Breaking the circle - how?

[Falconbach]

Like I mentioned before I suffer from disturbed vision and most annoying is the double vision. I'm sure it is only anxiety which is causing this, probably my eye muscles are strained because of it which causes misalignment.
Experienced this also in my 2011 anxiety period but got medication and my eyes went back to normal after few months.
However, even with this experience and almost 100% surance that this is just repeat I'm having difficulty to stop thinking about this and thinking what if it gets worse. My ultimate fear is going blind but still my rational mind knows that it is not going to happen and this is "just" anxiety talking.
I'm not on medication now because this anxiety now was mostly caused by taking same med as got me through last time, took just 2 tablets and my anxiety sky rocketed.

How can I break this damaging mind circle?

[ocdbaking]

If it makes you feel better, I have slight double vision which was causing me headaches a couple of years ago. Went to the optician; turns out my eyes can't seem to co-ordinate properly, so don't focus together. There's nothing serious behind this - my eyes are just a bit rubbish! I wear glasses now with a prism in one of the lenses, alongside a mild prescription as I'm slightly short sighted as well. It's worse when I'm tired.

In other words, it's unlikely to be anything serious. I went to the optician because I was fed up of squinting and the headaches, not because I was especially worried.

[Falconbach]

If it makes you feel better, I have slight double vision which was causing me headaches a couple of years ago. Went to the optician; turns out my eyes can't seem to co-ordinate properly, so don't focus together. There's nothing serious behind this - my eyes are just a bit rubbish! I wear glasses now with a prism in one of the lenses, alongside a mild prescription as I'm slightly short sighted as well. It's worse when I'm tired.

In other words, it's unlikely to be anything serious. I went to the optician because I was fed up of squinting and the headaches, not because I was especially worried. Thank you for your reply. :)

Anyway, I have now been to two eye doctors and one of them is eye surgion (which I went to today) and both of them told me that my eyes were healthy and where moving and aligned normally.

So my anxiety seems to be causing all these problems for me. I just need to relax and give my brain and body rest so it can recover.

[CleverLittleViper]

The first step towards breaking the cycle of anxiety is to admit that it is anxiety causing your symptoms in the first place. It sounds like you are aware that it is anxiety causing the issue, which means you've made/are making the first step.

The "road to recovery" is different for everyone. For me, I broke the cycle (it still comes back every now and then just in case I get too comfortable) by going on medication and stopping the habits that were fuelling the anxiety in the first place.

I withdrew from using Dr Google. I started to tell myself if it were something serious, Google couldn't help me anyhow so what was the point? It was a gradual process-cutting down my usage, altering it to make it less "triggering" and then cutting it out altogether. I know not everyone with HA uses Google or a similar search engine-but if you do, I recommend finding a way to cut it back. I noticed as I cut down, the less reliant I became on it. The less I wanted to use it.

I think, for a lot of us that have found methods of recovery and have reached the "holy grail" so to speak, there is a turning point moment. A moment where you go, "You know what? I've had enough of this crap." It's at that moment I committed myself to change. I walked more for longer, I spent less time Googling, I committed myself to a long-term medication plan. I abstained from reassurance seeking methods.

Breaking the cycle is about finding out precisely what fuels your particular cycle and starving it of oxygen. If it is Google or other reassurance methods, cut it off. If you can't go cold turkey, do a gradual fade like I did. If you haven't already, talk to your doctor. They can be a great resource and support for things like anxiety-not just for medication, but for advice, and directing you to good support services for anxiety.

It's not simple, and there's not a single fix that will work for everyone. It's just about finding and trying new methods, and if it fails, try something else or try again. You're not going to feel better overnight, but you can rest assured that what you're suffering with is anxiety-related and that means that you can take measures to work on that and combat it.

Some people find picking up a new hobby to be helpful, mindfulness or yoga, or walking the dogs (a personal fave of mine). It's hard, but you've already made the first step by acknowledging that it is anxiety that is causing your symptoms.

Good luck, and I apologise for the senseless ramble. :flowers:

[nj]

My biggest problem is trying to forget all the knowledge I previously amassed. I haven't visited Dr Google in years. My HA is fueled by the things I learned from previous visits.

[melfish]

I can't seem to get past step one. The rest makes perfect sense, and if I could accept step one, I could throw myself into my recovery with zeal. But I just can't accept this is anxiety and not the disease I fear. I'm too scared to go to the doctor, so I feel like I'm stuck in this limbo of terror.

[CleverLittleViper]

I can't seem to get past step one. The rest makes perfect sense, and if I could accept step one, I could throw myself into my recovery with zeal. But I just can't accept this is anxiety and not the disease I fear. I'm too scared to go to the doctor, so I feel like I'm stuck in this limbo of terror.

You can accept that it is anxiety, but you're choosing not to.

You're only stuck for as long as you choose to be. I would recommend visiting your doctor. I know that it is scary, but until you choose to do something about it, it's not going to get any better. It will only get worse.

So, book an appointment, and wait for their professional opinion. It very likely is not the disease that you fear-the chances of anyone correctly diagnosing themselves is slim, so put that to the back of your mind as best you can, and make the trip to the doctors.

You're keeping yourself locked in the cycle because you're choosing to do nothing about it-i.e. getting an official diagnosis, and support from your doctor. It's up to you to decide which is greater-your fear or your need to get better?

[melfish]

I know that is what I need to do. It's funny, because three months ago, before I started spending all day, every day reading about the disease I fear, I was way less scared and functioning almost normally. Even though my symptoms were there. I don't think they've worsened, it's just that I'm noticing more of them and being hypervigilant, because of all the reading. At least that's what I tell myself ....