Back on medication, feel like a failure

[LadyPoldark]

So I've just gotten back from the doctors and been put on fluoxetine 20mg....kind of worked up about it as I was determined to manage my anxiety without medication. I think my dislike of medication has been due to judgemental people.

My doctor said something useful; he said for me to think about it in terms of 'people take daily medication to treat things such as diabetes, so why should I feel bad about taking medication to treat my anxiety'

However I still can't help but think I've let myself and other people down by going back on meds, but I totally know that I couldn't carry on in the anxious mess I have been in either. Does anyone else get annoyed with themselves for taking anti anxiety medications? and is it just due to the stigma from people people that don't understand?

[KeeKee]

I've yet to meet somebody who thinks taking medication for anxiety or depression is wrong. The opposite actually, I've had people ask me why I stopped taking it if i still feel depressed, they think I should be happy to gain 20lbs if it makes me 'feel better'.

You should always do what you feel is right for you, it is your life and you are the one who has to deal with your feelings. If the medication helps and the side effects are bearable, it would be crazy not to take them in my opinion.

You don't even have to tell people you are taking meds, nobody need know but you and your doctor.

[PunkyFish]

So I've just gotten back from the doctors and been put on fluoxetine 20mg....kind of worked up about it as I was determined to manage my anxiety without medication. I think my dislike of medication has been due to judgemental people.

My doctor said something useful; he said for me to think about it in terms of 'people take daily medication to treat things such as diabetes, so why should I feel bad about taking medication to treat my anxiety'

However I still can't help but think I've let myself and other people down by going back on meds, but I totally know that I couldn't carry on in the anxious mess I have been in either. Does anyone else get annoyed with themselves for taking anti anxiety medications? and is it just due to the stigma from people people that don't understand?

I'm on the same medication and it has been great for my anxiety and depression. I went through a similar sort of process. I would say to myself that I would deal with the anxiety but it just got too much for me.

The decision to take medication can be somewhat of a difficult choice, however I would rather be on medication for the rest of my life and be able to control the anxiety and be able to live my life rather than having the anxiety ruin my life. My life now is somewhat anxiety free. I still do have moments but I am able to control them much better.

The doctor is right. Some people have to take medication to say balance out the emotions or chemicals in the brain which can make us feel anxious and so forth. There is nothing wrong with having to take this medication despite what anybody else says. These people are just narrow minded and until someone has been through or knows someone with anxiety they have no idea what a horrible illness it can be. You also don't have to tell people your on this medication. Only my family and very close friends know.

You have not let yourself down. You have just admitted that you may need some sort of help to control your anxiety. This is a step in the right direction to your recovery. Stay in contact with your doctor. This medication can take sometime to beging to work.

All the best. :)

[poppadr3w]

If you had high blood pressure you'd take medication, right? Diabetic? Thyroid disorder? Mental health medication is the same way, and is quite necessary for the majority of people with anxiety and/or depression. There is no shame in taking medication for an ailment that you suffer from, friend.

I agree, there was/is a stigma. But that is archaic thinking among thick-headed people. I have actually seen the stigma become alleviated over the years, especially as more light has been shed on the issue of mental health in a constructive manner. Anyone can be affected by mental health issues, whether minor or major. I mean, look at Robin Williams - a highly decorated actor with decades of experience making people laugh in a joyous way. He seemed like the nicest, funniest, happiest individual, especially in Hollywood. Dead. He hanged himself over mental health issues.

Everyone is fighting a battle, ours is just... different. It's not fabricated; it is real as the keyboard you're touching as typing these posts.

But I must admit, I totally understand your mindset. I was the EXACT same way when I first started medication. I felt weak, lowly and just wanted to crawl into a hole. After being diagnosed and starting medication (which helped me feel a LOT better, by the way), I tried a few times to come off. Each time the anxiety became so horrendous that the quality of my life was lower than dirt. I remember coming off and the anxiety being so grand and prevalent that as a grown man I wanted to cry. I had tension in my chest constantly, was dizzy, had panic attacks, etc. So now what I try to do is not overdo the medication in a way. Take what I need and what's necessary, but not totally rely on the medication. I still do things to try and deal with the anxiety on my own simultaneously. My battle plan is multi-faceted. Eating a decent diet, exercise, supplementation, etc.

I do write a blog called The Anxiety Press if you'd like to take a look (www.anxietypress.com) that deals with fitness and is generally geared towards people with anxiety. Fitness has been paramount in helping me combat anxiety.

And KeeKee is absolutely correct - NO ONE has to know that you're on medication. It's private. I mean, you shouldn't be ashamed of it, but I've never heard of people on diabetes medication going around informing people. It's no one else's business except your own, your doctor, and whomever else you CHOOSE to share it with.

Stay strong.

[Hollow]

Sorry if off topic, I'm currently facing a difficult choice as whether to take medication or not, does medication remove the physical symptoms of anxiety? or does it just fix the chemical balance in the brain.

[KeeKee]

Sorry if off topic, I'm currently facing a difficult choice as whether to take medication or not, does medication remove the physical symptoms of anxiety? or does it just fix the chemical balance in the brain.

It will be different for each individual unfortunately there is no way of knowing how it will affect you personally until you try it.

My experience was that it didn't touch my anxiety at all and I actually developed anxiety whilst taking Fluoxetine (had been on it over 4 years at the time). I did find Propranolol helped with the physical side of anxiety though which for me was the worst part of it when my anxiety was at its worst.

[Rick(amateur)]

So I've just gotten back from the doctors and been put on fluoxetine 20mg....kind of worked up about it as I was determined to manage my anxiety without medication. I think my dislike of medication has been due to judgemental people.

My doctor said something useful; he said for me to think about it in terms of 'people take daily medication to treat things such as diabetes, so why should I feel bad about taking medication to treat my anxiety'

However I still can't help but think I've let myself and other people down by going back on meds, but I totally know that I couldn't carry on in the anxious mess I have been in either. Does anyone else get annoyed with themselves for taking anti anxiety medications? and is it just due to the stigma from people people that don't understand?

I will admit that I'm not a fan of medication since I'm more in favor of something more natural. It's very opinionated and I definitely won't judge people for using medication. I guess it's more of our different approaches and perspectives in life. I do have to emphasis that my anxiety isn't as bad as many others so medication is more optional than mandatory which contributes to my view.

Here's what I think about your situation. Take the medication and be vocal with your doctor if you don't feel it's right. Your job is to remove anxiety but, if the side effects are making life worse, let the doctor know. I feel part of the stigma is also how society views mental illness. Overall, do what helps you the most but don't be afraid to let your doctor know regarding your reaction to medication. It's not a great trade if the medication solves one problem but brings up another problem.

[Fishmanpa]

Personally, I don't see it as a failure to be on medication. If it helps, then what's the issue?

I think you show more courage taking them than trying to fight through without it.

Positive thoughts

[LadyPoldark]

Thanks for all the replies, they've helped me feel a lot better about taking medication again.
You are all correct in saying its personal information, I guess I've had the experience of telling people close to me in the past, and they've seen fit to tell other people :huh:
I have really low self esteem, I know that's a cliche thing to say but it's very true. After reading the comments here it's nice to know that other people can relate to how I've been feeling. Also very interested in how the combination of exercise and medication can help. With me I seem to have 'relied' on one or another

[braindead]

Thanks for all the replies, they've helped me feel a lot better about taking medication again.
You are all correct in saying its personal information, I guess I've had the experience of telling people close to me in the past, and they've seen fit to tell other people :huh:
I have really low self esteem, I know that's a cliche thing to say but it's very true. After reading the comments here it's nice to know that other people can relate to how I've been feeling. Also very interested in how the combination of exercise and medication can help. With me I seem to have 'relied' on one or another

was you on fluoxetine the last time you was ill , it can take up to 12 weeks thats just for depression.:shades:

[snowghost57]

I felt like you at one time. I had a major meltdown in February. I could do nothing but cry. I didn't want to go out, I didn't want to shower, I just didn't care. I went to therapy, cried in my car. When I found myself crying in the shower I knew I had to do something. I am really, really sensitive to medication and I told my doctor that. We tried 25mg of Zoloft. I felt like a failure. The doctor told me the same thing, if I had high blood pressure wouldn't I take the medication? I stayed on the meds for 20 days, I couldn't even last 3 weeks. But that's o.k. My therapist taught me how to cope with my anxiety and intrusive thoughts. It takes a lot of work but I do it.

I'm glad that medication helps some people. We are all different. What works for one person, won't work for the next person. What is important is to do what is right for you and only you can make that decision.

[LadyPoldark]

was you on fluoxetine the last time you was ill , it can take up to 12 weeks thats just for depression.:shades:

Yeah, it worked pretty well for me, I was on it for a long time, I think I changed because I was feeling very sluggish again. Myself and my doctor opted for fluoxetine again as I didn't get too many side effects from it.

[braindead]

Yeah, it worked pretty well for me, I was on it for a long time, I think I changed because I was feeling very sluggish again. Myself and my doctor opted for fluoxetine again as I didn't get too many side effects from it. :yesyes: