Worse again/fear of epilepsy

[sheslostcontrol]

Hi everyone,

so I've been battling some pretty heavy anxiety which sometimes leads to panic attacks since April (I mean, I had it in the past, but had been really fine for the past four years). It's mainly health anxiety, occasionally fear of dying (not death in itself, only dying and not getting to do all the things I'd still like to do in my life). I've managed to pass my final exams perfectly and all in the meantime, so I guess it has not had that much effect on my 'outside' life, but it's pretty horrible on the 'inside'.

So, I go to therapy, and I also went to see a psychiatrist. He wasn't really helpful, so this Wednesday I went to another one and she gave me some citalopram based medicine. I was hesitant at first because I was feeling better and thought I could do without meds, but I gave it a shot, thinking 'why not'. Oh, how wrong I was. It was only a half (actually more like a 1/4) of the 10 mg pill, but I got a terrible panic attack while washing the dishes, unable to control it (which I had been able to do before). I had to take some benzo to stop it. Then I cried for like an hour and felt desperate, which had not been a part of my problems before. Anyway, I'm not taking it anymore and am better, but...

yesterday I got these muscle twitches in all my body, including my head (I had them before, only not this strong) and had a weird feeling of heaviness of my head and my whole body, also my legs hurt and I have this constant weird fear which is a kind of a deja-vu feeling only I know that I actually had this feeling in the past. So, anyway, now I'm super worried that I might be having epilepsy. It's ridiculous and my psychotherapist has assured me that these are not the symptoms, but... I keep worrying. I also got my period, which Iwas not supposed to get for another week, and it was really heavy, which scared me even more.

(Before epilepsy, my major fear was my heart, getting a heart attack and all that, though my heart seems to be okay, only I'm overweight, so I guess that added up to the fear, but I'm trying to lose weight.)

Is there anyone else with similar worries? 😞

I know we can all get through this and I hope you're having a great day. 🙂

[FreakOutQueen]

I have muscle twitches everywhere too. I'm starting to see a theme here with us anxiety sufferers and twitching. I wouldn't worry too much about it. I'm sure you are fine. I have read that since they are all over it's less worrisome.

[sheslostcontrol]

I know it's nothing to worry about (well, hopefully), but the fear is always there, especially when it happens to my hand when I'm holding my phone or so. Anyway, I've found that just relaxing and literally letting my body do what it wants helps a lot. :)

[Chrysmar09]

the same thing happen to me when I took paxil... it was the worse now I feel like it damaged me in some way. I am now scared of seizures because of how im twitching jerking and shaking from the paxil

[sheslostcontrol]

Oh, I can relate to that, I'm also worried the AD has damaged me in some sort of way, but believe me, if you did not get a seizure when you took it and within some reasonable timeframe after taking it (don't know if you still are taking it), you should be fine. Twitching is common, not only in people with anxiety and is not usually a symptom of epilepsy.

Oh, and to assure you it gets better, I'm no longer worried about having epilepsy, my twitching, while still there, does not happen as often and I got bsck to my good old heart attack worries. :)

[littlepanda]

Hey There,

I get similar fears. Actually hadn't even thought about my fear of epilepsy in ages until today when I accidentally clicked something online which took me to a CRAZY flashing screen.

I've always disliked flashing lights because of the fear of having a fit (even though I've never had one in my life)...

My eyes went funny (as they would) but I was freaked out for about 30 mins after.

Just keep in mind - you aren't going to just suddenly die. It's extremely rare for things like that to happen. I live alone most of the time so I get scared something will happen while I'm alone, but have to reassure myself. You need to learn some good self talk:

"This thought is scaring me. But it's only a thought."

Etc

[sheslostcontrol]

Hi. :)

Thanks for sharing your experience. I can relate to that so much - especially the flashing lights, even though I've been to dozens of shows (and only occasionally closed my during some more aggressive lights, out of the casual fear of having a fit which I've had since I read some warning on a video game as a kid).

True, we have to rationalize a lot. :) That's the only thing that helps me as I'm a pretty rational person outside my anxiety.

Hope you're having a nice day. :)