great role models, we must keep one thing in mind. We are all unique with our own sets of strengths and weaknesses. No two people are the same and we should accept that knowing that our uniqueness could mean greatness. Yet, we risk the same trap we'd face if we were too busy pleasing others or meeting other people's expectations. We mustn't become somebody we're not and regret it later in life as we notice too late that our life was actually empty.

When we strive to be like our role models, we run the risks of trying to be just like them. For a professional athlete, we might want to join the same team and have similar feats. It's true that we have role models to help guide us in the path ahead of us. There's a lot of uncertainty and, for the younger generation, they need some help getting their bearings in a world filled with so many opportunities. In a world where technology is changing so rapidly, it can be tough adapting to a society that is never the same every year.

It's true that we can only truly learn through experience but role models help give us a dream. They are what we want to become eventually, though we should remain unique ourselves. None of our paths can ever be the same. We start in a different environment, encounter different people along the way and can still end up at a similar destination. This is what makes our lives so incredible. We can take so many different paths to reach a similar dream and the path is unique to only us. Yet, this dream can never be possible without us having a role model who has already reached the success we want for ourselves one day.

When we reached our dreams, the path we took changes who we are. We might be a completely different person than that at the start of the journey since experiences and people we encounter will shape us. This is why it's so vital to pick good role models. They don't necessarily make the journey easier but they help us get start earlier. We have so much fear regarding the uncertainty that we doubt ourselves. The role models show what's possible and that's a confirmation we need to do what we originally saw as impossible in ourselves. Even better, some role models show that the impossible can be possible too.

Role models are a start and they might stay us for the rest of our journey. Yet, they aren't the destination we should strive for because they don't know who we are and what we must overcome to reach the dream. We can listen to their story and study what happened in their lives. Yet, none of those events will happen to us and even similar ones might not happen at roughly the same time or order. We still have to travel the rest of the journey on our own strength and no one, not even our role models, can be there to get us through the challenges.

[Rick(amateur)]

-Decisions-

Our lives are made up of the decisions we make. Therefore, decisions involve big things that shape and change our lives. We never say we made a big decision of having Chinese food for lunch today. It's usually relatively big things like going on a diet, overcoming a fear or going to a foreign country to study. These decisions will have large impact over our lives if we go through with them so we cannot take them lightly.

One of the problems we face today is decisions for the younger generation. We see young people like kids and teens who have no control over the direction of their lives. Many of their parents want to make every single decision like what school they should attend, what activities they should do after school and other decisions that will affect their future in a big way.

The main argument of the parents is usually the fact that their children are too young to know. It's true that kids and teens are inexperienced with life as they haven't seen enough. They aren't as well informed and are more prone to making bad decisions. Yet, this, along with other arguments, isn't good enough reason to take away the power to decide from these young people.

First, these young people, when life doesn't go their way, will blame their parents who controlled their lives. They didn't get to make any decisions and they suddenly had excuses as to why they are failing. Excuses help no one but, if decision making was indeed out of their hands, they cannot really take responsibilities in what happened. However, they cannot be excused if they do nothing afterwards to change the situations to something more favorable.

Secondly, decision making is a skill we learn and, through experience, master. We don't know how to do it immediately so, when the decisions are made for us when we were young, we lack this skill. It's essentially like parents who cook for their kids and a day comes when the kids must cook for themselves. As we can all imagine, it will be a huge disaster. Unable to cook won't necessarily have enormous impact. Unable to make key decisions in life is a whole different matter however.

For parents, they must learn that they cannot walk the entire path called life for their kids. Somewhere along the way, they must let their kids walk their own path. It's true some decisions like what school might be harder for them to understand. That's why starting small is always a better alternative. Let the kids decide what they want to do for hobbies. As they gain experience in decision making, they will eventually be ready to make the bigger ones since they learn the steps needed to make up their minds.

[Rick(amateur)]

-Decisions 2-

In our lives, we'll make the good and poor decisions. There's no way of avoiding the poor decisions because the only way for us to improve the skill is through experience. It's true we will stumble along the way but we will become stronger if we learned why we stumbled and don't make the same mistakes a second or third time. Poor decisions, however, can be a double edged sword.

Poor decisions can teach us what not to do the next time. It shows us what doesn't work so we can change our approach the next time and achieve a better result. Yet, it can also paralyze us by clouding our judgement because we felt too much pain or suffering. The negative emotions like sadness, anger and helplessness tend to linger longer than the positive emotions. As a result, we get reminded regularly whenever we make poor decisions, especially those with large impact on our lives.

I like to use the example of marriage. Let's say I met a woman who I thought was perfect. I saw this person as my other half and she believed the same. We got married a month later and, a year later, we had our first children. Then, things went downhill as we got into fight regularly since we possess flaws the other person couldn't tolerate. I might also be struggling financial with the birth of the child so my temper is getting worse. Things got so bad that we got divorced.

Divorce brings a lot of emotions in our lives. I'd likely feel emptiness in losing both a wife and a child who's most likely been given custody to the mother. I'm also financially worse with the divorce. At this point in life, I could easily develop a view where I oppose anymore serious relationships from that point. Whenever I had decisions regarding relationship, I'll also decide on the option opposing it regardless if it's good or not. This might see me truly miss out on the woman who I needed in my life.

The negative emotions and pain can cloud our judgement. It's true we must learn from our past but, when making serious decisions, we must give all the options a fair overview. Whenever we jump to a certain conclusion without thought, we are hurting ourselves by denying things and people that could change our live positively in a big way. Poor decisions should make us wiser, not more impulsive on certain matters.

[Rick(amateur)]

-Decisions 3-

In the last entry, I talked about how negative emotions and pain can cloud our judgement. To avoid these happening again, we choose to run away. If we ever have to make a decision similar to the one that brought us suffering, we choose to avoid it altogether. After all, no one likes getting hurt and it's seen from a simple example of us staying away from a hot stove after getting burned once.

Still, we must learn from our past experiences and the poor decisions usually teach us the best life lessons we need to get ahead. We should be learning these lessons so, next time we take a similar route, we know what to avoid. When we avoid these opportunities altogether, we might regret later on when we learned someone else found success taking a path we wanted but was too afraid to tread.

Let's use the example I used last entry where I met this perfect woman and got married after a month. For this scenario, a month is way too short. We didn't know each other well enough and marriage is a long-term commitment, something the two of us failed to realize until a kid was given birth and cracks showed in the marriage. I was quite likely to be worse off financially which might see me oppose relationships altogether.

I shouldn't let this experience stop me from starting a family that will remain intact for decades. I probably would have realized that one month of dating is too soon. A few years would be a better alternative as we learn more about each other. We have strengths and weaknesses and it's usually the weaknesses we must tolerate to keep the divorce at bay. By learning this important lesson, my odds of another failed marriage would drop drastically, though there's still risk as life is still unpredictable.

This is the case for everything in life. We must dig deeper than the surface to uncover what went wrong. A failed business might have us look at our cash flow and business plan. Failing a course might have us look at our routines, habits and our attitude towards learning. When we can dig deeper and find out the real reasons as to why the unfavorable outcome happened, we become better suited to tackle future challenges. That's how we learn in life and how we can strive to reach the stars!

[Rick(amateur)]

-Decisions 4-

This entry, I want to discuss about making our own decisions. This might seem a little odd so I want to explain what I meant by this. In our lives, we are either too busy pleasing other people or trying to reach certain expectations placed on us. The expectations can be from those we love like parents or from society as whole. What's happening is essentially us shaping our decisions to match these outside influences.

I myself had this situation happened to me when I decided to go to university. My parents had wanted me to go to university since I was very young. They never even considered alternatives like colleges or trade school so, for them, university was the only option. Trying my best to meet their expectations, I made the decision thinking that I was in control and this was what I truly wanted.

For my life before that decision, I was very much not in control of my life. My decisions were heavily influenced by my parents and, while it seems like I had choices in life, I was limited to the few my parents decided for me. Considering that their advice haven't really cost me much other than a few minor setbacks, I kept going expecting things to continue being alright.

A few years into university, I found failure and major setbacks. Anxiety and a bit of depression was setting in which had me started wondering what went wrong. Like everyone else, I looked back into my past to search for my answers. In my search, I discovered that many of the decisions were too heavily influenced by my parents. I hardly listened to what I wanted and felt that my parents had led me down this wrong path.

I could've blamed my parents and I did for a short while. Yet, I learned that this was a learning experience for me. From this point onward, I'll make my own decisions and limit the influence of other people and society as a whole. We are in such a need of conform to the standards of society that we neglect to ask us what we truly desire. We are willing to kill our dreams as long as we fit into society, not knowing that the death of our dreams will only send us down a path of endless pain and suffering.

For those still living with parents, I recommend thinking for yourself what you want. I mean asking yourself questions without wondering about the thoughts or advice of other people in your family. We need to come up with a choice that is solely our own. Then, we compare it with what is given to us due to outside influence. Then, it becomes your decision whether or not to follow your own heart and go with what others expect of you. With this approach, you at least have no one to blame if you stray down the wrong path. Then, you can take responsibility later in life and know how to learn from your mistakes.

[Rick(amateur)]

-Decisions 5-

For this entry, I want to discuss about myself. Not just my thoughts but a bit about the decisions I have made and will make that will have enormous impact on my future. I, like everyone else, have made poor decisions in the past. I regretted those at one point but, currently, I'm grateful of making those decisions. You might think I'm a little crazy to think that way but I'll explain what I mean.

The poor decision that has been very much on my mind is going to university. For many people, this is a no brainer since higher education should open up more doors. Yet, we must remember some important things about education. There are currently a lot of students going to school, whether university or college, and the job opportunities out there is limited.

We are living in a society where there's a lot of competition for job, especially the better jobs. With so much competition, companies will only hire the best candidates they have and, for those fresh from university, grades are the primary comparison. I didn't have the best grades so, when I searched for internship, I was among the few who was out of luck.

With grades dropping steadily and no internment could be found, I was doubting my decision to go to university. I have reason to do so since I learned now that school can only teach certain subjects. Not everyone can thrive in a classroom setting and I'm one of those who stood a better chance with other decisions. Interestingly, these doubts have opened up doors I originally thought a piece of paper from graduating will.

I discovered things I am strong at aren't taught at school, at least not in the university I'm going. This puts me at a rather awkward situation. I have invested a lot into school with plenty of school debt and am somewhat close to finishing. Yet, I no longer have the same desire as I no longer see the piece of paper as my key to unlocking a bright future. I spent a lot of time thinking over my decisions because, this time, I want to pick one that I want.

At a position where the future has much to be desired, it might seem easier to abandon and start anew. That sounds nice but I do want to finish school. I have abandon too many things in the past so I'm worried that, if I do it again, I'll get into a bad habit. As I attend school, I will be pursuing the dream of fighting against mental illness stigma and other things that seem too big to tackle. I know I have big dreams but someone has to make them possible.

This decision hasn't come easy. I never liked school and going back hasn't been especially fun. I just have to tolerate it so I can give it a proper finish. Meanwhile, I can use this to learn time management. School doesn't teach you the best way to manage time until you also have a dream to pursue. I think the lack of dreams had been why I felt so lost and the days at school felt nothing more than torture without an end in sight. At least now, I have something to look forward to each day.

[Rick(amateur)]

-Knowledge-

We all know the saying about knowledge is power. This is quite true if we understand what knowledge is. By definition, knowledge is information and ideas gained through experience and education. In a world where information is plenty online, we can easily be swamped by too much and not get any benefits, especially in the situation of information overload which seems to occur much more often now.

In the past, people read books to get information. That was mostly the case when I was a kid as internet was still a fledgling. I loved going to the library because there were so many picture books. As internet matured into what it is today, we acquire information differently. Notice that I used the term information, not knowledge, here.

With our ways of acquiring information changed, it's only natural that our ways of gaining knowledge also changed. Someone who has watched a bunch of videos regarding a certain topic might be better informed but they aren't necessarily more knowledgeable on the topic. Unless this person applies the information repetitively in the real world, he or she really only gained more facts to share during conversations.

I see knowledge as information we can make use of to get ourselves further ahead. We all know that we start from not knowing something and only through practice can we master something. Let's use riding a bike as an example. We might have read about bikes and seen others ride it when we are kids. We got the information but that information doesn't translate to us actually knowing to how to do it.

Instead, we must get on ourselves and try on our own. We learn by keep going and not let a few bruises and scratches stop us. For those of you who can ride a bike, can you imagine yourself learning by reading a manual on how to ride a bike? It seems crazy but that's apparently how we're expected to learn at school which is something I'll discuss in one of the later entries.

Some people nowadays confuse information with knowledge. They assume that, by knowing more, they are more knowledgeable. Yet, they are fooling themselves as much of the information they have won't get them ahead in life. Those information won't help them overcome their biggest challenges like anxiety or depression. Information alone won't get us through the darkest nights so we can reach that future we always envisioned!

[Rick(amateur)]

-Knowledge 2-

Do we gain knowledge from school? I used to say yes without hesitation. Now, I wonder about that and will answer yes and no. Schools can fill us with knowledge but this depends on a lot of things. In our society, we often discuss how well a person does depends largely on the student. A hard working student will often get further ahead than those who slack off.

When we are students, I like to see ourselves as sponges. We can only absorb so much before we cannot take anymore in. If we are filled with largely useless facts and information, we lack the space for the knowledge we need in life. It's true a hard working student can do well at school but this doesn't always translate to doing well in life. Life is never linear like school and has a lot more surprises along the way.

There are lots of facts taught at school which we don't necessarily need for the future. It's true some of these classes are meant to prepare us for college or university but, even then, some might just be a waste of time. I, as a student in engineering, didn't need biology or Shakespeare. However, I, like so many others, have to go through the classes forcing us to make room for "useless" information. This not only wastes our time but it can develop this negative attitude towards learning.

Real knowledge stays with us because we know it's going to be useful. We'll be using it over and over until it becomes part of us. When you look at most students at school, they wait until a few days before an exam before they start studying. They might do well but, after a few weeks, they'll forget everything. What was the point of the classes if they aren't going to recall anything?

A school should promote students to learn on their own. There were courses I loved because I enjoyed them so much. I wanted to learn more and, with all the resources with online sources and videos, I can gain so much more than what school offers. The information we seek out based on our interests will become knowledge while those we are forced to uncover will be gone once we can afford to do so.

[Rick(amateur)]

-Knowledge 3-

Most of our knowledge will come from our own experiences. For most people, they learn much better from doing something than reading about something. Think about the concept of riding a bike. Will you learn it faster by trying after falling a number of times or will you learn faster by reading a book? Yet, people are hurting themselves by limiting how much knowledge they can gain in life.

We can only learn from experience of things we actually try. When dreams are abandoned, people forever deny themselves the knowledge if they can make that dream come true. By trapping ourselves in our comfort zone, our skill sets grow very limited. A limited skill set and limited knowledge sees us poorly prepared for the challenges life no doubt throws our way.

We all know knowledge is powerful and yet we still stop pursuing it. Why? Fear is the first thing that comes to mind. Fear of leaving the comfort zone halts our progress to make ourselves better. After all, we lost more than the knowledge of the world we live in. We also stop ourselves from better understanding the person we are and what we're capable of.

If we ask people if they know themselves, they naturally would answer yes. They would think this is a stupid question. I don't think it's stupid at all. If we ask these people a few very specific questions, we'll see them pause to think. Too often, we are fooling ourselves with this image we want of ourselves. This image is what society promotes so we want to fit into the mold. This mold has nothing to do with who we are.

A lot of people say that, if we know enough of the world, we'd have answers to all our questions. The truth is we just need to know who we are. I believe we each possess incredible amounts of knowledge within us but these are locked behind safe doors that can only be opened with specific keys. It's true that the keys can only be made if we've seen more of the world but the answers we seek has been inside us all along.

[Rick(amateur)]

-Knowledge 4-

When I first started discussing knowledge, I agree with it being power. Why? Knowledge is an incredible resource that can get us so far ahead. When we see many people who are unhappy with their lives or struggle with challenges, we have to wonder why that's the case. I believe they simply lost sight on this incredible resource that can be the difference maker between a great life and a mediocre one.

Nowadays, people are so easily blinded by the need for material things. It's easy to be caught up when we have the entertainment industry and so many other aspects of society promoting the idea that money equals happiness. I've even heard an advertisement where someone claims that one can buy happiness if they knew where to shop. Such a notion is so silly but, sadly, many people actually believe that.

The problem with material things is that they come and go. Money can exchange hands very easily, especially with credit cards nowadays where money seem to vanish very quickly as soon as we start paying bills. A large portion of Canadians have enormous credit card debts among with other things so they basically spend much of their lives being slaves to those debts.

Knowledge is different in that we cannot exchange it. We can have debates and make videos but none of these guarantee a person will acquire the knowledge. Remember that a person might be great with facts but understanding the facts to the point one can apply it to his or her life is completely different. Too many people, with the false impression their information equals knowledge, think they're ready to tackle the material things in life.

Until people surround themselves with valuable knowledge, they are doomed to fail or, in the best case scenario, achieve mediocrity. Our society is a cruel place and there's a reason why only a small portion become the very wealthy and an equally small portion are truly happy and fulfilled with their lives. Note that not all the very wealthy are necessarily in the second group. Like I said before, money won't bring happiness and that can be seen over and over in life.

One of the biggest examples is lotteries. There are people who win lotteries but their lives didn't change. It didn't take long for them to return to their lives before winning assuming it didn't get worse. These people might have gotten a ton of money but they don't have the knowledge to make effective use of this money. That's why we cannot neglect knowledge as money without knowledge will disappear as quickly as it appears.

[Rick(amateur)]

-Knowledge 5-

During our darkest days, knowledge might be the only thing we have left. We might lose all our money, our homes and maybe even our family members. Life can be cruel at times so there's no need to sugarcoat it at all. It's only during these cruelest moments of our life that we learn what's truly valuable and what we should treasure for the rest of our lives.

We all heard stories of someone losing some dear and regretting afterwards only to find out it's too late. That's the truth about knowledge. We can gain knowledge when we are relatively comfortable. For most people, they won't choose a book over a meal when they are starving and are homeless. We don't expect them to pursue knowledge, at least not through a book, when they are in a state where they have enough problems in their lives.

Yet, most of us are fortunate enough to not have those issues. We or our family has some sort of income and we can afford things like phones, laptops and books. When we ask most of these people if they buy books or read E-books online, the general answer is either no or very rarely. If we don't take advantage of our luxurious environment to gain knowledge, then we will soon learn the hard way how the lack of knowledge will hurt us.

It's true that tragedies won't happen to all of us but hardships will arrive, often in forms we least expect them too. The economy might fail and the housing bubble burst. A family member might have gotten into severe debt due to dealing with loan sharks. Some terrible illness suddenly struck a loved one and much of one's savings must be spent at the hospital. All of these can have drastic impact on people as they can change people's lives permanently.

In the scenario where a person loses everyone, everything and become homeless. What happens if this person acquired knowledge before this unfortunate development? No one can take away knowledge so, naturally, this person got to keep all of it. The knowledge might take time to be utilized but it will get the person back on his or her feet because he or she have all the tools to get further ahead and only needed more time and hard work to get there.

Being poor is never a crime and many of those who got out of poverty did so through knowledge. They have seen things and experienced things that taught them how the world works. They don't necessarily need to graduate from higher education. Some might have never even finished high school. Yet, they learned what to absorb so they can use it later in life. It's only through knowledge can we get further ahead in life and no knowledge can be gained without sacrifices made along the way.

[Rick(amateur)]

-Knowledge 6-

One of the biggest mistakes people seem to make is stop pursuing knowledge after a certain age. They believe that they can only pursue knowledge at school and when they're young. Once they reached a certain age, they have gained enough to get through rest of their lives. This is often why many people suddenly find themselves struggling to retire as the ever changing world catches them unaware.

The world can change very rapidly and we have seen this over the last two decades. Amazing progress have been made in all technological advances and, with the improvements of computers and AI, we can only expect the progress forward to speed up more. For people to adapt and thrive in this sort of environment, one must ensure they are up to date and prepare to make changes wherever necessary.

The job markets have changed, especially with automation becoming a norm for certain jobs. This only makes knowledge all the more powerful because manual labor can be done by robots while jobs requiring thoughts and problem solving are still done by humans. In addition, people are needed to repair and maintain robots, tasks we cannot expect someone to know without learning.

While it's true that people learn slower as they age, that doesn't mean they cannot learn at all. It might take longer but it's never a bad idea to be better adapted. Books are probably the best way for the slightly older generations as these are best associated with how they learned before. E-books also make it much easier to acquire information without the need to find and purchase multiple books.

Regardless of what age we are or what situation we are in, knowledge can be exceptionally helpful in getting us to a certain scenario in life. We must never stop pursuing as being ignorant only hinders our progress. Knowledge, of course, isn't information alone but something we can make use of very easily to apply to the respective application. With our technological advances, knowledge only has a greater role to play in our pursuit of success, happiness and fulfillment.

[Rick(amateur)]

-Passion-

We've all heard that we should be passionate about what we do, particularly in something we do for a living. If we can turn something we live, is it still considered work? The answer is yes and no. The start, like everything in life, is the difficult part. Our dreams don't happen overnight so, naturally, a job that incorporates what we love doesn't either.

When we pursue a "safe" path, we are running the risk of going something we don't love. We might force ourselves to enjoy it but it really shows in our career once we've been doing something for a decade or two decades. I simply cannot imagine someone investing that much time doing something they hate when I cannot even handle a year of a job I dislike greatly.

We mustn't forget that, to rise up in ranks for a career we don't enjoy, we have to invest a lot of time, work and money. Most of these careers require a degree of some sort which sees the person stuck in school for at least two years after graduating from high school. If the time at school wasn't enjoyable, it's a good indication of how the person will feel later in life doing the same thing for a living.

Let's not forget that, after getting the degree, there's no guarantee this person will be working in this field. There's too many variables in the equations to be gambling how one's future might end up. If a person is willing to take a chance with education and a field they may or may not like, then he or she should definitely consider something he or she is passionate about so the odds of success is higher.

Why are the odds of success higher? When we plan what we want to do, we look into the future at the possible scenarios we might face. In a scenario where we do what we love and enjoy every minute of it, we'd have a lot more drive and push a little harder. Drive alone won't get us there but every little push helps move us closer and a slight edge might be a difference between a dream reached and a dream given up forever.

[Rick(amateur)]

-Passion 2-

Passion can be a powerful driving force to get us to our dreams. Yet, it's easy for us to confuse certain emotions with passion. I'm sure many people reading this had moments in their lives where they saw something on television or internet that got their interest. They suddenly got this urge to do it because they believe they have found their passion and dream.

What ends up happening is the person loses interest after awhile and nothing gets done. However, the impact of this experience sees this person less certain about passion. He or she might start doubting passion being the key to success. The truth lies in the fact that they weren't passionate about this thing. Passion doesn't happen overnight or in a split moment. It's something that's cultivated over time.

How do we discover our passion then? We first must discover who we are. Too many of us don't know who we truly are and what we truly want. We say things to impress others or meet other people's expectations. We are living this illusion which we believe is ourselves. Naturally, whatever passion the person we're acting as doesn't suit us and we often learn later on since our heart never lies about what it enjoys and what it hates.

Regardless of what masks we put on, there are things we thoroughly enjoy. There are certain hobbies we have because we love doing it. When someone asks us why we love it, we have no way of explaining it. I think that true passion cannot be described by words. There's a feeling within us that's as strong as instinct so we cannot simply ignore it. If we suppress this feeling, we'd always have this voice calling for us and it only gets louder the older we get.

When I say that I believe people should follow their passion, I meant true passion. Sudden urges aren't passions because they go as quickly as they came. Passion is cultivated over years or decades because a certain thing attracts us in ways nothing else can compare. Yet, we must still remember that even the best cultivated passion cannot grow into anything with hard work and perseverance.

[Rick(amateur)]

-Passion 3-

Passion is so powerful because it's not something everybody can acquire. In our society, we have a pretty big emphasis on making money so, generally, people are pursuing money. Oftentimes, they sacrifice their hopes and dreams to accomplish this. There are many people who lie to themselves as they try to convince themselves and others that what they're doing was what they wanted all along.

For those who follow their true passion, they don't need to deceive themselves everyday. They don't need to do pep talks with themselves each morning before work. They look forward to whatever work they're doing and vacation is something that's never on their mind. Those who followed their true passion don't need an alarm clock to get up because they are eager to start each day early doing what they love.

It's also true that their true passion doesn't come easily. It becomes a reality through hard work and hardships. Luckily, people in the western world are quite fortunate in where they live. Their daily lives pale in comparison with those who live in a third world country or in a nation engulfed in a war. I personally think that no one in first world countries have any excuses explaining why they cannot pursue their true passions.

I was ungrateful once. I didn't know how fortunate I was with the life I was living where I had access to electricity, internet, food and shelter. I didn't have to worry about my next meal and there are job opportunities that can keep me from starving. I also have parents who can provide me to a certain extent. What excuses can I come up with compared to those in a war torn country?

[Rick(amateur)]

-Pets-

Pets can be a great addition to our lives as long we care for them. They are a companion we sometimes need when other people cannot be there for us. While other human beings might not be as understanding or can be plain mean, our pets will always be there for us through the highs and lows because their loyalty is an incredible thing in our modern society.

When we are in a bad mood, we can often talk to our pets. While this might not result in much since they cannot respond and give us their opinions, we shouldn't underestimate how much venting can do to alleviate the pressure building within us. It certainly doesn't hurt that pets are normally more patient than humans so they could actually stay and listen for our entire rant.

Dogs, being one of the most common pets, have an added bonus of walking their owners. Normally, we'd think up of excuses as to why we shouldn't exercise like we're too tired or we'd wait for better weather. With dogs, we don't have a choice in the matter and that helps us get more exercise than what we'd otherwise get. Therefore, a healthy dog also results in a healthier owner.

Another bonus with getting a pet is the reduced chance of a child getting bad allergies. It's another one of those situations where early exposure makes a child better adapted to those things like giving kids peanut butter early on to stop them from forming allergy. The fact that pets bring in a lot of things like dirt and pollen means children get immunity to quite a few things in the outdoors.

[Rick(amateur)]

-Pets 2-

Having an animal also means a lot of responsibilities and many people tend to forget that. Pets are more than just animals we having living at our homes. They're a family member who we should take good care of and deserve kindness and respect like any other human being. Before anyone gets a pet, they should recognize that they are potentially adding another family member.

For those suffering from mental illnesses, a pet can be a difficult dilemma. While it's true that pets can have incredibly positive impact on the recovering of illnesses, they also deserve a home where they can be loved and cared for. Those dealing with difficult issues often struggle to take good care of themselves so, if they decide to get a pet, they are basically making a commitment or it would be very unfair for their pet.

Of course, responsibilities that come with pets aren't all bad. For young kids, a pet in the family can teach them valuable lessons about life like having a set schedule for walks and feed the pets. With schools teaching very limited life lessons, pets can do a tremendous amount in helping children grow and mature into strong, responsible adults.

As mentioned in the last entry, the loyalty of certain pets is incredible. We can experience the worse stumble in life and find ourselves homeless but our pet will remain by our side through the highs and lows. Even if we have no one else to count on, we know our pet won't abandon us because, to them, we are the only family they need and families should always stick together.

[Rick(amateur)]

-Money-

Today, we live in a world that has great emphasis on money. Those without money find themselves struggling in life as they cannot afford even the most basic things like food, clean water and shelter. Even in a supposedly wealthy west, we see problems in the two extremes of the spectrum. There are those who have little or nothing and then there are those with too much.

Those who are buried in debt find themselves unable to escape the downward spiral. They struggle to pay their monthly amount which only sees them accumulate more debt. With the growing debt, they are also stuck at their jobs because they need money to keep the debt collectors at bay. As a result, they never have a chance to escape the situation and become slave to their debt forever.

There's nothing more damaging to one's mental health than a sense of hopelessness. The feeling of no escape can put tremendous stress on one's body and mind. It certainly doesn't help if the person hates his or her job. To put the nail in the coffin, any attempts to seek help for these mental issues are often met with the stigma that shames those who dare to make their problems public.

The answer to this problem can be difficult since everyone's situation is different. Those with families have a tougher time breaking out of the cycle since unemployment affects more than them. Even for those who are single, it's easy to be caught up in a negative mindset where they see no positives about life whatsoever. Even if it's light out, they only see the darkness that never seem to leave their side.

[Rick(amateur)]

-Money 2-

Yet, people wonder why having too much money is a bad thing. It's true that money can make our life easier. For instance, we might not like to cook for a specific day so we can eat out. If something broke, we don't have to worry too much about repairs or replacing the item altogether. Life is easier when we don't have to worry as much about our budget when it comes to making decisions.

The issue lies in some people wanting too much money. They want to afford yachts, mansions and others items that symbolize success in our society. If we ask these people why they want these items, they don't have a good reason other than rich people have them. There are two major problems regarding what these people want that can be easily overlooked.

First, we have to wonder how we can make that much money. For people who don't have millionaire or billionaire parents, their journey to become the 1% isn't as simple as one might think. There are sacrifices along the way. There are those who have to work at least 10 times harder and smarter than everybody else and then there are those who break the laws or do unethical things to get to that state.

Secondly, these people have never thought about what happens after they get a yacht or whatever they wanted. Do they get a bigger yacht so they can show off to their friends? When will they be satisfied with what they got? Or are they always pursuing something that's bigger and better? Are these people really in a better situations than those who are slaves to their debts?

[Rick(amateur)]

-Money 3-

In our society, it's so easy to get caught up with how much money we have. In conversations, a person's success is often dictated by their salary. The larger the number, the more "successful" this person appeared. I'm sure I'm not alone when I was compared by my parents with other people my age. Maybe other people have graduated and started working at a good paying job. Maybe they are close to graduating and already secured a position at well known companies.

The comparison doesn't end here either. As we settle down and have a family, we begin comparing ourselves with other people around us. What sort of thoughts go through our head when we saw our neighbor driving a more expensive vehicle? How do we feel when we see our neighbors affording fancy things while we can barely pay for our monthly expenses?

We humans have a natural tendency to compare ourselves with others. We have this competitive nature where we want to be superior because, in the past when the environment for humans are far more harsh and less forgiving, it's those at the top who survive. Despite the advances we made in society, we still have a part of our brain that tries to convince us that we must stand at the very top and that top is now associated with a lot of money.

Competitiveness isn't always a bad thing. It can be a catalyst to change because we are tired of being who we were. Yet, a change in the wrong direction would have terrible outcomes so we must make sure we know where we should be headed. Do we really need a more expensive car? Do we really need all those fancy gadgets to show off to our neighbors? Is one's significance only weighed by how much money that person is worth?

[Rick(amateur)]

-Money 4-

The difficulty with life is finding a balance regarding money. Having too little and we struggle to afford the most basic things we need in life. This can come especially hard when we have people who depend on us. We feel shame and guilt when we cannot provide for those people when, in our society, we are expected to give them what was seen as the most basic of needs for a human being.

When we have too much money, we find ourselves in a situation where most of us cannot go back in our lifestyle. After living in a house, we'd never be satisfied renting someone's basement. After driving a brand name car, we cannot tolerate a second hand car that might have problems we must deal with every single commute. Most of us cannot handle a situation that seems inferior to what we got a taste of.

Both situations see us trapped in a cycle we don't want to be part of. That's why we must do what we can to find a balance. Otherwise, we'd be trapped and feel miserable. How do we find that balance? It's different for all of us since we start at a different place in life. Despite starting at different places, we all yearn for the same things in life because we're humans and some things are absolutely necessary for us.

The most obvious first step is definitely related to a person's job. We work to earn the money for expenses and that's generally how we make a living. Our choice of this job can have enormous impact on our future but we tend to very lax as to what we pick. Then, we pay the price later down the road because, while our financial situation is acceptable, we found ourselves lacking something which money couldn't buy for us.

[Rick(amateur)]

-Technology-

Technology has changed our lives in dramatic ways and the rate at which it's changing is also unprecedented. As a result, we find ourselves unable to adapt smoothly to what our world is becoming as it's clear that many things in society simply cannot keep pace with the breakthroughs we make in numerous fields that take advantage of computers and the internet.

Our inability to transition smoothly is generally seen with the generations that grew up with most of the new technology. The introduction of smart phones and various social media are only made possible by the progress we made in the last few decades. Yet, our youths of today aren't prepared to transition into adulthood when their childhood is vastly different from that of their parents.

When I was attending high school, phones were still relatively primitive compared to what we have today. We still needed to talk to other people to communicate plans or ideas. Computers and emails were widely used but laptops were still harder to carry around than the smart phones we easily fit in our pockets today. It was a very different world back then.

Nowadays, you only need to be on a bus to see how much the world changed. Most people on the bus are either on their phones or listening to music through their phones. Smart phones have played such a vital role in our society that some youths today couldn't even imagine a world without such a device. With technological advances continuing without any signs of stopping, we should expect more changes in the coming years.

[Rick(amateur)]

-Technology 2-

Technology has changed how we communicate with one another. Instead of needing to talk face to face or through a phone, we can simply text our friends. Texting is so easy to use and it seems more efficient if we have small matters to discuss. Once we get use to texting, we will struggle to live a life without it. That's probably why youths today complain that they cannot live without their phones.

While texting is easier to use a lot of the times, it also gives people a way out from talking to others. Why would we choose to talk face to face regarding some serious topic like a breakup if a simple text is all we need? The issue with this is that a text, however honest it might be, doesn't have the same impact as a person saying something in person. Are we running away from confrontations we don't see favorable then?

Technology has played a critical role in how we communicate. Our youths are so integrated to using social media and phones that their communication skills with other people is hindered when they must do so face to face. Chances are the first few interviews they have will be in person with supervisors and managers but nothing is preparing them for those sort of interactions.

When interacting with a person when we are present, we not only have to pay attention to what we and the other person say but there are also body language and a different environment from what we are used to. Social media allows us to avoid seeing the other person while we can be in a place we are comfortable with like our own room. Given how different society functions from the world portrayed by social media, it's no wonder many of our youths find themselves lacking the skills to properly socialize with others.

[Rick(amateur)]

-Technology 3-

Technology always changed the opportunities available to us and nowadays it mostly affect our younger generation. When I was a kid, places like fast food restaurants were mostly hiring youths and young adults. The minimum wage jobs were usually seen as the stepping stones for the younger generation to gain valuable experience while also making some money on to side.

Nowadays, our world is changing so rapidly that automation is taking over a fair number of jobs. These jobs were normally taken by the younger generation but, as automation slowly become more widespread, such opportunities are becoming fewer and fewer. Suddenly, those who need experience the most to get further in life find themselves struggling to get the ball rolling with the first job.

We have all encountered the situation where workplaces hire people with experience but people need to work so they gain the experience. Some people might suggest going to college or university but student loans become such a huge issue and the opportunities that normally help students pay off loans are taken over by automation.

It's becoming clear that technology is changing the direction of where society is heading. Manual jobs or jobs that don't require any additional education than what you gain from high school are steadily disappearing. Our youths and young adults are facing unprecedented challenges regarding their future and the ever changing technology won't make their adaptability any easier.

[GaryP]

I don't want to start a new thread, but does anyone have any advice they can offer?

I am going back to work tomorrow after 2 weeks off and I'm really nervous. I have been sleeping all afternoon while off and I expect not to sleep great because of that. I just feel full of panic because I have to go back, and worried about A) being late B) being extremely tired & C) feeling overwhelmed by it all.
i was signed off for three months from July to October, and did a phased return. I am still hoping to take one annual leave day a week, for a few weeks to help keep me settled. Do you think this is a good idea or a bad idea?

My bosses boss is a complete fool, and I met him for the first time before the Christmas break and he made comment on me being 2 or 3 minutes late, and I wanted to laugh at him. This is making me slightly nervous about being at work because of idiots like such. I stay 5 minutes late some days and no one mentions that, and here I am trying to justify it, rather than just letting it go.

Any advice would be helpful, in order to just feel a bit more in control.

[up a ladder]

Gary. I can see why you are anxious. The fact you have slept will help slightly if you have a bad night. If like me you suffer from anticipatory anxiety, the thought of the event is nearly always, always worse than the event itself.
I am not sure about the 1 day off a week as only you will know if that works for you, I dont think it is a bad idea, but for me it would make life difficult where I could not look after the kids in school holidays.
Also remember although in your mind it is a huge factor that you are returning to work, but for others working there it is probably a less meaningfull event and it is unlkely that you will be scrutanised by others. Sorry, just re read the thread. I assumed it was the first day back after a period of sick leave.
I have really struggled this year after Christmas and am having difficulty getting back into it all. Even less likely you will be prime focus, so I doubt you will feel as self concious as you are now.
Let us know how you get on.
Keep well

[Rick(amateur)]

I don't want to start a new thread, but does anyone have any advice they can offer?

I am going back to work tomorrow after 2 weeks off and I'm really nervous. I have been sleeping all afternoon while off and I expect not to sleep great because of that. I just feel full of panic because I have to go back, and worried about A) being late B) being extremely tired & C) feeling overwhelmed by it all.
i was signed off for three months from July to October, and did a phased return. I am still hoping to take one annual leave day a week, for a few weeks to help keep me settled. Do you think this is a good idea or a bad idea?

My bosses boss is a complete fool, and I met him for the first time before the Christmas break and he made comment on me being 2 or 3 minutes late, and I wanted to laugh at him. This is making me slightly nervous about being at work because of idiots like such. I stay 5 minutes late some days and no one mentions that, and here I am trying to justify it, rather than just letting it go.

Any advice would be helpful, in order to just feel a bit more in control.

I hope you're doing alright! I'm not as active here as I used to. I can be tough to deal with these situations and it's usually best just taking it a day at a time. It much more manageable and easier to plan out.

---------- Post added at 21:38 ---------- Previous post was at 21:37 ----------

-Addiction-

When we hear the word addiction, there are a number of different scenarios that might cross our mind. One of the most obvious one seems to be a homeless person who lost everything due to his or her drug habits. Another scenario might be a person who goes to the casino often and lost most, if not all, of his or her savings believing he or she will win it all back one day. Of course, there are other addictions involving shoplifting, alcohol and numerous other things that can get us hooked.

Addiction isn't always easy to overcome and usually end poorly for the victims and their families. If an addiction gets worse enough, even society as a whole doesn't want to deal with the victim. Yet, we mustn't forget that, oftentimes, the victims were once ordinary people no different from any of us. They just made a poor judgement one day, got hooked and couldn't ever look back. For some of them, addiction was supposed to serve as an escape for the bad things happening in their life.

To make it worse, we often have what we normally perceive as good things that can also make us addicted. For instance, some pain killers and cold medicines contain components that are very addictive. We might be taking these for a good reason initially but we eventually grow reliant on them. It seems like danger is everywhere and we only need a few missteps and we can fall into the trap without an exit in sight. Meanwhile, our society promotes a certain addiction but it isn't even perceived as one by most people.

In our society, we are bombarded by ads telling us what we should buy and how we should live our lives. These ads are pushing us towards an addictive activity called shopping. It's true that a few people do go over the top when it comes to shopping but majority of the people in Canada and the USA are caught up in buying expensive things they don't need. This is getting so bad that most households accumulate debts they might never pay off. Instead of being seen as an addiction, we call it a norm nowadays.

[Rick(amateur)]

-Addiction 2-

Oftentimes, the things we are addicted to happen to be bad for us since we do such things in excess. Drugs and gambling can both be harmless if we just tried it once and say it's not for us. However, addiction makes us revisit them and, to satisfying the addiction, we do everything in our power to get a taste of it. The issue with addiction is that we need a larger exposure each time to get the same amount of satisfaction.

When I was growing up, computer games were just starting to get very popular. There were larger varieties of games and machines were getting stronger making newer and better games accessible. In a way, I was addicted to gaming because I enjoyed staying in front of the computer for numerous hours with no intention of getting off unless my parents told me so.

Now that I look back, I could see why I was addicted to games. This might not be the case for others but I liked escaping reality. I was a loner then and had very little to occupy my time. I haven't developed any hobbies and, overall, I was a shy person living a pretty recluse lifestyle. I did go to school but there was nothing waiting for me after school except for some activities my parents signed me up to.

Compared to my real life, games seemed like a portal to incredible new worlds. There was so much to explore and I found myself being a character I never can be in real life. Do I want to be the hero who saves the world? Do I want to travel to foreign lands or other planets filled with alien lifeforms? These were all made possible by the games I played and they drew me in like nothing else.

[Rick(amateur)]

-Addiction 3-

For me, the addiction to games served as an escape from all the bad things in life. I don't have to worry about my problems because I'm too busy playing as the protagonist in a game. I feel like my actions actually mattered and people actually cared about me. There are just so many benefits of being a hero and that just wouldn't be possible for me in real life.

In life, a lot of things won't go according to plan. We can have big dreams about what we can become but all that can be out of reach in an instant. Maybe we weren't accepted to our dream school. Maybe the person we wanted to date rejected us. Maybe some accident stopped us from reaching a goal we worked so hard for. With the unpredictability, we need something that's more certain in life.

Addictions bring us that sort of certainty since, after a taste of it, we feel good about ourselves. Regardless of what activity we are addicted to, they all share a similar trait where they hijack our reward system. When we feel good, we revisit it to get more of it. The problem lies in that, after each taste, we need a larger exposure to get the same good feeling as the first time we tried it.

A good feeling is incredible when we are faced with numerous challenges and negative emotions. None of us want to be sad or negative all the time and our instincts, knowing that such feelings aren't healthy for us, search for quick and easy ways to address the issue. When we try addictive activities or things, our brains tell us that this is the solution we need to keep our troubles at bay and we believe it.

[Rick(amateur)]

-Addiction 4-

In a way, addiction appears like the easy way out of our problems. It helps distract us from our problems, even temporarily, so we can enjoy life for the brief moments the addiction provides us. We keep returning to the addiction when our life doesn't change and it appears like the only upside in our lives. Soon, we find ourselves in a downward spiral where we seek the addiction to fight problems addiction is causing us.

For most people with addictions, they understand that the addiction is bad for them. However, addiction don't simply go away. We have enough trouble getting rid of the bad habits in our lives and addictions are often several times worse. To make matters worse, addictions create additional problems that make it even more difficult to combat it effectively to eventually overcome it.

For many people dealing with addiction directly, they find themselves walking a lonely road. They are seen as hopeless people best forgotten by everyone including their family members. When these people lose the support of their loved ones, they turn to their addiction to fight the pain of being abandoned. At that point, it's an uphill climb from the bottom of the highest peak and odds are definitely against the person.

There's also a mentality our society supports which makes overcoming addiction even tougher. We don't like admitting that we are failures and addiction is often equated with failure. So many people could've sought out help early on and put an end to their addiction before it gets too serious. However, they don't do so because their image matters far more than their health and future.

[Rick(amateur)]

-Addiction 5-

In our society, I believe we need to provide more support to those with addictions. We must remember that, prior to the addiction, these are ordinary people no different from the rest of us. We shouldn't write them off when they made a terrible mistake in life. After all, we all want to have a second chance when we make a mistake in our lives so we shouldn't deny those with addiction a second chance either.

There are so many people who have negative attitudes those those with addictions. They seem to think that, as soon as a person has addiction, then there's practically no chance of recovery of those people. It's always sad to see people who have great potential but lack the support to overcome one of the hardest battles in life. Addiction is so powerful and most people simply cannot overcome it without any sort of support.

While support from loved ones is best, even support from complete strangers can make a huge difference. We have all been through those long days when we have no hope for the future. Days without hope is such a terrible experience and we won't even wish it on our worst enemies. Yet, most addicts are facing those days every single day because we have given up on them and regard them as nobodies.

We don't necessarily have to invest all our time and effort to support complete strangers who are fighting addiction. We just have to remember that, when we encounter these people, we should show them some respect or even some kindness. These small acts can change lives because we can light up their dark world, no matter how briefly, so they can see the path they must take to get through one of their biggest challenges in life.

[Rick(amateur)]

-Trust-

In our society, we generally don't trust complete strangers. Oftentimes, we have been cheated and lied to so often that we don't know who we can trust. As trust break down, we wonder how dark the future can be as we find ourselves alone. We are unwilling to share our troubles and thoughts with others if we couldn't even trust them to not share with others. In the age of social media, our secrets are even more likely to be shared by everyone.

With our lack of trust in so many people, even relationships become more complicated. Relationships were complicated to begin with since we have two people with different values and viewpoints interact with one another. Meaningful relationships require trust as one of the pillars or misunderstanding and rumors will destroy the relationship before it can even form between two people.

Forming trust with other people is further complicated with our digital age where we interact with people we don't even meet face to face. We might join forums or other online spaces where we meet new people. The fact that we are nothing more than a username on the site results in us more willing to share our secrets with strangers because we believe that it's safer sharing personal situations anonymously.

When I was ashamed of my problems, I tried to reach out to my parents. Sadly, they didn't take me seriously and told me to simply "man up." As a result, I feel far more comfortable sharing my stories and struggles with complete strangers online. While the internet seems to provide me safety from criticism and judgement, I was also distancing myself from people in real life as I cannot trust them with my inner secrets.

[Rick(amateur)]

-Trust 2-

A reason for our lack of trust in others is likely due to what we experience in life. For example, our news reports are largely negative since those sort of news tend to capture our attention. However, these sort of exposure does emphasize the ugly side of humanity so, while society as a whole is more good than evil, we are in a way programmed to think that bad things will happen more often than they normally do.

For example, we might hear a lot of updates on a school shooting. We keep getting these horrific images described to us and many of us noticed that these images don't go away very easily. They usually stick around and serve as fuel for our imagination. Many of us have wild imagination so, with sufficient fuel, we'll start imagining certain scenarios that might happen in our own neighborhood.

The worst case scenario takes place when some sort of crime happens near or in our neighborhood. Suddenly, we look out our windows quite often to get a glimpse of anyone suspicious. When we walk the streets, we'll be even more hesitant to approach strangers and, if we don't like the situation, we might even take flight hoping to be rather safe than sorry.

While the news can provide important information from time to time, we must realize that too much exposure will make us into very negative people. The negativity will deteriorate our trust in strangers who have done nothing wrong other than being simply a stranger. While I don't promote interacting with complete strangers, I think that we shouldn't be too fearful when we are in public all the time.

[Rick(amateur)]

-Trust 3-

One of the biggest reasons why we don't trust others is the fact that someone in our lives betrayed our trust and we cannot convince ourselves that we can trust again. That someone is usually someone we care or love about so, the moment we discovered the person betrayed our trust, we lose faith in everyone else as we cannot even trust those we thought was reliable.

We might have some secrets we entrust with our best friends. We consider these people as our best friends because we believe they are different from everyone else we encounter in life. If we learned about one of our best friends sharing our secrets with others and, as a result, caused us embarrassment at school, we refuse to share with anyone and we bottle everything, whether good or bad, within us.

Since that day, we refuse to open up again. How do we know the next person we meet won't do the same and share our inner secrets with others? How do we know other people aren't worse given the sort of world we see on the news? Because one single person betrayed our trust, we can no longer trust anyone and many people are harmed in the process. The biggest victim in this mess is us.

Without trust, we walk a lonely path with a lot of negativity bottling within us. The pain becomes unbearable but we refuse to believe that there's even a remote chance of someone out there who can help carry the burden for us. Either the demons from within overwhelm us and push us over the edge or we carry on with the pain and suffering until we reach the end of our path. Neither options seems too alluring for anyone.

[Rick(amateur)]

-Trust 4-

There are all sorts of people out there. Some will betray our trust when given the first opportunity. Some will guard our secrets as if it's their own. Somewhere along our journey, we'll encounter someone who betrayed our trust. Since that day, we can no longer trust anyone because we don't want to relive the painful experience of someone backstabbing us where it hurts the most.

As crazy as it may sound, we must learn to forgive. The forgiveness might not be directed at the person who betrayed our trust. It's largely directed at ourselves because we blame ourselves for being so blind and trusting so easily. We should forgive ourselves knowing that everyone make mistakes. We just have to learn from a mistake that likely had enormous impact on our lives.

Only through forgiveness can we move forward in life. Otherwise, we are constantly reminded of a painful past and we cannot stop looking back thinking that someone out there is ready to inflict more pain on us. In a way, we are trying hard to trust in ourselves again. We need to believe in our own judgement on how we view people. If we don't take this important step, we'll never attempt to build any relationships with strangers.

Nobody deserves to be alone but some of us, during our lowest moments, actively wall ourselves off from society. We even keep out our loved ones and friends because we don't know when they will also betray our trust. Once we create an impenetrable wall between us and others, we face a difficult uphill battle as we struggle to tear it down later when a new pain becomes far too unbearable.

[Rick(amateur)]

-Death-

Generally, we avoid the topic of death because it brings out a lot of different emotions. Fear is usually the dominating emotion but sadness is pretty close behind. After all, death is essentially an end to everything we know of and, while we have religions and beliefs that claim an afterlife exists, there is no way for us, at least for the time being, to know whether there's anything after death.

The idea of an end can be terrifying for most of us. We have so many hopes and dreams that can all vanish in an instant. We feel like we're racing against time to get things done before that day comes. After all, we have all heard plenty of stories about people on their deathbed having plenty of regrets but little time left to change their situation into something they see as more ideal.

Then, we have the loss of loved ones and pets. We develop relationships and bonds with other people we want to spend the rest of our lives with but life can be so cruel when people leave too early. When we are young, some of us had to face the reality that our pets cannot live as long as us. We grew so attached but they had to go because they were never meant to last as long as us humans.

Overall, the fear of death and the pain it brings us can be overwhelming even for the strongest people. It doesn't matter what sort profession we're in and what experiences we had throughout our lives. None of us can escape the impact of death and, during our darkest moments, the term can be our main focus as we ponder about our purpose in life.

[Rick(amateur)]

We cannot talk about success without talking about failure. I'm sure many people, like me, don't want to fail in life. Even at school, we were told to not make mistakes and fail. For instance, we have tests where, for each mistake we make, we lost marks. Essentially, we will fail if we make enough mistakes

The issue lies in the fact that life doesn't operate like school. Failures in life can teach us far more than success ever will. If we are too afraid to make mistakes, then we'll never find success. In a way, schools are teaching people incorrectly because it's causing people to fear failure when failure can be the greatest learning experience one can have.

---------- Post added at 08:01 ---------- Previous post was at 08:00 ----------

-Death 2-

For some people, fear of death isn't really the fear of the end to life. It's really a fear of not being able to do everything one wants before one lies on the deathbed and look back with many regrets. We all have a finite time on this world so the time we waste isn't coming back. There are so many things to experience and one can only do so much before time's up.

In a way, more people are afraid of regrets than death because there's nothing we can do about regrets. We have all heard and maybe even experienced moments where someone defied the odds and cheated death. However, regrets are usually tied to our past so, once we miss an opportunity, we won't be getting it back and we feel powerless in these situations.

Just as we don't want to have regrets following us everywhere we go, there are many things we want to achieve before we reach the end of our journey. Since we were little kids, we have already started dreaming about all the things we want to do when we grow up. Later, we, despite becoming an adult, still have similar hopes and dreams that seem to give our life purpose and meaning.

We make mistakes in life like wasting time and procrastinating. The precious time we don't invest in our hopes and dreams soon become apparent. As the prospect of achieving our dreams become dimmer by the day, we start to realize that we are running out of time. Decades have passed and we haven't accomplished anything. It's during this moment that we want to extend our life to do the things we should've done.

[Rick(amateur)]

-Death 3-

Death can be a wake-up call for a lot of people, especially those who are young. When we have youth, we believe that we have all the time in the world. We simply cannot imagine us growing old into a senior who struggle to do even the most basic things in life. Youth gives us a sense of invincibility until we get a taste of reality through experiences that are too close for comfort.

When we lose someone close, we feel a part of us is gone forever. If the person happened to be around our age, we realize that our sense of invincibility was misplaced. We are mortal like everyone else and, just like every living organism on this planet, we know not when our time is up. It can be tomorrow or it can be several decades later. The fact that we don't know can be a gruesome experience.

When we learn that we have finite time on this planet, we start to panic. We start to recall our past and see all the time we wasted. The time in the past is gone forever but we don't realize that when we are too young to understand. We have all those golden years that we could've turned into something incredible. Instead, those times were wasted and we can only think about the what ifs scenarios.

At some point in our lives, we'll be thinking about the what ifs. What if I worked harder at school? What if I asked that person out for a date? What if I took up the opportunity? There are countless what if scenarios we can imagine but they won't ever come true as we lost the opportunity to do so. Death makes the loss of those time permanent and we'd only waste more time if we ponder how we could've changed it.

[Rick(amateur)]

-Death 4-

If we have an eternity to live, what will we accomplish in life? The answer is very little since we have no rush in getting anything done now. If our procrastination is this bad when we are mortals, then turning us into immortals will likely see our procrastination reach new heights. In a way, death is the driving force for change because nothing terrifies people more than their end.

For some of us, we want to leave behind some sort of legacy. We don't want to be another name on a tombstone somewhere nobody knows about. We want to achieve something in life so our time on this world was meaningful. Essentially, we want to know that we had a purpose and we got a chance to live that purpose by impacting more lives than just our own.

A lot of us have trouble getting motivated into doing something we know is great for us. We can name all the reasons from the top of our head but we have yet to take the actions necessary. What if we were suddenly told that we have a month left to live? We undoubtedly will change all of our habits so we are geared to accomplish more in that single month than ten years.

When we realize that time isn't a luxury anymore, we'll do many things differently. In our new vocabulary, procrastination no longer exists because there are so many tomorrows left. We cannot say next year when it's very possible we'll be gone by then. What's amazing and unfortunate about this situation is that, during these last moments we have on this world, we defy all odds and discover we can accomplish the impossible.