Rosie99
03-07-17, 10:39
I feel like Im actually a lesbian, that I cant help it, I dont know whats happening to me, I've read about ego-dystonic orientation and I can relate to every word right now, I know this started as hocd, but now it feels like ego-dystonic homosexuality, I play romantic escenarios with woman and I actually feel that I like them and that I "yearn" to have it, even tho in my insides theres this huge weight I cant shake off, Im not anxious anymore, not even stressed, all im anxious about is that I will have to come out of the closet, the image of being romantic with a girl feels right, and I cant remember my heterosexual life and even if I do it seems so blurry and as if it was all fake, I swear to god that I was straight, I still find guys attractive but I try to picture my life with a guy and I feel nothing, I cant even picture my life with a man anymore as if I knew that I wont get fulfilled by a heterosexual relationship, and I know that I used to be disgusted by my same sex sexual experience but since now I feel like I can only fall in love with woman the sex will come naturally. I really feel like a lesbian now, my worst fear came true and im not even doubting that I am no longer heterosexual (I even doubt that I ever was)