CaliSurfGirl89
19-06-17, 22:19
Hey guys,
So not been on here for a very long time, like 2-3 years, and I was doing so well with the anxieties I have, my previous posts were about melanoma and breast cancer, breast cancer screening came back clear and have another 1 due this year (mom died of breast cancer and breasts too dense to fully check myself) the mole under my breast is fine it's just the way it is due to my breasts growing. I was doing so well and I was so proud of myself, but my husky was a bit poorly (my anxiety set it then) and I stupidly got a bit sunburnt on my chest, neck (just the back) basically was focusing on my husky and was trying to cool him down so took him to the beach to cool down and ta-da. Anywayyyy this has all set back in my stupid melanoma fear. I'm checking every mole and bit of skin obsessively and I'm getting angry because I can't see my back properly. I do have a weird mole on my back that was checked years ago and they said it was fine but I really don't like it and that I can't keep an eye on it with it being in between my shoulder blades. So tried to take pictures and noticed a tiny light pink spot near by and stupidly scratched it and it poured with blood. Also fixated on a mole on my tummy that started off really tiny and and orangey brown colour then grew and went into a brown mole with an orange circle now it's all 1 colour and about the same size as a pencil eraser, now it could be this big because I've gained quite a bit of weight. I've registered with a Drs today and can hopefully get an appointment to get these moles/blemishes checked but I deffo want the 1 on my back removed as it looks very atypical to me.
Anxiety is a bitch, it makes you ill then you think your illness is related then make yourself even more ill, currently feeling really sick, lack of appitite, massive headache, back, muscles and joints all hurt, but I'm determined to get this checked and kick my melanoma anxiety in the ass, it's amazing as it only makes up 2% but you always think what if I fall in that 2%, what if it's spread without me knowing, what if it isn't curable and so on and it's no way to live or think. So here's to hoping it's nothing and it's just my stupid anxiety yet again xx
So not been on here for a very long time, like 2-3 years, and I was doing so well with the anxieties I have, my previous posts were about melanoma and breast cancer, breast cancer screening came back clear and have another 1 due this year (mom died of breast cancer and breasts too dense to fully check myself) the mole under my breast is fine it's just the way it is due to my breasts growing. I was doing so well and I was so proud of myself, but my husky was a bit poorly (my anxiety set it then) and I stupidly got a bit sunburnt on my chest, neck (just the back) basically was focusing on my husky and was trying to cool him down so took him to the beach to cool down and ta-da. Anywayyyy this has all set back in my stupid melanoma fear. I'm checking every mole and bit of skin obsessively and I'm getting angry because I can't see my back properly. I do have a weird mole on my back that was checked years ago and they said it was fine but I really don't like it and that I can't keep an eye on it with it being in between my shoulder blades. So tried to take pictures and noticed a tiny light pink spot near by and stupidly scratched it and it poured with blood. Also fixated on a mole on my tummy that started off really tiny and and orangey brown colour then grew and went into a brown mole with an orange circle now it's all 1 colour and about the same size as a pencil eraser, now it could be this big because I've gained quite a bit of weight. I've registered with a Drs today and can hopefully get an appointment to get these moles/blemishes checked but I deffo want the 1 on my back removed as it looks very atypical to me.
Anxiety is a bitch, it makes you ill then you think your illness is related then make yourself even more ill, currently feeling really sick, lack of appitite, massive headache, back, muscles and joints all hurt, but I'm determined to get this checked and kick my melanoma anxiety in the ass, it's amazing as it only makes up 2% but you always think what if I fall in that 2%, what if it's spread without me knowing, what if it isn't curable and so on and it's no way to live or think. So here's to hoping it's nothing and it's just my stupid anxiety yet again xx