I messed up really bad

[sdoxo]

Ok I'm going to try to keep this as short as possible. Last night I was still feeling a little curious about my blood results so I googled "elevated wbc and lymphocytes" and BOOM lymphoma. So I did the stupidest thing possible and ended up on a forum with people talking about their symptoms, some of which had NONE.

I have never been one to worry about lymphoma but ever since last night its consuming me. I was up until almost 4 am on NMP reading other peoples similar fears. And as soon as I opened my eyes this morning all the fear came rushing back.

The crazy thing is that I dont have many symptoms but I'm still terrified :(

No swollen nodes that I can feel. I have something above my collarbone I can feel but gp said it didn't feel like a node. I have been itching the last week or so. Maily on the back of my shoulders but now it has started to spread to other places.

I do get night sweats sometimes, I'm aware this could be anxiety but now I'm not convinced. I also get tired sometimes. Not to the point of not functioning but I can always take a nap at any given time. I have lost a little weight but not much. I do think this is anxiety as I havent been eating much.

I still come back to my blood tests. Wbc is 12 and lymphocytes are 4.6. I want them retested so bad that I'm thinking of changing doctors in order to do so.

For what its worth I just turned 26 in May. But there were lots of people my age on that forum and it terrifies me.

Any response is appreciated :(

[Fishmanpa]

Any response is appreciated :(

"Any" response? All I'm going to say is PLEASE stay off the cancer sites. It's highly disrespectful to take your worries to people actually suffering the disease when it's so apparent what you suffer from is not a physical illness.

Positive thoughts

[sdoxo]

Oh no I didn't take my worries to them, nobody even knew I was there. I was just lurking and reading, thats all. I would never comment.

[worryingmum]

Hi
I've had this fear very recently and had blood results which were also v similar. After talking with my doctor she explained that the wbc would be very raised not just slightly which suggests infection. They know what they're looking for you would of been referred for further investigations very quickly. X

[ktdid2000]

I've ended up on cancer forums quite a few times and I can tell you they are BAD places for people like us.

We go there looking for similar symptoms so we can get more fuel with which to diagnose ourselves with the diseases we fear, but the information there is probably no better than what we could find somewhere else on the Internet. Remember - they may be people with the disease, but they are people just like you and me and who knows if what they felt or experienced is related to their actual problem or something else! They are not doctors either.

Not trying to discredit their experience, just saying that I wouldn't consider any layperson a credible source of information about any disease - there is definitely a reason very few people have M.D. behind our names.

[siwz991]

Hey my lymphoma anxiety started when I landed on few cancer forums. I developed night sweats at least one time per week and it lasted around a year can you imagine? My t-shirt was soaked and it was anxiety. Also normally my temperature is around 36.6 and never changes. I had 37.1-2 because of anxiety! Somatizatio n is my main problem... Take care and DONT GOOGLE

[gillebro]

Oh lord. That sounds terrible and terrifying, and I have no doubt you're kicking yourself for doing that Google search in the first place.

All of these symptoms you mention sound like classic anxiety symptoms. Itchiness, night sweats, lack of appetite. That's all pretty textbook. As for feeling tired sometimes, well, we all feel tired sometimes, and you might be feeling moreso, again because of anxiety. If you think about it, your brain is working a mile a minute processing and reprocessing your fears and worries, and the rest of your body is busy reacting to them. It's no wonder that you're feeling tired with all of that going on.

I hope things improve for you soon.

[MrsBritty]

I don't know a lot about lymphoma, but my very beloved uncle died from leukemia at 45 and it was very traumatic for me since then I experience phases of anxiety about a familial link and cancer. I just want to tell you he did not have a single "symptom" until he passed out on the bathroom floor one night, otherwise seemingly healthy. We took him to the ER thinking maybe he had a blood sugar problem they did a blood test and immediately knew something was very wrong and kept him over night. If you had cancer something would be very off in your blood work and they would not allow you to leave. Also, recently my son had a skin infection (contagious Mollusca) and while treating his small skin blemishes with topical cream he asked me to rub his scalp to sleep as I sometimes do I reached down and he had a huge lump on his neck. I panicked fearing he had lymphoma or leukemia. I took him to urgent care bright and early the next morning after not sleeping all night. The doctor said it happens to kids all of the time and that it actually meant his body was filtering out an infection most likely the skin infection he had, she gave me antibiotics to treat it. After two weeks on antibiotics his swollen lymph node had not gone down so I took him to his pediatrician she gave me a different antibiotic, but I requested blood work, everything came back completely normal. His lymph node went down within a week. He was completely fine, my anxieties caused me to think the worst. It's hard but try to calm down.