View Full Version : Belonging.
mrjonesmcr
17-06-17, 22:47
In my 28 years on this earth, I've never really felt like I've belonged, I've always been the outcast, the rejected one. I've never been part of any scene, I've never been important. The 'weird' one if you will.
I feel like everyone else has been, or if they've had similar feelings, they've been fortunate to give the illusion that they don't, and by fortunate, I mean fortunate in my point of view.
At this point, I feel like that ship has sailed. Anxiety and depression have truly robbed me of this.
This planet in a way, isn't where we truly come from. There's a mysterious invisible where everything comes from. The world at large is significantly tipped to the hostile and negative. Some people hold onto every last drip of freedom but then they find themselves left out from the crowd, like some people on sites like NMP. Faceless companies only want to sell so they make you feel like shit from utero to the coffin. A lot of people believe in a choice of money or love. They sacrifice their love and get money then they feel power. It's no surprise you've never felt at home in a sense...
Some people simply aren't sensitive to peer pressures. I'm not. Most of it's bullscrap. And people fill themselves up with bullcrap to fit in and feel normal. Believing in illusions, and people giving illusions that nothing's getting to them is in my opinion, one of the worst ways to live. Never fortunate. Like you said, it's only your point of view.
When you say the ship has sailed...You're still young in your 20's approaching 30... (which is not old!). You can let loose and have fun and be silly. I don't think anyone is expecting much maturity of a 28 yr old. No need to make big projects or dreams that must be accomplished now.
You are probably doing small things that you are maybe not appreciating. No need to already be perfect. The good news is nothing's ever been robbed by depression. There's been delays. Truth has been depressed. It lays dormant within you, you just may need to dig deep inside to uncover it. Appreciate the small everyday things. You and everybody are here for a bigger purpose and never to buy or sell.
Understand where you are coming from mate, the world is a very unfair and brutal place but don't give up yet as they say every dog has his day.
Great advice form both posters :) Michael I truly know where you are at have been there countless times and only last night I thought that's it too tired and Iam flogging a dead horse here, ship grounded end of journey glad I didn't abandon ship and now Iam course again hey you can too mate :) Don't give up ever, how ever hard the going gets ;) Take care cheers
depression puts you life on hold till it lets go then your life starts back up again in remission, i am 69 but only 45 in my head , i should drive a skoda but i drive a engine tuned fiat 500 red Abarth 185bhp that because my brain is 45 years old:shades:
depression puts you life on hold till it lets go then your life starts back up again in remission, i am 69 but only 45 in my head , i should drive a skoda but i drive a engine tuned fiat 500 red Abarth 185bhp that because my brain is 45 years old:shades: Yes it does, but only if you allow it to put it on hold sure depression is very crippling but if you have tools in place every time you have a relapse it's easier to get to the other side me thinks :) Yes you should be driving a Skoda ha ha ahh but there again if you have the dollar why not push the boat out a little ;) Hope you don't go too fast in it LOL Cheers
Yes it does, but only if you allow it to put it on hold sure depression is very crippling but if you have tools in place every time you have a relapse it's easier to get to the other side me thinks :) Yes you should be driving a Skoda ha ha ahh but there again if you have the dollar why not push the boat out a little ;) Hope you don't go too fast in it LOL Cheers:shades::shades::shades::wacko:
onemoretime
19-06-17, 14:37
Michael.... I SO get how you're feeling. I wish someone was here beside me right now to help too, to give me similar advice. You have time on your hands which is is something I think you'll start to appreciate with support. I'm 37... nearly ten years on ya lol. Never married, (long term relationships but single now) no kids and all I see around me are "happy" couples, going off on hols, having kids, getting on with their lives. I have been a high achiever in my career but I now feel completely isolated. I too have always felt like an outsider, like someone looking on from the side lines, watching other people's sense of place and belonging and wondering what the heck that must feel like.... I look and feel much younger yet my mind keeps telling me it's game-over, you've failed, too late for you now.
I started volunteering at ChildLine a while back and that helped me feel I was doing something to help others and I see you're a volunteer too, does that help you?
I too feel like my ship has sailed. Actually, for me it feels like I've been driving along in the fast lane only to see no one else is with me and I must have missed the turn. It might be this country/social media not helping but seeing so many posts on this site alone is reassuring we're in this together.
(This is my very first post bc today I was feeling this exact same way Michael and I just thought - I need to see if anyone else is going through this or am I crazy?!!).
Hope we both get to feel what we perceive others to feel, even when we know it's more what our own minds are telling us I guess.
You're clearly not alone :D
MICHEAL has been ill most of his life that's why he feels isolated,onemoretime you don't mention an illness why do you think you have isolated yourself, you have a cool job say you look young. have you no confidence with the dating game, its easy to find a partner online now if you be careful i don't get your post, Can you explain why you feel left out ,it seems you have it all but dont reach out for it.:shrug: IT takes a partner in a million to take on a depressive and i feel blessed :shades:
MICHEAL has been ill most of his life that's why he feels isolated,onemoretime you don't mention an illness why do you think you have isolated yourself, you have a cool job say you look young. have you no confidence with the dating game, its easy to find a partner online now if you be careful i don't get your post, Can you explain why you feel left out ,it seems you have it all but dont reach out for it.:shrug: IT takes a partner in a million to take on a depressive and i feel blessed :shades: TBH with you braindead it's not that easy so really content with having a few meaning full friends in my life relationships are way too complicated and not too bothered about it :) Thanks
In my 28 years on this earth, I've never really felt like I've belonged, I've always been the outcast, the rejected one. I've never been part of any scene, I've never been important. The 'weird' one if you will.
I feel like everyone else has been, or if they've had similar feelings, they've been fortunate to give the illusion that they don't, and by fortunate, I mean fortunate in my point of view.
At this point, I feel like that ship has sailed. Anxiety and depression have truly robbed me of this.
Really wish I could give some positive advice, unfortunately I can relate to a lot of what you say.
The last couple of years have been very hard, I've been dealt some quite harsh home truths about were I'm at right now in my life.
I wouldn't describe myself as an outcast as such, but my whole life I have struggled to form genuine relationships, most probably because of depression and my unhealthy ways of coping with depression.
I'm at the stage now were I can't be bothered to make an effort, It feels kinda good in a way because I feel the pressure is off now.
Hopefully I'll get in a more positive state of mind soon and start making an effort again. All the self help books I've accumulated over the years have gone in the bin though, I certainly won't be buying anymore.
Actually I'm developing a "not giving a shit attitude" which feels good:D
Sometimes we just need a bit of luck, sometimes we just need good things to happen. You're still young at 28, plenty of time for good things to happen for you
:yesyes:
mrjonesmcr
21-06-17, 16:43
This planet in a way, isn't where we truly come from. There's a mysterious invisible where everything comes from. The world at large is significantly tipped to the hostile and negative. Some people hold onto every last drip of freedom but then they find themselves left out from the crowd, like some people on sites like NMP. Faceless companies only want to sell so they make you feel like shit from utero to the coffin. A lot of people believe in a choice of money or love. They sacrifice their love and get money then they feel power. It's no surprise you've never felt at home in a sense...
Some people simply aren't sensitive to peer pressures. I'm not. Most of it's bullscrap. And people fill themselves up with bullcrap to fit in and feel normal. Believing in illusions, and people giving illusions that nothing's getting to them is in my opinion, one of the worst ways to live. Never fortunate. Like you said, it's only your point of view.
When you say the ship has sailed...You're still young in your 20's approaching 30... (which is not old!). You can let loose and have fun and be silly. I don't think anyone is expecting much maturity of a 28 yr old. No need to make big projects or dreams that must be accomplished now.
You are probably doing small things that you are maybe not appreciating. No need to already be perfect. The good news is nothing's ever been robbed by depression. There's been delays. Truth has been depressed. It lays dormant within you, you just may need to dig deep inside to uncover it. Appreciate the small everyday things. You and everybody are here for a bigger purpose and never to buy or sell.
People keep telling me I'm young, I'm not. Okay, clearly I am not old either, right now it's some kind of purgatory. And most people now seem to want to settle down and not have fun, which would be fine if I was able to live before. But now most have relationships, they're getting houses, quitting drinking, rarely socialising, focusing on careers etc. I'm not really how I can 'let loose'. Most of the decisions I've made and events that have happened will likely shape my future, at least it's how it seems.
---------- Post added at 16:37 ---------- Previous post was at 16:33 ----------
I started volunteering at ChildLine a while back and that helped me feel I was doing something to help others and I see you're a volunteer too, does that help you?
It's charity work shop. Quite honestly, it doesn't feel rewarding or excites me dramatically. I've done it on and off for about five years now. I'm jaded to the point where I don't feel like I'm useful or helping people. I feel like if I left tomorrow, my place would be taken and I'd be an afterthought.
---------- Post added at 16:38 ---------- Previous post was at 16:37 ----------
Sometimes we just need a bit of luck, sometimes we just need good things to happen. You're still young at 28, plenty of time for good things to happen for you
:yesyes:
People keep telling me this. It's something I hope I'm proved wrong about, but I've heard it so many times and found myself s**t on, it almost sounds like white noise.
---------- Post added at 16:43 ---------- Previous post was at 16:38 ----------
I'm at the stage now were I can't be bothered to make an effort, It feels kinda good in a way because I feel the pressure is off now.
That's what I'd like to aim for. I managed it a couple of years back, I just went with the flow and hoped for the best. It worked for a bit, but something triggered me. No idea what though.
Hi mrjonesmcr, probably not a good idea for me to say not making effort is good. I would guess some people on the forum have to make an effort just to walk out the front door. You should always try to make an effort to improve your circumstances, just don't worry about it if things don't go to plan, as long as you tried.
There's definitely a huge element of luck in life it can't be denied.
Anyway, I don't want to come across negative, I feel very positive of late, I think my luck might be changing :D
Hi mrjonesmcr, probably not a good idea for me to say not making effort is good. I would guess some people on the forum have to make an effort just to walk out the front door. You should always try to make an effort to improve your circumstances, just don't worry about it if things don't go to plan, as long as you tried.
There's definitely a huge element of luck in life it can't be denied.
Anyway, I don't want to come across negative, I feel very positive of late, I think my luck might be changing :D Yes you are right Barry boy not making a effort is negative it's often easier though as no effort is required to do nothing. But your post does end on a good note!! And exactly you have try if you fail, you keep trying there's a very true saying 'If at first you don't succeed try, try again' Lets just say Iam glad I didn't give up :) Cheers
I haven't given up BB, I've had a lot of opportunities come my way in the last couple of years, I suppose I just feel exhausted by it all.
Put it another way: I'm not making any effort in trying to please other people. That for me, is a big weight of my shoulders. If anything, I'm getting on a lot better with people with that attitude:)
I haven't given up BB, I've had a lot of opportunities come my way in the last couple of years, I suppose I just feel exhausted by it all.
Put it another way: I'm not making any effort in trying to please other people. That for me, is a big weight of my shoulders. If anything, I'm getting on a lot better with people with that attitude:) Hi Bb Nah I never suggested you had given up :) Yeah it does get tiring for sure! Ahh thanks for the explanation in full that does make sense, I used to be a people pleaser too, not any more genuine people will want to know you for you :yesyes: Keep up the good work you will go far :) Cheers
Thanks BB
BB:D
Edit:By the sounds of it mrjonesmcr knows what I mean. Sometimes we expect to much from ourselves. Good to give ourselves a break sometimes.
Thanks BB
BB:D
Edit:By the sounds of it mrjonesmcr knows what I mean. Sometimes we expect to much from ourselves. Good to give ourselves a break sometimes. You Are Welcome :) Pinching my username initials what ever next:roflmao: Yeah I am sure he does, deffo on that we need to be kinder to ourselves too ;) Cheers
mrjonesmcr
22-06-17, 18:44
Hi mrjonesmcr, probably not a good idea for me to say not making effort is good. I would guess some people on the forum have to make an effort just to walk out the front door. You should always try to make an effort to improve your circumstances, just don't worry about it if things don't go to plan, as long as you tried.
There's definitely a huge element of luck in life it can't be denied.
Anyway, I don't want to come across negative, I feel very positive of late, I think my luck might be changing :D
I accept that, and some members have looked at my posts and don't have any empathy and they struggle to even leave the house, and I've been there so I can relate. However, I can only post from my perspective. I don't demand or expect everyone to blindly agree.
And I've been there, done that. I've made so much effort and gone with the flow, yet I've felt further isolated and rejected, both seem to be a waste of time.
I'm glad you're in a better place though, I truly am. I wouldn't wish isolation on my worst enemy.
I accept that, and some members have looked at my posts and don't have any empathy and they struggle to even leave the house, and I've been there so I can relate. However, I can only post from my perspective. I don't demand or expect everyone to blindly agree.
And I've been there, done that. I've made so much effort and gone with the flow, yet I've felt further isolated and rejected, both seem to be a waste of time.
I'm glad you're in a better place though, I truly am. I wouldn't wish isolation on my worst enemy.
And again I very much relate to what you are saying. I've been shat on a lot, and i've been running into brick walls all my life. You name it I've tried it, all different therapies etc etc.
I went to see a psychotherapist last year when I was at my lowest. I got up half way through the first session and said "stuff this mate I'm done with this".
If I'm honest I'd rather not talk about my darkest moments, it doesn't help me nowadays, but like I say things are good now, i'll never go back to where I was last year never.
I've learned some good stuff along the way, and what's most important is taking responsibility for the way you feel. You have to avoid looking outside yourself for causes of your problems. If you want to get better you have to work bloody hard.
Don't get me wrong though, most of our problems are because of bad treatment from other people etc. But you have to try your best to get on top of it.
I'm a bit knackered at the moment, I'm just taking it easy not really giving a s**t.
I hope this doesn't come across as preachy, we are all different I suppose.
I'm looking forward to the future though, I've got plans and if they work out life will be sweet:)
And again I very much relate to what you are saying. I've been shat on a lot, and i've been running into brick walls all my life. You name it I've tried it, all different therapies etc etc.
I went to see a psychotherapist last year when I was at my lowest. I got up half way through the first session and said "stuff this mate I'm done with this".
If I'm honest I'd rather not talk about my darkest moments, it doesn't help me nowadays, but like I say things are good now, i'll never go back to where I was last year never.
I've learned some good stuff along the way, and what's most important is taking responsibility for the way you feel. You have to avoid looking outside yourself for causes of your problems. If you want to get better you have to work bloody hard.
Don't get me wrong though, most of our problems are because of bad treatment from other people etc. But you have to try your best to get on top of it.
I'm a bit knackered at the moment, I'm just taking it easy not really giving a s**t.
I hope this doesn't come across as preachy, we are all different I suppose.
I'm looking forward to the future though, I've got plans and if they work out life will be sweet:)Bb I hear you been there my self and very dark it was really thought the light at the end of tunnel had either gone out or it was a long way away I have found it it was the latter so that is good and now I can see the light and I never want those dark days in my life again I know exactly what Mr Jones is going through I also have lots of empathy for him too :) and what you say is true life will be sweet once again Thank you :) Cheers
Cheers BB, actually i'm very lucky, I've got some pretty cool people around me a the moment, not one enemy anywhere (I'll probably make a few on here if I hang around long enough though) about time I had some luck. Thanks BB I hear what you're saying mate:) I hope things go well for both of us, im sure they will.
Cheers BB, actually i'm very lucky, I've got some pretty cool people around me a the moment, not one enemy anywhere (I'll probably make a few on here if I hang around long enough though) about time I had some luck. Thanks BB I hear what you're saying mate:) I hope things go well for both of us, im sure they will. Np Bb that's great to hear :) Nah you haven't got any enemies here well Iam not one of them! Just wished you lived nearer for chat and coffee!! Yeah so do I mate been waiting a long time for things to change Cheers
Powered by vBulletin® Version 4.2.5 Copyright © 2024 vBulletin Solutions Inc. All rights reserved.