TINO
21-06-17, 12:28
Hi guys!
Just new to the forum. My name is Tino. :blush:
For as long as I can remember, I have periodically been subjected to intrusive thoughts and felt compelled to carry out various memory tests when absurd challenges have entered my head (everything from trying to remember things I know are unimportant such as which shops I visited on a certain day, food I've eaten during a particular week and most most recently news items I've watched on TV over the last week). It does my head in and sometimes I feel in control of my thinking to dismiss these as trivial pieces of factual detail which I do not need to recall, and on other times, I am completely overwhelmed by the compulsion(s) to find the answers which, needless to say, causes me considerable distress. Does anyone else do this? I suppose the solution would be to make a note of such things as they are happening so that the info will be there when I feel obligated to source it. However, the rational part of my mind says "no" as this would be fuelling your OCD and, given time, I would find some other problem to take its place.
Anyway, the one big concern I have for the moment concerns an even that took place over several days at a time last month (the memory of which is here sitting bubbling away in my subconscious). One morning before work, I suddenly became aware of the words I was using when I was writing in an email and my mind soon drifted into thinking when I had used them on other occasions and how I came to first know the meaning of those words and how they entered my vocabulary. It was like deja vu on steroids!!! It was all downhill from there and I started analyzing my personality, my sense of humour as a child and now and also how I made the mental transition from being a child to an adult and how my thinking, behaviour had developed and changed. It was almost like I was a child again and I struggling to fit into my adult body and mind because I wasn't "ready". Does anyone of that make some sort of sense and ring true with anyone else? Typing that and reading it back is ludicrous to me now and I can't make any sense of it now but, at the time, it was nightmarish and extremely distressing and I felt like I was sinking deep within the darkest recesses of mind with no return. But I did, I'm here, I tried to rationalize it a few times (I was at the time saddled with a lot of extra responsibility due to my elderly mother's homecare arrangements, so I put it down to that, perhaps) and really hope the experience doesn't happen to me again. It was terrifying and I felt the most trapped I have ever felt in my life by troubled thoughts.
Apologies for prattling on but any comments and opinions from others here would be warmly welcomed.
Thanks guys.
Just new to the forum. My name is Tino. :blush:
For as long as I can remember, I have periodically been subjected to intrusive thoughts and felt compelled to carry out various memory tests when absurd challenges have entered my head (everything from trying to remember things I know are unimportant such as which shops I visited on a certain day, food I've eaten during a particular week and most most recently news items I've watched on TV over the last week). It does my head in and sometimes I feel in control of my thinking to dismiss these as trivial pieces of factual detail which I do not need to recall, and on other times, I am completely overwhelmed by the compulsion(s) to find the answers which, needless to say, causes me considerable distress. Does anyone else do this? I suppose the solution would be to make a note of such things as they are happening so that the info will be there when I feel obligated to source it. However, the rational part of my mind says "no" as this would be fuelling your OCD and, given time, I would find some other problem to take its place.
Anyway, the one big concern I have for the moment concerns an even that took place over several days at a time last month (the memory of which is here sitting bubbling away in my subconscious). One morning before work, I suddenly became aware of the words I was using when I was writing in an email and my mind soon drifted into thinking when I had used them on other occasions and how I came to first know the meaning of those words and how they entered my vocabulary. It was like deja vu on steroids!!! It was all downhill from there and I started analyzing my personality, my sense of humour as a child and now and also how I made the mental transition from being a child to an adult and how my thinking, behaviour had developed and changed. It was almost like I was a child again and I struggling to fit into my adult body and mind because I wasn't "ready". Does anyone of that make some sort of sense and ring true with anyone else? Typing that and reading it back is ludicrous to me now and I can't make any sense of it now but, at the time, it was nightmarish and extremely distressing and I felt like I was sinking deep within the darkest recesses of mind with no return. But I did, I'm here, I tried to rationalize it a few times (I was at the time saddled with a lot of extra responsibility due to my elderly mother's homecare arrangements, so I put it down to that, perhaps) and really hope the experience doesn't happen to me again. It was terrifying and I felt the most trapped I have ever felt in my life by troubled thoughts.
Apologies for prattling on but any comments and opinions from others here would be warmly welcomed.
Thanks guys.