Update

[Vikingbeast]

I've chronicled here my worry/obsession/whatever you want to call it about the spot on the bottom of my mouth I bit months ago, and my ventures to the Oral Surgeon twice, my ENT, and my dentist several times.

Yesterday, I forgot I had my 6 month check up/cleaning with my dentist, but went. Dread instantly filled me. He's the latest one to told me that it's scar tissue, and I'll probably have it the rest of my life.

So the nice oral hygienist did her thing, then the dentist came in to do his check, which always includes a complete inner mouth check for anything unusual, and never mentioned the spot. Aside from some tooth issues, he said I checked out great.

Of course, I wasn't about to blow this opportunity to again discuss this spot with him. And actually, I did have a good question. I have a TERRIBLE problem with biting my tongue on accident when I eat, get scars, but they eventually heal up, so WHY won't this spot on the bottom of my mouth?

He's such a patient and nice guy. He simply said that the tongue is a resilient thing made up of different kinds of skin which is why those will heal. On the other hand, the structure, skin and tissue of the floor of the mouth is totally different, softer, thinner skin, which is why I'll probably have that scar a long time if not forever.

I mention all this to reinforce a couple things. Those of us with HA know the obsessions, dread, over-toxic thinking, yet I think those questions I posed to him yesterday were reasonable, in short, good questions. After all, I have scars on other parts of my body that have been with me for decades and never worried about them! Some parts of your body scar and totally heal, some not.

So my take-away from yesterday is that I MUST MUST MUST believe him! NO BIOPSY EVEN MENTIONED BY ANY OF THE THREE DOCTORS/DENTIST/ENT/ORAL SURGEON during my months of obsessing about this!

I'm always open to advice - I know what I got to do now mentally to put this to rest. So what I'm asking you, my friends, is this: Considering where I've been and putting yourself in that situation (mine), how would you deal with it? Accept? Reject? Continue to obsess?

Thanks in advance.

[Fishmanpa]

Considering where I've been and putting yourself in that situation (mine), how would you deal with it? Accept? Reject? Continue to obsess?

After the number of "all clears" you've received, I find it difficult to grapple with that question. You've taken a totally benign thing and given it such significance that it's become a controlling factor in your life.

Ok... let's create a scenario.... Let's say that this "spot" was something that created serious concern by the doctors you've seen. Let's say they were so concerned that they ordered a biopsy and braced you for the inevitable bad news (That's what happened to me). Now, let's say, after all the doctors thinking it was sinister, it came back benign. I would hope you would be ecstatic and be more than happy to accept that and move on.

What you're doing is in a way, the total opposite. I see this on the boards often. It's almost as if you want a diagnosis so you could say "See... I told you!" I can tell you had I gotten ONE doctor to tell me he didn't think the growing node in my neck was serious, I would have grabbed onto that with both hands and hung on for dear life!

The answer is obvious and you know what it is.

Positive thoughts

[axolotl]

Considering where I've been and putting yourself in that situation (mine), how would you deal with it? Accept? Reject? Continue to obsess?

Thanks in advance.

With respect I'm confused by the question too - are you asking what we should do, or what we would do? Because you've had the all clear, you should breathe a sigh of relief, and move on from that, working on your anxiety so you don't get hooked by the next inevitable HA scare. And to be honest, even at my worst HA spirals, I still have the good fortune to trust and respect doctors and their judgements.

Asking what we would do? Well we're all anxiety sufferers at various stages of recovery and self-reflection, and asking people that has no bearing on your own situation.

[Vikingbeast]

After the number of "all clears" you've received, I find it difficult to grapple with that question. You've taken a totally benign thing and given it such significance that it's become a controlling factor in your life.

Ok... let's create a scenario.... Let's say that this "spot" was something that created serious concern by the doctors you've seen. Let's say they were so concerned that they ordered a biopsy and braced you for the inevitable bad news (That's what happened to me). Now, let's say, after all the doctors thinking it was sinister, it came back benign. I would hope you would be ecstatic and be more than happy to accept that and move on.

What you're doing is in a way, the total opposite. I see this on the boards often. It's almost as if you want a diagnosis so you could say "See... I told you!" I can tell you had I gotten ONE doctor to tell me he didn't think the growing node in my neck was serious, I would have grabbed onto that with both hands and hung on for dear life!

The answer is obvious and you know what it is.

Positive thoughts

THANKS fishman! Yes, I know what the answer is. Cracking the "code" is the hard part of acceptance! I just haven't cracked it yet, but I'm trying.

---------- Post added at 13:01 ---------- Previous post was at 12:58 ----------


With respect I'm confused by the question too - are you asking what we should do, or what we would do? Because you've had the all clear, you should breathe a sigh of relief, and move on from that, working on your anxiety so you don't get hooked by the next inevitable HA scare. And to be honest, even at my worst HA spirals, I still have the good fortune to trust and respect doctors and their judgements.

Asking what we would do? Well we're all anxiety sufferers at various stages of recovery and self-reflection, and asking people that has no bearing on your own situation.

Yes, exactly, working on acceptance and on the HA is what I must do and am doing. Trusting and respecting the EXPERTS and I'm NOT an expert like they are! Thank you so much!!!!

I will beat this!

---------- Post added at 13:16 ---------- Previous post was at 13:01 ----------

Fishman and Axo - You two seem to have a totally better grip on HA than I do at this point. And I value your input ALWAYS! But I need to ask - back to my original post, I believe I was within reasonable mind frame and right to ask the dentist yesterday what I did (why some scars last, some heal completely). Again, I'm no doctor and I thought it was a fair question.

Do you? Or do you think it was more fuel to my HA?

Thanks in advance.

[axolotl]

THANKS fishman! Yes, I know what the answer is. Cracking the "code" is the hard part of acceptance! I just haven't cracked it yet, but I'm trying.

---------- Post added at 13:01 ---------- Previous post was at 12:58 ----------



Yes, exactly, working on acceptance and on the HA is what I must do and am doing. Trusting and respecting the EXPERTS and I'm NOT an expert like they are! Thank you so much!!!!

I will beat this!

---------- Post added at 13:16 ---------- Previous post was at 13:01 ----------

Fishman and Axo - You two seem to have a totally better grip on HA than I do at this point. And I value your input ALWAYS! But I need to ask - back to my original post, I believe I was within reasonable mind frame and right to ask the dentist yesterday what I did (why some scars last, some heal completely). Again, I'm no doctor and I thought it was a fair question.

Do you? Or do you think it was more fuel to my HA?

Thanks in advance.

If something's bothering you, or you're curious about something. and you're seeing a professional that's a good time to ask the questions. But I'm not quite sure what you're getting at here? You seem to be fishing for some reassurance? Maybe us telling you you're not health anxious?

Thinking "there's a weird bit in my mouth, I'll have to remember to ask the dentist next time I see him because I'm curious what it is" isn't HA.

Thinking "there's a weird bit in my mouth, I'm going to catastrophise and theorise that it's oral cancer, Google symptoms, get worked up about it, dwell on it..." is HA.

Which one were you?

I'm actually in the middle of a pretty bad HA spiral at the moment, don't be fooled into thinking I'm not in the same place as other posters on here, I just know the golden rule of not reassurance seeking and discussing my "symptoms" and try my hardest to stick to it (with a few lapses). This is why using these kind of forums to ask what people would do or how they would feel isn't helpful.

[Fishmanpa]

Fishman and Axo - You two seem to have a totally better grip on HA than I do at this point.

I'm not a sufferer. I found this forum because HA sufferers were posting on the cancer forum I was part of. I followed a couple of them here to give them a piece of my mind as I find that very disrespectful.

I ended up reading and staying to offer help if I could, especially concerning heart and oral cancer fears as I'm a survivor. Also, my daughter suffers from anxiety and depression and I've learned a lot about the anxious mind here.

I have dealt with some depression and "scanxiety" (anxiety resulting from follow up exams after my cancer) but I was fully aware of what was happening, sought professional help and worked through it.

So when I personally see posts like yours (and many others), I find it difficult to comprehend how something so definitively black and white can be skewed to all the colors of the rainbow. I also see through all the fog and know it's reassurance seeking and the dragon with his hands wrapped around your neck. You have your answer and the issue should be put to rest. I would have been done with it after the first oral surgeon's visit!

Positive thoughts

[Vikingbeast]

If something's bothering you, or you're curious about something. and you're seeing a professional that's a good time to ask the questions. But I'm not quite sure what you're getting at here? You seem to be fishing for some reassurance? Maybe us telling you you're not health anxious?

Thinking "there's a weird bit in my mouth, I'll have to remember to ask the dentist next time I see him because I'm curious what it is" isn't HA.

Thinking "there's a weird bit in my mouth, I'm going to catastrophise and theorise that it's oral cancer, Google symptoms, get worked up about it, dwell on it..." is HA.

Which one were you?

I'm actually in the middle of a pretty bad HA spiral at the moment, don't be fooled into thinking I'm not in the same place as other posters on here, I just know the golden rule of not reassurance seeking and discussing my "symptoms" and try my hardest to stick to it (with a few lapses). This is why using these kind of forums to ask what people would do or how they would feel isn't helpful.

As my counselor says, "Puke it out on paper" Or in this case, type it out.

I'm kind of in the middle right now Axo - some days are great, some half and half, some not so good. I guess at this stage and still being relatively new here, I DO know on some level we're all speaking the same language others around us can't. A support group thing, maybe?

I'm just figuring we're here to help each other beat this.

---------- Post added at 15:33 ---------- Previous post was at 15:28 ----------


I'm not a sufferer. I found this forum because HA sufferers were posting on the cancer forum I was part of. I followed a couple of them here to give them a piece of my mind as I find that very disrespectful.

I ended up reading and staying to offer help if I could, especially concerning heart and oral cancer fears as I'm a survivor. Also, my daughter suffers from anxiety and depression and I've learned a lot about the anxious mind here.

I have dealt with some depression and "scanxiety" (anxiety resulting from follow up exams after my cancer) but I was fully aware of what was happening, sought professional help and worked through it.

So when I personally see posts like yours (and many others), I find it difficult to comprehend how something so definitively black and white can be skewed to all the colors of the rainbow. I also see through all the fog and know it's reassurance seeking and the dragon with his hands wrapped around your neck. You have your answer and the issue should be put to rest. I would have been done with it after the first oral surgeon's visit!

Positive thoughts

And I hope you STAY! People here need you.

Yes, that was disrespectful. You probably held your temper better than I would have.

All I can say Fishman is that I have a hell of a lot of respect for what you have to say, haven't totally beaten this yet, but have learned a lot here about this silly monkey on our backs (for me, more like the whole damned jungle sometimes).

Just trying to work through this and the words of many here help, and what you tell me DOES help! It's a process.

[axolotl]

As my counselor says, "Puke it out on paper" Or in this case, type it out.

I'm kind of in the middle right now Axo - some days are great, some half and half, some not so good. I guess at this stage and still being relatively new here, I DO know on some level we're all speaking the same language others around us can't. A support group thing, maybe?

I'm just figuring we're here to help each other beat this.

Indeed we are - and the best thing to do is to talk to other posters about the anxiety itself rather than seeking reassurance for the "symptoms" of your fears. The latter is just random mind-farts of our daft anxious minds and should be treated as such.

This forum isn't a forum of different topics, about ALS, or MS, or lymphomas, or whatever... virtually every post is the same at heart - "I'm irrationally worrying about a health issue". And part of what helps you understand your own anxiety is recognising that in yourself - it doesn't matter if a small mark in your mouth has led you to oral cancer, or a spot to melanoma, or a twitch to ALS. Every time you get a fear it's the same process, the same "I'm irrationally scared of Disease X because of Vague Bodily Change Y". The specifics of X and Y are largely meaningless. This is why there's impatience with some posters who don't want to see this and spend years going through scores of different fears over months and years without learning this.

It doesn't stop the anxiety, you need professionals to help you do that, but realising this pattern and the arbitrary nature of your specific fears helps you start to think "here we go again", rather than "I think I've got X".

[Vikingbeast]

Indeed we are - and the best thing to do is to talk to other posters about the anxiety itself rather than seeking reassurance for the "symptoms" of your fears. The latter is just random mind-farts of our daft anxious minds and should be treated as such.

This forum isn't a forum of different topics, about ALS, or MS, or lymphomas, or whatever... virtually every post is the same at heart - "I'm irrationally worrying about a health issue". And part of what helps you understand your own anxiety is recognising that in yourself - it doesn't matter if a small mark in your mouth has led you to oral cancer, or a spot to melanoma, or a twitch to ALS. Every time you get a fear it's the same process, the same "I'm irrationally scared of Disease X because of Vague Bodily Change Y". The specifics of X and Y are largely meaningless. This is why there's impatience with some posters who don't want to see this and spend years going through scores of different fears over months and years without learning this.

It doesn't stop the anxiety, you need professionals to help you do that, but realising this pattern and the arbitrary nature of your specific fears helps you start to think "here we go again", rather than "I think I've got X".

I couldn't agree more and am totally aware of what you are saying. For me right now it's a real ping pong game, but trust me, I AM working on it other than coming here and seeking reassurance (which I plead guilty to on my weak moments). On the other hand, coming here DOES and HAS given me help and support. I kind of think that is what this is for, or am I missing something?

Thanks.

---------- Post added at 15:48 ---------- Previous post was at 15:47 ----------

Oh, and Axo, I send you a PM with a question.