Wait, what?

[danithegirl]

Just need to rant, per usual.

I was bad- in February I upped my dose from 20 to 30mg- unfortunately I became lazy and stopped cutting my extra pill in half so basically self-downed myself back to 20mg. Last week I got some pretty alarming news which caused my anxiety to spiral out of control- that night, I cut four pills in half so I could get back up to 30mg and see if it would help.

The entire week was hell. Breakdowns every day, and on Thursday I had to leave work early because it got so bad... I've only ever done that one other time.

Fast forward to today... I woke up with the brick in my stomach, per usual, got through the first few hours of the day with the foggy brain. Talked briefly to a coworker (she knows I'm going through a hard time), and almost cried when she offered her support.

Suddenly I'm back at my desk, and I'm about to work on some forms, and my mind drifted to the alarming news- but instead of panicking, I feel somewhat at ease. I don't want to say I'm not anxious about it, but I don't feel the need to cry right now. I feel like I can get up and get through the day. I'm actually somewhat excited about the concert I'm going to tonight. I'm excited to start therapy tomorrow.

Literally an hour ago I was dreading everything. Now I'm okay. I'm taking this with a grain of salt, but I really hope that maybe this is a sign that things are looking up and that maybe I can get back to my old self.

Lesson of this very second: when you get an increase in dose, don't lower it. There's a reason it was raised. I guess 10mg can make that big a difference, huh?

[karenp]

That's good to hear. It sounds like the Citalopram is settling darl. I took it three times for anxiety and it got me 100% better but I had to go up to 40mg so it was long, drawn out process getting to that dose but once I did, I was fantastic. I take Amitriptyline now and thought it's good, I still get bad days at this point. Good luck xxx

[danithegirl]

I hope so.... I may have spoken too soon because as soon as I got home from work, it was a nightmare again. I start therapy today so I'm hoping it helps... I feel completely insane right now.

[Bill]

This post is just something to think about regarding anxiety and medications.

I know a lot of people take medications and I know they do help a lot of people by easing their anxiety symptoms. They can be a really good support especially when anxiety takes over and we need something to help us cope. Some people feel happier always taking meds whereas others prefer to learn how to cope without. Others always take them out of necessity so the issue of meds is complex and often subjective. I think we all do what works for us.

The issue I want to raise is how meds can sometimes complicate anxiety.

Years ago I went through a very bad spell. Anxiety consumed me. I could see no way out. It drove me to self-harm because I felt I needed to relieve my emotional pain together with my the anxious feelings. I was suffering panic attacks. I couldn't seem to stop them. In the end I became suicidal. I had lost all hope of getting my life back.

I was prescribed countless meds. I found they often worked at first but then anxiety would rush back causing me to increase the dose until I reached their limit before being prescribed a new med to see if that worked better. The problem was, the meds couldn't cure the causes of my anxiety. All they could do was ease my anxious feelings until my body got so used to the dose that they would then have to be increased.

To give you an example in another way, imagine you're walking through the African plains. You're enjoying yourself looking at all the wildlife until one day a lion appears. It stands there watching you but doesn't attack. However, just it's stare is enough to induce panic making you want to run, to hide and for the lion just to move away. You feel so anxious, you decide to take some pills in the hope they'll make you feel better. After a few minutes the lion moves away but you still feel in an anxious state so keep taking the pills. After a while you feel better and you say to yourself, "Those pills must be working now because I feel better".

You continue walking, enjoying yourself again until out of the blue a cheetah starts running towards you. You panic, you think it's going to attack you but it suddenly stops to sit in front of you just to stare at you. Again you feel you want to run and hide but you feel you can't escape. You feel trapped and breathless. You know you couldn't outrun a cheetah so you stand there hoping it'll go away. You decide you need something to help with its stare so you go back to your pills and take a few more on top of the dose you're already taking.

After a while the cheetah walks away but again you still feel anxious. After a while though your anxiety subsides and you say to yourself "That increase in dose must be working because I'm feeling better again".

You carry on walking enjoying yourself once more until this time a leopard jumps out of a tree. It stops to stare at you...and once more the same thing happens. You increase your dose, the leopard walks away and you feel better.

The question to ask yourself though, would be do you feel better because of the increase in meds or because the animal has walked away so you no longer feel threatened?

In life, we are faced with daily stresses. We can have really good days, months and years coping fine until one day something happens that makes us feel really anxious. That "something" will cause us a lot of stress. That stress will make us feel we're being stared at by a man eater while we've been happily walking across the African Plain.

We may well feel we need to increase our dose to help us cope with it's stare and it may well help with the anxious feelings triggered but the something to consider is when it walks away, when the stress has past and our mind forgets the trauma we've suffered, would our anxiety naturally subside too...until the next trauma surfaces?

Medications certainly help ease anxious feelings but they do take time to kick in. Sometimes the length of time they need to kick in is as long as anxiety takes to "naturally" subside after a stressful event.

Just something to be aware of how the "quick fix" sometimes isn't what it might appear but that's not to say you shouldn't take them because sometimes we really do need them.