Can't do this anymore

[Bellaaa13]

I know I've posted 3 threads in the past few days. I'm so sorry for being annoying, but I can't cope with this anxiety any more.

Nobody understands. I can't talk to anyone about it. My family get annoyed when I bring up my 'irrational' worries and they're frustrated that their reassurance doesn't help.

I'm 15 and all my friends are out doing fun stuff this summer completely carefree, and I hate myself for being stuck in worrying the whole time.

I did my GCSEs last month and was predicted great results but I was in such a bad state I could barely concentrate, so I probably did crap. Everyone's going to be so disappointed in me, although they won't say it to my face which makes it even worse.

I had ambitions to go to a good university after leaving school in 2 years time. But now even my mum said she doesn't think I'd be able to handle going to uni unless I was living at home because of my anxiety. Anxiety has just messed up everything.

I don't know what to do. I'm not trying to be dramatic, but sometimes I don't want to live this life anymore. I've already fully convinced myself I'm going to die of one health problem or another, be it cancer or rabies or whatever, so what's the point.

Don't worry, I'm NOT suicidal. I would NEVER do anything. I just want to feel better. I'm tired and feel so helpless at the moment.

I know I'm extremely lucky to live the life I have with a loving family, great friends, a home, an education, good health (supposedly), etc, etc but I just feel crappy right now. It makes me feel horribly ungrateful, because I know so many people out there have it so so much worse and deal with terrible things and here I am complaining. My anxiety makes me so irritable as well which makes me feel even guiltier.

I was prescribed mirtazapine but it's now been switched to escitalopram 20mg which I took a few years ago at 10mg and didn't seem to help much. I doubt it will be much use. Feel like I'm going to be an anxious mess my whole life.

What should I do? Please can someone give me some advice or maybe say a prayer for me if you don't mind.

[Fishmanpa]

What should I do? Please can someone help me.

I'm old enough to be your Dad so sorry if this sounds like a Dad talk :)

You're fifteen. So much is changing rapidly in your life in all areas so certainly that can be overwhelming and contributing to your anxiety.

My daughter will be 24. She came to me when she was around 18 and told me about her anxiety and depression. Myself, along with her mother (we're divorced) made sure she got help. She was on Zoloft but it stopped working so she went through three meds, the ramp up and cross tapering symptoms until they found something that worked (can't recall which one but it was common). Between her therapy and meds she worked hard and put the dragon back in his cage. She has a moment here and there but she has the tools to deal with it.

Your folks are tired of hearing about this but what about asking for professional help instead of asking for reassurance? Show them this thread. It speaks volumes.

Positive thoughts

You're treating you anxeity with meds so that's a HUGE positive. You

[Iwant2bhealthy]

Bella, I'm so sorry to hear you feel this way. I thinkn the fact that you are so young makes it even more difficult because you cannot decide for yourself yet.

You mention that you were put on medication years ago. Who prescribed them? I assume your parents had to be involved in making the decision, right? Was there any follow up on tour treatment? Did you see a psychologist?

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[Bellaaa13]

I'm old enough to be your Dad so sorry if this sounds like a Dad talk :)

You're fifteen. So much is changing rapidly in your life in all area so certainly that can be overwhelming and contributing to your anxiety.

My daughter will be 24. She came to me when she was around 18 and told me about her anxiety and depression. Myself, along with her mother (we're divorced) made sure she got help. She was on Zoloft but it stopped working so she went through three meds, the ramp up and cross tapering symptoms until they found something that worked (can't recall which one but it was common). Between her therapy and meds she worked hard and put the dragon back in his cage. She has a moment here and there but she has the tools to deal with it.

Your folks are tired of hearing about this but what about asking for professional help instead of asking for reassurance? Show them this thread. It speaks volumes.

Positive thoughts

You're treating you anxeity with meds so that's a HUGE positive. You

Hi,

Thank you so much for your reply. It was really kind of you and I'm glad your daughter is better now. I'm seeing a psychiatrist at the moment and will maybe show him what I wrote as I'm not really good at expressing how bad I'm feeling when we talk in person.

Thank you again :)

---------- Post added at 20:21 ---------- Previous post was at 20:19 ----------


Bella, I'm so sorry to hear you feel this way. I thinkn the fact that you are so young makes it even more difficult because you cannot decide for yourself yet.

You mention that you were put on medication years ago. Who prescribed them? I assume your parents had to be involved in making the decision, right? Was there any follow up on tour treatment? Did you see a psychologist?

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Thank you so much for your response :)

I was prescribed them at first when I was 12 by a psychiatrist who my parents arranged for me to see. They were really supportive about it and agreed to me taking medication as the doctor thought I should. I did also see a psychologist at the time and did CBT for a short while.

There wasn't really much follow up as I was feeling a lot better. I'm back to seeing the same psychiatrist again now, and I see him quite often to talk.

[Fishmanpa]

I'm seeing a psychiatrist at the moment and will maybe show him what I wrote as I'm not really good at expressing how bad I'm feeling when we talk in person.

Thank you again :)

:yesyes:

Positive thoughts

[Turnaround00]

Hi Bellaa

Sorry to hear you're struggling right now but things WILL change. I know it is tiring and you are fed up but its good to say to yourself that tomorrow IS another day and things do change very quickly so never give up hope.
Every time I have had a set back and my anxiety has flared up, I have come back stronger. At the moment I am having issues with anxiety but my new meds are taking effect and I am improving everyday. Prior to this, I was a mess and was prescribed prozac which did nothing and was so hard to keep going but we do and we get better.
I think people with anxiety are extraordinary people with the thickest shells, fighting through the day while others haven't a care in the world (or so it appears).

Did the meds work for you before? It is great that you are seen a therapist. Its important to see your doctor regularly too and at times like this when it feels too much, perhaps ask your mom or dad to take you to your gp to discuss your meds or just to check in with them and explain how you're feeling.
If it means going to your gp ten times in one week then so be it. Don't be afraid to annoy them, they're there to help you.
You will get there and you will feel better soon
As much as your GCSE's are important, its more important to get yourself better then you can always do your GCSE's again or you may not need to. Doing bad in your GCSE's will not prevent you from going to university. You can always resit or go to university a year later or years later. So try not to let that get you down but I know it is hard not to.
You will get to Uni if that is what you want to do. Do not stress over it now. JUst try relax and get well xx

[Iwant2bhealthy]

I'm back to seeing the same psychiatrist again now, and I see him quite often to talk.

Hang in there! You are on the right road to recovery. It takes time and effort but your anxiety will get manageable.

I think you give a lot importance to what you believe is expected of you. That's definately something to discuss with your theraphist. He can help you out with it.
In the meantime, be kind to yourself. Think of yourself as a good friend that needs your love and support. :-)

Also, have you tried to meditate before? I'm using an app with guided meditations and does wonders for my anxiety. Maybe you could try it too?

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[Bellaaa13]

Hi Bellaa

Sorry to hear you're struggling right now but things WILL change. I know it is tiring and you are fed up but its good to say to yourself that tomorrow IS another day and things do change very quickly so never give up hope.
Every time I have had a set back and my anxiety has flared up, I have come back stronger. At the moment I am having issues with anxiety but my new meds are taking effect and I am improving everyday. Prior to this, I was a mess and was prescribed prozac which did nothing and was so hard to keep going but we do and we get better.
I think people with anxiety are extraordinary people with the thickest shells, fighting through the day while others haven't a care in the world (or so it appears).

Did the meds work for you before? It is great that you are seen a therapist. Its important to see your doctor regularly too and at times like this when it feels too much, perhaps ask your mom or dad to take you to your gp to discuss your meds or just to check in with them and explain how you're feeling.
If it means going to your gp ten times in one week then so be it. Don't be afraid to annoy them, they're there to help you.
You will get there and you will feel better soon
As much as your GCSE's are important, its more important to get yourself better then you can always do your GCSE's again or you may not need to. Doing bad in your GCSE's will not prevent you from going to university. You can always resit or go to university a year later or years later. So try not to let that get you down but I know it is hard not to.
You will get to Uni if that is what you want to do. Do not stress over it now. JUst try relax and get well xx

This is such a kind message. Thank you so much, it really means a lot :)

Meds did help a little before but I'm taking a higher dose now so hopefully it will be more effective this time. Again, thank you :) I'll remember this message when I'm feeling bad :)

---------- Post added at 09:45 ---------- Previous post was at 09:42 ----------


Hang in there! You are on the right road to recovery. It takes time and effort but your anxiety will get manageable.

I think you give a lot importance to what you believe is expected of you. That's definately something to discuss with your theraphist. He can help you out with it.
In the meantime, be kind to yourself. Think of yourself as a good friend that needs your love and support. :-)

Also, have you tried to meditate before? I'm using an app with guided meditations and does wonders for my anxiety. Maybe you could try it too?

Sent from my SM-G800H using Tapatalk

Thank you so much for your nice reply, it's really helpful.

You're right, I care a lot about what's expected of me and I definitely think I need to work through that with my doctor

I have tried meditation a few times and found it really calming so I should give it a go again. I'll look at that app as well. Thanks again :)

[Iwant2bhealthy]

Good luck! :-)

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[Bellaaa13]

Good luck! :-)

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Thank you :)

[susie1]

First you are not being annoying. Health anxiety is all consuming and people on this site understand your anxiety. Please, please get some help. Some CBT or similar. I have wasted 30 years on health anxiety. please don't waste yourlife. Don't get to 50 and look back and think of all the time you wasted worrying excessively when you should have been enjoying your life. You are 15 with your whole life ahead of you. Live it. take care

[Bellaaa13]

First you are not being annoying. Health anxiety is all consuming and people on this site understand your anxiety. Please, please get some help. Some CBT or similar. I have wasted 30 years on health anxiety. please don't waste yourlife. Don't get to 50 and look back and think of all the time you wasted worrying excessively when you should have been enjoying your life. You are 15 with your whole life ahead of you. Live it. take care

Thanks for the reply. It's a bit complicated at the moment but I'm hoping to get some CBT soon. I can't imagine living with this for 30 years, you must be extremely strong. I'm 100% determined to get rid of my anxiety and enjoy life :)