algorithm
28-06-17, 09:55
Hello Dears,
GAD been my friend since 2004 when i had my first panic attack and i stayed 6 hours not knowing what's going on with me, i left intense fear but didnt know the source of it. it happened after i smoked up ( even though i smoked up many time before ) .. ever since and after more complications ( not able to swallow food etc.. ) , i was diagnosed with GAD and was put on zoloft . ( note: since then i cant handle even hearing about weed ) .
i lived with horrible panic attacks in airplanes during business trips , but that isnt restricted to the plane itself , all the time being away from home, im totally detached , feeling nauseous , weak , that i wish i didnt exist .
things got worse in 2010 , after i stopped gradually zoloft and after 7 months i had horrible panic attack , that i had to leave back home for 2 months ( as i work abroad ) .. those 2 months were the worst days of my life .. i was restless 24/7 literally ! i couldnt sit down for a minute even if you give the world. during those 30 days , i have built agoraphobia for a day and when i tried to beat it by travelling by car to a nearby country , things got even worse and its now a "stain" in my mind/spirit. the safe zone start to shrink day after day and now all i can do is go to work and back home... going to have coffee out is a tough experience. xanax is my friend now .. i cant function without it.. my productivity is very low . even when i try to , i feel my brain is shivering ( that another story with brain shiver caused by meds or so ) ..
in the last 2 years i started clearly to notice my depression , now its killing me .. if i want to run away from anxiety by staying home , the depression increases dramatically .. if i want to run out to fight depression , anxiety and panic attacks are waiting on the corner .
i tried all type of meds , till i knew that meds isnt helping .. however, i still on a very low dosage of anafranil ( 37.5 daily ) and like 1.5mg of xanax....
here's my quick , written with anxiety , story .. i will write another one about how it affected my whole life , carreer wise , education wise and socially ..
i decided to write in here , maybe knowing im not alone can help me or i can help someone with mild anxiety .. i just hope so
Alain
GAD been my friend since 2004 when i had my first panic attack and i stayed 6 hours not knowing what's going on with me, i left intense fear but didnt know the source of it. it happened after i smoked up ( even though i smoked up many time before ) .. ever since and after more complications ( not able to swallow food etc.. ) , i was diagnosed with GAD and was put on zoloft . ( note: since then i cant handle even hearing about weed ) .
i lived with horrible panic attacks in airplanes during business trips , but that isnt restricted to the plane itself , all the time being away from home, im totally detached , feeling nauseous , weak , that i wish i didnt exist .
things got worse in 2010 , after i stopped gradually zoloft and after 7 months i had horrible panic attack , that i had to leave back home for 2 months ( as i work abroad ) .. those 2 months were the worst days of my life .. i was restless 24/7 literally ! i couldnt sit down for a minute even if you give the world. during those 30 days , i have built agoraphobia for a day and when i tried to beat it by travelling by car to a nearby country , things got even worse and its now a "stain" in my mind/spirit. the safe zone start to shrink day after day and now all i can do is go to work and back home... going to have coffee out is a tough experience. xanax is my friend now .. i cant function without it.. my productivity is very low . even when i try to , i feel my brain is shivering ( that another story with brain shiver caused by meds or so ) ..
in the last 2 years i started clearly to notice my depression , now its killing me .. if i want to run away from anxiety by staying home , the depression increases dramatically .. if i want to run out to fight depression , anxiety and panic attacks are waiting on the corner .
i tried all type of meds , till i knew that meds isnt helping .. however, i still on a very low dosage of anafranil ( 37.5 daily ) and like 1.5mg of xanax....
here's my quick , written with anxiety , story .. i will write another one about how it affected my whole life , carreer wise , education wise and socially ..
i decided to write in here , maybe knowing im not alone can help me or i can help someone with mild anxiety .. i just hope so
Alain