Hello, undiagnosed panic attacks

[littleb]

Hi everyone,

I am a 25 year old female who has been suffering panic attacks for as long as I can remember. It has been progressively getting worse ever since I moved in with my husband after we got married. Not to say that it is his fault that I am in this situation, but the stress from being married and living under one roof is definitely a huge factor. In turn, my panic attacks cause my husband to become very angry because I believe he does not know how to deal with it. It has become a very vicious cycle of my panic attacks -> anger from hubby -> leading to more panic/anxiety -> more anger, possible violence from hubby. The fights have been bad, one or more of us always end up injured.

I want to know where to start to begin the healing process for both of us. Also would like some tips on how he can better respond when I am having a panic attack.

[venusbluejeans]

Hiya littleb and welcome to NMP :welcome:

Why not take a look at our articles on our home page, they contain a wealth of information and are a great starting place for your time on the forum.

I hope you find the as site helpful and informative as I have and that you get the help and support you need here and hope that you meet a few friends along the way :yesyes:

[Rick(amateur)]

Hi littleb, Welcome to the forum! :welcome:

The thing about anxiety is that it affects the entire family and not just those directly impacted. I'm sorry to hear this vicious cycle happening to your family and I believe there are ways to stop it. These are just suggestions and advice I think might work.

First, we need a few questions answered to better know about the situation. You don't need to answer them here but I hope they are food for thought. When you are having a panic attack, do you want you husband there? If yes, what support do you want from him? If not, are you finding ways to calm yourself eventually? Regardless of what your answers are above, have you talked to your husband about your reactions and thoughts on how he should respond?

I have friends who have their own families already and it's surprising how little communication they have. They sort of assumed that their other half knows what they're thinking so little is needed to be spoken. Communicating properly can be so vital as you try to reveal your thoughts on the matters and agree on the best approach.

As for how your husband should respond, this is the tough part. People don't understand anxiety until they had them. Even then, there are so many different anxieties that there could still be lack of understanding. All he can do is do some reading and be supportive best he can. Having him improve his temper will help prevent the situation from escalating for certain. Otherwise, just talk more and find a way forward together.

I hope these help somewhat. These are just my few thoughts on the matter. I hope your situation improves soon. :)

[fduop]

Good morning littleb. Rick give some good advice and the resources here at NMP can help. Two things I want to bring up, first one of the cheapest and most effective books I found on controlling Panic Attacks is this one avilable on Kindle and paper How to Stop Panic Attacks. (https://www.amazon.com/How-Stop-Anxiety-Panic-Attacks-ebook/dp/B00622ENX0/ref=sr_1_7?s=digital-text&ie=UTF8&qid=1497876741&sr=1-7&keywords=geert) The book was written by Geert V., a follow sufferer, it's a bit humorous but simple and effective.

Next about family you and your husband he needs to learn marriage isn't a joy ride. Your going to have troubles, he's going to have troubles. If you really love each other, then he needs to understand he married you "warts and all". I hate to sound like a jerk, but I have been married 30 years. Without a little compassion and understanding of each other, it going to be a bumpy ride. Because while you may need his help now, at some point he's going to need yours. It's a partnership, not a dictatorship. Didn't mean to get so heavy, but I'd rather see you go into this with both eyes open.

You be proactive in getting better. Be honest and get him involved as well, this is your fight together. Best to you littleb on the road to getting better.