Jeez...how long will this go on?

[Mindprison]

Hey all

Been off the site for a while in an attempt to get my Health Anxiety under control. Hasn't worked, so I thought i'd rant a bit here just to get everything off my chest as it's all getting to be a bit too much.

I've had persistant anxiety about my health for about 6 months now and there doesn't seem to be any end in sight. Despite me knowing that many of my problems are anxiety related, my head is just not able to accept that new symptoms are happening because I refuse to stop jumping to conclusions about something being seriously wrong with me. I often wonder how it got to this point as it has seriously never been this bad, even when I had legitimate things to worry about.

I'm constantly having physical and mental symptoms that are relentless, the pregabalin and mirtazapine have stopped having any effect and i'm getting symptoms daily.

I get dizziness, brain fog, pressure behind the eyes, headaches, visual disturbances, jerking awake at night with numbness in my chest, stomach problems, acid reflux, collarbone pain. You name it, i've had it at one point or another and to be honest i'm getting really, REALLY sick of it.

Doctors don't know what to do with me, my psychiatrist can't believe that pregabalin isn't working and just ups my dose (and then I don't get to see them for 3 months) and every new symptom brings on a fear about what could be wrong with me. It took me ages to work up the courage to even take the damn things because I read the leaflet and got myself worked up about heart side effects. It feels like right now i'm not willing to take any risks to get better because I think i'm gonna be the 1% who has fatal consequences to medication.

I'm constantly checking my pulse despite knowing nothing will change and even if it did checking my pulse won't do a damn thing. Still do it anyway, still get frustrated with myself when I do.

Where do I even go from here? My condition is that debilitating i'm on ESA and didn't even need to attend a medical based on my doctor and psychiatric report. All I want is to feel normal again but i'm so far away from what normal is that I don't even know how to get back there, if that makes sense?

Sorry for this massive wall of text. I'm extremely frustrated and every time I go to a doctor I feel like a massive timewaster. Right now I just don't know where the hell to go from here, every night I wake with a jerk I think it's my last. I'm pretty much scared of my own shadow right now.

Thanks to anyone who read all this, advice would be appreciated...any light in this darkness is welcome.

[saf138]

Hi
I'm sorry you are going through a rough ride at the moment and every symptom you mentioned sounds like classical anxiety unfortunately trying to get rid of anxiety is not a overnight fix what I found very helpful was to stay occupied as much as possible in my case I started getting out into the wild more often started the gym and got myself a ps4 just to keep the body and mind occupied with something New.
Now this may sound like a weird one but I highly recommend taking cold showers on a regular basis it is a proven great way to reduce stress and the feeling afterwards is euphoric it may take some getting use to but its worth it I honestly can't remember when I last had a warm shower must have been some time last year.
You can have all the help in the world but ultimately its down to you to accept it and to work with it.
All the best

[meant2live]

Mindprison, I just wanted to let you know that you're not alone in this. I would say that I match a lot of your symptoms and history. I haven't gotten any medicine yet, though. I have e the same fears about any new medicine.

Right now, I'm just trying to get myself into exercise and other activities. I'm hoping it'll help.

I truly hope you find some clarity.

[Rey1989]

I am there with you. I am going over massive HA myself right now, just wanted to let you know youre not alone, and I have had all the symptoms you've described, and then some!

Hang in there, i am confident we'll get over this with determination.

Cheers!

Rey

[Mindprison]

Thanks for the replies everyone. It's not nice to hear that everyone else is suffering too but it does make me feel less alone.

It feels hypocritical of me to give advice when I'm not able to take it myself. My doctor agreed that while it's easy to say it's anxiety, it's not so easy when you have GAD or health anxiety to accept that. He said if there's anything more they can do for me to let them know but I'm very self conscious about the amount of doctor visits I've had this year alone.

I wanted to go back today as the brain fog got to a horrible level last night but I stopped myself. I know I can't go running to the doctor everytime something feels off. It feels selfish because there are people with genuine problems. At the same time though, not going causes me to sink into depression constantly thinking about how these new symptoms are different. It's maddening, for both myself and the doctors as they are very real symptoms to me but I am too young for the chances of anything sinister being the cause.

If it wasn't such a strain on NHS resources I'd get everything bothering me checked, but the reassurance wouldn't last long so aside from the massive guilt of wasting NHS resources it would ultimately be fruitless anyway.

Thanks everyone, this is a rough ride.

[Turnaround00]

Sorry you are struggling. It is very hard when it gets to this point but you must remember that tomorrow is another day and things do change.
It doesn't matter if you keep going to the GP. You need as much support as you can at the moment to help you get better. Your health anxiety is a mental illness and either your GP or psychiatrist need to address things. Have you an appointment to see your Psychiatrist?
You are on a low dose of pregablain. The usual dose for anxiety is 400 - 600 mgs.
How long are you on both drugs?
Its just a matter of adjusting the dosage or trying a new drug and getting some therapy and you will feel better again.

[Mindprison]

Thanks turnaround

I am due to see the psychiatrist again in 2 weeks. I've been on 300mg pregabalin for about 3 months now. 150mg 3 months before that and mirtazapine for a year.

All the stress has borked my stomach. I've had to run to the bathroom every day with stomach cramps. I have fibyogel now while we wait and see if I need testing for the usual digestive problems.

One thing after another!

[swajj]

Why do you have to wait 3 months between psychiatrist visits. In the first few months of my anxiety I saw the psych twice a week. Then once a week for a couple of months after that. Eventually it was monthly visits right up until he told me I was well enough to choose when I wanted to see him again.

[Bigboyuk]

MIndprison first you want to stop thinking oh I been the drs too many times this year, that's what they are there for :) I have had a problem that's lasted 12 months or more but I have kept going back, why cause I want the problem fixed. You are in a big mess so suggest you make either a mental/written list tell your dr the meds aren't working any more don't make dose adjustments your self and if need be asking for alternative meds no harm in asking Believe you me it will get better hang on in there mate and if you think you need to see your psychiatrist sooner then ask for this it's your health at stake here :) Take care Cheers

[Mindprison]

Honestly i'm not sure, the waiting time was long for me to see a psychiatrist to begin with. I had to push last time to see them earlier because I wasn't coping and even then I still had to wait another month before they could fit me in.

I mentioned therapy and they said since i've done it before it wouldn't be a good idea to tread old ground, which I didn't really understand. My last visit I mentioned that even with the new medication I was a nervous wreck. Just put my meds up and sent me on my way.

My doctor has been a better help than the psych has to be honest. But I feel sorry for him because he can't do anything without the psychiatrist's say so...yet I need to wait 3 months between appointments.

I saw a psychiatric nurse beforehand and all she did was make me feel worse. The whole reason I got put on the waiting list for an actual psychiatrist is because I felt I wasn't being taken seriously.

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Thanks bigboy

It's a long slog. I'm sure i'll get there eventually but it's been a steady decline since December. It doesn't help that the mental health services in my area aren't the greatest. I asked to see a psychiatrist in November and didn't get to see one til February. And every 3 months since then.

[Bigboyuk]

Honestly i'm not sure, the waiting time was long for me to see a psychiatrist to begin with. I had to push last time to see them earlier because I wasn't coping and even then I still had to wait another month before they could fit me in.

I mentioned therapy and they said since i've done it before it wouldn't be a good idea to tread old ground, which I didn't really understand. My last visit I mentioned that even with the new medication I was a nervous wreck. Just put my meds up and sent me on my way.

My doctor has been a better help than the psych has to be honest. But I feel sorry for him because he can't do anything without the psychiatrist's say so...yet I need to wait 3 months between appointments.

I saw a psychiatric nurse beforehand and all she did was make me feel worse. The whole reason I got put on the waiting list for an actual psychiatrist is because I felt I wasn't being taken seriously.

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Thanks bigboy

It's a long slog. I'm sure i'll get there eventually but it's been a steady decline since December. It doesn't help that the mental health services in my area aren't the greatest. I asked to see a psychiatrist in November and didn't get to see one til February. And every 3 months since then. You are welcome mate :) Strewth this really sucks for you :weep: I mean you are making it real clear to them you aren't coping and they do this too you.
Glad you have good gp behind you perhaps ask them to get and different psychiatrist it's worth asking and as for them saying Therapy isn't going to help well there are different types of therapy which they cant have explored it's tiring but you are going to have to keep pushing for it. What are the MH charities in your area like for Eg: Mind they do have trained therapists and it's self referral so do look in to this as a alternative route keep all options open mate :) Cheers

[Mindprison]

Hi bigboy

I'm not sure what the mental health charities are like in scotland, i'm pretty sure Mind doesn't reach as far as Scotland. There is one called Mind matters but it's in Edinburgh, a fair distance away. My GP might have a better idea of the local mh charities so i'll bring it up at my next check up. Thanks for the tip, I didn't think of that one!

[swajj]

I think it is appalling that you have been told that therapy won't help you. I would never see that psych again. I never used meds (not saying they can't be helpful) my recovery was due to my psychiatrist and an enormous amount of hard work by me. I have said many times here that the waiting times in your country are ridiculous. I was lucky enough to be able to afford a private psychiatrist. But I know for a fact that in our country even if you are on unemployment benefits, a pension etc etc you will still get to see a psychiatrist within a few weeks, usually less. And someone with something like HA would have regular counselling sessions with the psychiatrist.

[MyNameIsTerry]

Hi bigboy

I'm not sure what the mental health charities are like in scotland, i'm pretty sure Mind doesn't reach as far as Scotland. There is one called Mind matters but it's in Edinburgh, a fair distance away. My GP might have a better idea of the local mh charities so i'll bring it up at my next check up. Thanks for the tip, I didn't think of that one!

Sadly there is no Mind or Rethink up there. I have a feeling there is something so it's worth asking but Scotland is many years behind England for mental health. It's unbelievable that NHS Scotland haven't put something like IAPT in place after the years we've had it.

It sounds like your psychiatrist is just doing med reviews.

I hope you get better help. At least you have a good GP in your corner.

[Bigboyuk]

Hi bigboy

I'm not sure what the mental health charities are like in scotland, i'm pretty sure Mind doesn't reach as far as Scotland. There is one called Mind matters but it's in Edinburgh, a fair distance away. My GP might have a better idea of the local mh charities so i'll bring it up at my next check up. Thanks for the tip, I didn't think of that one! Hi Mindprison I would see if Google can help with this ( Google does have it's uses ;) ) Type in mentalhealthcharities+Scotland or mentalhealthservices+Scotland both should show some results :) I mean that's terrible that Scotland has not moved with the times on this. failing that I would call CAB and ask them, they may know of something that will help. Yeah ditch that psychiatrist he sounds useless to me Good luck mate Let us know how you get on Cheers

[Elen]

From my own experience sadly this is how it seems to operate in Scotland.

Psychiatrist's do med reviews and you have months between appointments.

You will most likely see a CPN more often but there is a limit to what they can do.

As for being told that therapy will not help, I too had that prognosis from a psychiatrist. That is such a demoralising thing to hear.

Sorry I don't have any answers but just wanted to let you know that you are not alone.

[Mindprison]

Thanks for the replies all. It is just med reviews from my psychiatrist unfortunately, I don't think they quite understand how debilitating this has gotten. It gets to a point where you've tried so many different meds that you don't know where to go from there. Pregabalin was sold to me as a kind of "Cure all" so imagine my disappointment when after 2 months it stopped working.

I saw a CPN before I saw the psychiatrist and she was horrible to me. I don't claim to live the healthiest lifestyle but long story short she said that not being in work is what was causing my anxiety and depression despite me saying for the first 5 sessions that I had to leave from work related stress that put me in hospital. She couldn't wait to be rid of me every time I saw her pretty much. Before I stopped going she was trying to refer me to occupational health, forgetting that I told her over and over that I already saw them 4 times when I was in work and they just shrugged and said "Nothing more we can do for you"

I'll see how my next psych appointment goes. If at the end of it I just get my meds put up again i'll go back to my GP and ask him if there's any way he can put me on therapy on the fly since it doesn't seem to be going anywhere right now. If he can't, i'll just ask if he can suggest a good one privately. I don't mind paying out of pocket for a few sessions if it's going to give me some benefit.