Mazzii342
01-07-17, 01:14
Like I can get hold of anything just tell me what I need, to feel a complete lack of anxiety, and complete feeling of calm. I'll tell you why.
A few weeks ago at University I was having a conversation with my tutor about what work I need to do to pass the year. I hadn't been in in months due to debilitating anxiety but I made it for the final week. (It is practical based so could do at home, no exams). My tutor made a passing comment saying how if I hadn't done enough work maybe I should consider killing myself... he said it as a joke but of course I was shocked somebody would even say that.. even so I laughed it off and told some people what he'd said. Long story short it got back to the Uni and they told ME off for telling people. Said it was a joke and that I shouldn't have spread it because it could upset some "vulnerable" people. (I'd been off for over 2 months with depression and anxiety I don't know how much more vulnerable a person could get, but there you go). I'm in the shi* with them now and the whole staff know about it and they seem annoyed at me.
I apologised (emailing, I couldn't face him in person) to my tutor and he told me it is dangerous to talk about what was said and that he hopes I know how serious it was etc etc and finally told me to put it behind us and hand in my resit (i failed first semester due to anxiety too).
Anyway, I have to go back in 2 weeks to hand in my new work. I'm so so anxious and scared, I know people know, and that they'll look at me, judge me, whatever. I need something, a one time thing, to make me completely and utterly calm. Or even something that'll get me confident, I know there's no miraculous medication but I've had codeine before and forgotten I took it, so I'd double dosed and felt on top of the world. I was considering if nothing will calm me, at least something like that might make me forget i'm anxious and make me confident and chattery instead. Whatever works best. I have a ritalin/adderall-type drug that makes me chattery but adds to my anxiety so that probably wouldn't work, what do you recon?
Has anybody tried Xanax? Would that make me calm for 20 mins while I hand this damn work in? I will completely fail if I don't personally hand in and I can't imagine doing this without some kind of medication-type aid. It'll be a one off as I don't like taking meds much. I have diazepam 2mg and 10mg but they don't keep me calm enough.
Thankyou
A few weeks ago at University I was having a conversation with my tutor about what work I need to do to pass the year. I hadn't been in in months due to debilitating anxiety but I made it for the final week. (It is practical based so could do at home, no exams). My tutor made a passing comment saying how if I hadn't done enough work maybe I should consider killing myself... he said it as a joke but of course I was shocked somebody would even say that.. even so I laughed it off and told some people what he'd said. Long story short it got back to the Uni and they told ME off for telling people. Said it was a joke and that I shouldn't have spread it because it could upset some "vulnerable" people. (I'd been off for over 2 months with depression and anxiety I don't know how much more vulnerable a person could get, but there you go). I'm in the shi* with them now and the whole staff know about it and they seem annoyed at me.
I apologised (emailing, I couldn't face him in person) to my tutor and he told me it is dangerous to talk about what was said and that he hopes I know how serious it was etc etc and finally told me to put it behind us and hand in my resit (i failed first semester due to anxiety too).
Anyway, I have to go back in 2 weeks to hand in my new work. I'm so so anxious and scared, I know people know, and that they'll look at me, judge me, whatever. I need something, a one time thing, to make me completely and utterly calm. Or even something that'll get me confident, I know there's no miraculous medication but I've had codeine before and forgotten I took it, so I'd double dosed and felt on top of the world. I was considering if nothing will calm me, at least something like that might make me forget i'm anxious and make me confident and chattery instead. Whatever works best. I have a ritalin/adderall-type drug that makes me chattery but adds to my anxiety so that probably wouldn't work, what do you recon?
Has anybody tried Xanax? Would that make me calm for 20 mins while I hand this damn work in? I will completely fail if I don't personally hand in and I can't imagine doing this without some kind of medication-type aid. It'll be a one off as I don't like taking meds much. I have diazepam 2mg and 10mg but they don't keep me calm enough.
Thankyou