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View Full Version : I stress I'm going to poison myself.



Maggy May
01-07-17, 14:57
I feel I am still spiralling and new problems keep popping up.

I have had quite a few bad reactions to medication and since then a new problem has started growing where I am too anxious to take my meds as I worry I will get bad side effects, or the doctors haven't read my full history and it will cause problems.


(Some background info if you're interested - I suffer chronic pain which has made my mental health take a nosedive. I am now diagnosed with generalised anxiety disorder, panic disorder, agoraphobia and treatment resistant/refractory depression on top of A load of physical conditions. I am amounting quite a list, it feels like my body and brain is just falling apart.)

It is now stretching to if I am working with household products I worry I am injesting it through my skin, or accidently licking my fingers and poisoning myself. Some things like solder it's a genuine issue, but I should not be worrying that much as it's not exactly going to make me drop dead but I just feel it getting worse and worse.

I am getting lots of aches and pains and I can't work out if they are genuine or if it's just anxiety. I have just been told my vitamin d and folic acid levels are rock bottom but am now too anxious to take the supplements I have been given in big doses as I worry there are other things that haven't been checked which will cause bad side effects.

I Don't want to question the as they are trained and I know they should know what they are doing but I see and read so many things about things getting missed because the system is so stretched. And I feel like since being diagnosed with anxiety they don't even check they just say 'it's your anxiety' and I Feel like it's partly the anxiety but it's because I feel the new pains and then the anxiety kicks in but I know my body... something doesn't feel right.

I don't want to be more of a burden with the physical side of things but I feel the physical side of things is what's making the mental side worse and it's like this massive vicious circle. I don't know whether this is some kind of health anxiety or a phobia as I have had a lot of bad reactions?

Sorry for the essay, I'm just in a bit of a rutt, I am not seeing my psychiatrist again for a while as he wants to wait on more pain management being sorted out so I am a bit on my own with this one at the moment.

Phuzella
01-07-17, 15:02
Take the supplements. They will make you feel better. I know how you feel about poisoning etc. What are the ingredients in the supplements??

Maggy May
01-07-17, 16:30
It's just vitamin d3 and folic acid with the added maize starch , sucrose etc that hulks it out and the colourings on the coatings. It's illogical but I'm getting myself into panic stations every time. The over-thinking is exhausting. I'm not sure if I'm becoming paranoid or just over-thinking more

Phuzella
01-07-17, 16:33
I know just how you feel. Try to think of it as food . After all they're not drugs, they're things your body needs to be healthy :)

Maggy May
01-07-17, 16:52
Thank you.
I'm trying my best to tell myself to listen to reason, but my mind and the knot in the stomach does what it wants to :( the worst part is knowing it's illogical, telling yourself it's stupid and it makes no difference.